June 13, 2015

At the First-There-Is-A-Mountain Café...

P1320705

... you can talk about whatever you want.

The photo is by Meade, who has returned from the mountain.

11 comments:

Hagar said...

America, the land of opportunity where anyone can realize his or her full potential and become what they want.

But it seems like some folks are taking this a little too literally these days.

Coupe said...

Dynamite will fix that...

Hagar said...

I saw a report that the Iraqi forces "trained" by Obama so far amount to X Kurds, Y Shia Iraqi, and 0 Sunnis.
The US seems to have gone from being in an undeclared war with Iran to becoming Iran's junior ally in the Middle East.

But do the Iranian government - ayatollahs or generals - consider us as allies?
If so, why do they continue to call us names - and worse?

Static Ping said...

First, there was a mountain.

Then there was a crack in the mountain.

Then there was a massive rock slide along that crack, crushing everything in its path, killing thousands, and threatening the habitat of the spotted owl, which amazingly adapted quite nicely, unlike the squished humans. Apparently, squished humans gel well with the owl’s palate, or at least the eyes do, and human skulls provide excellent protection from predators for their eggs.

Then Hollywood made a movie called The Crack about the rock slide starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, ironically. A bevy of entertainment executives got laid and bought fifth yachts and made political contributions to politicians who curse out those that make slightly less or more than the entertainment executives. The film featured an environmental theme proving beyond a doubt that spotted owls are jerks. It wasn't as good as Sharknado 2 but did very well overseas.

Then the rock slide revealed massive amounts of precious metals, and the people who built their homes on top of the squished humans thrived in this wealth, building up a large city. The jewelry make on premises was highly prized by those that had nothing else to spend their money on, and while they were there the filthy rich bought plushies of the half-to-two-thirds-of-a-mountain for their children to cuddle while sleeping. There would later be a niche branch of psychology specifically targeted at these children when they realized the dark truth of their sleep buddies. For $1,000 an hour the guilt of intimacy with such a capitalistic greed symbol could be assuaged, allowing the patient to travel to exotic locations and berate the waiters making 50 cents a week in peace. For $2,000 an hour the psychiatrist would also provide expert testimony in court that the plushie had failed to gain proper consent and was obviously guilty of rape. This led to multiple expulsions of plushies from various colleges. Well, only one plushie. Yes, it was Harvard. Yale draws the line at robotic pets no matter how much you donate to the endowment fund.

Then they released the Balrog because, well, they always do. And he did not get along at all with the ghosts of the squished humans, much less the spirits residing in the violated Native American burial grounds. And I tell you, while dwarfs generally do not need a reason to be grumpy, that really did not appreciate the mining company breaking through the roof of their dining room during happy hour especially well followed by an owl flyover and scat drop. This culminates in a further collapse of the mountain, revealing Cthulhu and Gaia battling for the future of the planet. Or having sex. Or both. Really, with all the tentacles and questionable biology it’s really anyone’s guess. The Balrog suggested they get a room, assuming that was not considered a microaggression. The anime version became the most popular media feature in the history of Japan.

I'm not really sure where to go with this after that, but I do recommend spackle.

Beware the owls.

Terry said...

If only people had listened to Barack Obama in 2002, Sadam Hussein would still be in power in Iraq! Stupid, stupid Bush!

surfed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
surfed said...

Then there is no mountain, then there is.

Interesting,not crazy said...

" In Iran, the moral police translate to the fashion police, quite literally. More than 70,000 trained men known as "the moral police" have been deployed in Tehran and are cracking down on "un-Islamic" clothing and haircuts. This means no shorts and necklaces on guys and no loose-fitting head-scarves, tight jackets, or exposed legs for women. The threat of being fined and even arrested looms, especially with the increasing summer heat causing young people to push the boundaries of these rigid restrictions.

While men wearing cut-offs might be a controversial clothing choice in any part of the world, making them illegal in Iran is an unsurprisingly extreme measure meant to combat "the Western cultural invasion." Last year ponytails and mullets were also outlawed for being "decadent." "

Hagar said...

So many people - at home and abroad - are going to severely disappoint President Obama by just not behaving as he thinks they ought to.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Owl Canyon off 287 can be a quick way from Laramie to I-25 headed South.

But you watch your ass on those red rocky roads; rashes result roundly otherwise.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Ted's Place is too far South.... Darn it I don't remember anymore.

I am going to say Owl Canyon is North of Ted's Place. That's that.

But remember if you're ever there: Watch the damn dusty dirt roads, who boy.