May 31, 2015

"Secretary of State John Kerry broke his leg in bike crash near Scionzier in France on Sunday, apparently after hitting a curb."

"The secretary is stable and never lost consciousness, his injury is not life-threatening and he is expected to make a full recovery..."

Hitting a curb? How do you hit something stationary? I saw "Cyclist crashes into a parked car" on Reddit yesterday... [GIF after the break.]

ADDED: Bring on the metaphor. I remember when Obama kept talking about Bush driving the car (America) into a ditch: "After they drove the car into the ditch, made it as difficult as possible for us to pull it back, now they want the keys back.... No! You can't drive. We don't want to have to go back into the ditch. We just got the car out."

87 comments:

gspencer said...

When you can't see Iran - a Muslim country which takes its Koran-instruction of killing all Jews seriously - as dangerous (with and without nuclear weapons), not seeing a curb is easily understood.

Gahrie said...

When you spend you whole life constantly going farther and farther Left, you're likely to hit a curb or two.

Clyde said...

That's what always happens when you go too far left.

Clyde said...

Great minds, eh, Gahrie!

campy said...

How do you hit something stationary?

Do cars never hit anything stationary? I guess the $40,000 damage my house suffered from an SUV back in '06 must have been a delusion.

Virgil Hilts said...

I love bicycles and use them to commute about half the time. But this is the problem with using drop down handlebars. They hurt your neck and back and you cannot see what is going on around you (its only really comfortable if you look straight down).
So what if the drop downs improve aerodynamics? You're trying to get exercise! If you want to go faster but don't want to have to exercise harder to do it, then get an electric assist bicycle or a motorcycle. Just my opinion.

bearing said...

There's also the possibility of thinking you can just roll up over the curb onto the sidewalk, but then it turns out the curb is higher or more steeply angled than you thought and you go over the handlebars instead. I think most regular cyclists have learned not to try that by the time they're 50 or so, though.

Ron Snyder said...

good.

Meade said...

He meant to do that.

traditionalguy said...

He tried to ride up on a curb and the shock broke his old man bone. He needs to leave us alone and retire to rich man,s liberal heave where the 1960s make perfect sense again.

Bob Boyd said...

Update:
U. S. Secretary of State John Kerry announced an end to his efforts at negotiating a substantive French curb after an anticipated breakthrough yesterday failed, bringing what had been seen as considerable momentum to a crashing halt.

Paco Wové said...

"Paramedics and a physician were on the scene with Kerry’s motorcade at the time and provided immediate attention."

So, he was bicycling along, with a full motorcade crawling along behind him? I guess that makes sense, but it seems pretty awkward.

virgil xenophon said...

"...his injury is not life-threatening.."

Bullshit. That is a major bone and at his age, the poss. of embolisms forming that could go to heart or brain is very great. Perhaps Dr. K can speak to this, but my wife the RN w. 40 yrs experience says it's FAR from a non-trivial event.

virgil xenophon said...

***corr: meant "trivial"

Bob Boyd said...

When word of Secretary Kerry's accident reached him, Iran's chief negotiator responded, "Allahu Akbar!"

RichardJohnson said...

It would appear that commenters here do not have a lot of love here for Joohn Francis Kerryman. Nor do I.

robother said...

Bicycling is another childish thing that Boomers refuse to put aside. Just as every guy I knew in high school or college that rode a motorcycle got in some kind of wreck, all but one of my partners who were still into bicycling in their late 50s to early 70s had broken bones (and worse in two cases involving vehicles) from cycling. At some point, you no longer have the reflexes to handle 35 mph on 2 wheels. Not to speak of the amount of distracted texting/phone drivers you are sharing the roads with.

Skyler said...

I heard he was in Vietnam back in the day.

However much I hate the guy, accidents happen and sometimes you hit a curb with a bike. Let's concentrate on some good reasons to hate him.

Gahrie said...

Let's concentrate on some good reasons to hate him.

I don't hate him...but I bet Sen. Heinz is spinning in his grave.

One of the reasons I don't hate Kerry is I can't take him seriously. He's a muppet.

David said...

It's easy to hit a curb on a bike if you are not paying attention or are showing off. Kerry has both traits so it's no surprise.

surfed said...

I dislike the standard European bicycles. I find them uncomfortable and unweildy. Better a geared fat tired American traditional bike - in Florida we refer to them as beach cruisers. In Amsterdam the other year I watched a guy with ipoded with ear plugs reading his phone, smoking a fat spleef while riding a bike. In traffic. And on top of all that it was a shitty Euro bike.

PuertoRicoSpaceport.com said...

Kerry is not the only admin person to make a fool of himself on a bicycle. Here is President Obama riding one with a flat tire.

Also apparently a trailer but that has been (mostly) cropped out in every photo I've ever been able to find.

http://bicycling.about.com/od/thebikelife/ig/Stars-on-bikes/Barak-Obama-on-a-bike.htm

John Henry

David said...

Pedaling on a $3000 bike with a million dollar motorcade disrupting foreign traffic surrounded by bodyguards in shorts.

That the modern American populist movement folks.

David said...

Blogger Bob Boyd said...
When word of Secretary Kerry's accident reached him, Iran's chief negotiator responded, "Allahu Akbar!"


My guess is that the chortling Iranians are amused but at the same time praying for his safe and speedy recovery.

madAsHell said...

He was chasing a parked car, and hit the curb.

madAsHell said...

Why the long face, John?

JSD said...

Bicycle riding is good exercise until its not. Wrecks are inevitable and recovery gets more difficult as the decades go by. I’ve known several people who suffered serious life threatening injuries while riding. The risk outweighs the benefits. We had horses all my life, but gave up riding in my forties. It’s too fucking dangerous. I remember Don Imus bragging about his riding abilities, of course the accompanying video showed that he no idea how to ride. Two weeks later he fell and nearly died of broken collarbone, ribs and punctured lung. You need to give up stuff as you get older, but I haven’t given up on short pants…..yet.

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

Your Sunday Schadenfreude.

Ron said...

He was trying to take a meeting with the Emir of K'urb, but he got stonewalled!

damikesc said...

Man, it'll be sad when he has to be put down.

YoungHegelian said...

Scionzier is in the French Alps, on the French/Swiss border. I'll bet Kerry was going down a hill/mountain way too fast when he hit that curb.

This guy has had two hip replacement surgeries already, so I don't think he's going to have a quick recovery from a broken femur. It's time for Kerry to switch to a low-impact sportin' life.

Anybody want to place bets on this accident pushing him to retire from being Sec. of State?

Big Mike said...

Kerry also doesn't fall while snowboarding. Never.

Fabi said...

His motorcade? Something about carbon footprint...

Terry said...

YoungHegelian wrote:
"Anybody want to place bets on this accident pushing him to retire from being Sec. of State?"
The obvious replacement would be John Edwards.

Michael K said...

"Perhaps Dr. K can speak to this, but my wife the RN w. 40 yrs experience says it's FAR from a non-trivial event."

Yeah, a femur fracture is no joke although the treatment is much better now with IM nails. The Germans invented the Kuntscher Nail. It was invented by Gerhard Kuntscher in 1942. It was only recognized by the allies' surgeons when POWs started coming home with femur fractures that had been better teated in POW camps than by their own army surgeons.

A family friend came home after the war with a bad limp from a poorly treated femur fracture that was from bailing out of his B 17. They weren't all well treated but it was a huge advance in treatment, even in a war.

Kerry is too old to be doing a lot of that stuff, like wind surfing, but he has to get away from Teresa somehow. Death might not seem so bad when living with her is the alternative.

James Pawlak said...

A punishment for treason against civilization?

Terry said...

Isn't leg-breaking the price you pay for missing your monthly contribution to the Clinton Foundation?
Kerry is seventy-one years old. Those Clinton Foundation dudes are heartless. The penalty for missing your collection quota must be harsh.

Curious George said...

"Meade said...
He meant to do that."

Damn you.

YoungHegelian said...

@Terry,

HRC: "So, John, Chelsea tells me you're late on your dues to the Clinton Foundation. Didja forget about the poor, starving children in Haiti, John? Didja? That wasn't very nice, John. Not nice at all..

JK: "I'm sorry, Hillary, Theresa & I have been so busy, what with Iran, & Russia, & ISIS & all, it just slipped our minds."

HRC: "So, when will we be seeing your check, John?"

JK: "I'll get to it, Hill. Really, I will."

HRC: "You know, John, that's a nice athletic set of gams you got there for an old, pasty, white guy like yersself. It'd be a real shame if somethin' were to happen to 'em, wouldn't it?"

J2 said...

I think he meant to go down right about now. He doesn't love the idea of being put forward as the face of this dodgy US foreign policy.

Good timing.

Anonymous said...

The femur is a big bone that takes a lot of force to fracture. Did he fracture his femur or did the hip replacement break off? Can we not even get the truth about something so simple as a bike accident? Post-truth America.

rhhardin said...

I'd have expected them to shoot him.

rcocean said...

The amazing thing about Kerry is that despite being 73, a former US senator, and a war veteran, there's always been something childish or adolescent about him, like he never grew up.

Maybe, its just a boomer trait - but its not just the engaging in sports that he's far too old for. Like McCrazy or Billy Bob Clinton, he never struck me as a serious person.

rcocean said...

"I'd have expected them to shoot him."

I just hope Sarah Jessica Parker breaks her leg.

lemondog said...

Oweee, oweee hurt!

I blame ....Abby!!

AJ Lynch said...

Good ones Terry and Young Hegelaian!

Kerry is a pretentious prick and takes his bike wherever he goes. I guess he does not fly commercial huh. He has always been and will always be an arrogant asshole.

Robother:

I am 62 and still ride a bike but could not reach 35MPH even when I was 30 years younger. The good news is this year I have finally decided to wear a helmet when I zoom about [more like meander] on my bike.

alan markus said...

Meade said...
"He meant to do that."

William said...

He turned his boat towards the fire, and his bike towards the curb. Wherever there is danger, there you will find John Kerry, leading the charge.

alan markus said...

David @ 10:40:Pedaling on a $3000 bike.....

This is what a $3000 bike looks like?

Michael K said...

"The femur is a big bone that takes a lot of force to fracture."

Unless he is on Lupron for prostate cancer. The Democrats are very good at hiding these matters, like Beau Biden's brain tumor.

Lupron causes osteoporosis, all the more reason to give up biking.

I'm not starting a rumor; just speculating.

Terry said...

A slight man, Asian in appearance, wearing what appeared to be black pajamas, was spotted running away from the accident scene, performing what one witness described as a "victory dance."

Rhythm and Balls said...

Hitting a curb? How do you hit something stationary?

Can you reserve judgment until after such time as you provide evidence of having engaged in any form of vigorous physical activity over the last twenty years? Not being familiar with a physical setting in which you're jetting through at 30 mph isn't without its risks. But then, we're talking about places outside of Wisconsin that actually have a number of built-up landforms to be avoided by cyclists every few miles or so.

n.n said...

That's 7 years of bad luck. 7 months if you are healthy.

Danno said...

Too bad Kerry didn't hit that curb with his jaw. The curb would have disintegrated like some stone antiquity blasted to smithereens by ISIS.

chickelit said...

Rhythm and Balls said...

Can you reserve judgment until after such time as you provide evidence of having engaged in any form of vigorous physical activity over the last twenty years?

I guess you missed all the blog posts of Althouse biking or skiing with Meade. I think to his credit, Meade got her outdoors more.

I once fractured an arm bone when my front wheel came off crossing some railroad tracks--it was my own fault because I wasn't familiar with how much tension quick-releases needed. I can say that in 40 or so years of urban biking, I have never hit a curb. It sounds like Kerry may have been distracted or just not looking where he was going. The metaphor speaks for itself as many do.

Anonymous said...

Give him a medal for being injured while in service ...but make him promise not to throw it away in a fit of pique.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Birches said...

I read the headline to my spouse and he said, "Sounds like an another "exercise" accident to me." Made me laugh.

Coupe said...

French curbs are metric in height, so it probably confused him.

Terry said...

That man is constantly being injured while in service to his country!
They should name some big, gangly-looking federal building after him! I wonder if they can find one with a mansard roof.

richard mcenroe said...

There are apparently a limited number of "horse face" jokes concerning John Kerry, and Ace of Spades has gone through most of them. No mention so far of Sarah Jessica Parker, though, which is okay with me because she was really good in "Secretariat"...

Fabi said...

Will he receive a fourth Purple Heart?

CWJ said...

rcocean wrote -

"...there's always been something childish or adolescent about him, like he never grew up.

Maybe, its just a boomer trait"

Yes!

Anonymous said...

Isn't this much worse than any of the injuries he sustained in Viet Nam- that he got all those Purple Hearts for?

Terry said...

Imagine that you are in the sh*t, in some septic cesspool of a riverboat in the estuary of sum dum fuc river. You've got an inspection in two hours, your safety razor blade came out of a GI kit left over from WW2, and it began to rust as soon as you rinsed the cosmoline off it. And now your looking at that giant chin in the reflection of a make shift mirror made from an empty #2 can of kidney beans you pounded flat with the butt of your service .45.
Did Kerry earn those purple hearts? You bet your ass he did.

Drago said...

R&B's: "Can you reserve judgment until after such time as you provide evidence of having engaged in any form of vigorous physical activity over the last twenty years?"

Howzabout right after you submit your OB/GYN credentials and evidence of said practice (re: Sarah Palins uterus).

Though I am willing to concede that you have probably acquired the requisite 2 to 3 hours of National Geographic and/or Discovery Channel offerings.

Drago said...

rightguy2: "Isn't this much worse than any of the injuries he sustained in Viet Nam- that he got all those Purple Hearts for?"

Hard to say, since he doesn't bear even a scratch as evidence of his 3 purple heart awards.

zefal said...

He obviously wasn't wearing his "lucky hat."

Anonymous said...

Drago:
"Hard to say, since he doesn't bear even a scratch as evidence of his 3 purple heart awards."

Surely that embedded rice kernel in his butt left a nasty hypertrophic scar.

Dick Stanley said...

Lurch is probably sitting up in his hospital bed filling out forms to apply for another Purple Heart.

richard mcenroe said...

Dick, nah, this should at least be good for a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Terry said...

I think that we are looking a clever bit of diplomatic ju-jitsu here.
"I'm sorry Ayatollah Rouhani, but as you know Mr. Kerry has had taken a bad fall and cannot be here today to continue negotiations. But he did name a substitute that could act with his authority. I assume you all know . . . DICK CHENEY!!!

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Rhythm & Balls said..Can you reserve judgment until after such time as you provide evidence of having engaged in any form of vigorous physical activity over the last twenty years?
Yeah, R&B is all about reserving judgement until all the evidence is in, you guys. Now, back to convicting Hastert...

Rhythm and Balls said...

Howzabout right after you submit your OB/GYN credentials and evidence of said practice (re: Sarah Palins uterus).

Well, Drago - I'll be willing to bet it's a lot more than what you never learned of any female anatomy or physiology after all those decades of living in your mother's basement. Not that you mind, she was just trying to "protect" you, after all.

Terry said...

Hastert just needs to stand up in court and say "My truth is that I am a gay American."
Not only will the charges be dropped, he'll get a friggin' medal. From Biden. Who will give him a paternal pat on the ass as he leaves the stage.

Terry said...

Secret Service guy: Mr. Kerry! Mr. Kerry! Are you all right? You've taken a fall, sir!
Kerry: What . . . Short Round! Where's Willie? We've got to get the Sankara stones back from the Thugee's if we are going to save the village!
Secret Service guy: You just rest easy . . . Uh . . . Indy. Help is on the way . . .

Doug said...

Where can I get moi a bicycle license?

Rhythm and Balls said...

Yeah, R&B is all about reserving judgement until all the evidence is in, you guys. Now, back to convicting Hastert…

Translation: How dare the public come to a sensible conclusion about the character of someone important to Republican partisanship when there is no trial scheduled to determine his fate! Back to being opinion-less sheeple, you! Republican identity means being judgment proof! No opinions about the party's greatest voices will be tolerated!

Terry said...

My favorite part of the young Kerry's testimony before the Senat Foreign Relations committe is this:

At any time that an actual threat is posed to this country or to the security and freedom I will be one of the first people to pick up a gun and defend it, but right now we are reacting with paranoia at this question of peace and the people taking over the world. I think if were are ever going to get down to the question of dropping those bombs most of us in my generation simply don't want to be alive afterwards because of the kind of world that it would be with mutations and the genetic probabilities of freaks and everything else.

I like that. "One of the first." I wonder if he'd shoot the mutants and freaks?

Terry said...

What do you think that Hastert has done, R&B? Given away his own money instead of someone else's money? You'd never catch a Clinton doing that! Or a Reid! Or a Pelosi! It's the Hallmark of the Democrats, isn't it? No shame, it is what they explicitly run on.

Paul said...

Well Obama has far more than 'drove the car into a ditch'.

He's wrecked it killing tens of thousands, and then wants to drive more.

Rhythm and Balls said...

I don't know, Terry. But his alma mater doesn't seem to care much for it.

But what do they know? They're simply an important institution with actual credibility and a mission at stake. You guys - shameless partisan hacks that you are - don't need to worry about any of that.

Pedophiles and lawbreakers are lucky to have your ranks at their helm, Terry. So burn the law books and schools and bugger the kiddies! There's your Republican Revolution, in full glory! Man, those Jacobins had nothing on guys like you. So principled that even allowing yourself pause at the prospect of paying off those who'd blow the whistle on raping children is too much distraction!

Be proud. And pat your slimy selves on the back. It's not like anyone else will.

Zach said...

Spring cycling in the mountains can be dangerous. A lot of spoil accumulates on the roads during the winter and hasn't been cleared yet. The surfaces can be unpredictable, and if you take a turn too wide you can, indeed, hit a curb.

Cycling is safe in the sense that you can almost always avoid risks if you take them into account ahead of time. But some people who think they are being safe are actually just ignorant of what risks they are running. The analogy to nuclear diplomacy is obvious.

Terry said...

R&B wrote:
"I don't know . . ."
Okay then! Shut up, please!

SeanF said...

How do you hit something stationary?

The police log in our local paper, a few years ago, listed a "single-vehicle accident involving a parked car." I still haven't figured that one out.

Rhythm and Balls said...

No thank you, Stalin.

Unknown said...

Stalin? You and tours shush people all the time. Be real, Ritmo, we like you better that way.