May 14, 2015

Australia threatens to kill Johnny Depp's dogs.

"The penalties for breaching Australia’s biosecurity laws are severe, according to the agriculture minister [agriculture minister Barnaby Joyce]. 'Mr Depp has to either take his dogs back to California or we are going to have to euthanise them. He’s now got about 50 hours left to remove the dogs.'"

Countdown clock at the link.

The agricultural minister actually said: "It’s time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States. He can put them on the same chartered jet he flew out on to fly them back out of our nation."

49 comments:

Original Mike said...

"It’s time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States. He can put them on the same chartered jet he flew out on to fly them back out of our nation."

I like Aussies, even if I don't understand the Vegemite thing.

rhhardin said...

The point of Hawaii's 6 month pet quarantine is to discourage mainlanders from moving there.

The cover is that there's no rabies in Hawaii, or there wasn't when I heard about it decades ago.

Dr.D said...

Maybe they can let the dogs live and euthanize Johnny Depp.

Original Mike said...

I am starting to understand rugby, however. More rugby league than rugby union.

Bob Boyd said...

Why kill the dogs? Its not their fault.
Alternatives:
Quarantine and test the dogs at Depp's expense and fine him.
Or deport the dogs back to the US at Depp's expense and fine him.
Seize the dogs, fine Depp and after a quarantine period, auction the dogs off to raise money for animal shelters. Depp can bid if he wants to, but have somebody there to drive the price up.
Dogs can't "bugger off" on their own.

etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
traditionalguy said...

By now they probably have Australian Kangaroo Fleas and we cannot risk them coming back here.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

A dingo at my baby.

Bob Boyd said...

A dingo buggered off with my baby.

The Drill SGT said...

One set of rules for everybody.

simple, understandable, enforceable

Ann Althouse said...

Link fixed. Thanks.

Bob Ellison said...

I like Bob Boyd's list of suggestions.

If you don't care about the dogs' innocence or other gentle matters, you could consider:

* Water-torture the dogs until they 'fess up on Depp's wardrobe.

* Kidnap Steven Tyler and threaten to shave his head and dress him like Mitt Romney unless Depp picks up the dogs.

* Feed the dogs to crocodiles.

Time for the Australian justice system to get creative!

Known Unknown said...

The best part of the entire story is the subsequent infighting between the varying Australian ministries over how the dogs managed to get into the country.

SteveR said...

Oh the carbon!!

richard mcenroe said...

Australia has already suffered severe ecological damage from invasive species. You would think a Hollywood celebrity would have drunk enough of the gteen Kool-aid by now to know that. Or is it just that once again, they care so much they get exemptions

tim maguire said...

richard, they don't care a whit about any cause beyond making statements written for them by their press agents. How many tons of carbon are spewed to jet Depp and his dogs around the world?

CatherineM said...

Did I miss where it said how long the Quarantine is? In the UK it is 2 years and I think it is cruel. I worked with someone who had a job that transferred him there from Europe and they smuggled in their large dog and 2 cats via a ferry from France. I think as long as you pay for a vet exam upon entry as well as proof of shots all up to date, why the quarantine? I think such barbaric quarantines lead to smuggling.

mccullough said...

Looks like they'll have to swim in from New Zealand

DanTheMan said...

Who do these Aussies think they are, spouting off about who gets to come into their country, how, and with what?
Jeez, they act like they own the place and have some sort of special privilege.
Thank goodness we don't have any of that sort of warped thinking here at our borders!

MadisonMan said...

Rules are for the little people.

kzookitty said...

Spunky Female Reporter: "Barnaby, give him your wallet."
Barnaby Joyce: "What for?"
SFR: "He's got a dog."
Barnaby [chuckling]: "That's not a dog. [drawing dingo from sheath] That's a dog.

kzookitty

etienne said...

Depp's response was, that he bribed the customs inspector fair and square.

tim in vermont said...

I enjoyed Vegemite exactly one time. I was at a McDonald's having breakfast on the road to some park not too far west of Sydney and I ordered an English Muffin, I forget what they called it, slathered it with butter, and took the little bag of Vegemite they offer as a condiment with everything there, and smeared on just enough that it mixed with the melted butter, but didn't overwhelm it, and it was quite delicious.

My understanding was that they put it in babies formula.

The burgers at McDonald's there were horrible. Probably the grass fed beef, but they tasted fishy to me. Yes, you live in a foreign country long enough that you clearly hear your own accent and sometimes you miss a bit of home, a restaurant like the Hard Rock Cafe where they bring you a glass of water as soon as you sit down without you having to beg for it and endure funny looks.

MadisonMan said...

Yes, you live in a foreign country long enough that you clearly hear your own accent

I once was in Greece for a week+ for work, and after a day, with all the indecipherable Greek being spoken around me, I just tuned it out and everything was background noise.

Periodically, my brain would nudge me and the background noise would suddenly resolve itself as English being spoken. It was really interesting because before I realized it was actually English being spoken, I didn't process it.

Jason said...

Johnny Depp can't let his dogs die!

Johnny Depp IS a dog!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNKQ06BBx_8

Barry Dauphin said...

Do they mean dos like the Lone Ranger?

Sertorius said...

"Bugger off" is now so anodyne that a politician can use it in a formal quote for publication?

Anonymous said...

"You'll never take me alive!" barked he.

Original Mike said...

Aussie's like to put an egg on their burger (delicious) and beet root (meh).

Original Mike said...

""Bugger off" is now so anodyne that a politician can use it in a formal quote for publication?"

It's Australia, mate!

Mountain Maven said...

Can we import some Aussies like the Ag Minister to bolster the GOP ranks?

Krumhorn said...

I'm sure the dog meat will not go to waste. There are plenty of Vietnamese restaurants there that would surely be willing buyers. A lot of three-legged dogs in those neighborhoods.

- Krumhorn

Known Unknown said...

Maybe they can let the dogs live and euthanize Johnny Depp.

I just love the casual vitriol for people whom others have never met.

Michael K said...

"Can we import some Aussies like the Ag Minister to bolster the GOP ranks?"

Yes but they have to be whatever they call conservatives there. At least the lefty PM a few years ago was able to take advice about global warming craziness and back off his proposed "green" policy. Then the lefties elected a crazy woman and the Aussies had had enough.

Mary Beth said...

The agriculture minister said no one should be able to bypass biosecurity rules, even if they had been voted the world’s sexiest man twice.

Then what's the point? He wouldn't have gotten my vote, but if he got enough to win twice it seems he should get some special consideration when he breaks the law. Isn't it sexy to be a rule breaker? (I'm joking, except for the not getting my vote part.)

rehajm said...

Australia has already suffered severe ecological damage from invasive species.

Yah, the whole place is destined to go to the cane toads in only a few years time. Makes the Depp Dog thing kinda moot, mate.

Bryan C said...

Tin-plated dictators with delusions of godhood. A country founded on penal colonies really shouldn't get their backs up over two dogs.

rehajm said...

Second thought- see if those puppies will eat cane toad. I'm sure the Aussies would welcome them then.

Lydia said...

We found out he snuck them in because we saw him taking them to a poodle groomer.

So, he was sashaying around Aussieland in the company of poodles. Sheesh. Talk about adding insult to injury.

William said...

Wouldn't it be ironic and haunting if Depp sent the dogs back to his Florida estate and they were eaten by Bermuda pythons.

Bad Lieutenant said...

No, William, true irony would require they be eaten in Florida by imported Australian platypuses, or imported koalas or echidnas or some other deadly Australian animal or plant, which are legion.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

Platypuses and koalas and echidnas wouldn't do it, but a lot of other things would:

http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/topics/wildlife/2013/03/australias-dangerous-animals-the-top-30/

Big Mike said...

Less than 20 hours to go. If Johnny Depp was planning to play chicken with the government of Australia, I suspect Abbott is the wrong opponent.

Smilin' Jack said...

The penalties for breaching Australia’s biosecurity laws are severe, according to the agriculture minister [agriculture minister Barnaby Joyce].

Too bad the aborigines didn't think of biosecurity laws. Might have saved them from the plague of officious Aussie assholes they have now. Must be something about being upside down all the time that makes people soft in the head.

Aussie Pundit said...

The dogs are not going to be put down. The politician who threatened that possibility is not the responsible minister.

He did break the law by smuggling them in, however in this case the law is an ass. The dogs represent no threat to Australian interests. It's quite obvious there is no need to quarantine them.

Aussie Pundit said...

The dogs are on their way back home.

Johnny Depp's dogs leave Australia just hours before deadline

Yorkshire terriers Pistol and Boo depart Queensland for US after they were threatened with death in ultimatum from the Australian government.

It's a good outcome for all concerned, given the situation.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Understood Michelle but always safest to assume that any Aussie wildlife is inexpressibly deadly Australian-see, even Android word prediction sees deadly and adds Australian. Even the cutesy koala leads a more sinister existence as the fell Drop Bear. And as every civilized person knows from reading Patrick O'Brian, the male platypus has a poisonous spur...

The echidna is I believe harmful only to ants and those who would pet it, but it was all that came to mind. Anyway, while a race of convicts is always worth insulting, Australia in fact has a delicate ecology and strict precautions are necessary. They even reject some produce from Japan! Too hygienic for Japan means that shit is real in my book.

tim in vermont said...

Perhaps Mr Depp has never seen the Bart vs. Australia episode, which is a classic.

Aussie Pundit said...

Australia in fact has a delicate ecology and strict precautions are necessary.

This is true to an extent. For example there are a some damaging agricultural diseases (e.g., foot and mouth) that we don't have and want to keep it that way.

On the other hand, the Australian ecology is not in the pre-European state of 1788 any more. There are foxes, rabbits, cats, cane toads, and numerous introduced plants (most of the non-native plants don't compete very well against the locals though).

So while there are definitely reasons for quarantine, I'm personally against the nativist romanticism of having a giant quarantine wall. It's futile.

Also, quarantine can be used as a back-door kind of protectionism, and that goes on a bit too. Not in the case of Johnny Depp's dogs, of course, but in other circumstances.