Althouse: "12 Things Successful People Never Reveal About Themselves at Work."

May 1, 2015

"12 Things Successful People Never Reveal About Themselves at Work."

"Sharing the right aspects of yourself at work is an art form, with dire consequences when you fail."

23 comments:

MadisonMan said...: Things you should reveal at work:

(1) What you think about the weather.

(2) The probability (zero) that you will buy Jameis Wilson gear.

(3) That you bought donuts and they're in the break room.

(4) That coffee is on sale at the Coffee shop across the street.; 5/1/15, 9:50 AM
Etienne said...: In most of the jobs I had, you were in or out within the first couple of weeks.

That means lunch at Hooters, after hours at the sports bar, and invites to meet the wives at home BBQ.

Swimming parties so the wives can see your junk, and you can pet them.

You don't attend, you don't contribute, you're contract doesn't get renewed.

Maybe just a hazard of being a contractor. Different rules for the lower class.

Then you turn 40 and get a real job, and a wife who can cook.; 5/1/15, 9:55 AM
mikee said...: Things that are fun to reveal at work:

That everyone knows at 9:00am the contents of the super-secret management announcement being made at 10:00am. Keeps management in its place.

That your management-decreed priority for parts, labor, time on equipment, is higher than that of the loudmouth who is complaining in the meeting so much. Because loudmouths suck.

That yes, you can fix the horrible problem caused by (fill in either underling or superior), because you saw the problem coming the moment that idiot stepped into the building and prepared backups and recovery plans. Because competence gets rewarded. Especially if that idiot is the one begging for your help.; 5/1/15, 9:59 AM
Bruce Hayden said...: That Inc article was weird. Loaded just fine in Firefox, but choked in IE, but using IE these days, because Firefox is choking on Blogger's robot code.

Nothing that I could disagree with. I do have some experiences with #2, and maybe a corollary, and that is that if you are trying to get your boss fired (or retired), keep in mind that they may not be better at your job than you are, but likely know more, and maybe a lot more, about politicking around your company.

Another one (#12 - Job Hunting). Very bright guy, with a PhD, but no real personality. Had a job with a large company. Told them that he was looking around. They said fine, took his job responsibilities away from him, leaving him with his desk and phone, and a three month window/time limit to find a new job. That was almost 20 years ago, and he has apparently been working as an adjunct and/or lecturer ever since then, rarely doing better than minimum wage. Luckily, his wife, with a similar PhD, already had tenure as a professor.; 5/1/15, 10:00 AM
YoungHegelian said...: Unstated in the article, but assumed, is that the groups are mixed gender. What passes muster in a same-gender group simply just doesn't work in a mixed gender grouping.

I worked for 8 years with five other men doing IT support for the Executive Office. Our discussions knew few bounds (a major rule -- NOTHING but compliments could ever be said about each others wives & children). Politics was an everyday discussion. Religion was in the top five. Matter of fact, the COTR would come up from downstairs to shoot the shit with us all the time because, as he said, "I can come up here & say things and nobody gets their feelings hurt. Downstairs, everybody's walking on eggshells!".

But that was a group of intelligent, nerdy guys. I've done consulting since in environments where people seem to take pride in wearing their sensitivity on their sleeves. They're awful places to work, as the staff soon becomes held hostage to the psychological limits of its weakest member.; 5/1/15, 10:04 AM
Michael K said...: "People's political and religious beliefs are too closely tied to their identities to be discussed without incident at work."

One reason I don't have Firefox is that I deleted after the Brenden Eich fiasco.

It's OK if you are a member of a protected class to talk about it. A friend of mine is an OR supervisor. The lesbian nurses talk about their sex lives constantly. Everyone else is afraid to complain.; 5/1/15, 10:19 AM
RichardJohnson said...: Re job hunting/going to quit. My brother and his wife bought a small business out of state. Because of the parlous state of the housing market, they couldn't sell their house for over a year.

During the year + of trying to sell the house, my sister in law moved to the small business out of state and ran it. My brother flew in on weekends to help out. My brother stayed at his job and at the old house until it was sold.

Some months into this limbo, my brother's boss sent him to a training course. My brother thought this was the appropriate time to inform his employer of his intentions, as his employer might not want to pay for training for someone who could leave at any moment.

His employer didn't consider that a problem, and sent him on to the training course. My brother had been working there for over 20 years, so had developed some trust.

It turned out that not long after my brother sold the house, left his job, and moved out of state to work in the small business he and his wife had purchased, his former employer got purchased by a big corporation. Many of the jobs in his department got shredded in the process.

His moving on from employee to entrepreneur was good timing.; 5/1/15, 10:33 AM
rcocean said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/1/15, 10:39 AM
rcocean said...: Meh. Simply depends on your co-workers and boss. As someone else stated, I've working in an almost all male environment and arguing about sports and politics was an everyday occurrence enjoyed by all.

Once more women joined the firm, that stopped.; 5/1/15, 10:40 AM
rcocean said...: However, we didn't talk about our sex lives or religion except on the most superficial level - because no one wanted to hear about it.; 5/1/15, 10:42 AM
Kenneth Burns said...: "It's too difficult to try to censor yourself on Facebook."

It's not that difficult.; 5/1/15, 11:18 AM
Scott said...: If you're on a job for a little while, your relationship with your co-workers gets friendlier. Eventually the conversation gets around to family -- "Me and my wife have been married for 20 years, I have a daughter in college at Carleton, ..." etc. For me, that's problematic, because I'm gay. And in spite of laws and good corporate intentions, being gay is career limiting.

So what do I do? When I was younger, I would fake having a girlfriend. But now I'm just past middle age, and integrity means a lot more to me. I've embraced the notion that I'll never be promoted into management. So when the question comes around about my family, I just say that I've had a domestic partner for eight years.

And then they say "Oh." and change the subject. And then I never get asked to go to lunch again.; 5/1/15, 11:57 AM
Todd said...: Scott said...

And then they say "Oh." and change the subject. And then I never get asked to go to lunch again.

5/1/15, 11:57 AM

Shame that and sorry that you still have to put up with crap like that. Honestly, I have not observed much at all in the way of social ostracization due to issues not related to the specific individual being "a dick". I understand that words are small comfort when you live in that reality but anyone that uses that to be a "deal breaker" to a friendship or simple comradery is someone you don't need in your life.; 5/1/15, 12:08 PM
Etienne said...: Not funny ha ha, but funny queer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALnDV8HsaXk

I love potted meat.; 5/1/15, 12:25 PM
Scott said...: "...anyone that uses that to be a "deal breaker" to a friendship or simple comradery is someone you don't need in your life."

Well apparently there are a whole bunch of people I don't need in my life.; 5/1/15, 12:56 PM
LTMG said...: In addition to taking extreme steps to ensure I never reveal that I'm in a job search, I never talk about what I own or how I'm spending my money. Years ago I was working in Ireland. The GM was once discussing with the controller his investments. The GM was doing this within earshot of young professionals and a couple of production people. At that time, net of taxes, lower and some middle income Irish people had a tough time providing their families with the basics. They can't have felt good hearing what the expat GM had to say about his financial position.; 5/1/15, 1:09 PM
YoungHegelian said...: @Scott,

If you don't mind me asking, where do you live where people ostracize you at work for being gay?

If that's the only reason to it, well, that's shameful, and I'm sorry you have to suffer that.

Being courteous & friendly to one's co-workers doesn't require that you assent to their politics, religion, or "life-style choices". I've just got to work with them, not marry them. If a gay co-worker stuck his head in the door & said "hey, there's a new Indian restaurant around the corner. You want to go?" I'd certainly say yes, just like I would for any co-worker of any size, shape, gender, or color.; 5/1/15, 1:28 PM
Scott said...: "If you don't mind me asking, where do you live where people ostracize you at work for being gay?"

New York City. Securities industry.

Although "ostracize" might be technically accurate, it conveys an intensity that isn't quite there. Straight men are really not comfortable hanging out with gay men, and it militates against a gay man getting promoted, all other things being equal.; 5/1/15, 3:02 PM
RonF said...: Where I work, if I didn't do #'s 1, 2, 10 and 12 I'd stick out like a sore thumb. And #4 would require a lot of people to take down signs in their offices.; 5/1/15, 3:06 PM
SteveR said...: This is really just common sense, so I suppose it needs to be said. 'sigh'; 5/1/15, 3:13 PM
Bruce Hayden said...: Interesting thoughts here in relation to the Ann's subsequent post on guns. Should you talk about guns at work? At first glance, you would think not. But, in the last 15-20 years, I have been employed places where interest in guns only advances your career. Unless you were the female attorney I worked with in NV who was never asked to go shooting with the guys - despite having shot competitively in college. What you definitely do not want to do, in much of Red America, is get on your anti-gun high horse. You esp. don't want to do that if some of the people you are talking with have concealed carry permits - not that they would ever pull out their carry weapon, but rather, it is something that they believe in.; 5/1/15, 3:30 PM
sean said...: I agree with the other commentators--you can discuss religion or politics in an all male group. Maybe it has to be an all white group too, actually.; 5/1/15, 6:36 PM
Static Ping said...: I suspect that your favorite techniques for pooping in the hall are definitely out of bounds.; 5/1/15, 9:41 PM