March 4, 2015

"I don't mind my parents searching for a groom. This is very common in India."

"But I want the right details to be given. It's fine as long as people know who you really are.... So I told them they've got the basic stuff wrong and that I would take the profile down and post who I really am...."
Posted by Ann Althouse at 6:41 AM
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4 comments:

pm317 said...

LOL, you go girl! One friend made an astute comment about marriage and Indian women a few years ago and it very much applies to this woman and horde of other young women in India who have tasted independence, financial independence -- 'these women are looking for equal partners and men are still looking for wives.' Good luck to her and it is not impossible; I found my partner 28 years ago, a keeper.

3/4/15, 8:39 AM
jr565 said...

I'd be surprised if she finds a man willing to put up with her eccentricities for long as she seems a bit too independent to be shacked down in a relationship,that requires commitment and compromise.
But at least she's honest about herself.

3/4/15, 9:47 AM
Rohan said...

As an Canadian man of Indian descent currently going though this process, it is very weird.

The ads are really written by parents for other parents. It seems much harder to truly grasp the personality of the individual than in western dating ads.

As well, western ads seem to emphasize individuality: "This is how I am unique/special". While Indian ads tend to a curious sameness. I can never tell if it's because all the women actually share similar tastes in everything, or if the parents are simply eliding over the "unusual" aspects. Anything that might actually point to a personality difference and cause a rejection.

But as a result, I find it very hard to actually tell anything from an Indian dating ad. You're sort of resorting to "reading tea leaves" in the very minor differences between one ad and another.

3/4/15, 11:36 AM
Rich Rostrom said...

I used to work with a lot of Indian IT guys. One of them was going to India to visit family and we joked that he was going to come back married.

Which he did, to a very nice girl.

He talked about it some. The way it works now, the parents set up the meets, but the kids decide. He liked this girl, she's pretty and she can cook. (They had me over for dinner one night, so yes, she definitely can cook.)

There's something to be said for this sort of arrangement. Nobody's forced into anything, but the older generation (who do have some experience) get some input. Better than youngsters tying themselves up over a youthful infatuation.

3/4/15, 9:08 PM

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