Althouse: "Midlife crisis begins sometime in your 40s, when you look at your life and think, Is this all?"

January 5, 2015

"Midlife crisis begins sometime in your 40s, when you look at your life and think, Is this all?"

"And it ends about 10 years later, when you look at your life again and think, Actually, this is pretty good."

28 comments:

madAsHell said...: I don't know if I ever had a mid-life crisis, but I am at that point in life where......How in the hell did all these good things land on my table??

Knock on wood!!; 1/5/15, 5:11 PM
Michael K said...: I tend to agree with him. My first wife was determined to have her suburban life with her college friends while I was frustrated at an early end to my training and career choices. At 40, we were divorced. That was 36 years ago and, while we are friends, I have never forgotten the frustration.; 1/5/15, 5:16 PM
The Godfather said...: "The cards are on the table, with no ace left in the hole. I'm much too young to feel this damn old."

I am not a robot.; 1/5/15, 5:34 PM
The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...: I was raising two small boys in my '40's. No time for a mid-life crisis.; 1/5/15, 5:38 PM
CStanley said...: I'm turning 50 and it is the first time I'm feeling any melancholy about age. It feels like a necessary grieving for the open ended dreams of youth.

I'm sure I'll get over it (and I'm not wallowing in self pity) but it Is harder than I expected it to be. I don't think this state is a good one for making any life changing decisions, and thankfully I'm not feeling forced to do so.; 1/5/15, 5:39 PM
SGT Ted said...: I'm not having a mid-life crisis because I don't have those feeling of entitlement that lead one to think "Is that all?" about life.; 1/5/15, 5:59 PM
Patrick said...: As I near 50, I am grateful that I've avoided any such crisis. Life hasn't always been easy, but is been good enough that I am happy worth what I've got.; 1/5/15, 6:36 PM
Known Unknown said...: In the middle of one as I comment on a blog and think "is this all?"; 1/5/15, 6:54 PM
LYNNDH said...: So now we know what ails Obama. It is his midlife crisis that is screwing up the country and the world.; 1/5/15, 7:16 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: If I think it, then I'm not dead, and I'm lucky enough to have been born in the greatest country the world has yet known. Why have a crisis?; 1/5/15, 7:23 PM
Tari said...: I'm half way through my 40s and I haven't gotten near the point of wondering "is this all?" Maybe I'm just slow to mature, and I'll get there in my 50s. Right now I'm much more likely to think "please no more right now - there's so much going on!" which to me is much more preferable.; 1/5/15, 7:32 PM
Anonymous said...: I found this article to be very insightful and, as a 41yo going through some of those same feelings, kind of a relief.; 1/5/15, 7:44 PM
traditionalguy said...: Are we talking about Prince Andrew?; 1/5/15, 8:27 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: Re: ""And it ends about 10 years later, when you look at your life again and think, Actually, this is pretty good."

This makes sense if you can retire before sixty and not worry about financing you retirement.

Thus: "When you are rich or a government employee, it ends about 10 years later, when you look at your life again and think, Actually, this is pretty good."

If you are in the private sector your fifties means twenty years to go and how DOES cat food taste?

I am Laslo.; 1/5/15, 8:49 PM
n.n said...: A luxury enjoyed by the entitled few. Hopefully, it does not begin or end with a dead breadwinner.; 1/5/15, 9:01 PM
Skeptical Voter said...: My gosh I was happy from say 35 to 50. I had interesting legal work; I had problems to solve and things to get done. If you take a craftsman's view of work, the chance to do what you like to do with minimal interference from others (I was house counsel--high enough in the organization to be handed interesting work, low enough that I didn't have to manage a big bunch of other lawyers) is living in tall cotton indeed.

And now I'm in my early 70's and all that's behind me--and I'm still happy. Other challenges and other tasks came along.; 1/5/15, 10:08 PM
Anonymous said...: I waded onto this a year ago. My legal work is boring and meaningless. My kids are great, my marriage is over but I got 16 years before I can divorce. I don't want a girlfriend. I miss my friends. I am sick of constant toil. I read this when it came out and I will get over it. But life kinda sucks right now.; 1/6/15, 4:56 AM
Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of New York said...: Getting paid by the word must be nice. This guy could use an editor and fewer anecdotes about how fabulous his friends are, and how perfectly they illustrate his point.; 1/6/15, 6:09 AM
JSD said...: It happens when life becomes more about probabilities and less about possibilities.; 1/6/15, 6:56 AM
JSD said...: True Detective had a great line "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at,”

In your teens, you could be very good at anything you tried. At 50, not so much. Hopefully, you’re good enough at one thing that you can get paid to do it. Be grateful if that is true.; 1/6/15, 7:23 AM
kjbe said...: Retuning your POV to gratitude and acceptance (if you haven't been lucky enough to have been doing this all along) is key.; 1/6/15, 8:32 AM
mccullough said...: I had my mid life crisis in my early 20s. So the collateral damage was minimal.; 1/6/15, 8:42 AM
Fernandinande said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/6/15, 8:57 AM
Fernandinande said...: HAVE YOU Figured out what you're going to do with your LIFE yet?

Well, if you're still in your early twenties, you're probably okay, but if you've already kissed thirty goodbye you'd better get down to business. And this isn't about "financial security" or anything dumb like that. We're talking meaning here. Like doing something that doesn't leave you empty and weak, or used, or wasted. Like the feeling you used to get on Saturday morning when you were about twelve. Look back on any event that happened yesterday, anything small, like something you said, or did, and now imagine yourself fifty years from now, remembering that same event. If makes you feel sick, doesn't it? You bet it does. You've got just the same amount of time to "figure it out" as everyone else did, so you better get cracking. Think of how much is shot already. It's no joke. Also send for our catalog of new Motor-Driven Woodcraft Tools.

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Fake advert found on Usenet years ago.; 1/6/15, 9:01 AM
Larry J said...: LYNNDH said...
So now we know what ails Obama. It is his midlife crisis that is screwing up the country and the world.

I have to disagree. Obama's problems stem from his delusions of adequacy and competence.; 1/6/15, 12:13 PM
Anthony said...: I'm not sure if I had a MLC or not. I went through many of the same things from about 40-50+ as the author described, but I kind of think my experiences were a result of underlying anxiety and finally getting my PhD at the start of it. I learned that anxiety tends to lead people to engage in intense esoteric activities like hoarding or getting a PhD in archaeology or whatever, and when that was gone I started downhill, not having a Big Goal to occupy myself. It definitely affected my career.

I've started to come out of it, but it's been a very deliberate process, not exactly just a "happening".

But I wonder. My dad went through this whole worrying-about-everything, interrupting his sleep, etc. I still wake up in the middle of the night with intense worry about big and small things. And a lot of other men I've talked to experienced the same thing. Anxiety? MLC? I dunno.

Happily, however, I already had an old muscle car and didn't feel the need to dump my Spousal Unit for a hot young filly.; 1/6/15, 2:30 PM
Anthony said...: My mid life crisis was basically me going to get a job in London. My wife and I always talked about living overseas for a while, but she was a bit concerned when I actually wanted to take the job, The conversation went like this.

Me: Maybe this is just my midlife crisis.

Wife: What do you mean?

Me: It is either this or I can go chase after 20 year old girls.

Wife: What would a 20 year old girl want with you?

Me: Exactly, which is why we need to move to London.; 1/6/15, 3:57 PM
CStanley said...: I find it interesting that some readers seem to consider the MLC mindset as a weakness- perhaps related to the way it was framed in the article, "Is this all there is?"

That question does point toward an attitude of ingratitude and/or entitlement. To me, though, it has been more like, "Is this all I have done with the gifts that have been entrusted in me?" I feel as though it's a time to examine whether or not I've used my time and talents wisely, and make some adjustments accordingly.; 1/6/15, 4:24 PM