Top-rated comment on the WaPo story: "What happens when your friend’s smartphone can tell that you’re lying."
That reminds me of a question I've been meaning to ask: Have you been using "There should be an app for this" as a comic observation? If so, explain the context.
ADDED: Or just lie and make up a context for which "There should be an app for this" is the punchline. We won't know the difference. Not without our lie-detecting app.
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17 comments:
Well one thing I'm sure of, it will mean a lot less casual sex, given the lies told by both genders in the pursuit of a hook-up. (e.g., Don't worry, I'm on the pill. Don't worry, I don't have xxx. No, I'm not seeing anyone at this time. I'm divorced. Of course I'll respect you in the morning. That was a great orgasm, couldn't you tell?, etc, etc)
No.
But every time a political ad comes on television, I say to myself, "There should be a nap for this."
Is there an Althouse app?
There should be.
Program me! More Apps and more Apps and more Apps until I contain all of the soft wear on the earth.
King Solomon when he wrote Ecclesiastes had tried that too.
This app, along with a recording capability, is what will be needed to ensure males on college campuses everywhere obtain the appropriate New Victorian Era/feminist degree of approval for each and every step along the pathway of "love".
If your friend is checking what you say for lies by using a smartphone app, they weren't a friend to begin with.
A man walks into a bar with a spoon lodged firmly in his ear.
The bartender asks "What'll it be?"
The man with the spoon in his ear answers "a Martini."
The bartender replies "That's it?"
The man with the spoon in his ear asks "What do you mean? You asked and I ordered."
The bartender says: You have a spoon in your ear."
The man with the spoon in his ear answers "So?"
"Look, I've been a bartender for thirty years: I've seen a priest with a minister and a rabbi, a man with a parrot on his shoulder, a man with a frog on his head, a horse with a long face, two cannibals with a clown, a pirate, a chicken, a duck, a grasshopper, three vampires and a dyslexic -- I've seen them all, and the thing they all have in common is a punch-line."
The man with the spoon in his ear answers "What does that have to do with me?"
The bartender says "You quite obviously have a spoon in your ear: what is the punch-line?
The man with the spoon in his ear says "I don't have one."
"Really? There is ALWAYS a punch-line."
"Sorry, I just want a Martini."
The bartender says "Martini, huh? Let me guess: the spoon has something to do with a 'shaken, not stirred joke, am I right?"
The man with the spoon in his ear replies. "There is no punch-line, none: can I just get my drink, please?"
The bartender says "Maybe there should be an app for this>"
"Huh?"
"You know, an app: you give it the set-up to a joke and it provides the proper punch-line."
"That's not a bad idea," interjects a guy down at the corner of the bar. He is drinking a Bloody Mary, and is obviously very well drunk. He also has a spoon in his ear, along with a butter knife in his nose.
The bartender says to him, "You: you've been drinking here all morning with a spoon in your ear AND a butter knife in your nose and you still haven't told me YOUR story."
So the drunk with the spoon in his ear and the butter knife in his nose says "That'll have to be another time: stick a fork in me, I'm done."
"Really?" the bartender says. "All this set-up and THAT was the punch-line?"
At this point a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into the bar.
"Here we go," says the bartender. "What brings you men here?"
The Minister says "I have an app on my phone that finds the nearest restaurants and bars."
The Priest says "Well, I have an app on my phone that finds the bars that pour the strongest drinks."
The bartender say, "That's all good, but what about you?" He asks the Rabbi.
So the rabbi says "I have an app on my phone that answers questions about the Holocaust."
At this point the Nazi at the other end of the bar stands up in full uniform and exclaims "I have that app, too!"
The rabbi replies "Really? You, a Nazi, have an app about the Holocaust?"
"Yes, I do," the Nazi replies, then he says "but I have a Heil of a time getting it to work."
Drago, male freshmen need a class on how to spot needy delusional feminists and steer clear of them.
I don't need an app, I just look at the publisher.
I can already imagine how it works. Word pattern recognition for lies.
"Let me be perfectly clear..,."
"As I have previously said…"
"Truthfully…"
"Well, to tell you the truth,… "
"As I was telling Michelle the other day…"
An app that tells me before I start reading a long joke whether it will be funny.
steve uhr said...
An app that tells me before I start reading a long joke whether it will be funny
You didn't think that was funny?
It was classic betamax.
I'm fairly new here. Seems like an acquired taste.
Betamax3000 needs a rest. His mind is short a place setting.
Er, Uhr...Betamax's comments are performance art. He used to test them out first at night. But now they are tried anytime. 97% of his comments are hilarious, which makes us jealous.
Coworker: "I sometimes want to make it at least semi-big by inventing the next hot mobile app, but I can never think up any ideas that haven't been done two or three times already."
Me: "There should be an app for that."
Classic BetaMax. Should there be an app for that?
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