September 12, 2014
"With Sam I wanted to be the fun girl, the one who didn’t care if a guy ever spoke to her again after one night."
Nice foreshadowing, early on in one of those NYT "Modern Love" essays. Later: "... I was able to get beyond my fake fun-girl persona."
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21 comments:
I realized it was my first real date, ever.
I don't have to go home with my panties in my purse??
Penthouse ran this schtick years ago, but it was written for men. Now, it's written for women in the New York Times. How long before the NYT goes the way of Penthouse?
--Name and address withheld by request
This is from Guccione's wiki page:
Guccione gave Anna Wintour her first job as a fashion editor at his magazine Viva.
Somehow, I'm not surprised.
Sounds like these 20 somethings have to have a complete life plan before they can act on relationships. Otherwise they are ambivalent since nothing is certain.
But at last she made the move and he sort of went along with it. She was desperate enough to say come love me...and that announced desperation was as good as having a plan.
This lady is pretty desperate to be in print. She will no doubt be thrilled when her children read this.
We all have pasts, fun girl. Yours in no big fucking deal.
People grow up. Sometimes.
I took the meaning to be: Girls only think they just wanna have fun. Fun is actually a denial of female sexuality, in a misguided effort to imitate male sexuality. And in the end it denies male sexuality too, because Sam needed and truly wanted access into the deeper, un-fun ways of the woman.
And that's why marriage is between one man and one woman.
For most people.
And not because of the government, but because of how we, most of us, really feel.
I don't see where Sam needed or wanted access to anything. I think Sharon did whatever it took to meet her own desires. Like Glenn Close.
"We did whatever it took to make it work, until the distance between us closed.
And here we are, still doing it, 10 years, one wedding and one child later.
Sharon Goott Nissim is a lawyer in Chicago."
Sam is living in Des Moines.
Meaning!?!?
I took it to be a complete fabrication. It's the NYT pandering to the women in the 50-shades-of-grey crowd. It's the ya-gotta-kiss-a-lot-frogs-to-find-a-prince story with extra lurid details of her fictionalized sex life.
Even I could write this kind of tripe, but it would be REALLY cool if Betamax would write it.
that's deeply sad
Free spirit. It only ever works for a minority.
marriage is between one man and one woman
..
because of how we, most of us, really feel
Deja vu. It's not just a "feeling". There is an objective basis for that particular arrangement. Sure, there has been technological and moral progress, but the stability of the experiments have yet to be demonstrated.
That poor guy.
I think a lot of us were in deep denial about our sexual destiny. There was no rational reason to get married and have children, you see. All the reasons given are selfish. And selfish is bad.
His and Her Diary
Her Diary
Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent.
Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
His Diary
Today the Packers lost, but at least I got laid.
"Pride and Prejudice" a few centuries later. Guys do have feelings and he couldn't commit until he was sure she felt the same way. Let's call him "Bingley".
I agree with Ann's interpretation. Monogamy is in our souls because it's in our bodies - it's the way to even out the fundamental gender disparities of life. It's at least partly instinctual. For women, we want the commitment. For men, they need the loyalty, they need the assurance, they need to know that the woman really needs them - that they are just not a piece of the furniture in her life.
Didn't this girl's mother ever sit her down and talk with her about the real facts of life?
Eddie - there's a lot of truth to that once the relationship is established. Not so much when the big decision about making a go of it is pending.
"I wanted to be the fun girl"
BWAAA-AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Fun is a terribly confusing concept in America.
It causes a lot of pain.
You have to feel your actual feelings, and set your mind in that direction. If you use your mind to try to figure out what you should want and set your body to get and take that, in the end, you mind will hurt. I wish I understood this when I was young, and it was very hard to adjust to this truth later in life. I wish I could tell it to young people, to young women, but I'm too old, and I fear it's wisdom that can only be arrived at now by painful experience. The alternative is too much like prudery.
White Girl Wasted
" I wish I could tell it to young people, to young women, but I'm too old, and I fear it's wisdom that can only be arrived at now by painful experience."
This is one of the saddest parts about getting older. We can make our children materially better off, but we can't make them wiser.
Of course, it is just a Joke when people say that the Women's movement was designed by and for horny teenage boys, everybody else be damned.
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