Althouse: "I really think men... have the body, so they want to feel good about what they're wearing and step out of the mold of long shorts."

May 15, 2014

"I really think men... have the body, so they want to feel good about what they're wearing and step out of the mold of long shorts."

"Men are more aware in social media of what other brands are showing and look for comfort and cut of the shorts they are buying. I feel like consumers now are much more open to change and taking risks than ever before."/"You will absolutely see them cleaned up and going for a shorter short, but it depends on who the guy is, who his friends are, where he’s going, what the pattern is."/"I don’t think that there is an age limit as to who can wear the 5-inch short... I think this looks great on guys who work out or [have a] trim runner's build."

You know, if you take my advice, guys, and just don't wear shorts, you won't fall prey to the lure of the 5-inch short.

61 comments:

rhhardin said...: 5-inch shorts is what I wear the year around, plus sweat pants if it's below 40 (sunny) or 50 (cloudy) degrees for daily bike commuting.

Trail shorts. I have a closet full, bought on sale for $12.99, a price that I think will not return.

Bike riders have great legs, though.; 5/15/14, 11:30 AM
ngtrains said...: Another reason to spend time biking every day.; 5/15/14, 11:30 AM
Lucien said...: Not just the shorts, but those sandals. They just make you want to jump up and shout "I am Spartacus".

Can't wait for Titus to post.; 5/15/14, 11:33 AM
Diamondhead said...: Also don't wear 5 inch shorts if you are susceptible to the odd walking-around erection.; 5/15/14, 11:52 AM
Henry said...: My advice is don't wear five inch shorts unless they are purple with gold trim. Hey look, there's Larry Bird.; 5/15/14, 11:56 AM
Titus said...: Bonobo's are going to be white hot this summer-they are everywhere on the streets. I saw like tons of them on my fab walk to work today.; 5/15/14, 11:59 AM
Mark said...: Short shorts aren't about being comfortable in the weather and context, they are about showing legs. Beyond a very small age range and certain body type, I don't think either gender looks that great in shorter shorts.

As someone who swims most summer days and spends the rest of the days on a boat - pants are quite impractical around water. Anything around the knee allows my lower legs to get splashed as they often do [likely can double as swim trunks too].

I really do not get this obsession with what other people put on their legs.; 5/15/14, 11:59 AM
Trashhauler said...: It's all about being gay. Or being comfortable about seeming gay. Or paying homage to gayness. Or something. If I go any further, I'll risk being accused of homophobia. Or something.

Shorts that small look better with shaven legs. Just ask Daisy Duke.; 5/15/14, 12:02 PM
Mary Beth said...: Short shorts on men makes me think of Wham.; 5/15/14, 12:10 PM
MadisonMan said...: I agree that only a small subset of men have the legs worthy of display in short shorts.

In my case, I once did. Now my veins are all weird. Who wants to see that?

I will wear short shorts while paddle boarding (not sure if they are 5-inch inseams though -- who really measures?) I can claim one of the Althouse exemptions for that, however.; 5/15/14, 12:23 PM
sean said...: Of course, if you are my age, and cheap, you have several pairs of short shorts from 30 years ago. Alas, they may be a little tight in the midsection by now. Still, if there are going to be short bathing suits in the stores this spring, I'll buy enough to last me till the end.; 5/15/14, 12:26 PM
Ann Althouse said...: You're my blogger lady, I'm your fool
It makes me crazy, you're neutrally cruel
Come on, baby, let's not fight
I won't wear shorts, everything will be all right…; 5/15/14, 12:27 PM
blogtom said...: I admit to a blog-crush for A and M but must take issue with your view on men's shorts - When one gets old enough, or confident enough, shorts are superior to long pants. Perhaps living is WI is different than the hot weather here in the deep South - less covering is survival. As to manliness, recall the British Africa core pushed Gen. Rommell across the continent dressed in shorts - none can doubt their manhood.
Keep up the good work, and the dog pics are great - Go M...; 5/15/14, 12:30 PM
Unknown said...: I've been curious about AA's shorts phobic eccentricity since first reading her thoughts a couple of years ago. I still don't get it. About all I can definitely tell is that she thinks it looks juvenile. I prefer shorts in hot weather and have since I was a juvenile. Give me comfort. Keep Althouse - at least during summer.; 5/15/14, 12:38 PM
Unknown said...: I've been curious about AA's shorts phobic eccentricity since first reading her thoughts a couple of years ago. I still don't get it. About all I can definitely tell is that she thinks it looks juvenile. I prefer shorts in hot weather and have since I was a juvenile. Give me comfort. Keep Althouse - at least during summer.; 5/15/14, 12:38 PM
Rockport Conservative said...: I had an uncle, a good looking well built guy till the day he died, who always wore polyester short shorts in the summertime. Needless to say his nieces were appalled. But he really was a good guy who took care of his Alzheimer wife until his cancer got so bad he couldn't do it any longer. He just liked being comfortable, it had nothing to do with fashion. He lived in Houston, Houston is hot and humid. Comfort rules.; 5/15/14, 12:39 PM
Unknown said...: LOL, i think those shorts look pretty hot. to each her own i guess.; 5/15/14, 12:42 PM
President-Mom-Jeans said...: Nobody knows current style and what young men should be wearing more than women in their 60's who live in Wisconsin.; 5/15/14, 12:45 PM
Moose said...: You can feel free to try those out first, Ann...; 5/15/14, 12:53 PM
B said...: Guys that work out or have a trim runner's build? Wow, that's basically all guys! What a versatile style.; 5/15/14, 1:03 PM
Tom said...: It's been over 25 years, but at last I can again break out those OP corduroy Magnum PI specials; 5/15/14, 1:20 PM
Will Cate said...: Nothing new... Bob Weir, of Grateful Dead fame, would wear incredibly short-shorts back in the 80s when the band would play a hot, outdoor summer show. Example here.; 5/15/14, 1:25 PM
Larry J said...: tace Chilke said...
I've been curious about AA's shorts phobic eccentricity since first reading her thoughts a couple of years ago. I still don't get it. About all I can definitely tell is that she thinks it looks juvenile. I prefer shorts in hot weather and have since I was a juvenile. Give me comfort. Keep Althouse - at least during summer.

She has this deranged notion that men wear shorts to look young. Many women are used to wearing all sorts of uncomfortable clothing (especially shoes). They seem more interested in impressing others - especially other women - than comfort. The idea that men dress for comfort and don't give a damn about what other people think is something she can't grasp.; 5/15/14, 1:27 PM
mccullough said...: Where is the 5 inches measured from?; 5/15/14, 1:28 PM
southcentralpa said...: Don't be Lieutenant Dangle. A word to the wise is sufficient.; 5/15/14, 1:36 PM
Anonymous said...: I love these shorts but a word of caution. Always wear jockey briefs or the like or if wearing boxers be very careful about what you are exposing when seated.; 5/15/14, 1:40 PM
Heartless Aztec said...: I laugh at the 5" shorts. Back in the day (1970's) surfers were wearing OP (Ocean Pacific) cord shorts. These barely covered the package much less the two attendants. Mine were in muted tropical lime green. I still have them and can get into them (!). I threaten my grown daughter with wearing them along with one of my '70's airbrushed surf shirts. She is always aghast at the suggestion and begs me not to. I'm of a mind to photograph myself in the ensemble and email it to you out of spite and humour at your unremitted hostility to shorts on men. That said my board cords were way more happening that these cargo things men where today. Just ask all the spunky 70's surf chicks who were digging the collected view of me and my surf bro's.; 5/15/14, 1:54 PM
Julie C said...: I lived in a very hot African country for two years. I mean wake up first thing in the morning sweating kind of hot. Humidity that could cause all sorts of weird stuff to happen to everything around you (rapid encroachment of the jungle, buildings that seemed to rot before your eyes, etc.).

Men did not wear shorts. They wore pants, unless they were laborers of some sort, and even then, that was for a specific amount of time. After that, they would take a bath and change into long pants. Women most definitely did not wear shorts!

We were told when we came into the country (by our Peace Corps handlers) that if you wore shorts (as a man) you would be referred to as a "small boy". Shorts-wearing women would be referred to as prostitutes, but that's another story.

Here in California men wear shorts to dinner at nice restaurants. Small boys!; 5/15/14, 1:54 PM
Clayton Hennesey said...: What North Korean fashion labor camp do people live in that they give a flying fuck what a guy looks like in shorts? If I even thought someone was evaluating me, I'd drop them, bend over, and have a nice chat with them like Ace Ventura.; 5/15/14, 1:59 PM
Clayton Hennesey said...: Is this Meade's secret doom, having to worry about this?; 5/15/14, 2:00 PM
Anonymous said...: The top middle is okay. I grew up on the beach and at the time, the longer the shorts (often below knee length), the cooler and more authentically surfer the guy, so I suppose I still have a preference for them at a longer length outside of relevant sports activities. It took university and beyond to get me used to pale guys in any length shorts, but I finally adjusted to the longer cargos. Still prefer flip flops to birkenstocks, trainers, or buckled water sandals.

Probably outdated, but I assume any super short short guy is Euro or gay, but really, I wouldn't expect that a guy outside of my immediate relationships should care how I feel on the subject. I'm hoping the over 35 crowd wouldn't be tempted anyway.

I recently had to explain _at length_ to my niece why it would be a bad thing to try and dress her uncle in skinny emo/skater jeans, even though he's super thin.; 5/15/14, 2:15 PM
SteveBrooklineMA said...: A bit short for me. Just above the knee is best. I recommend

http://www.amazon.com/Dockers-Perfect-Short-Classic-British/dp/B009CTUBEU/

They look great and have a nice phone pocket.; 5/15/14, 2:16 PM
Heartless Aztec said...: Addendum - Out scalloped leg Quicksilver '70's surf trunks were just as short and it was required that they be worn commando style while surfing. They were as short as the OP's and the game was always to position yourself higher up on your surf mobile (ostensibly to check the incoming waves) and be positioned so that the macramé bikini surf babes could gain complete view of the wares. They were always appreciative as girls do like to shop...; 5/15/14, 2:27 PM
Clayton Hennesey said...: Where is the 5 inches measured from?

The inseam.

http://tiny.cc/no1wfx

Put your favorite snubby or compact in the deep front slash pocket and you're good to go.; 5/15/14, 2:31 PM
Bob R said...: I'm actually surprised that the hemlines haven't gone up sooner - particularly for athletes. In the 60's and 70's, when I was a boy and wore shorts, this was the standard length, or maybe a bit long. With all of celebrities doing workouts designed to make them look pretty (but not be particularly strong) I'd expect them to show more skin.; 5/15/14, 2:35 PM
John Scott said...: I'm 56. Not only do I wear shorts in the city, I sometimes compliment them with a nice Fruit of the Loom tank top. But as much as I used to love watching John Stockton play basketball I think I'll pass on that look.

Speaking of shorts and sports, Greg Norman once said that allowing men on the PGA tour to where them was just a matter of fairness considering that they are worn on the women's tour. "Besides," he said, "We have better legs."; 5/15/14, 3:13 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "She has this deranged notion that men wear shorts to look young."

No. I have the true notion that men in shorts look like children and are thereby deprived of sexiness from the point of view of the female.

I have some exceptions: Some men have bodies and ways of wearing shorts that do make them look adult and manly. I have occasionally posted pictures on this blog of examples of me who fit this exception.

Click the "men in shorts" tag to see details on my opinion here.

Somewhere there's an excerpt from Tom Wolfe's "I Am Charlotte Simmons" that makes the point vividly.; 5/15/14, 3:17 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Many women are used to wearing all sorts of uncomfortable clothing (especially shoes). They seem more interested in impressing others - especially other women - than comfort. The idea that men dress for comfort and don't give a damn about what other people think is something she can't grasp."

Oh, bullshit. Go back and read the old posts. You have this assbackwards, but maybe you don't notice because your pants are so baggy.

Obviously, I know men wear shorts in part out of a feeling that they are comfortable.

Same reason some women wear big sweatpants, which men sometimes complain about, right?

You can wear what you want, but I'm providing some feedback I think you need.; 5/15/14, 3:19 PM
Æthelflæd said...: My guy looked and still looks fantastic in shorts because he has tan and muscular killer legs. The shortest ones might be a bit much at his age, but he looked good in those in college.; 5/15/14, 3:51 PM
Unknown said...: I've always strongly favored long pants. Since an accident last year left me with some particular gruesome scars on my leg and a misshapen knee, I cannot imagine ever wearing shorts anywhere besides the beach or a pool. Though, admittedly, I was probably just as unlikely to be seen in them prior. Hot out? Linen pants will keep you cooler and you'll actually look like an adult.; 5/15/14, 4:01 PM
Jaq said...: Let's not forget Lt Dangle for sure.

http://www.thewrap.com/tv/column-post/comedy-central-sacks-reno-911-5176; 5/15/14, 4:27 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Where is the 5 inches measured from?"

What is the 5 inches measured with?; 5/15/14, 4:42 PM
Unknown said...: "No. I have the true notion that men in shorts look like children and are thereby deprived of sexiness from the point of view of the female."

Ann Althouse does not speak for all women.; 5/15/14, 4:47 PM
Birches said...: Though my spouse is quite trim, he has far too much leg hair to look right in short shorts. Most of the young guns now are manscaping and shaving to look right in their short shorts. Ewwww.

(I'll give you a pass if you really are an avid biker).; 5/15/14, 4:52 PM
rhhardin said...: Woman's usual line

"You're not going out dressed like that, are you?"; 5/15/14, 4:59 PM
roundeye said...: Once again I am thankful for my country club's strict Bermudas to the knee" rule. If I wore that banana hammock I would kill the grass.; 5/15/14, 5:07 PM
Rusty said...: Ann Althouse said...
"Where is the 5 inches measured from?"

What is the 5 inches measured with?

Excuse me while I whip this out.; 5/15/14, 5:18 PM
Rusty said...: No. I have the true notion that men in shorts look like children and are thereby deprived of sexiness from the point of view of the female

Fortunately for me i look killer in everything I wear.; 5/15/14, 5:19 PM
Unknown said...: No. I have the true notion that men in shorts look like children and are thereby deprived of sexiness from the point of view of the female

The (general) female point of view as to what's sexy concerns me less every day - if a viewpoint so diffuse even has meaning.

Certain particular females possess more open views and are thereby not disadvantaged by short phobic intolerance.

And isn't it surprising that there's anyone left in polite society who will express such intolerance? Check your shorts privilege, Althouse.; 5/15/14, 6:45 PM
madAsHell said...: Who names their child Feral?; 5/15/14, 7:12 PM
Unknown said...: i think the thing i find sexy about men in shorts is that they are showing off skin. also, at least with short shorts, there may be a gender-bending contrast that i also find appealing.

that isn't to say that all shorts are going to be sexy, or all men for that matter.; 5/15/14, 10:32 PM
David R. Graham said...: Well, Ann, it is my observation that you have not convinced your readers, or at least your commenters, on this one.; 5/15/14, 10:35 PM
Anonymous said...: OK, how come James Bond (meaning Sean Connery) got away with short shorts?; 5/15/14, 10:41 PM
L Day said...: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=104046722956923&set=a.103999059628356.8772.100000547868079&type=3&theater; 5/15/14, 10:54 PM
jmatt said...: Bring back my Jams.; 5/15/14, 10:55 PM
David said...: A lot of guys with a 5 inch short are already embarrassed. Why add to the problem.; 5/15/14, 11:15 PM
Fat Man said...: You really do not want to see me wear 5" shorts. Really. Honest.; 5/15/14, 11:27 PM
Dan said...: I'm 6'6". Those little teeny pants are out of the question. And, besides, retired Army officers should maintain (at least) the appearance of being a gentleman...; 5/16/14, 10:52 AM
Unknown said...: It has nothing to do with confidence, vie of the body, etc. for the great majority of men. It is just a social construct and what are being sold in stores and what most people wear. My kids all wear shorts to or below their knees. Why, are their legs not good? It is because that is what the style is.

I will not comment on the leggings trend among women.; 5/16/14, 11:18 AM
Cruising Troll said...: THANK GOD!!

I HATE the monstrous baggy long shorts. I detest having the hem of shorts rubbing the back of my knee, much less the back of my calf. A 5-7 inch short is a good length.

btw, my preference on this has nothing to do with fashion, being gay, not being gay, wanting to be seen as gay, not wanting to be seen as gay, homophobia, or the charming Southern gal by the name of Daisy.

It's what I find comfortable, and I'm glad that I should be able to find shorts at most retailers again.; 5/16/14, 1:50 PM
bobby said...: "Also don't wear 5 inch shorts if you are susceptible to the odd walking-around erection."

Who told you it was odd? And why would you repeat that on the internet? That was private.; 5/16/14, 2:24 PM