March 5, 2014

"John Kerry Sits In Shadows Of Kiev Café Awaiting Woman Known Only As Dasha."

"At press time, Kerry had reportedly detected the unmistakable scent of rosewood and nightshade, Dasha’s signature perfume."


RecChief said...

What is sad is that until I clicked on the link, I believed that to be an actual sentence, either from the NYtimes, our UN ambassador's twitter account, or DipNote.

Tarrou said...

Kerry went all the way to the Ukraine to meet a porn star?

Illuninati said...

Lets have fun here. Perhaps he was sitting in the Café hoping that a Russian spy would give him a secret message from Putin.

m stone said...

It was still dark in the overheated Kiev Sheraton room as the dyspeptic John awoke and rose. Time to pee yet again.

"Where are you going, now? It's still dark," said Teresa from the next bed, her words slurred.

Henry said...

The Honourable Schoolboy

Oso Negro said...

Fucking disgusting at so many levels.

RecChief said...

speaking of satire, anyone have any predictions on the SCOTUS reaction to P. J. O'Rourke's Amici Curiae brief in Susan B. Anthony List v. Driehaus?

CWJ said...

Was he wearing "the hat?.

Anonymous said...

John Kerry awoke to a loud bang at the far side of the room.

A blue rectangle appeared in the darkness. The window. An object stood silently in front of him.

An overturned chair?


He reached his hand across the sheets and felt...papers...piles of papers,..file folders...stamped letterhead...UN resolutions...International Treaties?

The light snapped on.

John Kerry pulled himself up, a man accustomed to a lifetime of wrestling with the cold, Nantucket surf.

There, at the foot of the bed...

***Choose Your Own Adventure-YOU'RE John Kerry

Make your move:

Option 1---Go to the 7124th UN Emergency Security Council meeting minutes here:

Option 2---Await another telephone call from President Obama to discuss unfolding events