Althouse: About that standing desk...

February 12, 2014

About that standing desk...

Readers who know I love my standing desk keep pointing me to this XKCD comic:

27 comments:

MaxedOutMama said...: Humans also aren't meant to stand all day. Pretty much it's walking.

I await with some glee the advent of the treadmill desk, soon to arrive as a "wellness" program when some bright-eyed HR exec realizes that the employees could potentially be made to provide a decent portion of the office electricity.; 2/12/14, 11:08 AM
MadisonMan said...: No -- the treadmill desk is "green" -- it generates the energy used to run your computer. Once you step off the treadmill, the computer shuts down. Hope you saved your work!; 2/12/14, 11:23 AM
lemondog said...: ..the advent of the treadmill desk

Already available:

Treadmill Desks & Recumbent Bike Desks; 2/12/14, 11:29 AM
Wince said...: Nothing beats the Bio-Flex Workout.; 2/12/14, 11:49 AM
n.n said...: As with most things, there is goodness in moderation. However, motion is imperative for normal body function.; 2/12/14, 11:57 AM
Big Mike said...: I'm sure Zeus would cooperate if you wanted to strap your laptop on his back. Then Meade could throw a ball and you're off!; 2/12/14, 12:39 PM
Brennan said...: The four stages of HR requests.

Stage 1: Request standup desk. Approved.

Stage 2: Request to work less in office or cube where stand up desk resides. Approved.

Stage 3: Request to work from home. Approved.

Stage 4: Request to work less. Indirect approval through termination of employment.; 2/12/14, 1:44 PM
n.n said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 2/12/14, 2:11 PM
Naked Surfer said...: A Sweet Kiplingesque "Just-So Story" about the Invention of the Sit-Down Chair, Jesus, and Da Vinci

See, this is all wrong.

“Humans also aren't meant to stand all day. Pretty much it's walking.”

I’ve been chewing on this since the last standing-desk entry. It’s been bugging me. Mainly because I’m jealous and I want a standing desk.

But also – biologically. People do not really spend most of their time standing, sitting, or walking – it’s sleeping.

A theoretical selection advantage to sleeping upright or sleeping at a standing desk or sleeping in a sitting position in your Baroclounger – might ensue if you are members of a tribe of Somali hunter-gatherer feminists thousands of years ago who are guarding against men-on-the-hunt (excuse me, lions) because sleeping in an upright position might give you an flight-escape advantage against the predators in the night bush. It's that night bush you gotta watch out for. It’s not the palpable daytime bitches that you must fear at night – it’s the silent bitch-predators who strike you in bed, before you know you’ve been stricken.

Selection advantage goes to those who sleep upright!

The trick then is to sleep upright and then lounge all day long.

This is why I know for sure that Mel Gibson was wrong and that the Jesus in Mel Gibson’s The Passion is the false messiah, because that Jesus invents a chair for his mother, Mary, a sit-down chair. The true messiah would invent a supine vertical table for lounging all day long. Sort of like they already had in that culture. Jesus messed it up – ipse dixit – that Jesus is not the messiah.

Unless, of course, Jesus was just testing his Bayesian subjectives (like a few blog members asked awhile back) and Jesus was using a mere chair as a trail run symbol and as a test of his messiahship with his unwitting disciples. The real Jesus at the end must now tell the truth to his now-sitting-down disciples at the last supper, “guys, guys, guys, why so serious? – I was only guessing – that I was the messiah, using my best Bayesian subjective, now quit sitting there in those worthless sit-down chairs that I invented, and just hunker back down boys, in a fully supine position, and relax! .... because at our next dinner, we will cover Malthus and the Book of Revelation, and you will really need to be all the way down and flat out supine for that whopper.”

Moral of this Kinglinqeusqe “just-so” story about how the false messiah invented sit-down chairs (aka - “How Sitting Chairs Destroyed Salvation”) is that the true position for humans is the upright position while asleep at night to be on the ready to guard against “palpable bitches” who have gone into nighttime stealth mode, and then, the ideal position during the day is fully supine.

Beware of false messiahs and Amazon Women with Amazon Portals selling stand-up desks on this subject.; 2/12/14, 2:17 PM
Mitch H. said...: Humans aren't meant to do anything, evolution doesn't have purpose. Unless you want to get religious... in which case you start getting into all sorts of theological hoo-hah.

And ask anyone who gardens just how much your back starts hurting when you're doing the most likely paleolithic activity, IE, "gathering". Or ask the athletes who replicate the "hunting" part of the old-human experience, and find out how much of their time is spent dealing with various joint injuries and so forth.

In short, if man was "meant" for anything, he was meant for pain, discomfort, and brief lives full of desperation, fear, hunger and misery.

I worked a late-night convenience store shift for three-four years, mostly consisted of standing beside a register waiting between drunken clots of college students buying snacks and cigarettes. My knees quickly started killing me, and I took any excuse to go sit down. I was much happier when I took a job which involved walking around, even if it was a wicked job making others miserable, which it was. At least my knees stopped aching, and only one or two people deliberately tried to run me over.; 2/12/14, 2:21 PM
Ann Althouse said...: I don't want a treadmill while standing reading and writing. That would be too jerky. I recommend using one of these. Good for you "core" and all that. Pleasant too, acquiring balance and poise.; 2/12/14, 2:23 PM
Naked Surfer said...: hahaha; 2/12/14, 2:31 PM
MaxedOutMama said...: Lemondog - it has to come down in price before this will become standard office equipment. Right now the treadmill desks cost far more than the cost of the electricity!!!; 2/12/14, 2:40 PM
MaxedOutMama said...: MadisonMan - you have to walk at a certain pace to power the PC, and then walk at a faster pace to power the PC and the desk lamp. And if you want internet access, just a bit faster.

HR will love it, because they can merely include a phrase about "able to use standard office equipment" in all standard job descriptions and thus weed out all the frail/sickly/elderly - a measure which will vastly cut insurance costs.

And then it will manufacture employment for lawyers suing under ADA for "reasonable accommodation".

Eventually, a sitting desk will become a prized-but-rare commodity akin to the corner office.; 2/12/14, 2:47 PM
Larry J said...: MadisonMan said...
No -- the treadmill desk is "green" -- it generates the energy used to run your computer. Once you step off the treadmill, the computer shuts down. Hope you saved your work!

No, the ultimate solution is the bicycle-generator desk. You generate the power needed to run your computer, which is much easier with a laptop than a desktop system. To make for an even more efficient office environment, remove the cubicles and have everyone pedal away in the open where they can be supervised. The supervisor can carry a whip or electric shock device to prod the laggards and will go by the name of Massa. That's the ultimate green office using appropriate and sustainable green energy.; 2/12/14, 2:47 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: I read while running on the treadmill. I couldn't stand to be there otherwise. I'm not sure that I recommend it though.; 2/12/14, 2:49 PM
Moose said...: Standing desks remind me how I ruined my knees in the 80's. People told me to run to lose weight. I did so thru the pain and then blew out my left knee.
I tend to not believe these sorts of "health" recommendations now...; 2/12/14, 3:14 PM
Lance said...: the problem with just linking the XKCD image is that you lose the hover text, which today reads:

"At first I was making fun of them, but joke's on me--the deer is surprisingly ergonomic, except for the kicks."

http://xkcd.com/1329/; 2/12/14, 3:51 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Ever tried to browse the web on an iPad while running on a treadmill? It is good for practicing patience, persistence, and clean language.; 2/12/14, 4:50 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "I read while running on the treadmill. I couldn't stand to be there otherwise. I'm not sure that I recommend it though."

Why don't you listen to audiobooks or podcasts?; 2/12/14, 5:16 PM
Kirk Parker said...: Freeman,

Do you live in backward-landia or something? In my world, that setup would be perfect for learning new curse words every day!; 2/12/14, 5:23 PM
Alex said...: How many of us take an afternoon walk at work?

Show of hands.

*crickets*; 2/12/14, 6:16 PM
Alex said...: Freeman - why torture yourself like that? I just put my iPod on.; 2/12/14, 6:16 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: I did listen to audiobooks and podcasts before. The reading thing is just lately. I don't know why. I go in phases on the treadmill between text and audio. This is the text phase.; 2/12/14, 11:48 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Outside using audio is forced because one could be hit by a car otherwise. I think being forced inside and onto the treadmill leads to reading.; 2/12/14, 11:50 PM
Revenant said...: A coworker of mine has a motorized desk that can be raised or lowered when you want to convert between "normal" and "standing".

That seems like the way to go. What you really want to do is not stay in one position for prolonged periods of time.; 2/13/14, 2:23 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: Okay, I will try Moby Dick unabridged. That's good for about 21 hours. I do not plan to use all 21 in one go.; 2/13/14, 1:52 PM