A customer service manager at a U.S. 93 North business reported a problem with a threatening customer who had used a threatening tone. He said the woman “made his skin crawl” and that he didn’t trust her....
A youth who accidentally called police while trying to call Pizza Hut was extremely rude and not forthcoming with information, eventually saying “what the (expletive), is this a new (expletive) law or something?”...
A man who shared with the Whitefish Police Department his belief that youths at the beach who were being loud were also possibly getting in his truck told a dispatcher that someone needed to investigate before he got out his .45 and handled it himself.
A tiny three-legged dog not wearing a collar or tags — but wearing a brown and white sweater — followed a woman to her Park Avenue home and wouldn’t leave for some time....
A man who was either ignorant or apathetic of the law was arrested for resisting arrest and having an open container on Central Avenue.
April 21, 2013
The man in the trench coat and clown makeup "carrying a big piece of glass shaped like a sword" tries to cash a check.
"The creepy clown-man was later reported sitting at a U.S. 93 South bar talking to himself with the piece of glass sitting next to him. The caller from the bar also noted the man was wearing a dress." And:
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Where was Ritmo when the creepy clown was last seen?
A joke was told with a punchline that assumes the understanding of the phrase rectal palpation.
palpable = able to be felt
palpate = feel by touch, finger
or maybe it means vibrate. That butterfly palpated and fluttered off.
The three-legged dog blurb sounds like something Edward Gorey would have written.
A man in a trench coat and clown makeup?
Sounds like a porn flick.
I think they've been snowed in too long...Spring needs to come soon in the mountains
... The Aristocrats!
He wants eleven dollar bills, you only got ten
It's been a LONG Winter
In the morning there are Important Decisions To Be made. Is today a Trench Coat-and-Dress Day or a Cape-and-Fishnets Day? Sometimes the Voice in the Radiator will provide Helpful Suggestions in this regard. It might ask "are you going to be carrying the Glass Sword of the Wrestling Championship Belt made out of tinfoil and a Swanson Hungryman Dinner Tray?" Or "If it is the Wrestling Championship Belt then perhaps the Red Speedo would be best, along with the Vest made out of Carpet Remnants."
The Voice in the Radiator seeks to Provide Clarity of Thought. Are we a Crying-on-the-Inside or a Crying-Hysterically-on-the-Outside Clown Today? It is about More than a Smile Turned Upside Down: it is about Color and Detail. Will there be Glitter applied to the baby-blue Tear Drops, for instance?
The Voice in the Radiator might ask: What shall be the Value of the Imaginary Check you will attempt to cash at the bar? One Thousand and Eleven-Eleven Dollars? Twenty thousand-thousand Clown Pesos? Best to bring the Glass Sword...
The Voice in the Radiator will say: I will keep your New Friend company while you are gone. We will all be Very Quiet.
The Voice in the Radiator will say: we will have a Very Quiet Tea Party, your New Friend, the Voice That Lives In the Refrigerator and I.
Make sure to get Gum Drops while you are Out.
The Yellow Gum Drops make the Bestest Happiness Joy. The Red Ones are Angry.
If you were to get a Box of Only Red Gum Drops it would be a Sign: Time to take Action. You do not want to mess with an Angry Red Gum Drop Clown on a Mission.
At the Bar Strangers may try to touch your Clown Nose. This Cannot be allowed to Happen. A Clown's Personal Space is Essential. The Glass Sword can be effective in Establishing the Proper Personal Space, especially in conjunction with High-Pitched Sobbing interspersed with Deep Breaths and Clown-Shoe Foot Tapping.
No Civilian ever Truly Understands the Calling of a Clown. Do they Choose To Be This Way? The Way chooses Them, and ties up their Imaginary Friend with Duct Tape in the Basement. Sometimes all a Clown wants is for his Imaginary Friend to be Free again.
The Symbionese Liberation Clown Front is Aggressive That Way: your Imaginary Friend is Tied up, and you better go Cash the Imaginary Check at the Bar or there will be Repercussions. Gum Drops cost Money.
No One wants the Blood of a Clown on their Hands.
The Symbionese Liberation Clown Front demands that all Clowns that are Political Prisoners of the Man must be Released.
Justice For Clowns, or Clown Justice For All: you Decide.
The Getaway Car outside the Bar is very tiny. It is not meant to be Funny.
The Voice in the Radiator sometimes tells Clown Jokes to lift up Spirits.
John Kerry walks into a bar wearing Clown Make-up.
The bartender asks "Why the drawn face?"
When the men of The Symbionese Liberation Clown Front must pass as civilians in the Non-Clown World they secretly wear Clown Make-Up on their Testicles as a Sign of Allegiance. The Clown Women do this, too.
The Symbionese Liberation Clown Front possess a Secret Handshake. The Handshake is the same as that of the Lesbian Hot Dog Stand Workers. Go figure.
Sometimes the Planning Committee of The Symbionese Liberation Clown Front meets in a back booth of a local Denny's. They do Not Wear Pants. It is as if they are Daring Someone to Do Something About It.
You do not want the Booth after they leave.
The Point is: Clowns Love Pancakes. It is one of their only Weaknesses. Sometimes they will drink pancake syrup straight up -- this leaves the telltale 'Clown Kiss' marking on the bottle.
Remember: you never know who was at that booth before you.
A candy-colored clown they call the sandman
Tiptoes to my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper:
"Go to sleep, everything is alright"
The Sandman eats only Red Gum Drops: I would not Sleep with him in the Vicinity.
It is decidedly NOT 'stardust' that he sprinkles on the Bed. And "sprinkles' Might not be the best word to describe it either.
Behold: the Clown Handshake in Action.
They Whisper so Softly in the darkest part of the Night, and then: CLOWN HORN!!!
It makes a Clown's lapel Flower squirt, just thinking about it.
Magic.
There IS something Special about Lesbian Hot Dog Stand Workers dressed as Rodeo Clowns, however.
Lesbian Hot Dog Stand Workers dressed as Rodeo Clowns waving imaginary lassoes above them as if they were about to rope a bucking wiener.
You don't see that everyday. In most towns.
Depends, worn underneath the Clown Garments, is a sign of Dedication to Performance Excellence: there will be no bathroom breaks on This Ride, people.
Restraint: no Clown should ever attempt to discover if a Stranger is ticklish. Especially tickly-dickly-tickle-icious.
Such Whimsy is Inappropriate in the Face of the Cause.
The Symbionese Liberation Clown Front knows that there must be Rules of Conduct.
And the 'Sexy Clown Voice' should only be used in Private situations.
Sexy-Voiced Tickle Clowns are not considered part of Polite Clown Society.
"Tickly-dickly-tickle-icious,
every pickle is delicious,
every tickle is a treat,
my, you have tiny feet."
"Tickle-lickle-lee, Tickle-lickle-lo
I've got a feather up my sleeve
as you soon will know
Tickle-lickle-lo, Tickle-lickle-lee
where I put my feather
you'll have to wait and see"
"Tickle-Tickle-Finger
Knows you Best
"Tickle-Tickle-Finger
Can you Guess?
"Tickle-Tickle-Finger
Knows the Spot
"Tickle-Tickle-Finger
Will never be Caught"
Ten Tiny Tickly Tickles
One from each Finger,
Ten Tiny Tickly Tickles,
One for each Toe
Ten Tiny Tickly Tickles
from the Tickle Bringer
Ten Tiny Tickly Tickles,
and One Clown Nose"
I don't know which poem was creepier...Pogo's or Beta's. But I ask you, who has NOT wanted to go into a bar dressed like a clown carrying a glass shard shaped like a sword? Just last night, on Youtube, I saw a monkey...riding a dog...dressed as a cowboy...
Driving Defensively Duck meme posited that you should consider ever driver sharing the road with you is an idiot, and will do something foolish and dangerous. I now posit that this should be extended to just people in general.
On twitter there are actual Americans calling for the release of Joker Bomber, because he is innocent. On not a few, it was many. I believe a better course of action was suggested by the Motor City Maniac. He suggested a ol' fashion neck tie party like we used to have back in the day.
I think I've made my thoughts on corporal clear enough. I am against it on religious principles. But I think a couple of exceptions could be made for Dr. Gruesome Gosnell, and Joker Bomber.
Ps. Boston Marathon is an anagram of Honors to Batman.
pps. Kudos to Beta for that vomiting string, stream of conciousness.
@Carnifex
It's from the song In Dreams by Roy Orbison.
The creepiest rendition of it is from the bizarre film Blue Velvet.
Take a look.
"Tickle me in North Dakota
Tickle me in Rome
Tickle me in Canada
When there is Nobody Home
Tickle me in China
the slow boat is leaking
No fair -- you looked!
I caught you Peking!"
"Squiggle-squiggle-squiggle-
Here comes a Tickle!
Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-
Here it comes again!
Giggle-giggle-giggle
Here comes one more!
Squirmy-wormy-worm
Do you have a Tickle for a Friend?"
Things you hear in Clown Karaoke Bars.
Yep.
Is betamax3000 the long-lost spawn of "Transistor Sister?" Or would it be "Suffering Jukebox" out of Silver Jews? Or is our betamax300 just a distant cousin of Mr. Peabody's Wayback Machine?
Inquiring minds..
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