I have a friend in Atlanta with a Old English Mastiff that should max out at 225 lbs. He and his wife have placed it on a careful diet to help the dog avoid arthritis, by keeping its maximum weight a shade under 200.
"That this was the avowed design of stationing an armed force in this town, is sufficiently known; and we, my fellow-citizens, have seen, we have felt the tragical effects! THE FATAL FIFTH OF MARCH, 1770, CAN NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. The horrors of THAT DREADFUL NIGHT are but too deeply impressed on our hearts. Language is too feeble to paint the emotions of our souls, when our streets were stained with the BLOOD OF OUR BRETHERN; when our ears were wounded by the groans of the dying, and our eyes were tormented with the sight of the mangled bodies of the dead. When our alarmed imagination presented to our view our houses wrapt in flames, our children subjected to the barbarous caprice of the raging soldiery; our beauteous virgins exposed to all the insolence of unbridled passion; our virtuous wives, endeared to us by every tender tie, falling a sacrifice to worse than brutal violence, and perhaps, like the famed Lucretia, distracted with anguish and despair, ending their wretched lives by their own fair hands."
..."has there ever been a reliable narrator, not even on objective matters: One person’s purple is someone else’s violet is someone else’s indigo is someone else’s blue. I have been engaged in telling the truth about my life for most of my life now, and I believe everything I say. The events I describe are precisely as I remember them, and as anyone else who was there recalls. And still, I know: There are other versions."
Since the dawn of time is a long time. A Tyrannosaurus Rex with feathers might be the most powerful ever seen...like The Atlanta Falcons will be on Sunday.
Since the beginning of the formation of life there has roamed a force upon the world so great the very earth trembles as it passes. It smashes forests whenever it insouciantly scratches its butt and blows storms when it sneezes dragon snot all over the place and torrential floods whenever it wees as it walks along without even stopping. But most fiercest of all features is its incredibly bad taste which radiates out at aggressive distances and freezes all living things solid on the spot making them easy pickings, Trannysaurus Rex, King of the queens of the terrible liizards.
So, I don't remember if it was you or one of the commenters who first introduced comics curmudgeon around here, but here is where I first was exposed to it, and it is one of the few places online I visit daily ever since.
That being said it makes me laugh that you're posting this particular comment as his Marmaduke comments have long been my least favorite part of his commentary.
Which makes the highlighted post especially ironic since his Judge Parker stuff is very similar in being basically the same joke each time, but it makes me laugh even to this day. I glossed over the Marmaduke and reveled in the Judge Parker comedy in that post. The high and the low of comics curmudgeon, and my low was your high.
"That being said it makes me laugh that you're posting this particular comment as his Marmaduke comments have long been my least favorite part of his commentary. Why? It just got old quick."
But that's the point: the endlessness of Marmaduke. Always the same joke, strip after strip, for -- what? -- a century?
I haven't read the comics in a newspaper in over a year, probably, and Judge Parker and Mary Worth and Apartment 3G still made me laugh. A new year's discovery, Comic Curmudgeon; thanks!
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19 comments:
I have a friend in Atlanta with a Old English Mastiff that should max out at 225 lbs. He and his wife have placed it on a careful diet to help the dog avoid arthritis, by keeping its maximum weight a shade under 200.
Garfield minus Garfield is still funnier.
Amateur...
"That this was the avowed design of stationing an armed force in this town, is sufficiently known; and we, my fellow-citizens, have seen, we have felt the tragical effects! THE FATAL FIFTH OF MARCH, 1770, CAN NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. The horrors of THAT DREADFUL NIGHT are but too deeply impressed on our hearts. Language is too feeble to paint the emotions of our souls, when our streets were stained with the BLOOD OF OUR BRETHERN; when our ears were wounded by the groans of the dying, and our eyes were tormented with the sight of the mangled bodies of the dead. When our alarmed imagination presented to our view our houses wrapt in flames, our children subjected to the barbarous caprice of the raging soldiery; our beauteous virgins exposed to all the insolence of unbridled passion; our virtuous wives, endeared to us by every tender tie, falling a sacrifice to worse than brutal violence, and perhaps, like the famed Lucretia, distracted with anguish and despair, ending their wretched lives by their own fair hands."
"Or is that my untruth?"
..."has there ever been a reliable narrator, not even on objective matters: One person’s purple is someone else’s violet is someone else’s indigo is someone else’s blue. I have been engaged in telling the truth about my life for most of my life now, and I believe everything I say. The events I describe are precisely as I remember them, and as anyone else who was there recalls. And still, I know: There are other versions."
I thought it was going to be a reference to the Marmaduke of Jack Vance.
Since the dawn of time is a long time. A Tyrannosaurus Rex with feathers might be the most powerful ever seen...like The Atlanta Falcons will be on Sunday.
I would have suggested Quasy Dog, but that's just me.
Since the beginning of the formation of life there has roamed a force upon the world so great the very earth trembles as it passes. It smashes forests whenever it insouciantly scratches its butt and blows storms when it sneezes dragon snot all over the place and torrential floods whenever it wees as it walks along without even stopping. But most fiercest of all features is its incredibly bad taste which radiates out at aggressive distances and freezes all living things solid on the spot making them easy pickings, Trannysaurus Rex, King of the queens of the terrible liizards.
So, I don't remember if it was you or one of the commenters who first introduced comics curmudgeon around here, but here is where I first was exposed to it, and it is one of the few places online I visit daily ever since.
That being said it makes me laugh that you're posting this particular comment as his Marmaduke comments have long been my least favorite part of his commentary.
Why? It just got old quick.
Which makes the highlighted post especially ironic since his Judge Parker stuff is very similar in being basically the same joke each time, but it makes me laugh even to this day. I glossed over the Marmaduke and reveled in the Judge Parker comedy in that post. The high and the low of comics curmudgeon, and my low was your high.
"... our awful tormentor, who rules over this plane of existence with gore-drenched fangs?"
Doesn't this belong on the Algore thread?
"That being said it makes me laugh that you're posting this particular comment as his Marmaduke comments have long been my least favorite part of his commentary. Why? It just got old quick."
But that's the point: the endlessness of Marmaduke. Always the same joke, strip after strip, for -- what? -- a century?
You say it got old... but it never gets old... as far as newspapers are concerned.d
That is indeed the point. It's Marmaduking Marmaduke.
That's why it's curious to me on reflection. Why does his Marmaduke stuff annoy me while his Family Circus or Judge Parker stuff still make me laugh?
It's all the same. A curious distinction deep in my psyche causes me to reject the one and value the other (enough to visit each day).
The mind is weird in its preferences. Makes no sense. I'd look deep within but fear I'd find Marmaduke staring back at me.
I haven't read the comics in a newspaper in over a year, probably, and Judge Parker and Mary Worth and Apartment 3G still made me laugh. A new year's discovery, Comic Curmudgeon; thanks!
Never thought Marmaduke was funny and Clifford is way more powerful.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Marmaduke R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
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