It's practically a romance novel. Hugh Hefner marries Crystal Harris at the Playboy Mansion... I love the photographs, which make it seem like the Playboy Mansion has its own chapel. But I suspect Hugh Hefner is an atheist. Googling, I get here:
PLAYBOY: What do you believe happens after death?
HEFNER: I haven't a clue. I'm always struck by the people who think they do have a clue. It's perfectly clear to me that religion is a myth. It's something we have invented to explain the inexplicable. My religion and the spiritual side of my life come from a sense of connection to the humankind and nature on this planet and in the universe. I am in overwhelming awe of it all: It is so fantastic, so complex, so beyond comprehension. What does it all mean -- if it has any meaning at all? But how can it all exist if it doesn't have some kind of meaning? I think anyone who suggests that they have the answer is motivated by the need to invent answers, because we have no such answers.Hef is 86, and Crystal is 26, but you never know who will go first. Hef appears to be in fine shape, and he's still cute, old man cute, not in denial of age. He seems smart and sane, and why wouldn't a woman find him attractive? Crystal on the other hand is bereft of the freshness of youth. She looks fake and drained of life, despite the big-lipped, plastered wedding-smile. What does he see in her?
Posts
273 comments:
1 – 200 of 273 Newer› Newest»Gotta get me one of those Skipper caps.
Hat? or Cap?
Hef wears a cap, not a hat I suppose.
I like real big lips, not the fake ones.
Fresh pussy.
It's perfectly clear to me that religion is a myth
OK. That makes no damn sense.
My religion and the spiritual side of my life come from a sense of connection to the humankind and nature on this planet and in the universe. I am in overwhelming awe of it all: It is so fantastic, so complex, so beyond comprehension. What does it all mean -- if it has any meaning at all? But how can it all exist if it doesn't have some kind of meaning? I think anyone who suggests that they have the answer is motivated by the need to invent answers, because we have no such answers.
Sort of a weird pantheistic agnosticism I guess. I like it.
Meade, I think Ann has a wandering eye...
What is going on with her mouth?
I think his choice of wife undermines your "smart and sane" assessment. He could do better.
"Hef appears to be in fine shape, and he's still cute, old man cute, not in denial of age. He seems smart and sane, and why wouldn't a woman find him attractive? Crystal on the other hand is bereft of the freshness of youth."
Each to her own. Hef looks like the old geezer that he is. Ms. Crystal looks just like the buxom blondie that he was always featuring in the centerfold. You have to wonder what the prenup says -- might have required some revisions to get her to say yes where, in 2011, she was into no.
Women can be really hard on other women.
Ann said: "Hef appears to be in fine shape, and he's still cute, old man cute, not in denial of age."
For a dirty old man. Sheesh.
What does he see in her?
His penis. Duh.
Hefner has constructed a philosophy in which he will never be held accountable for his lifestyle. Good luck with that, Hef.
They just couldn't be more completely of the world. No wonder he can't contemplate anything spiritual.
But, wouldn't you think there has to be more to it than looks? There are thousands of girls out there who look almost exactly like Crystal.
What does he see in her?
She's probably a really good cook, or she reminds him of his mother. One of the two.
"Fresh pussy."
But it's not fresh. That's my point. She lived in the mansion beginning 5 years ago. And if "fresh pussy" is what you want, why would you ever marry?
That's totally not the explanation.
It would make much more sense to say that he wants someone who'll care when he goes into decline, who'll stay by him and make him feel that she will grieve when he dies.
But does she look like that kind of gal?
I'm glad that Mr. Hefner can finally stop searching for a heart of gold.
"Meade, I think Ann has a wandering eye..."
No, Meade is the one that makes me see the great potential there is for cuteness in old-manliness.
No, Meade is the one that makes me see the great potential there is for cuteness in old-manliness.
There are cute old men. Hef is not one of them.
THere's also stories like this
It's perfectly clear to me that religion is a myth. It's something we have invented to explain the inexplicable.
Myth is not invented. Myth is the oral history of human experience. These two sentences contradict one another.
Hef is like Johnny Carson and Dick Cavett. He's been playig the hip sophisticate so long, he actually believes he is one.
And it's going to be interesting to see how he reacts to that "myth" when his time comes.
You know, I was just mulling over the Heffner thing and it occurs to me that only a child of the semi-Victorian, largely Protestant, rootless 50s Middle-West could have created Playboy.
And if you want to know what I mean by "rootless" Protestant midwesterners, go visit Louisville for a while, and then take the short drive across the JFK bridge into the three adjacent/merged towns of New Albany/Jeffersonville/Clarksville sitting just across the Ohio R. in Indiana and compare the sociocultural ethos.
(Although Louisville itself is not truly "Southern". As Bob Edwards of NPR fame once accurately described the city: "Louisville is neither especially 'southern' nor is it especially 'mid-western'--but especially 'neither.' ")
It is difficult to know what is going on in Ms. Harris' head, but surely she is aware that her marriage is limited by human biology. It is extremly unlikely that Mr. Hefner will live past 100. She will be barely into her 40's by then.
As for Hefmer, even after many marriages, he is still a romantic. He doesn't have to get married to get laid, yet he wants to be married. Which is to say, he may be shallow, but he could be more shallow.
As for what Hef wants and why she satisfies that... only he knows.
As I said in a previous discussion, Althouse, women and men are often in conflict, particularly over what they want in sex.
You've stated the traditional female view quite well. You want "meaning" and "relationship."
Most men I know want that, and they also want the other side... the side that is so prevalent in the gay male world... sex for the sheer intoxicating, physical, randy sake of getting off, including outrageous shit just for the sake of doing outrageous shit.
Hef likes looking at sex. He made his fortune out of the visual, entertainment side of sex. You've made it quite clear that you don't find that very interesting.
Typical male versus female divide over sex.
@edutcher/
Heh. Cavett and Carson were also sons of the 50s middle-west..
Why do people find old men who love sex so ridiculous?
I think that they fear that in old men.
Hef is far from ridiculous. He's one of the most important, vanguard thinkers of our time.
@edutcher/
PS--As was I, lol.
It's easy to ridicule Hef for being old and out of fashion .
And every one of you owes him a debt of gratitude for the ease with which you talk about sex, and the freedom he pioneered.
Hef has always made people uneasy. Glad to see that has no changed.
She has vitamin P Ann, what do you think?
He really is a dirty old man, no more, no less, who has trafficked in women since puberty.
In a nursing home, some woman is washing dried feces off the ass of a patient and wishing she could trade places with this woman.
The anger and ridicule you are all directing at Hef is just King Lear all over again.
He's been fending off that anger and ridicule all his life and prospering at love, work and money despite it.
I don't think it affects him now either.
"Why do people find old men who love sex so ridiculous?"
It's the visualization aspect. No one wants to visualize old people having sex. It's diz-gustin' ya know.
Hefner really lives the life of a Monarch free from conventional morality which is only for the serfs.
As for hiswise opinions on God and man, his advice is as petty as Prince Charles' advice. They both think with their dicks.
Hefner really lives the life of a Monarch free from conventional morality which is only for the serfs.
Except that he earned that life by the sweat of his own brow.
As for hiswise opinions on God and man, his advice is as petty as Prince Charles' advice. They both think with their dicks.
Hef didn't build a business empire by thinking with his dick.
But does she look like that kind of gal?
I have no idea.
"Old man cute."
We need a tag for that.
Maybe she's cheerful. Or funny. Or clever.
Living up to my handle . . .
That's just fucking disgusting and outrageous. A prime example of our cultural cancer.
"What does he see in her?"
He's reading her for the articles.
Maybe Ms. Harris is sexy as hell and wants to screw every day. Maybe even twice a day.
Maybe she likes to watch porn with Hef, and likes to screw in threesomes of both varieties.
Maybe she's tough and foul mouthed, and maybe she makes him laugh while they're screwing.
You guys need to get out more.
Hef didn't start out in the lifestyle he's led for so many decades. He started out conventional and had his heart broken by a girl.
Hefner married Northwestern University student Mildred Williams (born 1926) in 1949. They had two children, Christie Hefner (born 1952) and David (born 1955).[21] Before the wedding, Mildred confessed that she had had an affair while he was away in the Army. He called the admission "the most devastating moment of my life."
Some men never get over something like that, and their lives are defined by it.
Ann:
FYI, to a man of a certain age, pre-perimenepausal women are considered "fresh" A 26-yo gal is likely still using slender-regulars, not the super-soakers required by a 40+yo cougar. Since Hef does not wear 13-EEE shoes, one might expect that the female vintage makes a difference to him.
Why does a rich, 'old man' cute 86 year male marry about so-so attractive 26 year old woman?
Because he can.
And from the woman's side, here's what probably appeals to Ms. Harris about Hef, aside from the obvious benefits of money and notoriety, which are aphrodisiacs.
An old man who's been screwing all kinds of cute women his entire life is an old man with a lot of confidence... in particular a lot of confidence in his ability to keep it up. He's not going to blow his wad just because some young cutie shows him her tits. She's going to have to do one hell of a lot more than that.
And old man can be quite satisfying to young women in that way.
After death Hugh will simply be an inanimate body with an erection lasting four hours or more.
I find it quite appalling, as well as entertaining, that you folks are searching so furiously for signs of pathology here.
The very Puritanism Hef spent his life undermining.
Victory to Hef!
I wonder what their pre-nup says.
"Crystal on the other hand is bereft of the freshness of youth. She looks fake and drained of life, despite the big-lipped, plastered wedding-smile."
Could it be that there's a dark side to being a sex toy living in a geezer's fantasy world? A dark side that is soul-crushing and wears on your both psychologically and physically?
Shouting Thomas said...
I find it quite appalling, as well as entertaining, that you folks are searching so furiously for signs of pathology here.
The very Puritanism Hef spent his life undermining.
Victory to Hef!
Don't be foolish.
There certainly is some level of emotional pathology going on here and Puritanism has nothing to do with it.
What an OLD man sees in a woman young enough to be his great-grand daughter is open for speculation. What she sees in him is most likely a daddy figure with the opportunity for a HUGE pay-off once he dies, which, if she does him correctly, will be sooner rather than later.
Social mores including such a vast discrepancy in ages has nothing to do with Puritanism and awful lot with both of them being in denial of death.
Could it be that there's a dark side to being a sex toy living in a geezer's fantasy world? A dark side that is soul-crushing and wears on your both psychologically and physically?
Another attempt to discover pathology.
You guys are hard care puritans.
Hef is an enormously successful business man. He does not live in a "fantasy world." He knows the world and functions in it far better than you do.
Living with enormous wealth and the opportunity to do whatever you want certainly strikes me as "soul-crushing."
You guys are stewing in jealousy! Stew on!
What an OLD man sees in a woman young enough to be his great-grand daughter is open for speculation. What she sees in him is most likely a daddy figure with the opportunity for a HUGE pay-off once he dies, which, if she does him correctly, will be sooner rather than later.
For the first part, I'd say Hef sees beauty and a lot of sexual energy. So, yes, it's Puritanism that's digging at you.
For the second part, Ms. Harris has made a smart deal that will make her very rich for the rest of her life. Why do you think that that would cause her to have animosity toward Hef and wish him to die? That's just nonsense. More likely to create sympathy and gratitude in a good woman.
You guys need to get out more.
Some of us have, ST, and some of us actually took notice of the cultural rot that's pretty much ruined the country. As I drive through inner-city ghettos and trailer parks, I see drugs, crime, and knocked-up girls who have no business having kids. 'Ol Hef had a big hand in that.
Don't mean to sound prudish. Maybe I need to get out more...
Petri dishes, the both of them. That's what I see.
Pornstar boring.
"I find it quite appalling..."
Great. Theater of Outrage, over... what?
'Ol Hef had a big hand in that.
No, Hef never was an advocate of irresponsibility.
You obviously have not followed his career.
Great. Theater of Outrage, over... what?
No outrage.
Just amused and appalled by the determination to find pathology.
Don't see any reason to do that, except jealousy. And, ill will.
People, in general, get pretty upset when other people are getting more and better sex than they are. Nothing pisses people off more.
Holy Viagra Batman!
A thread about Hugh Hefner turned Shouting Thomas into Inga talking about Obama.
"People, in general, get pretty upset when other people are getting more and better sex than they are. "
I can think of 10 off the top of my head, actually.
You know when I read the title at first I thought it said "Madison" and I ignored it. Just sayn'
Callahan
Trailer trash look at Hustler, not Playboy. Hef idealized the life of an uber successful man of intellect, business acumen and a taste for the finer things in life that responsible success can facilitate.
Hef inspired men to be earners and thinkers who know how to relax and enjoy life.
Sorry that does not meet your ideal cloistered in a monastery with the other high priests of moral rectumtude.
You obviously have not followed his career.
Not sure what this has to do with anything.
Hef never was an advocate of irresponsibility.
OK, I'll bite. Where has Hefner advocated responsibility? And where in his actions has he shown responsibility?
A thread about Hugh Hefner turned Shouting Thomas into Inga talking about Obama.
Hef is so much more important and interesting than Obama. He and Henry Miller are probably the two most important literary intellectuals of the 20th century.
You guys are certainly uncomfortable about sex. I guess you don't need it much.
Sorry that does not meet your ideal cloistered in a monastery with the other high priests of moral rectumtude.
That doesn't even attempt to address my point. Cultural rot, as a whole, was my point.
Sorry if a little truth hurts.
I can think of 10 off the top of my head, actually.
You'd be wrong.
"Don't see any reason to do that, except jealousy. And, ill will."
Not morality?
That's my first guess.
Sociopaths claim that they are only doing what everyone else wants to. That is, evils' approach, a plea to indulge your appetites without restraint. But it's debasing and destructive as a way of life.
What's the matter Baron von Zemo? Chrystal not quite heavy enough to make your thong get tight?
Shouting it is the guys who need it who talk about it so much.
If you are getting it you don't need to talk about it.
It's like money. If you have it you don't have to talk about it all the time.
OK, I'll bite. Where has Hefner advocated responsibility?
Your example of Hef's target audience was ridiculous. His target audience has always been the well heeled, financially secure men, not welfare queens. His audience is responsible, financially secure men who want to enjoy the good life that they can afford.
And where in his actions has he shown responsibility?
Hef has been very successful as a father. His daughter is (or was until recently) manager of his financial empire. He takes good care of the people around him.
Hef has supported and financed the careers of more great writers than I can mention, and he was instrumental in bringing black entertainers onto the national stage in the 60s.
There is nothing wrong with Chrystal? Who said there was? What's with the straw woman?
Ritmo....Ritmo....is that you?
If you are getting it you don't need to talk about it.
Bullshit. Some people just like talking, writing and making media about sex. People are built differently.
God, you guys are hilarious.
I'm changing my answers.
My newly resolutioned 2013 self says: Hey, doesn't impact me, so live and let live. They look happy!
Sociopaths claim that they are only doing what everyone else wants to. That is, evils' approach, a plea to indulge your appetites without restraint. But it's debasing and destructive as a way of life.
Jesus, Pogo, you really went off the deep end there!
Callahan:
Cultural rot, like the poor has always been with us. Your perception that "these days" are unique is just an example of your cultural myopia and historical ignorance.
I get a kick out of your "hurts" comment. Sounds like you are into S&M or some other sick and twisted mental defect exacerbated by a belief in mythical angry, vengeful gods. Be that as it may, nothing a twit like yourself could ever hurt anyone other that a lower echelon twit.
If it wasn't for the articles in Playboy, the magazine wouldn't have had any success.
Touche von R
As the old man told me, there is only good, better and best!
Party on, Garth
Reading this comment thread reminds me of that episode of The Odd Couple where Felix Unger's ex-wife got a job working as a Playboy bunny.
I don't know why.
When I was a kid nobody read Playboy. Or at least the guys obsessed with sex didn't read it. It was for older dudes. The horndogs read Penthouse instead.
Well at least they looked at the photos.
If it wasn't for the articles in Playboy, the magazine wouldn't have had any success.
The usual nonsense.
Hef very cleverly lured in the audience with tits and ass, and then presented some of the best interviews and short story writing of his generation in Playboy. Playboy interviews were required reading during the late 60s and early 70s.
Jesus, but you guys are uncomfortable with sex.
What kind of man reads Althouse comment threads?
Is Playboy even a thing anymore? It seems like something dreamed up during an episode of Madmen.
What does he see in her?
Well, to paraphrase the immortal Earl Butz, it ain't loose shoes or a warm place to crap.
I'm just here to look at the avis, to be honest about it.
Jesus Fucking Christ!
I'm going to have to write my sexual memoir!
You dried up old prunes will all pay big money to be outraged!
I only read the threads for the sex talk between Shouting Thomas and Inga.
Hubba hubba!
Hefner is Citizen Kane. She waxes his sled.
Unlike a lot of you perverts, I read the article. Seems that she cancelled the first marriage, and then:
One month after the split, Harris appeared on Playboy's cover in Hef's signature captain's hat along with a headline that called her "Runaway Bride."
Hef later quipped that he "missed a bullet" by not marrying the bombshell.
Harris responded by slamming the couple's sex life, telling Howard Stern that Hef lasted "like two seconds," and selling her 3.39-carat engagement ring at a Christie's auction.
WTF?
Don't see any reason to do that, except jealousy. And, ill will.
People, in general, get pretty upset when other people are getting more and better sex than they are. Nothing pisses people off more....
You guys are certainly uncomfortable about sex. I guess you don't need it much.
None of these assumptions are in evidence.
Hey I can't wait to read it Shouting.
I love fiction.
This blog needs a Letters To Althouse feature.
Hey I can't wait to read it Shouting.
I love fiction.
That certainly made me laugh my ass off!
" My religion and the spiritual side of my life come from a sense of connection to the humankind and nature on this planet and in the universe. I am in overwhelming awe of it all: It is so fantastic, so complex, so beyond comprehension."
He's talking about pussy, orgasms and knocking the bottom out of women.
Sounds like you are into S&M or some other sick and twisted mental defect exacerbated by a belief in mythical angry, vengeful gods.
Sounds like someone is projecting. You see, I don't believe in any mythical, angry, or vengeful gods. I'm not even relgious: I go to church once a year, Christmas Eve, because it's a tradition.
I am just capable of seeing the lay of the land. Do I think the porno industry is the only cause (or symptom) of our cultural rot? No. But it was (and is) a big part. When you loosen standards, the slippery slope applies, and where does it stop then?
But I guess as long as Howard can pound his pud without anyone judging him, I guess that's all that really matters. Glad to see your priorities are in order.
Mad Men and Playboy intersect . . .mmmmm, BAMMO!
I don't see how anyone reading what Hefner said could conclude that he was probably an athiest. He is clearly an agnostic.
None of these assumptions are in evidence.
These assumptions are shrieking out and begging to be noticed.
Dear Althouse
I am an older gentleman living in Woodstock New York who is trying to meet women on the internets. I know that worked for you so I would like to try it. Should I start a blog? Should I comment fifty times in a thread and post music videos of obscure Dominican salsa singers? Should I post long comments of big words that I don't understand or don't mean anything?
Currently I am flirting on-line with a woman who claims to be a retired nurse and former astronaut. I don't know what I should do? Sometimes I think I should set up a date and sometimes I think I would be better off if I stuck my pecker in a pencil sharpener.
What should I do.
Mummering Murray
I am finding this thread pretty funny ... as I expected to.
Good for Hef on getting a girl 60 years younger than he. Whether she ends up being cheaper per screw than a whore, I have no idea, but that's his decision.
To you that denigrate the looks of the 26 year old bunny wife. LOL. Sure she ain't perfect. But who is? What I detect here is envy, jealousy, and good old-fashioned female competition.
And to you men who are denigrating her, in addition to exhibiting some of the traits listed above, I will add this: Sad sacks.
Playboy DOES function as a marker of the times. Once upon a time it did not show pubic hair in any photos because of the era's standards. Now it doesn't show pubic hair in any photos because its all been shaved away, per this era's standards...
People, in general, get pretty upset when other people are getting more and better sex than they are. Nothing pisses people off more....
Um. No.
There was no time in my life when I wasted energy being pissed off that other people were having more or better sex than I was having.
I don't blame you for being jealous, though.
Baron, just because you are a pitiful, dried up and ugly old fuck doesn't mean we all are.
Your jealousy is well earned.
I am doing much better than you, and have been all my life.
I hope it makes you choke. Watching you choke on it is quite satisfying.
Dear Althouse,
PS: Please excuse the shaky handwriting.
Mummering Murray
Ok, the thread is used up.
Nothing left but the insults.
Damn but you guys are dried up, frustrated, pissed off old prunes.
Eat my dust.
Dear Althouse
I normally get my jollies posting pity comments on your blog and posting photos of winsome farm animals. But lately that has not been enough for me.
Recently as I bike to my job at Publix I have been passing this chicken farm and I keep noticing this very attractive pullet. I would like to ask her out.
How can I get her to cross the road?
Without getting arrested. Again.
IM Hardon.
Baron, LOL!!
@Shouting Thomas - Unfair memoir. You had a guitar in your hands like I did. Present women with a man who has a guitar, uses it onstage and many of them lose all sense of responsibility, respectability and common sense. Sometimes all three together if you're lucky. And if you're the singer too? Square the results.
You guys, by the way, are welcoming to fume over the pussy Hef is getting.
That's about all you can do, isn't it?
I suspect he'll keep on screwing that young pussy, no matter how much you disapprove.
I intend to continue doing the same. The anger, ridicule and jealousy are proof that I'm doing something right. Been dealing with it my entire life.
Eat your guts out. Have fun.
And if you're the singer too?
Finally, a man with some sense.
Yes, I'm a singer, too. Just did an outrageously fun New Year's Eve gig.
Dear Althouse
I have been having trouble meeting women lately because they object to the fact that I dress like a Mexican wrestler and that I am obsessed by Mitt Romney. How can I change up my look to meet the babes?
Six Of One Half a Dozen of Nothing.
Hefner made it big, encouraged by the culture, commodifying women, which contributed to our current moral decay. If he didn't do it, someone else would have. It's part of our struggle with the concept of individual liberty.
Pubic hair is so 1970s. The tattoo on the lower back is this generation's pubic hair.
Going forward, maybe women can tattoo pubic hair on their shaved areas.
Fellow Prairie Stater ST is more on tgt than most here will admit. Playboy was Always a "life-style" magazine (albeit centered around sex--but as sex is one of THE most basic emotional drivers, why not?) as much as anything else. One simply CANNOT, imho, separate the articles, cartoons, interviews, etc., from the sex. Playboy was the prototype for MAXIM et al today, i.e., heavy on men's cultural "toys" such as fast cars, etc., as well as the sex. One can get all the straight sex/porno one wants via the innertubes. People seriously underestimate Hef's vision and intentions as well as his abilities also..
And while it is true that one may argue (correctly) that Playboy was the crack in the societal dam that led to an eventually flooding of society with dysfunctional hedonistic cultural maladies of all sorts, it would be hard to prove that such was Hef's intention. And at any rate, it's tough to fight the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics--especially as applied to sociocultural norms. Entropy, greatly aided by modern scientific advances (think the "pill.") will out eventually, however unfortunate that is for the general welfare..
Huge tracts of land.
I dunno, ST. Jealousy is really a waste of time. Destructive, too.
So I avoid it.
You're assuming all men want what you want, or what you think they want. More, you're assuming we'd trade places with Hef given half the chance.
The problem is, what seemingly worked for Hef is destructive when applied to large groups.
Blacks and now a good chunk of poor white males are living this 'dream', floating from sex to sex like so many dogs. It has proven deleterious for children, and made it possible for boys to never become men.
Jealousy ain't the feeling I would describe here. I find it all pretty sad. Despair, maybe.
Baron Zemo - Please use caution regarding chickens.
I own two chickens and a donkey. One day last summer while tending my chickens and talking my neighbor, a bee stung my donkey in his behind. The donkey couldn't reach the bee either by kicking or biting.
I asked my neighbor if she'd hold my cock and pullet while I scratched my ass.
The police didn't believe me either.
Sincerely,
Prisoner 33208
...eventually flooding of society with dysfunctional hedonistic cultural maladies of all sorts, it would be hard to prove that such was Hef's intention."
Everyone has the best intentions, don't they?
the road to hell and all that.
Hefner said he is always struck by the people who think they have a clue what happens after death.
I wonder what he thinks of people who think they know about his sex life.
Kit said...
But does she look like that kind of gal?
I have no idea.
Me neither. The fact that she is so obviously not a "10" says something.
Hell, I'm almost 60 now and all I know about how women think is that there are at least a handful of questions that are best responded to by feigning hearing loss, or leaving the room to take out the garbage, chop wood, or whatever.
Jesus, but you guys are depressingly drab fucks.
I don't give a good flying monkey fuck about societal trends, or such abstract bullshit.
I'm on this earth to enjoy the life I have.
And, I have. So did Hef.
I took care of my kids and family. That's all that matters.
This big issue bullshit is really of no fucking consequence to me. What is of consequence to me is whether I enjoy my day, eat good food and get laid by a nice woman before I go to bed at night.
You guys got your heads up your asses.
"You guys, by the way, are welcoming to fume over the pussy Hef is getting."
Fumes over the pussy?
She needs to, er, change the oil or something.
Dear Althouse
I have a problem. I like to hang out where nobody likes me. I post nasty comments and everyone yells at me. They scream at me and if they could they would throw a frying pan at me they would.
I think I am ready for marraige.
Do you know any other desperate spinsters who need someone to make them pancakes and shave their feet?
Antietam
This kind of talk just makes me hungry.
Since I'm enjoying some time off, I think I'll go into town and buy me a big ribeye steak with the bone still in it.
Pan friend with sauteed mushrooms.
ST, how do you reconcile this attitude with your religion?
"Hefner made it big, encouraged by the culture, commodifying women ...
Thread winner.
It's women who have commodified men, Deborah. This was done largely by sexist divorce laws and consequnce-free female sex:
Step 1: Fuck the charasmatic cads when young.
Step 2: Marry the sad sack providers before your looks totally evaporate upon hitting the wall.
Step 3: File the papers and sue the sad sack.
ST, how do you reconcile this attitude with your religion?
Why would you think it needs reconciling?
@Original Mike, thanks. I needed that.
I agree that the new bride looks a little -- fake? I doubt Hefner can tell. As for what goes on between those two adults, I don't care.
Obligatory link.
This thread needs a shout-out to President John Tyler.
The Other Father of Our Country.
Nome, there is room in this world for both of our trends; they are part and parcel of the larger societal decay/transition.
Because in the female priest controvery thread you became mystical about the sanctity of men and women in God's plan.
to paraphrase what George Will said about OJ: it is impossible to overestimate the unimportance of Hef to me.
Because in the female priest controvery thread you became mystical about the sanctity of men and women in God's plan.
It's not mystical. It's quite literal.
The first lesson in Catholicism is, and always has been...
God is the father.
"This big issue bullshit is really of no fucking consequence to me. What is of consequence to me is whether I enjoy my day, eat good food and get laid by a nice woman before I go to bed at night.
You guys got your heads up your asses."
See?
We have different goals entirely.
I am not here for the reason you are. I wanted something more than appetites satisfied, something any dog can do.
I am not here for the reason you are. I wanted something more than appetites satisfied, something any dog can do.
What is it about difference between people that compels you to act like a complete fucking asshole?
And, why do you think you're so superior to a dog?
o paraphrase what George Will said about OJ: it is impossible to overestimate the unimportance of Hef to me.
Hefner is more important to me than Kim and Kanye. (And if you're thinking Who?, consider yourself blessed).
"And, why do you think you're so superior to a dog?"
It says so in Genesis. And catechism, I will bet.
Look, I've been through this my entire life with you dried up, pitifully sexless old prunes.
Your lack of imagination and appetite make you drab and colorless, and you work hard at convincing yourself that that is actually why you are superior.
The argument is always the same. People can't possibly be colorful and extroverted in their sex life, and also be intelligent and accomplished in their lives.
You guys just aren't my equal. I feel sympathy for you. But, I won't let your jealousy affect me much.
It says so in Genesis. And catechism, I will bet.
Not exactly, as I interpret it. More that we are the shepherds of our flocks and the gardeners of the fields.
Our innate and most primitive sense of justice demands that libertines come to a bad end. I think John Holmes had the most satisfying death. He was impotent and died of AIDS. Now there's some poetic justice, served cold with a twist of lemon.....Hef's last days do not point to an edifying moral. Maybe he'll stroke out during a blow job, and we'll be able to take some comfort in that. However, as it stands now, the wages of sin have given him a comfortable living and I don't think anyone, anywhere in the history of humanity has had such an enviable old age......I would like to take a moment to pause and relect on Bob Guccione. It was that gentleman who made a fortune by introducing pubic hair to the American public. As I recall, he went banrupt and died an early death. Such an end does not disturb the equilibrium of the spinning wheels and let's us take comfort in the bargain we have struck with life and our libido.
William understands perfectly.
I'm off now to buy that ribeye. The gig money is burning a hole in my pocket.
How long before Hef cheats on the bride?!
How long before Hef cheats on the bride?!
I'm really only commenting because you posted on 1/2/13 at 12:13. Excellent!
To answer your question: I can't think the bride is naive. Is it actually cheating if she knows?
"What does he see in her? "
Do we need to draw a picture? There a plenty of photos available.
Dear Althouse
I have been having a sexual problem. I can only perform sexually with women who have the Oscar Gamble but lately all of the women I meet sport the Sinead O'Conner.
So recently I have been having sex with a Rhesus Monkey that I have shaved (except for her lady parts). But now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me as she wants to run for President.
What should I do?
Steel Wheelsand Losing Weight
Shouting Thomas said...
Love to see how you reconcile your first comment at 12.00 and the one at 12:05.
I am with Pogo.
Playboy was probably the first - can't think of another offhand art least - introduction for American mainstream culture to the idea that hedonism was OK as long as the ladies looked like corn fed farmer's daughters.
Show me a culture or period in a culture's history that didn't tank wholly or at least badly after hedonism became acceptable. The idea that Playboy represented the smart, successful gents wanting to enjoy life...I give you Nero and Louis the XIV.
Before you tell me that I'm a dried up prune or puritanical luddite, I've been married over 3 decades to a woman that still excites and satisfies me. But we never considered it fucking a sport. And that's what Playboy and Hefner was all about.
"And, why do you think you're so superior to a dog?"
Opposable thumbs, to start.
Dear Althouse
Peta is protesting at my house because they think I think I am superior to a dog.
That's not true.
A dog can lick his own balls.
If I could do that I would never leave the house.
Or troll for babes on the internets.
Mummering Murray
"But we never considered it fucking a sport. And that's what Playboy and Hefner was all about." -- B
Not sure what that first sentence exactly means, so I can't really say I disagree with the second.
However, sex is fun. Beautiful girls are nice to look at (beautiful naked girls, even better). Hugh Hefner has never harmed anyone by publishing Playboy. You admit to having an exciting and satisfying sex life, so you must agree that sex is fun. I am willing to bet you don't mind looking at beautiful girls, and I am willing to further bet that the fewer clothes they wear, the less you mind looking.
So, what exactly is your problem with Hugh Hefner?
"So, what exactly is your problem with Hugh Hefner?"
Reductio ad hefnerium yields Detroit.
Show me a culture or period in a culture's history that didn't tank wholly or at least badly after hedonism became acceptable.
I have absolutely no fucking interest in what causes culture to tank.
I'm here for about 100 years. I'm attending to that reality, not to such meaningless abstractions.
Opposable thumbs, to start.
Highly over-rated.
Reductio ad hefnerium yields Vegas.
Reductio ad Obamaium yields Detroit.
Baron Zemo said...
A dog can lick his own balls...If I could do that I would never leave the house.
So sad for youse :-)) Ritmo claims that's all I do!! But, then .... he's just jealous.
Reductio ad hefnerium yields Vegas.
Yes, that is a more likely result.
And, what's wrong with that? Answer... nothing.
You're all missing the point. Hef, of all people, doesn't need to get married to get laid. The correct answer seems obvious once you factor this in.
He finally met the right girl.
"He finally met the right girl."
More likely the triumph of hope over experience.
No, that was the 2008 presidential election.
"I only read the threads for the sex talk between Shouting Thomas and Inga."
1/2/13 11:23 AM
I did not have sexual relations with that man. The sex talk is all one sided....his. Besides, I'm German.
What is it about difference between people that compels you to act like a complete fucking asshole?
Says the guy who calls someone an asshole because he doesn't agree with him. You hit below the belt here first, ST, not Pogo. None of Pogo's posts went even close to the above.
I like deborah's theory of the historical inevitability of Playboy.
You get a much bigger sexual revolution w/ a magazine and The Pill than you get w/ just a magazine.
Hef's real achievement was in maintaining his monopoly for as long as he did.
Obviously somebody involved in running the empire was business-savvy.
Cue the riffs on "maintaining his pole"...
Aridog, I had a little dog named Teddy. He was a Peek- Pom, with similar coloring as your Aridog. He was loyal and adoring like only a dog could be and for that I let him keep his little nuts.
He licked them daily and looked at me in gratitude.
Unfortunatly he was a baaaaad dog, never completely housebroken, he would steal all my daughters underwear and hide them under my bed.
I did not have sexual relations with that man.
That was a good one, Inga!
And, quite Germain.
However, I'm German and Irish. Actually, Welsh, but who the fucks even knows where Wales is located?
We'll have to wait for Althouse to get to that country.
ST, I bet you wear lederhosen.
Man, this steak is going to be killer!
Side of sauteed broccoli and carrots.
Served with mucho de sauteed garlic and mushrooms!
That sounds like a delicious lowcarb meal, enjoy, treat the steak gently.
"Opposable thumbs...
Highly over-rated."
Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong, Picasso and Shakespeare all disagree!
Good discussion, ST. We should have a beer someday.
Ann Althouse said...
"Fresh pussy."
But it's not fresh. That's my point. She lived in the mansion beginning 5 years ago. And if "fresh pussy" is what you want, why would you ever marry?
That's totally not the explanation
Ann...please....when you are an old man, you can lecture another old man on "fresh pussy." Please note that I did not say "new pussy," which would be the case had he not boinked her before. I am only 55, and a 26-year-old looks pretty goddamn fresh to me. Clearly the old boy is going for orifice tension and enthusiasm. If he wanted sparkling repartee, deep insight, and someone with a remote chance of understanding his cultural referents, he might go for...ahem...a hot 60-something law professor. As for marrying, perhaps after all these decades of debauchery, he is ready to settle down.
There is no fool like an old fool.
Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong, Picasso and Shakespeare all disagree!
My dog, one of the smartest people I know, says "Meh".
Glad to see Original Mike is okay and commenting again after the election. Was starting to worry about him!
Not sure what that first sentence exactly means, so I can't really say I disagree with the second.
Poorly written and posted without preview. Try this:
"But we never considered our sex life as sport fucking. And that's what Playboy and Hefner was all about.
I am willing to bet you don't mind looking at beautiful girls, and I am willing to further bet that the fewer clothes they wear, the less you mind looking.
Of course. I'm human. And you can get that at the beach. But that is not what ST or Pogo were talking about nor was I
So, what exactly is your problem with Hugh Hefner?
With Hugh (or ST for that matter)...nothing. Not directly and personally anyway. Whatever floats their boats.
The problem I have is with the notion that ST was advancing that what Playboy, and Hugh by his direction, represented was harmless. That because Playboy was written for and targeted to the sensibilities of the urbane and sophisticated gentleman and his use of sex as a leisure time activity without commitment to anything beyond appetite. And anyone who did not see it that way was a prune etc.
Playboy and the philosophy and lifestyle that celebrated the idea that hedonism - all the toys and the admittedly crudely put 'sport fucking' - was the signature MARK of the urbane and sophisticated gentleman. That idea is anything but harmless.
As an example of where that took us you can look at what happened to women's status in society once they bought into that lifestyle concept from their end. Sport fucking as a right without personal, moral, or ethical consequence is now the signature mark of women's rights - (see Sandra Fluke and at least one female commenter here) - and our whole political landscape and our culture and society has changed for the worse.
While they may be relatively slow, both evolution and devolution of society and culture are incremental and are inexorable once the tipping point where there's no turning back is reached. A lot of societal factors and pressures came into play back then and while I'm not suggesting that all the blame can be put on Playboy and Hugh by any means they were at the leading edge.
I think Allen makes a great point about the articles.
Playboy would have been just another tits and ass magazine, however with actual journalism and fiction etc. it carved out its own unique niche.
Inga wrote: Unfortunatly he was a baaaaad dog, never completely housebroken, he would steal all my daughters underwear and hide them under my bed.
It does seem possible that there is a connection between his unneutered state and his need to mark every inch of his territory and his penchant for sniffing underwear.
A blog post about a buffoonishly aging Hugh Hefner, 174 comments, and still not yet a single reference to Glenn Quagmire.
* * sads. * *
Earlier, I said:
"If it wasn't for the articles in Playboy, the magazine wouldn't have had any success."
And then, Shouting Thomas said...
"The usual nonsense."
Man, lighten up. I can't believe you fell for that.
B understands Hefner's Playboy Philosophy, it was about conspicuous consumption and guiltless sports fucking. Hefner's writing or speech make that clear through the 50s and early 60s. Much of the groundwork of the new left sexual revolution was laid in the 50s, way before the pill. Hefner always intended to beak down the judo-christian sexual morals, he said so.
The Grateful Dead appear on Playboy After Dark in 1969, and Hef discusses hippie-dom.
Hey ST, I thought that lecturing other people on the propriety of their sexual attitudes was the height of puritanism! : )
Have to say when I read that Althouse thinks Hefner is “still cute, old man cute” that I had to scratch my head in disbelief.
But then looking at this photo of Hefner and this one of Meade, I think I get it.
Not exactly separated at birth, but ...
"Hef didn't build a business empire by thinking with his dick."
No, he built it by getting other people to think with THEIR dicks.
Okay so I was wrong.
This "marriage" is all about Hef not wanting to go out humiliated. She jilted him at the altar last time around, and went around spouting stories that did not reflect well on him.
He'll cheat on her shortly. The replacement has probably already been picked out and is running lines now. Hef, The Cad. Better than Hef-- the 2-second shriveled-up wonder.
It will be interesting to hear all the dirt when he's gone. Celebrities always rat out the dead.
I just hope a lot of young people aren't misled about sex by the example of Heffner. While people in the entertainment and pornography industries do get their chances, if you wish to enjoy a truly debauched, utterly depraved sex life, radical politics is the way to go. Consider Gandhi. If you or I tried to give enemas to underage girls, we wouldn't get very far. But Gandhi, that little stud muffin, gets a hagiographic biopic. A lot of the women who are so disapproving of Heffner's sex life would probably relish an enema from Gandhi. They'd probably brag about what a cleansing and religious experience it was to all their friends....Or, if you want to get it on with a twelve year old, consider the example of Daniel Ortega. It's true that Woody and Roman Polanski got away with it, but they had to undergo a certain amount of scandal and emotional trauma. Daniel not only got away with it, he got elected president of his country....As a general rule, the more radical your politics, the more radical your sexual transgressions and the more complete your pardon. Ponder Mao, whose picture still hangs over Taiping Square and is still revered by millions. He had a sex life that guys like Heffner can only dream about. An endless number of teenage virgins were recruited to ease his old bones. I'm not into enemas or twelve year olds, but the whole concept of teen age virgins sounds like something worth pursuing. What was particularly louche about Mao was that he did not believe in bathing. Only the bourgeoise can afford soap and hot water. A man of the people doesn't bathe. So he got to have sex with all these teen age virgins and he didn't even have to shave. Eat your heart out Heffner....I would advise any young man interested in becoming a depraved degenerate to go into politics and not pornography.
Lydia, thanks! I must say though, I think there are many men, willingly stuck on ogling only young women, who are missing a valuable and special beauty that can only be found in women of age and maturity. Genuine self-confidence, seasoned complex humor, perspective that can only come from experience, PLUS the physical beauty of good health and a true femininity born of years lived fully awake and alive are all rarely available to younger women.
I say - find someone close to your own age if you can. I predict your relationship with her or him will be deeper and happier and much more fun than if you try to bridge a generation or two.
Meade, that's nice.
Some mature women have those qualities. A whole lot off them don't. Believe me, I went through the dating wringer and I met a mess of truly awful, stupid, venal and bitterly unhappy mature women.
People should make themselves happy with their choice of partner. What other people think is of no consequence.
If a man wants to make a mature woman happy, go for it. Happiness and companionship are not owed to anybody, not even mature women.
The desires and happiness of men matter, independent of what women want. Women, including your mate, are very aggressive about asserting that right for themselves.
Meade, very wise and very true.
Meade is much better looking than Hef. Although I can see the resemblance Meade looks more like a man. Someone who's active and involved with life, not just focused on his own pleasure. It's the difference between being a net giver or a net taker.
Hef may be a smart businessman, but his business is, put bluntly, the exploitation of other human beings for gain. This tends to make you look debauched.
Take it easy Shouting, I know your position. I'm just stating mine. And I know that makes me a judgmental dried up old hag, but even judgmental dried up old hags have legitimate points of view.
Jeez, Meade, you're making out pretty good here in the late innings.
That was pretty funny, sis.
Hef isn't exploiting anybody. The girls are lining up outside his house, banging on the door.
You just don't approve of what the girls want to do. That's your right.
You guys just aren't my equal.
There's another commenter to skip over.
(Though giving someone the benefit of the doubt, it may just be a Lithium deficit.)
Well, I don't approve of what they want to do, but that doesn't preclude exploitation. It's sort of like what criminals say when they get caught by a sting operation, "You set me up."
But, as you say, Hef's victims are willing and at least most of them are of age chronologically if not mentally.
I suspect a well traveled musician and a Wyoming small town prude aren't going to agree about very much. But, you are interesting ... and generous.
The women who pose for Playboy are not "victims" in any way.
They are adults who agree to do a job for a specified payment.
It's not up to you to decide how and on what terms they want to work. If you don't want to do that type of work, don't do it.
@Deb - Glad it brought a laugh, at least for a moment.
Several points on Hef:
1) No one under 45 gives a damn about Hefner. You can go on-line and get free porn videos. Its been available online for the last 15 years - or so people tell me.
2) Hef, along withe most Northern Europeans & Americans, doesn't do Hedonism very well. NE and Yanks always have to *justify* themselves. They just can't say "I like to eat, screw, and drink - that's what life is all about". Instead, they have to provide REASONS for their not believing in God and living like an animal. If you want to be a Pagan - be a Pagan - and shut the hell up.
3) People ridicule Old men having sex with young girls because it is unnatural. As Bob Wright would say, its evolution baby.
Contrary to rcocean's declaration, some people under 45 are at least interested in partying w/, er, Hefner:
The Harvard Lampoon made Hugh Hefner an honorary member last week [March 2002], in a party thrown at the Playboy Mansion. As part of the ceremony, Hefner received an award from the magazine naming him "The Best Life-Form in the History of the Universe," a conclusion supported by Jay Phelan, a UCLA professor of evolutionary biology, in a tongue-in cheek-speech. During the celebration, Hef was also presented with a Lampoon bathrobe, a paper crown and a large silver trophy.
Post a Comment