"I’m not even sure I know anyone who did that...."
Says Instapundit, who should picture a Venn diagram with: 1. people who have sex within a month of beginning a relationship, 2. people who wait a month before having sex, and 3. people who inform their acquaintances about the first time they had sex with their partner.
ADDED: After reading some more about Venn diagrams, I don't think you can picture the Venn diagram I've described — unless you can use squares instead of circles.
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Given the great variances between individuals, the amount of time you wait before bumping da uglies doesn't really make things better or worse.
Case in point. My wife of 12 years, going strong, met and she jumped me (literally) a week later. Everything's just peachy.
On the other hand, I specifically dated a woman for a month before had an opportunity to trip the light fantastic. The sex wasn't all that great (hey, even bad pizza is still...you know), and the relationship afterward was meh.
On yet another hand, I've had both incredible sex the first night meeting someone with both good and bad relationships that followed.
Time is immaterial, it would seem, as is the quality of the initial baddaboom. If you don't have good chemistry, if something doesn't pull from inside, it's not going to be good no matter how long you way or how great the first orgasm is.
way = wait...ugh
Insty will get old one day, and understand.
I know lots and lots of people who waited at least that long.
I guess I lead (or led) a boring life.
Oh so many years ago, the night I met the guy who would become the Sonic-Mate, we made a point of not doing "it".
The plan was to wait a few weeks and make it, you know, "special".
Three days later, just as I was closing the store I managed, he showed up at the front door. I let him in to give him a tour...
We toured...
We spawned!
Been together 14 1/2 years.
That's like 77 in straight years!
"Curiously, almost 40 percent of couples are essentially sexual within the first or second time they go out, but we suspect that if you asked these same couples at this early stage of their relationship – 'Do you trust this person to watch your pet for a weekend many could not answer this in the affirmative' – meaning they are more comfortable letting people into their bodies than they are with them watching their cat," Busby said.
Curiously? Nothing curious about it. That 40% is obviously the same 40% who would be willing to have sex with animals.
You know - love the one [cat, dog, goldfish] you're with.
That's like 77 in straight years!
Are you suggesting that gay men have a lack of self-control that straight men have? How do you feel about co-ed showers in the military?
lol
sonicfrog:
Um, no you didn't. That would require producing offspring.
A month? Well if I was to look at my early sex life as an investment portfolio, the only screwing I got was on the ROI.
Well if I was to look at my early sex life as an investment portfolio...
I was an overhyped dot.com startup...round about the same time period too...
Supposedly, the longer you wait, the better your chances, a corollary of which is that people who marry after living together for a while have a greater chance of divorce seem to have a higher chance of breaking up, the longer they waited to get married.
Meade said...
You know - love the one [cat, dog, goldfish] you're with.
There's more info than we need. I get this image of a threesome with Althouse, Fluffy the Guppy...
Hmmm. What if you decided to get married the day you met? I suppose that would follow their short circuiting of rationality hypothesis. Long live the irrational in love then, I suppose.
If I were Dr. Helen I'd be pissed.
Scott - Ha Ha!!!! (and touche)
holdfast - It's more about the imagery. Picture two salmon spawning in a river... That's gay sex (TMI without giving TMI)
Meade - Didn't know you were raised in Enumclaw!
"Picture two salmon spawning in a river... "
Great. Now I have an alternate version of "Lucy In The Sky" running around in my head... And it's my own fault!!!!
Ver Word: Barholi
Given, per Ambrose Bierce: Slang is... the grunt of the human hog.
Now in venn-ian terms: If X grunts slang, then it's in the class of Human Hogs.
Instapundit aka Glenn Reynolds grunts slang.
Ergo, Instapundit belongs in the class of Human Hogs.
Q E f-ing D.
(guten morgen Frau A-chen)
study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young University's School of Family Life
Smells like researcher bias. Bet if you wear longhandles with special pockets you're even happier in your relationship.
Bet if you wear longhandles with special pockets you're even happier in your relationship.
Only if they're ribbed and coated with Icy Hot.
Really? I know lots of people who waited that long or longer. Friend of mine who got married while we were law school really did save it for marriage (Shock!)
Sex makes babies (even sometimes when you try not to). How is that not a big deal?
I was an overhyped dot.com startup...round about the same time period too...
Nice. golf clap
Well in my defense, (sort of) I was pretty naieve in my youth when it came to women. Looking back using my powers of age enhanced perception, I could have probably been scoring more touchdowns than field goals if I had only gone for it on fourth and one.
@HD
When I went to college as a freshman in '88, I was coming out of four years in high school hanging out with the two best-looking, most popular guys in my school...as well as two other guys we grew up with who were both the best-looking, most popular guy at their separate high schools. I was most decidedly not either of those things...so I carried an ugly duckling's confidence (or lack therof) into college that first year.
Went straight from freshman in college to the military for six years. When I got out and went back to school, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Too easy, in fact, regardless of the fact that I still looked like a goon. Confidence, a sense of humor, and a wry turn of phrase will get you laid every time.
Yeah, so what we've learned is that Instapundit has been with a bunch of whores?!?
Confidence, a sense of humor, and a wry turn of phrase will get you laid every time.
So true.
I suppose I should add to that list, HD, ignoring (or seeming to ignore) the ladies nearby.
If you and your friends are laughing and having a good time, but don't seem to notice the women nearby, it seems to trigger some kind of biochemical LOOK AT ME DAMMIT. I don't know if they outgrow this because I pretty much gave up shady safari's around 1998, but I would have killed for that knowledge around 1988.
The real problem with early sex is that it releases a cocktail of hormones designed to increase bonding.
That bonding urge makes it much harder to move away later when you discover (s)he really is not all that solid a person.
The relationship consequently blows up some years down the line when the problems masked by sex-released bonding hormones can be ignored no longer.
Any kids get caught in the mess.
I guess I'm the prude in the crowd...
waiting isn't a time factor
My husband to be, (18 years ago) and I were both coming off of some very bad experiences wherein we were the ususpecting and cheated upon spouses. Our ex's could have been in the Guiness Book for quanity over quality.
I had already been tested for AIDs because I increased my life insurance as a single parent. When it became obvious that we were going to become serious, I insisted he get tested for AIDs as well, after all knowing where HIS ex had been, it didn't seem save......we waited until the tests came back before enthusiastically proceeding.
"I love you....but not enough to die for".
Also being older, we had already been there and done that single, hookup, one night stand as young singles. So, I guess you would get different answers to the poll if you polled older folks who had already been through the candy store more than once.
Why not wait?
I'm afraid to look at Dr Helen's blog.
Freeman,
"What if you decided to get married the day you met? "
Autobiographical? :-)
Autobiographical?
Yessir.
::So what are you doing for the next 75 years?
:I don't know, but it looks like you'll be there to find out.
Waiting a month to have sex sounds like a long time, assuming you are seeing that person every day going on dates and not having sex. But if you are busy and can only date on weekends, then you may only see that person a couple of times before doning the deed. SO it doesn't sound as long.
Thirty days of non stop dating and no nookie, sounds a bit excessive.
Though as Bill Clinton proved, oral sex isn't sex. So maybe if you're kissing and feeling but not going all the way you could last 30 days or longer.It just seems weird to have no physical contact for 30 days and thinking you'd be interested in that person physically.
Freeman,
I sorta thought you had vaguely hinted at that once, perhaps. And where you still a leftie atheist/agnostic at that point, too? How did that transition go??? :-)
A month is a long time to wait?
I'm afraid to look at Dr Helen's blog.
I'm always afraid to look there. I don't think we need to worry that Insty said something she wouldn't be okay with. Those two flaunt their anti-prudishness. NTTAWWT.
prairie wind,
"A month is a long time to wait?"
A lot depends on what your goal is. If it's to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, no, a month isn't long at all.
wv--frapoise: frappuccino drinkers as a class (usu. with pejorative meaning.)
How did that transition go?
Excellently.
The problem is that people are slaves.
They willingly have enslaved themselves to their passions, and if they ain't sticking it somewhere or jerking it or rubbing it every other day (or more), they freak out.
Can't go a whole month? Then you're no better than some dog that humps the couch all the time.
Are we really all that much happier in this hyper-sexualized society we have, where it is all sex, all the time? Wouldn't people be more happy with the ability for a little genuine self-control, to be "master of their domain," to be truly free? To be free not to have to think about sex every five minutes?
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