The inside story of my epic struggle. By Keith Olbermann.
CUT TO: The interior of Keith Olbermann’s office.
OLBERMANN
These are my bought Democratic politicians, Sir, along with Rachel and Lawrence who owe me big time. And of course my agent. He’s the one who arranged this whole thing.
GRIFFIN
Yes — Yes.
OLBERMANN
Sit down, Sir.
GRIFFIN
Well I was under the impression that you and I would talk alone.
OLBERMANN
I trust these men with my life, Sir (especially Maddow who has the biggest balls of the bunch). They are my family. If I were to ask them to leave, it would be an insult.
GRIFFIN
Well uh, it’s perfectly all right with me, but I should tell you that I am a blunt man and I intend to speak very frankly to you — maybe — more frankly than anyone in my position’s ever spoke to you before.
[OLBERMANN lights a cigarette]
The OLBERMANN family has done very well here in Secaucus. Not counting Fox’s competiton, you own, or, you control, two major time slots. The time slots were grandfathered in, so there is no problem with the board’s approval. Now, my sources tell me that — you plan to make a move against Scarborough. They tell me within a week — you’re gonna move Morning Joe out. That’s quite an expansion. However it will leave with one little technical problem. Ahh — The time slot will still be in Scarborogh’s name. And what will you do with Mika?
OLBERMANN
Mika is a good man, balls almost as big as Maddow’s…
GRIFFIN
Yeah, well let’s cut out the bullshit. I don’t want to spend any more time here than I have to. You can have the slot, the price is 250,000 dollars. Plus a monthly payment of 5% of the gross — of all four slots, Mr. Olbermann. And no more money to any Demcrat politicians, we have to maintain appearances. In fact, you will apologize to us all.
OLBERMANN
Now the price of the time slot is worth less than 20,000 dollars, am I right? The ratings at this dump are just above a public access station.
GRIFFIN
That’s right.
OLBERMANN
Now why would I ever consider paying more than that, Sir?
GRIFFIN
Because I intend to squeeze you. I don’t like your kind of people. I don’t like to see you come out to this New Jersey swampland in your weird eye glasses — dressed up in those silk suits – and try to pass yourselves off as real Network people. I’ll do business with you, but the fact is, I despise your masquerade — the dishonest way you pose yourself. Yourself, and your whole fucking family. Who do you think you are, Brian Williams?
OLBERMANN
Sir – we’re both part of the same hypocrisy. But never think it applies to my family.
GRIFFIN
All right, all right — some people have to play little games. You play yours. So lets just say that you’ll pay me because it is in your interest to pay me. But I want your answer and the money by noon tomorrow. And one more thing: don’t you contact me again — ever. From now on you deal through your agent with HR.
(then, to Maddow)
Open that door son.
[He starts to leave]
OLBERMANN
Uh, Sir — you can have my answer now if you like. My offer is this — nothing. Not even the fee for the time slot fee, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally. And you, Sir, will apologize to me publically.
I love a broad margin to my life. Sometimes, in a summer morning, having taken my accustomed bath, I sat in my sunny doorway from sunrise till noon, rapt in a revery, amidst the pines and hickories and sumachs, in undisturbed solitude and stillness, while the birds sing around or flitted noiseless through the house, until by the sun falling in at my west window, or the noise of some traveller's wagon on the distant highway, I was reminded of the lapse of time. I grew in those seasons like corn in the night, and they were far better than any work of the hands would have been. They were not time subtracted from my life, but so much over and above my usual allowance. -Thoreau
It's funny to see how Obama went in front of the GOP like a thug, knowing that he still had a solid majority in the Senate and a huge majority in the House. He was not willing to compromise. But what struck me most of all is that Obama did not even listen. He seemed to shut out all criticism.
In comments section, Althouse told me:
Face it. We have a 2-party system. I'm saying it's a good thing. So was Obama, some of the time.
I'm eagerly anticipating the day when Althouse and everyone else will realize that our beloved two-party system is on its way out.
What do you think, Althouse? Is the Tea Party now a bona-fide third party? It seems to me that they are, and that they are a minority party, but they have nonetheless proven that they are strong enough to swing certain elections their way (see Paul, Rand...)
Have to agree with Bender. Should have gotten some chocolate, Madame.
PS From the way things are going, we're all going to be very familiar with Ali's example. Peter Schiff was on FBN talking about Bernanke and QE2, saying the inflation was necessary to forestall another banking crisis and a second dip in the recession.
If the banking system is so bad, maybe it should just be allowed to fail and have done with it.
In the end, we'll probably end up with the crash and the inflation.
So I witnessed an assault about 6 months ago. A gang of 6 teenagers attacked a 10 year old boy on a bike. I intervened, people scattered, the kid rode away.
I was subpoenaed to appear at the (I assume) trial today. I didn't even know there was an arrest.
So, how do I resist the temptation to cry and blubber, I admit it! It was me! And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
"[T]he Chicago Climate Exchange (CCX) announced on Oct. 21 that it will be ending carbon trading — the only purpose for which it was founded — this year."
Mandatory carbon trading established by a cap-and-trade law is really most sincerely dead. Almost.
Just saw the story on the news yesterday...as a former Michigan person, he appears to be pretty much an embarrassment and was actually a topic of conversation on the commuter train this morning...
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25 comments:
Sorry. With that lighting, it looks like a big tub of margarine.
Andrew Shirvell is now a former assistant attorney general for the state of Michigan.
I was being charitable thinking it was butter.
Gelato? Huh. So that's what it looks like.
THE GAGFATHER, Part II
The inside story of my epic struggle. By Keith Olbermann.
CUT TO: The interior of Keith Olbermann’s office.
OLBERMANN
These are my bought Democratic politicians, Sir, along with Rachel and Lawrence who owe me big time. And of course my agent. He’s the one who arranged this whole thing.
GRIFFIN
Yes — Yes.
OLBERMANN
Sit down, Sir.
GRIFFIN
Well I was under the impression that you and I would talk alone.
OLBERMANN
I trust these men with my life, Sir (especially Maddow who has the biggest balls of the bunch). They are my family. If I were to ask them to leave, it would be an insult.
GRIFFIN
Well uh, it’s perfectly all right with me, but I should tell you that I am a blunt man and I intend to speak very frankly to you — maybe — more frankly than anyone in my position’s ever spoke to you before.
[OLBERMANN lights a cigarette]
The OLBERMANN family has done very well here in Secaucus. Not counting Fox’s competiton, you own, or, you control, two major time slots. The time slots were grandfathered in, so there is no problem with the board’s approval. Now, my sources tell me that — you plan to make a move against Scarborough. They tell me within a week — you’re gonna move Morning Joe out. That’s quite an expansion. However it will leave with one little technical problem. Ahh — The time slot will still be in Scarborogh’s name. And what will you do with Mika?
OLBERMANN
Mika is a good man, balls almost as big as Maddow’s…
GRIFFIN
Yeah, well let’s cut out the bullshit. I don’t want to spend any more time here than I have to. You can have the slot, the price is 250,000 dollars. Plus a monthly payment of 5% of the gross — of all four slots, Mr. Olbermann. And no more money to any Demcrat politicians, we have to maintain appearances. In fact, you will apologize to us all.
OLBERMANN
Now the price of the time slot is worth less than 20,000 dollars, am I right? The ratings at this dump are just above a public access station.
GRIFFIN
That’s right.
OLBERMANN
Now why would I ever consider paying more than that, Sir?
GRIFFIN
Because I intend to squeeze you. I don’t like your kind of people. I don’t like to see you come out to this New Jersey swampland in your weird eye glasses — dressed up in those silk suits – and try to pass yourselves off as real Network people. I’ll do business with you, but the fact is, I despise your masquerade — the dishonest way you pose yourself. Yourself, and your whole fucking family. Who do you think you are, Brian Williams?
OLBERMANN
Sir – we’re both part of the same hypocrisy. But never think it applies to my family.
GRIFFIN
All right, all right — some people have to play little games. You play yours. So lets just say that you’ll pay me because it is in your interest to pay me. But I want your answer and the money by noon tomorrow. And one more thing: don’t you contact me again — ever. From now on you deal through your agent with HR.
(then, to Maddow)
Open that door son.
[He starts to leave]
OLBERMANN
Uh, Sir — you can have my answer now if you like. My offer is this — nothing. Not even the fee for the time slot fee, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally. And you, Sir, will apologize to me publically.
GRIFFIN (laughing)
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
[He opens the door and walks out]
Think how easy it would be to pay off a 1950's home mortgage - in today's dollars.
A few years ago you could buy an ounce of gold for $600. Monday it hit $1,400+.
In 2007 my favorite loaf of bread cost $1.19 - today that same loaf is $2.69.
That's what inflation does, in a nutshell.
Andrew Shirvell is now a former assistant attorney general for the state of Michigan.
Good riddance.
I love a broad margin to my life. Sometimes, in a summer morning, having taken my accustomed bath, I sat in my sunny doorway from sunrise till noon, rapt in a revery, amidst the pines and hickories and sumachs, in undisturbed solitude and stillness, while the birds sing around or flitted noiseless through the house, until by the sun falling in at my west window, or the noise of some traveller's wagon on the distant highway, I was reminded of the lapse of time. I grew in those seasons like corn in the night, and they were far better than any work of the hands would have been. They were not time subtracted from my life, but so much over and above my usual allowance.
-Thoreau
Let me tell you when I think Obama really started to fall apart:
January 30, 2010. He goes to the GOP retreat promoting "the absolutely essential... the process of disagreement."
Althouse blogged about it here.
It's funny to see how Obama went in front of the GOP like a thug, knowing that he still had a solid majority in the Senate and a huge majority in the House. He was not willing to compromise. But what struck me most of all is that Obama did not even listen. He seemed to shut out all criticism.
In comments section, Althouse told me:
Face it. We have a 2-party system. I'm saying it's a good thing. So was Obama, some of the time.
I'm eagerly anticipating the day when Althouse and everyone else will realize that our beloved two-party system is on its way out.
What do you think, Althouse? Is the Tea Party now a bona-fide third party? It seems to me that they are, and that they are a minority party, but they have nonetheless proven that they are strong enough to swing certain elections their way (see Paul, Rand...)
That gelato would be a very nice finish to
chicken enchiladas
with
enchilada sauce.
Then you would be roly-poly full.
Mmm... gelato
Have to agree with Bender. Should have gotten some chocolate, Madame.
PS From the way things are going, we're all going to be very familiar with Ali's example. Peter Schiff was on FBN talking about Bernanke and QE2, saying the inflation was necessary to forestall another banking crisis and a second dip in the recession.
If the banking system is so bad, maybe it should just be allowed to fail and have done with it.
In the end, we'll probably end up with the crash and the inflation.
Weimar Republic, anyone?
So I witnessed an assault about 6 months ago. A gang of 6 teenagers attacked a 10 year old boy on a bike. I intervened, people scattered, the kid rode away.
I was subpoenaed to appear at the (I assume) trial today. I didn't even know there was an arrest.
So, how do I resist the temptation to cry and blubber, I admit it! It was me! And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
My first thought:
"Fuck, she's eating butter now."
International Masseuse Orange Alert: Al Gore's second chakra is gonna need release again.
"[T]he Chicago Climate Exchange (CCX) announced on Oct. 21 that it will be ending carbon trading — the only purpose for which it was founded — this year."
Mandatory carbon trading established by a cap-and-trade law is really most sincerely dead.
Almost.
FWIW, I never believed cap-and-trade had a chance at passing.
Ice cream in this weather?
Check out Drudge. Hillary looks like a pumpkin.
Can one of our photoshoppers make her into a a jill-o-lantern?
@Peter...
Just saw the story on the news yesterday...as a former Michigan person, he appears to be pretty much an embarrassment and was actually a topic of conversation on the commuter train this morning...
.....I suspect the x-AAG in Michigan views the world this way....
Is it made according to regelation regulations?
wv = dinial- lalalala I can't hear you!
Culver's will be in touch re: usurping their trademark.
Pogo,
I caught that, too:
Definitely not presidential.
Crack, picture her sitting on a porch in that get-up.
Trick or treat!
Crack, picture her sitting on a porch in that get-up.
And smiling.
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