May 24, 2010

What Venus wore.

I question the hat.

ADDED: The most shocking picture has been relocated. It's here. It looks NSFW, and since NSFW is really only about how things look, it is NSFW.


GMay said...

At first I thought she borrowed one of the outfits from that Future Strippers of America video last week, but then I realized - not enough skin.

Expat(ish) said...

I remembered her as having a more feminine figure than that.

Seriously, that dress would have looked curvier on Andre Agassi.

And hats look good on him too.


danielle said...

oh that's the picture you have. I thought you'd be talking about this one .

Pastafarian said...

Jesus, danielle. Too early in the day for that sort of thing. Wait til I've had a couple of stiff drinks.

I was going to say: Who stuffed Earl Campbell into a lacy bit of lingerie, and why is he holding a tennis racket?

But then I realized that this would be wrong, because I can't prove that my aversion to women with larger testicles than my own doesn't stem from some deep racism.

I also am unable to prove that my comments aren't the result of the fact that, unknown to me, I'm actually under the control of aliens from Alpha Centauri, an equally plausible explanation.

TMink said...

Ms. Williams is an accomplished athlete with no sense of style whatsoever.


She needs to put some clothes on.

Next she will complain that nobody takes her seriously.


danielle said...

Why do you say that she has 'bigger testicles' than you ? She's a slim woman. Yes, she is strong. Is that the issue ?

I get why some men are intimidated by Serena; but for Venus, it doesnt make sense to me.

oh -- and the outfit looks like lingerie. the hat doesnt fit. it should have been made w/ the lace too.

MadisonMan said...

Did Siobhan Magnus design that?

Pastafarian said...

Here’s an article that indicates that she weighs 169 pounds -- more than two men on this team.

And she doesn't really strike me as...feminine. Again, has anyone actually seen former Houston Oilers running back Earl Campbell and Ms. Williams in the same room at the same time?

Pastafarian said...

Not that there's anything wrong with that -- so long as I don't have to see it in a little frilly lace tu tu.

Ann Althouse said...

Thanks, Danielle. That picture was originally included in the group I linked to. I guess Yahoo got some complaints (esp. after Drudge linked with an irresistible teaser).

Ann Althouse said...

"Wait til I've had a couple of stiff drinks."

Drinks start at noon, per Hitchens.

Pastafarian said...

One of the men on this team who weighs more than this "slim" waif weighs 6 pounds more -- and he's 3 inches taller.

Triangle Man said...

Drinks start at noon, per Hitchens.

It's noon somewhere.

Joe said...

A picture of her face would be more NSFW.

Pastafarian said...

You know, I take that back.

Earl Campbell wouldn't look half bad in this outfit.

And for the record, Althouse, it's noon here in Ohio, and it's time for that stiff drink.

AllenS said...

Triangle Man beat me to it.

danielle said...

Pasta -- she's 6'1 ..... i suppose lindsey davenport evokes a similar response at 175, eh ?

but i think the weight is a red herring.

Its her femininity you question. is it all physically strong women ?

anyway, not that it matters. its fine if you find strong black women intimidating; but wish you were man enough to say it ! instead you insult her for not fitting into your definition of what femininity is. and that's pretty low, and pretty cowardly.

AllenS said...

I'll bet that Michelle Obama likes the outfit.

danielle said...

And why would you 'bet' that, AllenS ?

AllenS said...

It's a hunch.

danielle said...

...based on ... ?

Clyde said...

I question Venus wearing a black outfit to play tennis in the sun. Really, it had to be hotter than a lighter-colored outfit would have been. Maybe it was her way of trying to handicap herself to make the match a bit more sporting.

It's not like team sports, where players have to wear the team uniform, light or dark, and have no choice in the matter. In an individual sport like tennis, she could have chosen something that wouldn't heat up in the sun like black does. There's a good reason that the traditional tennis clothes were white; they're cooler in the sun.

h. said...

Surely the end times are coming. I agree with Danielle. And Trey. At the same time.

She's an accomplished athlete with functional strength. Maybe she's trying to push the visual contrast between stripper clothes and her athleticism.

Maybe she doesn't care anymore. If you want curvy, go watch Miss USA and all the "talent" on display there.

AllenS said...

I'll bet that Oprah is jealous of anyone who wears an outfit like that.

hillbilly said...

R. Crumb's gotta love this woman.

AllenS said...

I'll bet that everyone is wondering what danielle would look like in that outfit.

AllenS said...

Suddenly, I have this urge to go to the casino.

Darcy said...

Ugh. The really sad thing (to me) is that Venus fancies herself a clothing designer. These outfits are part of what she sells to the public as designed under her name through her company.

No taste at all. It's painful to look at.

I will admit to still preferring traditional looking tennis togs, mostly. I don't like most of what the female pros wear today.

Methadras said...

It looks like she put on a giant black doily with some butt thrown in for texture.

TMink said...

Me too Darcy. I think she is an attractive woman, but not in that.

The hat was the best part of it for me.

She could keep her hat on.


TMink said...

I feel like I am channeling Titus in my comments today.

Not as pithy as he though.

I tould like to hear his thoughts on this matter.


Darcy said...

She could keep her hat on.

LOL, Trey.

AllenS said...

One of those 50 gallon Texas hats would work.

k*thy said...

Ahh, she's trying to yank some chains and from the sounds of it, she's succeeding.

Thank God for the non-conformists.

lemondog said...

Seriously, that dress would have looked curvier on Andre Agassi.

Perhaps this Venus more to your liking.

dbp said...

I think maybe Venus was going for the "French Maid" look--not entirely successful in this attempt.

I think that she is very attractive and so can, at least partially, get away with wearing off-beat fashions.

AllenS said...

Alright, here's the problem with an outfit like that. It will limit the amount of money that sponsors are willing to spend. If that outfit is NSFW, then it will be NSFTV, limiting the amount of money going to those athletes. Not just this woman, think of the big picture, but all entrants in that particular sport, on that particular day.

Venus, has a lot of money, and she is selfish. She could care less about those who only want one, one good paycheck.

Joaquin said...

The Williams sisters have a long history of wearing outrageous attire in the opening rounds of majors.
It gets them publicity, no? ;-)

Joaquin said...

Oh, and Venus also runs an interior decorating company out of Florida.

Ralph L said...

I'm an inch taller and ten pounds lighter (and twice her age). Not quite as much boob.

Pastafarian said...

Jesus Christ on horseback, danielle. I go away for a few hours and return to find that you've called me "cowardly".

What the hell is the matter with you?

"Pasta -- she's 6'1 ..... i suppose lindsey davenport evokes a similar response at 175, eh ?"

Davenport is 1.75" taller, Danielle. And Davenport should I say this?....Fluffy. (She's a little fat, Danielle. She's fat.) So Davenport looks quite a bit heavier than Venus, despite the fact that she's nearly 2 inches taller and only 6 pounds heavier.

Because Williams is built like a brick shit-house -- she's composed of rock-hard dense muscle.

Like Earl Campbell.

And I don't see Davenport playing tennis in a g-string. (Thank heaven for small miracles).

Were you trying to imply that I'm motivated by racism, with the Davenport comparison?

Now, I had no intention of going into this level of detail with respect to the physical appearance of a woman. But you had to press the point and make it into a pissing contest.

"its fine if you find strong black women intimidating; but wish you were man enough to say it !"

What has black to do with it, little-d-danielle? I don't find her intimidating; I find her absurd, dressed up in that outfit. It's like putting a dainty little bow in Randall "Tex" Cobb's hair.

"instead you insult her for not fitting into your definition of what femininity is."

Well, MY definition of femininity requires the fem to have some feminine traits, beyond the absence of a Y chromosome and the presence of a ducky instead of a dicky. But that's me. I don't look at a picture of Brian Urlacher in a little black dress and think "Damn, she's fine". I'm quirky that way.

And I'm not criticizing her for how she looks -- I'm criticizing her for a clothing choice as inappropriate on her as it would be on me.

edutcher said...

OK, the outfit is something a woman wears for a 'private' match.

Hoc dictu, Ms Williams proves that there's nothing wrong with most women's behinds that well-toned musculature won't cure.

Moose said...

Is it too late to call Venus a twunt?

Paul Ciotti said...

Venus clearly wants to show her impressive breasts. I don't know why she doesn't just dispense with her top entirely. Play the match in Speedos.

Of course maybe she just wants to show off her musculature, of which she also has a lot. I wouldn't look that good if I mixed steroids with my Wheaties every day.

danielle said...

At the end of a long dissertation that began with talk about testicles, and moves from weight (fluffy vs brick house), to Earl Campbell body type comparisons, to duckys and dickies and chromosomes....Pasta concludes with the claim "And I'm not criticizing her for how she looks -- I'm criticizing her for a clothing choice as inappropriate on her as it would be on me."

sure, Pasta. its the clothing choice, not how she looks.

AllenS said...

danielle, would you please post a profile picture. Something like a Venus let it all hang out picture. I'd really like that.

danielle said...

why, AllenS ? what are you trying to figure out and why ?

you still havent answered the question of why you think Michelle and Oprah would approve ?

Big Mike said...

You're right about that being NSFW.

David said...

I love the caption from AP on the "relocated" picture.

USA's Venus Williams returns the ball to Switzerland's Patty Schnyder during their first round match of the French Open tennis tournament at the Roland Garros stadium in Paris, Sunday, May 23, 2010.

Cedarford said...

MadisonMan said...
Did Siobhan Magnus design that?

That's funny!

Both Venus and Serena are fashion and jewelry designers. They actually make MONEY on their works and collections. As in tennis, Serena appears to be the much better of the two.

As for the beautiful but daffy Siobhan Magnus, my wife, who follows this sort of stuff and only tuned in to Idol to check out what Magnus would do..said Magnus was getting great reviews from stylists. Who understand this is a teen with an almost open Idol budget, who is experimenting and sampling various style elements Siobhan may want to make her own down the road. And that she showed real thinking and taste in some of her selections and hairstyle tweaks.
She believes that Magnus is highly intelligent and qite creative underneath the daffiness. She got a couple thousand a week to experiment, gets to keep all her swag...and entertained most people in the process.

Serena netted about half a million last year just on her clothing line. No doubt she knows the method to Magnus's madness. People laughed at Serena's outfits. Now many laugh at Siobhan while wearing Serena gear.

As for the other Idolettes, the ones dumped before Siobhan preferred gowns, while the frontrunner Bowersox prefers clothes she found while dumpster diving outside a dilapidated hippie compound 6 years ago.

I think Venus's look is insane, so does the missus. No one will wear that tennis design but her. Serena's designs look pretty good actually - bold touching on garish, but suited to an Alpha female.

And I'll take looking at Siobhan - fashion disasters and all, over homeless-looking Crystal. Magnus is easy on the eyes. Looking at Crystal makes you want to fish in your pocket for a dollar and ask her to spend it on soap and toothpaste, not wine.

David said...

Re "Davenport"

Her body was destined. There's very little she can do about it. And she's big but--at least when she was playing tennis--not fat.

I knew Davenport's dad when he was in college. She has exactly the same body type he did--tall (he was 6'6"), not classic proportions, looks flabby but isn't. Her dad looked a like a very tall schmoo, but was an outstanding athlete, very quick and graceful. Lindsey inherited all of these traits, so give her a break.

Lindsey is also very smart.

Sadly, according to news reports, she and her dad have been estranged for a long time.

smitty1e said...

So, now, you've questioned the hat.
What said that headwear?

JAL said...

Headwear said same thing as tennis outfit.

EleVen -- her clothing line.

JAL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Iapetus said...

Big booty is part of black rap culture. You white folks should stop being such racists. If Venus has the balls to play tennis in a thong or with a wedgie to show off her vast, impressive, uh, musculature, then who are you to tell her no?

Pastafarian said...

lapetus said: "If Venus has the balls..."

My point precisely, lapetus. Venus does have balls. Big, hairy ones. And I no more want to see her in that ridiculous little outfit than I'd like to see Brian Urlacher in it.

I'm sorry, lapetus and danielle; but when someone serves 130mph, like a man (10mph faster than any of her contemporaries), because they have great big muscles, like a man, then they don't also get to parade around and pretend to be feminine -- at least not without looking ridiculous.

Not that there's anything wrong with non-feminine women. (I'll say it again for little-d-danielle). She has every right to be as huge as she is, to ingest whatever powerful animal steroids she's ingested and subscribe to whatever Ukranian power lifter's workout regimine that she does to achieve this physique. What's wrong is when that person then masquerades as something they're not.

And I'm sick to death of having to pretend that this is pretty, to avoid giving offense, or to toe the politically correct line.

Racist? Bullshit. I'd say the same of Martina Navratilova, if she'd ever been stupid enough to play tennis in a stripper outfit.