(1) I took a survey course in cultural anthropology. The overarching lesson was that primitive customs may seem foolish to us but they actually serve practical purposes better than available alternatives.
That said, I’m glad this dog marriage/tooth omen thing wasn’t on the final.
My best answer would have to have something to do with securing access to employer-paid canine dental insurance.
(2) YANOMAMO ARE FIERCE!!!
* coughs up blood *
(3) [Homer is purchasing goods at the Kwik-E-Mart.]
HOMER: Apu, I see you’re not in church.
APU: Oh, but I am. I have a shrine to Ganesha, the god of worldly wisdom, located in the employee lounge.
HOMER: Hey, Ganesha, want a peanut?
APU: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
HOMER: No offense, Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you must have been out taking a wizz.
APU: Mr. Simpson! Please pay for your services . . . and . . . come again!
I just want all of you to bear in mind -- any time you see stories like this -- that each Sunday millions of Americans eat a chunk of Jesus Christ and drink his blood like vampires.
Wait, I thought the man-dog marriages were gonna happen if Prop 8 didn't pass. There must be some terrible mistake!
Seven, It's not "like vampires", we are vampires. When Jesus told Thomas to touch the wounds on his side and hands, it was actually the bite marks on his neck. Also, my skin is iridescent in sunlight.
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10 comments:
I'll say it: His wife really is a bitch.
What? Did the novelty of cow urine go out of style?
If they had only gotten the ape and the dog together...they coulda worked it all out!
(1) I took a survey course in cultural anthropology. The overarching lesson was that primitive customs may seem foolish to us but they actually serve practical purposes better than available alternatives.
That said, I’m glad this dog marriage/tooth omen thing wasn’t on the final.
My best answer would have to have something to do with securing access to employer-paid canine dental insurance.
(2) YANOMAMO ARE FIERCE!!!
* coughs up blood *
(3) [Homer is purchasing goods at the Kwik-E-Mart.]
HOMER: Apu, I see you’re not in church.
APU: Oh, but I am. I have a shrine to Ganesha, the god of worldly wisdom, located in the employee lounge.
HOMER: Hey, Ganesha, want a peanut?
APU: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
HOMER: No offense, Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you must have been out taking a wizz.
APU: Mr. Simpson! Please pay for your services . . . and . . . come again!
-- “Homer the Heretic” (1992)
Keep repeating: all cultures are equal, all cultures are equal, all cul.....
Certainly we need to send in the Mormons - they'll straighten it out.
I just want all of you to bear in mind -- any time you see stories like this -- that each Sunday millions of Americans eat a chunk of Jesus Christ and drink his blood like vampires.
It's just a ceremony, naturally.
And we are supposed to pretend that all cultures and peoples are equal.
I know, let's import as many primative people as possible, teach them how to vote!
Wait, I thought the man-dog marriages were gonna happen if Prop 8 didn't pass. There must be some terrible mistake!
Seven,
It's not "like vampires", we are vampires. When Jesus told Thomas to touch the wounds on his side and hands, it was actually the bite marks on his neck. Also, my skin is iridescent in sunlight.
I knew a guy in college that married a dog. I think he was confused about that whole 'licking his balls" joke.
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