December 31, 2008

I'm quite serious about replacing the depressing Father Time/Baby New Year with the New Year's Tick.

I like to frontpage comments, you know, and now and then, I need to frontpage my own comments. This is one of those times.

There was that "tick" post on New Year's Eve Eve (i.e., last night):
"New Year to arrive a tick later."

Oh! A tick!
Ricpic waxes poetic:
The New Year came in wobbly.
A tick or two behind.
It threw off lonely sticklers.
The rest? They didn't mind.
And Stephanie says:
?retal kcot a evirra ti t'nseoD
(Wait a sec, I have to do this.)

Then blogging cockroach says...
tou ieduv siht kcehc einahpets yeh
... and links to this:

That drives reader_iam to poesy:
i do love the backwards elements of the cockroach nature
as don't we all
or at least should
if not ought
Blogging cockroach responds in kind:
that should be tuo
which proves i ve had too much
spilled cheap merlot tonight
to be hopping around backwards
lookout when the champaign flows
tomorrow night wheee
which i hope doesn t turn into
anyway here is tick tock gone bad
and too long
but you can stop it when it
ceases being funny about 40 seconds in
hey they can t all be gems
and i promise never to trip
trippingly to reader s ear
a cockroach doing that would
freak some people out
but just don t sleep on the kitchen floor
and we ll all be fine
Chip Ahoy says:

.diputs era stac yhW

dnuora gnifoog tsuj s'ti swohs swollof taht oediv etunim 4 ehT .yllaer toN
The cockroach continues to inspire reader_iam:
ah but cockroach
your trips are tweets to the ear
like birds in dawn of spring s own dawn
here here see here they sing
back again as always are we
so wake up
if only, and to ...
The cockroach skitters on across the keyboard again:
not having the vers libre poet in me
i fear my prosaic nature sometimes
misses the subtleties of
dear reader s lovely lines
which is not to say
reader should not write
a lot more of them
because you always want more
when someone doesn t quite
write enough rather than when
they write too much
which is also true about food
but i m not as appreciative when
the cook has cleaned up
too well afterwards
Then, when everyone is nestled all snug in their beds, I am awake. It's 2:23 a.m.:
And where is everyone? Last night, you guys were talking all night, and now here I am with insomnia and no one is around.

Were you afraid of the tick?

Thanks for all the poetry, but it was all before midnight. If you can't stay up until midnight tonight, how do you expect to celebrate New Year's Eve tomorrow night?

I think I'll try to draw a picture of the New Year's Tick. Or see if I can get people to send pictures of the New Year's Tick. And I'm going to push for the adoption of the New Year's Tick as the new New Year's mascot, replacing that stupid — and frankly depressing — Old Man and Baby mascot. Or the Ball. What the hell kind of symbol is a Ball?

I hope that doesn't offend blogging cockroach. You must understand that we can't have a cockroach as a holiday symbol. Not for New Year's anyway.

This insomnia is giving me grandiose thoughts, but I really think this New Year's Tick thing can catch on. Perhaps if we draw it the right way. I think Santa Claus wasn't such a big deal until those Coca Cola ads got the character drawn just the right way. People loved him once his attributes became appealing and standardized.

Help me do that with the Tick.

Also, that "Night Before Christmas" poem helped with the popularization of Santa Claus, so maybe some of you poets can write something similarly beguiling about the annual arachnid.

Inside the kitty cat wall clock he hid/Our eagerly awaited arachnid.

See? I can't do it!

An arthropod/From God/Trod...

No... I need help with the poem. And with the drawing. And with the sleeping.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds/Not knowing the Tick crept so close to their heads....
(Links added.)

In the cold light of morning — and it's — I can see these are not mere insomniac ravings. I really do want drawings — or photoshoppings — of the New Year's Tick. I will reward you with frontpagings and tags. More poems too. I love the poems and the depictions of ticks — detickshuns, if you will.

We went out in the icy snow and celebrated last night. Tonight we stay in. I'll be live-blogging New Year's Eve, so please join me. I will reward you profusely with frontpagings and tags... and ticks.


Unknown said...

0 degrees? Ah, we spent the afternoon in the pool at the Lost Pines resort, and finished the evening making smores. I love how Texas gives us these respites between blasts of Arctic cold! Today is cooler but we still have a rich agenda of outdoor fun for New Year's Eve. I won't be joining the live blog but I wish all the Althousr gang a happy and prosperous new year...

sonicfrog said...

Replacing Father Time / Baby New Year with The Tick!... and Arthur.

(somebody had to go there)

Jim said...


Eli Blake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eli Blake said...

And just when I was ready to say I couldn't stand another second of the Bush administration...

What do I get? Another second of the Bush administration


Richard Fagin said...

Ordinarily I'd think this was really funny, but we've had an outbreak of deer ticks this fall that even Frontline won't keep off the dogs. I have to give 'em the once over after almost every walk. They're really creepy looking little buggers, and when they're gorged with blood they're donright gross. Blecchh!!

TitusClassof87 said...

I watched Rudolph's New Year's special last night.

The baby new year had big ears and everyone laughed at him.

My gaydar sensed that the baby new year was a mo.

Did you know there is jewdar as well as gaydar?

Eli Blake said...

Some predictions for the New Year:

January: In his last act in office, President Bush will issue a full and unconditional pardon to Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. A few days later, Blagojevich's choice for the seat will withdraw and he will name Karl Rove, who it is learned made a successful bid on a home on the foreclosure block in Cicero. All three of them will deny there was a deal.

Barack Obama will deliver a riveting inaugural speech. After that Joe Biden will rewind the teleprompter and give it again.

February: The unemployment rolls will swell with former members of the Bush administration. As part of his economic stimulus plan, Obama will offer them jobs earning $12 an hour welding steel girders as part of bridge replacement projects.

March: Following slow sports book on the Super Bowl and March madness, the Casino industry becomes the latest American industry to ask for a bailout. They will ask for $20 billion. When Congress balks industry executives will offer 'double or nothing' over a hand of poker.

April: Congress passes an amnesty bill making all undocumented immigrants who have not been convicted of a felony American citizens. They will avoid a filibuster by letting John McCain write the bill. The first fallout from this will occur almost immediately as a resolution is passed in the California legislature by a coalition that we quickly rehabilitate the image of the United States by renaming the country, "Los Estados Unidos."

Also in April, the booze industry will ask for a bailout. After sending a whole lot of free product to Capitol Hill for an all-night session, they will be approved for "twenty-shicksh hundred and a gazillion dollars."

Also in April, the Detroit Lions will draft Oklahoma Quarterback Sam Bradford first in the NFL draft. Bradford will refuse to play for the Lions unless they pay him $150 million up front and give him a car company. Desperate, Detroit agrees. Bradford takes over control of General Motors.

May: The U.S. Supreme Court upholds gay marriage. Almost immediately, pastor Ted Haggard will become the first pastor to officiate at his own wedding as he ties the knot with former Idaho Senator Larry Craig.

June: In order to shock people, Britney Spears will have her eyeballs pierced. Nobody will notice.

Also in June, the pharmaceutical industry will ask for a bailout. They don't need one but what the hey?-- they have the best lobbyists and they know they can get anything they want.

July: In order to shock people, Britney Spears will cut her ear off. Nobody will notice.

Also in July, the coffee industry will ask for a bailout. They will get it after congressional staffers realize that without it there might be no more cappucino.

August: In order to shock people, Britney Spears will have her face removed. Nobody will notice.

Also in August, American forces will capture Osama bin Laden in a cave along the Pakistan/Afghanistan border. He will be caught when he steps outside during a rainstorm to take a shower.

September: Britney Spears will have the first face transplant for purely cosmetic purposes. People will notice-- mainly because the donor will be Jack Nicholson.

October: Robert Mugabe, running out of excuses and people to blame for his countries' ongoing economic crisis, will unleash a torrent of violence against the nation's animal population. Gangs of Mugabe thugs will beat
zebras for not being 'black enough.'

Also in October, the Obama administration will negotiate a comprehensive and lasting peace between Israel and the Palestinians. Combined with other peace intiatives the fallout will be immediate, as the arms industry asks for a bailout. They will be approved.

November: Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will pardon another turkey. Specifically, she will say she bears no ill feelings towards John McCain.

Also in November, an financially troubled American industry will ask for a bailout and finally be denied by Congress. Shortly thereafter Phillip Morris, Liggett and RJR will file for bankruptcy.

December: Christ will make his second appearance on earth. It will turn out that he grew up in meager surroundings, the son of undocumented immigrants in east L.A., living in the tenements and attending public schools. A lot of people will be saying, "uh-oh."

Ann Althouse said...

"really creepy looking little buggers..."

Think how creepy mice were before Mickey.

Eli Blake said...

Oh, and one I forgot to make:

There will be a push from the administration to legalize marijuana. The first clue that it is coming will be when the new Surgeon General is announced as Cheech Marin.

Kev said...

I love the backward-osity of some of the comments you spotlighted above. Quite a few years ago, a friend and I were bored while conversing on AIM and started having entire conversations that were typed that way.

.pot ot mottob tub ,sdrawkcab nettirw ylno ton saw taht tsop golb eritne na etorw I ,gnineve emas tahT

Peter Hoh said...

It's the tick before New Year's,
And all through the house,
All the creatures were waiting,
Right down to the louse.

Stephanie said...

I'm glad some of y'all liked my backwards posting.

I just got to wondering why Ann blogged the front half of the word tick-tock and not the back half. Why would the clock add the beginning - tick and not the ending - tock?

Is the tick or the tock like the reason people get married at 7:30 not 7 (has to do with being married on the upswing of the minute hand- optimist vs the downswing pessimist). So are Ann and most folks who refer to the extra "tick" pessimists?

Then I went to wondering if it reflected a propensity to dyslexia and OCD that I wondered about the hanging tick.

So, I backwardsed the comment and posed the question. Which no one has addressed...

Is it a tick (down) year or a tock (up) year?

And if 2008 ends on a tick, does 2009 start on the tock and end with a tick? And does that mean you predict it will be a down year or an up year?

AlgonquinS said...

Two predictions:

1. Leinenkugel's Brewery in Chippewa Falls, WI. will announce record profits for the year.

2. AllenS's waistline will get bigger.

reader_iam said...

In honor of this thread (since I can't animate or draw for jack) I've added this to tonight's menu, though I plan to dink around with it a bit and will have to do two versions.

(I am also doing modified pigs-in-blankets and tater thingies in honor of Troop, but that's a whole 'nother thing.)

Anonymous said...

My predictions for 2009, and remember, you read them first here:

NY Senate Seat - Following the debacle of considering Caroline Kennedy to fill the seat vacated by Hillary Clinton, New York Governor David Paterson will hold open auditions for the role. A panel of judges will conclude that Robert DeNiro gave the most effective audition, and Paterson will appoint him to the Senate. DeNiro will begin his first Senate speech by saying "Are you looking at me?" several times.

IL Senate Seat - Following the debacle of believing that Senate Democrats would welcome an African-American into that august body, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich will withdraw the appointment of former state Attorney General Ray Burris and appoint federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald will take the Senate seat appointment because it includes a $1 million townhouse in Georgetown as a gift from the 'Friends of Blago', a Chicago charity organization that aids widows, orphans and Irish attorneys.

Oprah Winfrey Relocates - Oprah Winfrey will buy a 50,000 SF fixer-upper in DC and will also relocate Harpo Studios to our nation's capitol. Her new show, energized by the election of Barack Obama, will be staged in the East Wing of the White House, and include members of the Obama administration as daily guests. A regular feature will be the "Barry Cam", in which a small camera will be attached to President Obama so viewers can watch as he goes through his daily routine.

Kenya Chic - All things Kenyan will become hip, cool and necessary for the wealthy elite. This will include vacations to Kenya (staying near the Obama family compound), wearing of Kenyan-inspired clothing to cocktail parties and other social gatherings, excessive suntanning, and self-starvation in order to look like a Kenyan marathon runner. Speaking with a Swahili accent will replace the faux British accent in the State Department.

Changes at State Department - Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will implement substantial and wide-ranging changes at the State Department. Included in those changes will be new policies that allow the Sec State to sign bills into law, be elected for a four term, send bills to Congress for action, maintain a standing military, and levy taxes. The Sec States responsibility will be expanded to include the US, which is, after all, a nation.