September 7, 2008

Maureen Dowd, assuming Obama will lose because he didn't pick Hillary, pictures the great Hillary-Palin presidential debate in 2012.

It's like this:
PALIN: I’ve got a little news flash for you, Hillary. Your night-shift, blue-collar-waitress, boilermaker routine didn’t fool me. It’s in your polls but it’s in my D.N.A. I’ve actually been up at 3 a.m. — gutting moose. While you got to go to your snooty Wellesley, I had to switch colleges six times in six years. While you got to go to Yale Law, I had to enter beauty contests and turn my back to judges in a bathing suit to get scholarship money.

CLINTON: I’ve got a little news flash for you, Annie Oakley. Dinosaurs disappeared a lot longer than 4,000 years ago. I admit you’ve had a profound influence on America, and I’m not just talking about all the women wearing up-dos and rimless titanium $375 Kazuo Kawasaki designer frames. You and John are now at war with four countries — Russia, Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan, even as Osama bin Laden has opened a storefront in a strip mall in Pakistan to make TV ads.
(I added those links.)

Does Dowd's comic vision of the 2012 debate amuse you? Maybe not, but I think the picture of Hillary versus Sarah in 2012 is compelling. That could happen.

Meanwhile, we have the little preview of that scenario as Obama attempts to dispatch Hillary as his female surrogate to attack Palin, which is a dubious strategy. Will Hillary fight for Obama with enough vigor to make Democrats believe she's the one to go up against Vice President Palin in 2012? Maybe she'll fight harder for Obama if she thinks that question is about to come up. Fight well, but how do you fight just well enough?

53 comments:

Lem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lem said...

...make Democrats believe she's the one to go up against Vice President Palin in 2012?

That is a very tall order. It assumes that many democrats are giving up on Obama because Palin made a good speech... hmm

Hillary thought she was the partys legitimate heir, why should she believe in anything the party says again?

Lem said...

When I read Maureen, sometimes I think she is looking to channel the anti-Dennis Miller just long enough for a column.

Pithy... enough to keep her a member of a club Bloomberg had to downgrade to while shelling millions just so he can get invited.

Lem said...

The two women are both aggressive pols who take disagreement personally, accruing a body count of rivals, and who have been known to exaggerate their accomplishments.

Ah.. un pie de amigo.

Its the use of a friend (real to the reader/listener) to bolster an apparent even handed comment while the real purpose is to attack w/o evidence someone you don't like.

Lem said...

By 2012, the 76-year-old John McCain will be on his way out.

By 2012 McCain's mother will be 102-years-old.

Irrelevant? Still very easy to fisk.

Lem said...

The Onion turned her down.

Ron said...

Giant Mud Pit. White House Lawn. Hillary. Palin. Dowd-Coulter undercard. Noonan Ring Card Girl. Pay-per-view.

That's my budget balancing plan, and I'm stickin' to it! :)

vbspurs said...

Jobs held by Sarah Palin:

Babysitter*
Waitress
Sportscaster
Fisherwoman
Politician

I had no idea Hillary waitressed. She doesn't look the type to remove plates from disgruntled truckers for a 50 cent tip, back in the day. If Hillary were Irish, she'd definitely be lace-curtain.

(I know. It was just a literary device as employed by the Divine Miss Dowd)

*Which annoyingly is called "babysister" in Spain for whatever reason. Just thought I'd throw that out there as a tidbit.

Cheers,
Victoria

blake said...

The excerpt's not very good. For example,

You and John are now at war with four countries — Russia, Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan,

putting Iraq in there smacks of wanting to lose, even as doing so becomes increasingly difficult. It also suggests a very static four years.

Plus, there's no humor. Try this:

You and John are now at war with four countries — Russia, Iran, Afghanistan and Hawaii

See what I did there? Hawaii? It's not even a country! Did Obama go back and secede?

That's satire, people. Look into it.

blake said...

who have been known to exaggerate their accomplishments.

"I remember landing under sniper fire. I didn't even know the moose had firearms." -- Sarah Palin, exaggerating her accomplishments in "Black Moose Down".

Ron said...

VPMILF really stands for Vice Presidental Moose Independent Liberation Front.

rhhardin said...

All cage and no bird is good. Ony 9 google hits and all of them Dowd.

bearbee said...

re: Hillary, second run bids for presidential candidate don't seem to work out, looking to the public like yesterday news. Other names and new faces will rise to the top of the heap.

Aside from his 2004 speech, who knew Obama 4 years ago.

BTW didn't watch much of either convention, Were there any rising stars featured?

rhhardin said...

The New Yorker long, long ago carried a news story about a restaurant holdup where the waitress declined to get the robber money from the register. ``Get it yourself.''

The New Yorker's addition was ``We know that waitress.''

rhhardin said...

I ran swiss screw machines for a summer job. It's like waitressing.

Bissage said...

Maureen Dowd missed an obvious one. In the year 2012, Vice President Palin will be able to take credit for the millions of little girls across America who want to grow up to be pretty like a cosmetics saleswoman at Macy's.

Mo MoDo said...

The "all cage and no bird" is rerun from one of her columns in February. The best I can figure is that it alludes to Obama's endorsement by Maya Angelou.

I say in my blogpost today that Palin's $375 glasses are a good match for McCain's $500 Ferragamo shoes.

Anonymous said...

...Osama bin Laden has opened a storefront in a strip mall in Pakistan...

Dowd says that like it's a bad thing. As long as we keep them out of our borders, who cares? An Obama win will more likely result in bin Laden setting up shop on Long Island.

On another note, it's funny to see the left ripping Palin for being a beauty pageant contestant, as if there's something degrading about that. Aren't these the same people who don't find anything objectionable or degrading about pornography?

LutherM said...

HILLARY said she thinks she read Machiavelli - and repeats aloud long passages while sleeping.

On the other hand, SARAH smiles, making great speeches - reminding us of Huey P. Long.

Damon Runyon said “The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.”

In any closely contested political campaign, with equally articulate candidates, the one with the smarter advisors has the edge.

I'd bet that BILL CLINTON has a higher IQ than TODD PALIN.

rhhardin said...

Beauty contests are run by women for women. They're a celebration by women of their attractiveness to men. Men don't watch them. If they're able, they'll enter barnyard animals in the contests as a statement.

Porn is run for men looking to get rid of an obsession. It weakens bargaining position of actual women.

But they don't want that bargaining position anyway, right? That would be degrading.

AllenS said...

I'll be my horse has a higher IQ than LutherM.

s1c said...

Of course if "the O" loses, it will be because he has to keep on proving that he is more qualified than the #2 on the other ticket.

I just don't think losing the argument about being better than the #2 is a winning strategy, but then again when you keep on comparing yourself to JC (he was a community organizer along with John the Baptist don't you know), you are bound to be found wanting.

Meade said...

Too funny! blake at the top of his game.
Ron too.

Meade said...

*Which annoyingly is called "babysister" in Spain for whatever reason. Just thought I'd throw that out there as a tidbit.

Babysistersitter, Piperspitswiper

KCFleming said...

Debate? Well first we have to see if Hillary is willing to play Tonya Harding to Palin's Nancy Kerrigan

The Drill SGT said...

Does Dowd's comic vision of the 2012 debate amuse you?

It would have amused me more if it had been more balanced. As it was the Clinton sections attacked Palin and the Palin sections attacked Palin as well.

MoDo: Bias we can count on

Anonymous said...

"Of course if 'the O' loses..."

If he loses and he decides to run again in 2012 I daresay he'll need to have actually accomplished something concrete in the interim to even be competitive. I don't think it will fly for him to have spent four more years hanging out in the US Senate making vague speeches about change. That boat won't sail a second time.

Then again, didn't Michelle say we would only have one chance to elect Barack Obama? If that's true, I guess by 2012 the danger will be past.

Anonymous said...

AA is already putting that new NYT subscription to work.

I hope this is not a presage to daily cites of their editorial page.

On the other hand, AA could narrate their continuing downward spiral into Chapter 7 or 11.
Use with caution AA. Please.

carly said...

Hillary going on the warpath for Obama to appeal to women will be a HUGE help--to McCain/Palin. Fingers crossed that she goes all out! The Palin selection obviously helps that team most with middle class MEN, some of whom might have forgotten how much Hillary makes them cringe...

I don't rule out the possibility that the Clinton's KNOW this; and that their plan to defeat Barry is to have her out there in full, loud, angry Hillary mode to ensure that it works.

KCFleming said...

Ever since Palin's nomination, I can see Hillary Cheshire catting in the background.

"Please, would you tell me," said Barry, a little timidly, ... "why your cat grins like that?"

"It's a Clinton cat," said the ex-President, "and that's why."

Roger J. said...

MoDo: making shit up for 30 years. The wonder team of Krugman, Dowd, Herbert and Rich goes a long way to explain the slide of that paper. I long for the days of Tony Lewis (who I couldnt stand but at least was honest), Scotty Reston, and the rest of a decent op ed page.

Unknown said...

Yep, it would be interesting. Hillary in those dowdy pants suits with her black Dr. Scholls and Palin in the latest business designer clothing.

J. Cricket said...

Althouse has apparently run out of ideas. Clinton v. Palin. That is so yesterday's news. And you already blogged about it. Gawd you're getting tiresome.

Unknown said...

Hillary Clinton:
Went to College
Went to Law School
Married Bill Clinton
Was a second rate lawyer
Got jobs because of Bill
Stayed married to Bill
Followed Bill to White House
Stayed married to Bill
Elected to Senate because Rudy got sick
Stayed married to Bill
Did nothing in Senate
Stayed married to Bill

Sum of accomplishments- She stayed married to Bill.

Folks that is feminism in action.

Meade said...

"Fight well, but how do you fight just well enough?"

All Hillary has to do is appear to be fighting on the side of Obama.

The Republicans will take care of the rest for her even when they replay Hillary's own words against O. during the primaries. And when the dust settles her hands will appear to be clean.

After that, for 2012, she will need to find a way to lose the Big Creep.

(*Special note to George X: Pound sand, asshole.)

William said...

Maureen Dowd's first responsibility is not to be right but to be read. She is witty and funny. I usually disagree with her but what she does she does well....Sarah Palin's first responsibility as VP candidate is not to be ready for the Presidency but to help get McCain elected President. Maureen Dowd is witty, and Sarah Palin wins votes for Republicans. Other considerations are secondary....Why should Hillary be any more the inevitable candidate of 2012 than she was in 2008? Hillary is more the sort of person who grows crustier rather than softer with age.

Unknown said...

It will not be a great debate. It will be a debate of style and substance versus, um, well, gee, another old senator who wants to run for President.

rhhardin said...

NYT disparagers have forgotten the days of C.L.Sulzberger

1966 radio ad real audio, Jean Shepherd.

Unknown said...

William, that's an interesting way of putting it. It's clear that Sarah Palin (or her campaign handlers) see her priorities that way, too. She spends most of the time in her stump speeches building up John McCain.

Unknown said...

If the messiah loses, he loses. America has to have a Black President. We must make history. It is so important to heal the wonds of the past; excuse me while I gag.

If Obama loses, Jesse Jackson jr. will be waiting in the wings to pick up the Democratic torch.

There are more women on both sides to make history too.

Between now and 2012 there will be a lot of blood in the water.

Asante Samuel said...

It's beginning to sound like 'Return of the Jedi'. Howard and Nancy and The rest of the Obamaniacs will be hiding their furry little Ewok ears in the urban undergrowth, hiding furtively as the Imperial Clinton stormtroopers exterminate the remaining rebels of the breakaway Chicago wing.

Alas, there is no happy ending for our spunky rebels. Their discipline, never good, disintegrates into finger pointing and name calling, led by Dowd and the Times. Those that are allowed to remain on the stage will be Hillary's bitches forever.

They always were such children.
Even though they did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Talk about experience. I see another book in our future 'The Presumptuousness of Pessimism'.

zeek said...

Maureen Dowd is an attractive woman, especially when she's a little boozed up as she was on Bill Maher's show a few years ago, but not a very good columnist. I've only been reading her occasionally for the past few years. Was she ever... better? I'm not talking about which way she leans politically.

Roger J. said...

the democrats have gone from Arkansas machine politics to southside chicago machine politics--Boy THAT change you can believe in

Automatic_Wing said...

I think MoDo's description of the right-wing dystopia that will inevitably follow a Palin/McCain victory is pretty much the same list of horrible crap that was supposed to happen if Bush beat Kerry.

Being MoDo has got to be the easiest job in the world...just copy and paste the liberal cliches from four years ago, change the names and your work for the week is done.

bearbee said...

If he loses and he decides to run again in 2012 I daresay he'll need to have actually accomplished something concrete in the interim to even be competitive. I don't think it will fly for him to have spent four more years hanging out in the US Senate making vague speeches about change. That boat won't sail a second time.

Nixon came back after 8 years of non-whining, more or less, in the wilderness, having written a book and having lost a California gubernatorial race.

Obama could take a shot at the Illinois Gubernatorial in 2 years to go or maybe Hawaii also 2 years. Guest co-host Oprah to keep in the public spotlight.

Hillary book: Winning Through Whining: A Strategy Revisited.

...supposed to happen if Bush beat Kerry.

Isn't that happening: bank bailouts, bankrupt financial institutions, housing collapse, crashing dollar, soaring prices on commodities, increasing debt.....?

Automatic_Wing said...

sn't that happening: bank bailouts, bankrupt financial institutions, housing collapse, crashing dollar, soaring prices on commodities, increasing debt.....?

No, I'm talking about what is actually in MoDo's column - abortion banned, mandatory christianity in school, global warming run amok, etc. - these mostly cultural rather than economic issues.

I certainly don't recall anyone supporting Kerry based on the idea that he could prevent the housing bubble from popping, nor do I recall Kerry offering a plan to slow down rising home prices.

Chip Ahoy said...

Does Dowd's comic vision of the 2012 debate amuse you?

No, it doesn't actually. Sorry to be a downer. I'll just wait for the MAD Magazine version of imagined dialogue instead.

Dowd thought it was "delicious," that's all that matters.

Unknown said...

Ok, here is what is going to happen. When the VP debates are ste in stone, Obama is going to send Biden on an emergency fact finding mission to Mongolia. He will substitute Hillary for Biden.

Hillary will be forced to debate Sarah.

Unknown said...

"I'd bet that BILL CLINTON has a higher IQ than TODD PALIN."

Yea, Bill and his big IQ was the key to Hillary's big win in the primary.

Unknown said...

Pogo, I think Hillary is actually playing the part of Jeff Gillooly and his buds, with Obama, never more fetching, as Tonya Harding.

Tonya wasn't the leg breaker, her surrogates were...

blake said...

F15C beat me to it: Hillary = Giloolie.

Giloolie. Giloolie.

rhhardin said

I ran swiss screw machines for a summer job. It's like waitressing.

Sounds more like pimpin' at the UN.

PatCA said...

Sara switched colleges six times? I switched three!

I love her even more!

Sigivald said...

As blake said... Iraq?

The US isn't "at war with" Iraq now, though I imagine Dowd doesn't realize that.

(Technically, the US isn't "at war with" Afghanistan, either, but using that as shorthand for "involved in a significant struggle against irredentist Taliban remnants" is forgivable.

But Iraq? Come off it - the war's over, and we won.

There's still fighting going on, of course - against the remnants of Al Quaeda In Iraq, and against various Iranian-backed forces - but the idea that they have any possible chance of winning? Laughable.

US troops just handed over Anbar to Iraq's army.

We've won, Maureen.)