August 8, 2007
Eating an egg salad sandwich for $200.
I said I'd never eaten an egg salad sandwich and that you'd have to pay me $200 to eat an egg salad sandwich, so people gave me $200 and now I'm essentially obligated to eat an egg salad sandwich. Has anything like this ever happened before in all of blogdom?
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71 comments:
yeah, the internet is filled with stupid people waiting to waste money.
For another $200, plus a plane ticket, my 5-year old daughter will make it. She's pretty good at egg salad.
It isn't blogging, but the creator of the webcomic Something Positive promised to quit his job and do the comic full-time if people donated the equivalent of a year's salary to him. They did, and he did.
A tornado in Brooklyn? Nah, it's just Althouse moving into the neighborhood.
(Althouse shimmying down the street, carrying groceries)
"About 6:35 this morning it sounded like a freight rain coming down the driveway. The house was shaking and people were screaming," said Linda Mantia, who lives in the Bay Ridge section."
(Althouse out and about with her camcorder)
"I just wanted to lay down and die," Brooklyn resident May Johnson told CBS 2.
(Althouse photographing Brooklyn's plants and flowers)
Eric Casanova couldn't believe what he saw out his window. "I looked out my window and the trees looked like dandelions. They were flowing all over the place," he said.
---Yes, Althouse has certainly made herself known to her fellow Brooklynites. They've never seen anything like it.
http://wcbstv.com/topstories/local_story_220172727.html
Before Super Bowl III there was a Baltimore businessman who publically said he would eat a crow (a real one) if Joe Namath and the Jets won Super Bowl III. Of course, the Jets did win, and he ate an actual plate of crow.
I haven't been able to find a link to that story on the internet, but I remember reading it years and years ago.
We need choruses of people eating egg salad sandwiches...with Busby Berkley -esque camera shots!
Althouse's future neighbors:
"I just wanted to lay down and die," Brooklyn resident May Johnson told CBS 2.
Like Bill says, this is the internet. You can probably eat half of it and sell the other half for another $200 on ebay.
Anything like this happened before in blogdom?
I'm not sure. As for the internets, we'll always have ourfirsttime.com
Get the right recipe and egg salad will forever after be on your fave list. Make sure it includes a skosh of dijon mustard (Grey Poupon) and paprika. Little bit of sweet relish is a nice add too.
How can anyone have avoided egg salad sandwiches? It's always one of the two choices whenever wrapped sandwiches are offered to kids.
My dad stopped eating eggs once he found out where they came from. There really is no food like it.
Your dad had issues with the corner deli?
I'm still trying to get over the shock of realizing our hostess probably doesnt own even one deviled egg dish.
Celery adds a nice crunch factor to egg salad.
This is like Paul Newman in "Cool Hand Luke".
Minus 49 eggs.
"An our'."
SMG
What I'm wondering is how Althouse is planning on declaring the $200.00 on her tax returns. It's not a write-off. It's taxable income. And, you can be sure when next April rolls around ......I'll be here to remind her.
Like Bill says, this is the internet. You can probably eat half of it and sell the other half for another $200 on ebay.
QUITE SALABLE, I'd say. The world's record most expensive pure egg salad sandwich.
I also wish to let the Blogworld know that I have eaten lutefisk. Smelly and disgusting.
But for 250 dollars by Paypal to me...
Call around to restaurants and find the best recipe. I echo the suggestion of dijon mustard. If not that, then dill and plenty of it. Try to avoid mayonnaise (as if that has to be said!)
Ella's Deli, or Hubbard, or Monty's -- they might have egg salad.
I had egg salad for lunch.
Maxine, she'll declare it on line 21 "Other income." Isn't that where everyone declares income from gambling winnings?
By the way, Maxine, you should be more careful about video news reports you link to. That weather lady, Katie McGee, was showing a fair amount of cleavage in case you didn't notice.
Some of us Althouse readers with young children would appreciate you being more circumspect in the future. Thank you. Peace. Love.
Sandwiches. I always put onion rings on my egg salad sandwiches. Fresh-cut, fat juicy raw red onion rings.
But I've got to say, I'm with Althouse - I don't care for cold food either. Cold reduces flavor and flavor is the primary reason for eating, in my opinion.
Unless it's watermelon. Or ice cream. Or beer. But even those things can be too cold.
Room temperature is about right for most things... Especially berries and bananas. And chocolate.
PayPal isn't gambling. All monies derived from this Blog are considered income for tax purposes. Althouse makes money off this blog---she says--if she's to be believed. She considers herself a professional blogger; she takes it seriously.
In any case, no worries, y'all just go on have your fun. I'll promise you all this: come April, I'll be right here to audit, and make sure it's declared properly.
Love, Maxine
In answer to your question: no, this is not the first time that people have paid money for someone to do something over the internet. Most of the rest is porn, of course; this is just faux intelletual masturbation. And worth every damn cent!!
Does it count as porn?!
Nope. Annie doesn't do porn.
What else will you do for $200? (Or less, really.)
I make a mean deviled egg. I made the mistake of bringing some to work once, and now whenever we have a potluck, I'm stuck making 2 dozen deviled eggs......
What makes you think that accepting money for something done on line is "like this"? I'm getting $200 for eating an egg salad sandwich! How is a porn performance like eating a sandwich?
I love crap like this. I currently have a bet with a friend that he cannot eat 25 of those 25-cent Little Debbie brownies in 50 minutes.
We are still trying to determine if there is any risk of a diabetic coma or anything...
How is a porn performance like eating a sandwich?
I think it all depends on how comfortable and natural you can appear in front of the camera.
Oh, I see I hit a nerve.
Althouse gloating and bragging about how much she gets from PayPal.
You don't think that would trigger an Audit?
Sure, lots of Bloggers receive, maybe, a lot more from PayPal....but what none of those other Bloggers do, is shout from the rooftops about it. Other Bloggers use a little bit of discretion when it comes to that sort of thing.
Althouse is on-the-take, and she's not shy in the least about gloating about it.
Is it income? Is it gifts? Is it something that we call "soliciting" ??
If nothing else, just another long chink in the armor of Professorial dignity and decorum. Just another annoyance and another note in the Hoover File the University keeps on Althouse, as they scan this blog, daily.
But, by all means, have fun kids.
Good times.
Love, Maxine
one egg, 2 teaspoons mayo, a little salt and pepper. That's it.
So I can get away with 1 egg? I don't need 2? That's what I thought...
Althouse playing right into the hands of her enemies.
She'll never learn.
Bad judgment, again.
One egg should make enough for one sandwich. Don't forget the celery.
I think an independent third party should make the egg salad. Surely there is a nice deli in Madison...
If not, I think a fair rule is that you should take the standard egg salad sandwich recipe of the world, presumably found in such a place like the Betty Crocker Cookbook.
But, ultimately, it's your cold eggs.
Every Catholic of a certain age has eaten waaay too many egg salad sandwiches (Ruth Anne, how about you?). Back in the day, meat on Friday was verboten.
I still love them, though, and I wish you well on your new adventure. Starbucks' version is good, but take out the soggy lettuce.
I'm afraid to watch. (And I didn't contribute.) Are you gonna gag or worse?
Does it have to be straight-up egg salad, or can you tinker with it to make it more palatable -- add something like, i dunno, finely chopped apple? Or curry powder? (not both. NOT BOTH!!)
Starbucks, eh? Maybe I'll try that. A lot less trouble. Maybe with some black coffee. Vlogged right in the restaurant...
Curry powder is cheating. It's gotta be made like a 1950s mom would have made it.
So what's the next challenge?
How much would it cost to get you to see Ratatouille?
Or Rush Hour 3?
Or Bratz?
Or Transformers?
Come on, it's not like Newman in Cool Hand Luke or nuth'n. I recommend choosing your bread carefully. Consider adding capers. How to peel an hard boiled egg with one blow. Create cubed hard boiled eggs for tidy symmetrical sandwiches.
Hints for gag prevention: 1) "all that mayonnaise" -- use less of it. 2) eliminate 1/2 the egg white. This should reduce the squishiness between slippery mayonnaise and gelatinous egg albumen, which is enough to give a person a serious case of the creeps.
A friend chirped, "I love wasabi. I put it on everything!" "Really? Even Cheerios?" I said I'd give him a dollar if he ate the entire wad. It was a huge glob but he finished it. His eyes were totally red and watering and he sweat profusely. It was the best lunch ever. I roared laughing, emptied my pockets onto the table, it was so worth it.
Ann, will you eat an egg prepared "Filipino-style" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut) for $300? If you agree, count me in for 10% plus air-shipping you this delicacy. Just think--the video of your eating this will almost certainly be your most popular vlog post ever!
How is a porn performance like eating a sandwich?
You have to know this question is just nasty. I mean that in the best way possible.
Remember to cook the egg before mixing it with anything else.
rhhardin: How can anyone have avoided egg salad sandwiches?
Never had one, never will. The smell of sulpher makes me gag.
Zoe Brain (Then Alan Brain) once said she'd get sex reassignment surgery if people donated the money for it. (Or was that, would be able to get sex reassignment surgery if people donated the money for it?)
My promise is, you send me $2,000.00 and I will purchase a new iMac. Yes, I will make the sacrifice and purchase an iMac, even though there are many other things I could purchase with that money. I will not buy food, I will not buy clothing, I won't even reduce my credit card balance. I will buy an iMac. Make me prove my word and donate generously today.
Oh, there's no way that curry powder is cheating! It's a completely legitimate ingredient in egg salad. No one said anything about 1950s housewife recipes, either.
Properly prepared, hard boiled eggs don't smell like sulfur.
Oh, and it doesn't have to be cold, either. The best thing to do is to boil the egg, plunge it into cold water to stop the cooking (preventing that sulfurous smell, also), then when it's cool enough to handle, peel it, chop it up, season with salt and pepper, mix in about a tablespoon of really good mayo or remoulade (awesome), put it on the bread and eat it. Yum.
If I lived closer to Madison I'd offer to prep it for you. You may want to ask Nina if she'll help you out, I know she'll get you through this.
Morgan Spurlock gave someone $235 to eat an entire jar of mayonnaise on his webcast "I Bet You Will", which was later rolled into a TV show on MTV.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgan_Spurlock
The webcasts don't seem to be online today, so I can't judge whether it falls under "blogdom". You can still claim originality, though, since this is the readers paying the host, not vice versa.
Some great recipe suggestions here. I was going to suggest using fresh mayonnaise, but, given your objections to egg salad, the process of making the mayo would probably be more unpleasant than eating the sandwich.
Only overcooked hard boiled eggs smell like sulphur. It takes practice to get it right, and you have to keep in mind important variables like the starting temperature of the eggs, the size of the pot, your altitude above sea level (water boils at a lower temperature higher up), etc. In my experience the best way to prepare them is as follows:
1. Place 1 to 4 eggs in a small cooking pot and add *cold* tap water until they are covered. (Warm water will come to a boil too quickly, and dropping eggs into an already filled pot may cause them to crack). Leave the lid off for now.
2. Place the pot on the stove and turn it to HI to bring the water to a boil.
3. Just as the water comes to a boil, put the lid on the pot and take it off the burner. Turn off the stove.
4. Here's the most important part: DO NOT REMOVE THE LID FOR 15 MINUTES! A lot of heat will be released if you lift the lid to take a peek, and your eggs will be undercooked. On the other hand, if you leave them at a full boil they will be overcooked and taste like sulphur.
5. After 15 minutes drain the hot water and add cold water to stop the cooking process. Then drain the cold water and dry off the eggs with a cloth towel.
6. Peel and slice the eggs in half. The yellow part should be solid and cooked through.
7. ADJUST THE COOKING TIME FOR A PERFECT EGG: A perfectly cooked hard boiled egg should have no grey border between the white and the yellow parts. If there is a grey ring around the yellow then your egg is overdone and it will taste like sulphur, so you should shorten the cooking time on your next attempt, say 12 minutes. If you shorten it even further the yellow, while still solid, will be more orange in color rather than yellow. This is the border between soft and hard boiled. The yellow will not taste like sulphur AT ALL but it will have a more solid, less crumbly consistency. This is how they usually do eggs in France. They taste great and are perfect for slicing and putting into a salad, e.g. a Salade Nicoise, but the consistency is perhaps not ideal for an egg salad sandwich.
After some experimentation you will find the perfect cooking time to suit your taste. From then on, try to duplicate the process exactly to make a perfect egg every time.
THE MAXINE IS YELLING ABOUT THE DOLLARS!!!
STOP YELLING, MAXINE!!! FISH-FLAPPERS WILL SHARE HIS EGG-SALAD WITH YOU AND THE SHRIMPS!!! BABY-BEAKS IS BRINGING THE PIZZA-DINNERS!!!
THE TROLL-CREEPS THOUGHT IT WAS THE BUSH CREEPS THAT WERE WALKING ON THE PLATES!!!
GUESS WHAT, CREEPS!! IT WAS THE EGG-SALAD DECOYS!!! PAY-PAL IS FREE CHRISTMAS GIFT!! WAY TO GO, EGGHEADS! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE THE BRAVEST EGGHEADS!! GET LOST TROLL CREEPS!!!!!!!!
mead(e): beer is delightful warm. Unless it's Bud or Miller. I'm thinking beer -- rather than coffee, or a spoonful of sugar -- would help the egg salad go down in the most delightful way.
Joan is right. It doesn't have to be cold and curry is not cheating,
Gahrie: Would you share your deviled egg recipe? I love deviled eggs.
Ann, yes one egg can make a sandwich.
American in Europe: that's exactly how I was taught by my dear mother to make hardboiled eggs with one exception. Instead of draining the hot water and adding cold, put the pan with the lid on in the sink. Start the cold water full force and let it get as cold as the tap water can over the top of the closed pan, then remove the lid from under the running water. The cold water displaces the hot water...
What's the refund policy for PayPal?
If Althouse readers were induced to contribute under duress, then Althouse must refund all the money.
No worries, Ruth Ann -- all those meatless Fridays, I never got egg salad, either. My mom had an aversion to egg salad after an unfortunate post-Easter incident and wouldn't have it in the house for something like 30 years. Only recently has she even considered trying it again. Some associations are difficult to escape.
Re the temperature of the salad, I admit, I wasn't paying that much attention to the terms of the deal when they were set. I'll just say that if that was the agreement, it's too bad. Slightly chilled is one thing, straight-from-the-fridge-cold is another. We've scant chance of convincing Ann of the delicious possibilities of egg salad if she has to eat it cold. At least the bread can be room temperature, right? Cold bread is beyond tasteless -- might as well use cardboard.
Some generous people did donate money - about 2% of the cost.
This put me "over the line" so I was able to have surgery. I was so close, but without that 2% I couldn't have made it.
I've since donated the amount, and more, to young girls with Harry Benjamin's Syndrome so they can pay for hormones without having to peddle their bodies.
It's a drop in the bucket, but you do what you can.
My Starbucks didn't have sandwiches...
I guess I will make it myself. I went to some local places: Potbelly, Jimmie John's, Sunporch... No egg salad.
I saw a recipe where the egg was mashed with the mayonnaise. Is that right? Or do you just chop the egg and mix in the mayonnaise gently?
Bite sized chunks are desirable...try some diced scallion in it as well.
Come back to tree town; I've a great place for egg salad.
Chopped and mixed is fine. You kind of want the yolks mixed well with the mayo, the whites should be fairly small.
By all means hold her to cold, but not cold is better.
The recipes I see usually say mash everything together with a fork. If you have egg pieces that are bigger than a peanut, mash some more.
I disagree. Do not mash down to egg salad molecules. You want identifiable pieces.
And make sure the lettuce is crispy, not wilted.
Chopped, mixed with pepper, a little salt, mustard (Dijon, if you must) and the mayo.
To make it sublime, add chopped green olives, with or without pimento.
Curry-flavored egg salad is fine, it's just not really 'egg salad'. It's 'curried egg salad'.
You should NEVER boil the eggs. You make hard COOKED eggs, not hard BOILED eggs. They taste much better, and I know it;s true cause I learned it from Dear Abby and she knew EVERYTHING.
To make: First you boil the water, but after the water boils, you TURN DOWN the water to a LOW simmer and put the eggs in. If you cover them, make sure the water does NOT return to a boil.
Cook the eggs on a low simmer for about 12-15 minutes. Turn off the heat and let the eggs cool to reoom temperature. Plunge in cold water.
Peel the sheklls by pulling off the thin membrane between the shell and the egg.
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