May 1, 2006
When Scalia met Ludacris.
Who knows what all the two men talked about after the White House Correspondents Dinner? All the reporter could wrest out of Ludacris was "Um, we didn't really talk about much." Scalia offered little additional detail: "I just said hello," and "He has a deep voice, doesn't he?"
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Maybe they are disappointed that neither of them could get a date with eligible single Congresswoman Linda Sanchez.
Her list of top ten reasons she doesn't date Republicans
10. The only time they believe in fiscal restraint is when the dinner bill comes.
9. His idea of getting to second base is fondling my stock portfolio.
8. He thinks that Emily's List is a call girl service.
7. His idea of oral stimulation is getting me to recite the Contract with America.
6. He thinks that white pantyhose and pearls are sexy--and you should see what he wants me to wear.
5. Because when Republicans say that they want to create opportunities for minorities, that means they want to date me and Loretta (her sister, also a Congresswoman).
4. Despite all the hype, I still can't find his weapon of mass destruction.
3. His pending prison term for political corruption is just another excuse for him to be emotionally unavailable.
2. Republicans are only interested in screwing the poor.
1. Because they make love like they make war: they lie to get in and don't have a plan for what to do once they get there.
I do believe the gauntlet has been dropped, Eli, old buddy, old pal!
Top Ten Reasons Why Condi Rice Doesn't Date Democrats
10- Two words: Tofu burgers.
9- Two more words: Ted Kennedy.
8- She can't find Air America on her radio dial.
7- Black women don't do BJs.
6- Finish this sentence:
Democrats are to ______, what Republicans are to illegal aliens.
HINT: Whatever answer you put, chances are it's really lame anyway.
5- Better no exit strategy in bed, than a Democrat who likes to pull out early.
4- Test your "Guy Q":
Who is sexier?
(a) Nino Scalia
(b) David Souter
(c) Ruth Bader Buzzi
3- A Hummer is bigger, better, and badder than a Prius.
2- They start a lot of wars, by ignoring problems so that they build up; by not taking out the bad guys when they had a chance; and by making peace with maniacs, which Republicans later take the rap for.
1- She can't find any eligible Democrats to date, because they all emigrated to Canada after 2004.
...How'd I do?!
Cheers,
Victoria
Seriously though, Scalia and Ludacris.
I once had a friend, a crazy eccentric friend it goes without saying, that used to do impersonations of famous people -- meeting other famous people, the more incongruous, the better.
Her Edith Piaf at an audience with John XXIII, will live long with me...
...as will her Queen Victoria meeting Sammy Davis Jr.
Cheers,
Victoria
Well, apparently Our Hero is possesed of a fairly lusty baritone and isn't afraid to use it - but I somehow doubt that we should anticipate a guest appearence on Ludacris' next single.
...On the other hand, Blackmun ventured into acting in retirement, so having largely failed to pursuade the court vis-a-vis Roe has created repressed desire to one-up its author. ;)
I don't know about his seeing Scalia, but according to today's USA Today, Ludicris said he did not know the president could be so humerous (or something fairly positive like that).
Victoria:
How'd you do? Well, depends.
#10 and #9: Passable, though both on the same theme.
#8: Good.
#7: OK, although 'don't do cigars' would get you a touche.
Although I don't know-- she might bite.
#6: Where Republicans are on illegal aliens-- confused??, because I'm not sure where Republicans are on illegal aliens-- The President's guest worker program, Tancredo's wall, McCain's amnesty (except not calling it that-- but if it walks like a duck...), Kyl and Cornin's pass a law reiterating that they have to go home, just like we have now, Hagel's send them home and have them turn around and come right back in, Hayworth's felony charge bill, Jeff Flake's 'do what works best for business' stance, or the great majority who seem to be flip-flopping every time there is a new demonstration by one side or another? I guess that gives Democrats plenty of room because Republicans over the past month or so have been all over the map on that issue. And no, I can't think of an issue where the Democrats have been so inconsistent with each other lately.
5. Touche.
4. Well, since I'm a straight guy, Bader wins by default. Even if it's only what she's got on.
3. Hummer H3 msrp: $ 28,935, 16 mpg city, 20 mpg highway (H1 and H2 models get lower mileage and cost more). Prius 2006 hybrid: msrp $21,725 44 mpg mixed city/highway. Easy enough to see which is the party of fiscal responsibility.
2. You mean, building up Saddam and Osama in the 1980's and backing out on the Shiite rebels in 1991? Oh, you mean after that.
1. Well, Canadians' healthcare system only costs 9.7 % of their GDP vs. 15.3% of our own, based on 2003 statistics by the WHO. And they live longer than we do. Must be the balmy climate.
However, I will give you your due. I copied Rep. Sanchez' list down so you win by virtue of non-plagiarism. In fact, Victoria, for somebody that's always on the wrong side of every issue, you're pretty cool. Just always wrong.
I'm quite certain that Scalia expressed his belief that "Chicken & Beer" was, lyrically, Ludacris' strongest recored to date. I'm also certain that Scalia pointed out how much he enjoyed Chris' subtle performance in "2 Fast 2 Furious."
You know, when I finally put the pieces together yesterday and realized that quxxo lives in Madison, it was an "aha" moment. I hated Madison when I lived there.
Ann, thanks for allowing me to avoid his posts this morning.
- if I had a hatchet, I'd chop in the morning, I'd chop in the evening...all over this land, I'd chop out danger, I'd chop out a warning............... there is nothing quite like the heft and feel of cured hickory beneath a sharp axe head
I don't think quxxo lives in Madison. I think you may be drawing the wrong conclusion. Do you do that often?
Linda over-flatters herself if she thinks we on the right want to date her, and her very hot and engaging sister Loretta. There's no and about it. It's not surprising that the Hon. Ms. Sanchez doesn't get much play and can feign like she's writing off half the single men in the country. I'm pretty sure that they weren't very interested to begin with. She's got a rare combination a nasty demeanor, arrogance, and strident left wing politics. Maybe it's just my dumb paternalistic conservative aesthetic, but I don't find her trifecta of personality traits attractive, and when you tie those attributes to C- looks*... Ick. But hey, if you Dem boys are into that, if hearing somebody ridicule Republican penii makes you all tingly, please, be my guest. Knock yourself out.
*No, it's not that she's heavy, I know a lot of incredibly attractive big girls... it's that when somebody has a nasty personality it just radiates ugly outwards. I know, I know, jokes about tiny d1cked Republicans screwing the poor and minorities are really funny and the most original thing you've ever heard... and John Stewart is an innovative political thinker, too.
In fact, Victoria, for somebody that's always on the wrong side of every issue, you're pretty cool. Just always wrong.
I'll take it!
Cheers,
Victoria
I just love it when two worlds collide and everyone is forced to rub shoulders. Like, when Andy Warhol was hanging out with the Reagan Kitchen Cabinet--- Or, when Cher was forced to break bread with all those Republicans at Sonny's funeral!
Peace,
Maxine
Maxine:
That's the genius of Ann's blog, isn't it? (even though I am definitely in the minority.)
The top ten reasons why women don’t willingly date Democrats…
10. If a Democrat drives off the road into a tidal pond, she's on her own.
9. The only person a Democrat communicates with effectively is the portfolio manager of his trust fund.
8. A Democrat thinks a hammer is an over-sized SUV.
7. A Democrat thinks foreplay involves the couple in 318.
6. A Democrat thinks that “baby’s got back” is a reference to barbecued ribs.
5. If a Democrat likes cigars, he’ll use you as a humidor.
4. If you give a Democrat an erector set for Christmas – he'll bring it along on a date.
3. Any Democrat who can't pass the background tests to teach in a public school, becomes a reporter.
2. Democrats are only interested in screwing America.
1. Democrats make love like they make war – they send real men to git 'er done, then they watch it on tape.
Any Democrat who can't pass the background tests to teach in a public school, becomes a reporter.
Oh that's gotta hurt . . .
To "cross-comment" (hit two posts with one stone), I enjoyed Colbert's greeting to Scalia his "Sicilian paisan' and Nino's laughter.
vw: lafokr
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