"What's the problem?" said [911 operator Vernetta] Geric, 46, of East Pittsburgh.
"I have a large tree in my backyard ... there's a squirrel stuck in the tree."
"Ma'am, this is a squirrel? In a tree? What's the problem?"
"It's been there for about an hour. It's crying; it needs help. There's a problem," the caller insisted.
"Ma'am, sorry, but this isn't necessarily a police issue. It's a wild animal, sitting in a tree. It's supposed to be doing that. The squirrel will be OK. It'll climb down when it's ready," Geric said.
"Are you telling me you're not sending me an officer?"
"Sorry ma'am, this isn't a police issue. An officer wouldn't be able to do anything. The squirrel will be just fine, really."
"But police officers help people in need right?"
"Yes, ma'am. Squirrels are not people."
"Well, never mind, anyway. You've spent so much time explaining why an officer won't help me, the squirrel left. Thanks."
April 9, 2006
"Squirrels are not people."
A 911 call:
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11 comments:
That had to have been a Specter voter.
So do people get fined for calls like that?
What I really *really* wish is that the police had a NON-EMERGENCY number that was published and easily available and listed as the one citizens should call for non-emergencies.
I know there's a couple of times I called 911 that weren't emergency calls ("I think I heard gunfire, but it's not close. No, I don't need anyone to stop by.") And then there was the time it was close but sounded far away and I *didn't* call and the next day the 6'6" tall, dark and way too handsome officer who was out picking up a magazine's worth of .22 brass chewed me out for *not* calling. And then there was the time the transformer on the corner blew.
Yes, the police would want to know if something went !BOOM! but just because the police want to know doesn't make it an *emergency*.
On the other hand, an officer would have arrived immediately (lights flashing, siren blaring, tires squealing) had the caller complained of a pile of nut shavings left in the living room. And rightly so!
Oh, that's funny. Reminds me of the Cheeseburger 911 call:
Dispatcher: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?
Woman: I . . . send an officer down here. I . . . I want them to make me . . .
Dispatcher: Ma'am, we're not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.
The audio link at the bottom has the 911 call, in case y'all missed it the first time around.
"Yes, ma'am. Squirrels are not people."
How refreshing! In CA the animal supremacists would have been out immediately.
What's the number to reach the telephone operator?
Oh my.
What a moron! Who calls the police for animals stuck in trees? Everybody knows you call the fire department for that. I mean they're not busy.
Synova - most police departments do have a non-emergency number. It should be in the government pages in your phone book. I've used it before.
Not exactly the same, but there was an incident here in Boulder a few years ago where someone called Wildlife Protection because they saw a deer being attacked by a mountain lion.
Also not exactly the same, but maybe somebody should play Devil's Advocate: I, for one, violate the Prime Directive and intervene to dispatch House Sparrows so as to safeguard Blue Birds and other native species. So there!
Still, the squirrels can go hang. Maybe I'd feel differently in England and Scotland where I understand our Grey Squirrel is out-competing their Red Squirrel.
bissage, I feel the same way about bunnies. They're real cute for folks who aren't having their landscaping devoured.
Gaius Arbo: Funny you should say that. About a week ago I proclaimed loudly that I have officially given up all hope of ever making a peaceable agreement with the bunnies, cute though they may be (the baby bunnies, particularly). Henceforth, said I, they are unwelcome and shall have dog turds reposed in their burrows! So far, so good.
P.S. I tried to make a deal with the House Sparrows, but now I just kill them, when I can. Let's hope it doesn't come to that with the bunnies. Why they insist on burrowing into my flower gardens (in a fenced-in yard with a Sheltie running about), I have no idea.
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