For my part, I refused to be a prisoner to tradition and blithely ignored these taboos. And Dong Ayi did not exactly complain when I took a shower or opened the window or drank iced water.Even if the rules seem absurd, they do serve many purposes. Look at how these rules intricately connected the new mother to her traditional culture, enforced elaborate special care for the mother, and guaranteed an extended celebration of the arrival of the baby. Of course, the modern new mother can resist and make fun, but at the same time, she appreciates the beauty and function of the traditional ways.
She would just fix me with a baleful glare... a silent warning of the error of my ways....
Food was another small battleground over which we skirmished.
The Chinese firmly believe that certain foods are beneficial after childbirth, particularly purple rice porridge with dates, pig trotter soup and black chicken broth.
On one memorable occasion, my in-laws even produced deep-fried pork-fat soup, which was surprisingly good.
The problem was that Dong Ayi firmly opposed my favourite foods: namely coffee, chocolate and bananas.
"Not for breastfeeding mothers," she said, banning them from my diet, "they're bad for Daniel's health."
I took the route of least resistance and meekly agreed, though I would visit friends' houses for clandestine coffee and secret bananas.
December 4, 2005
"Taking a shower, washing your hair, drinking cold water, opening the window, watching television and even reading a book."
Things not to do after having a baby.
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4 comments:
That's nothing, she should be glad that she isn't a Scientologist.
Practitioners of Scientology are against drugs to relieve the pain of childbirth but insist on "silent birth" because they believe it's traumatic for babies to hear their mothers groan or cry. Women are better off with a Chinese mother, than a Scientologist husband/father.
This quote jumped out at me: That is because in China, new mothers are not expected to leave their beds for a month after giving birth.
Obviously this is an upper-class or regional custom. Who can afford to have a mother who stays in bed for a month? I remember reading all of Pearl Buck's wonderful China works, and while the birth of children was always celebrated, the mom was usually back on her feet very quickly in the peasant families. I realize those stories are set about 100 years ago or more, but this article is discussing customs that certainly go back at least that far.
The author's baby certainly is beautiful!
It seems to me that "enforced elaborate special care for the mother" can very easily turn into "enforced infantilization of an adult woman." Superstition is superstition, and we shouldn't romanticize it just because it comes from a foreign culture or because there's a cute l'il baby involved.
2 hours after my 6 year old son was born my wife had a Wendy's Chicken sandwich, Biggie Fries, and a Large Diet Coke (caffeine included!!! -- another stare producer).
After 2 hours of pushing she barked the order, I snapped to, and did my duty. What was I to do? I'd gotten her a steak if it had nt been close to midnight and she hadn't demanded Wendy's. And she took a shower the next morning.... Women are tough.
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