But here's Robin Givhan — in "Why Is Shopping an Abyss of Blah?" (NYT) — "Shopping has become a drag. A bore. An obligation. A thing you do alone on your phone, not out in the world.... Shopping should be about lust. Instead, shopping has become a slog.... Our senses are flattened, our appetites dulled. Nothing seems quite right.... Shopping has become a grotesquerie of commodified consumerism and environmental waste.... Retailers became more corporate and mimed soliloquies on status and trends. Shoppers’ aesthetic discernment grew weak and flabby. A once lively conversation between sellers and buyers quieted. Shopping lost its fizz...."
December 23, 2025
I thought it was just me, but apparently it's a big, sad trend.
I don't like shopping. I can't make myself go (other than food shopping). Occasionally, I consider forcing myself to go shopping — find some clothes to try on and buy at least something — but I'm beset with boredom, and I do not go. Have I even set foot in a clothes store in the past year? Somehow I pictured other women going into the shops, getting excited about clothing items, and splurging on things.
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87 comments:
If you actually want to know what is driving this go look up Dopamine Addiction.
Human were not meant to be this stimulated. Our brains do not deal with it well.
There are actual remedies that you can practice to reset yourself and feel better.
Also this is why GLP1's are popular. They can help reset dopamine addiction too.
As a man, I’ve always hated shopping. Men are hunters. Women are gatherers. That’s why you typically see more women at malls.
But speaking of malls, has anyone gone to one lately. There used to be three within 5 miles of where I live. Now only one.
I told my S.I.L. back around the COVID shutdown that we had reached peak consumerism. At that time, you could get anything. And if you'll note, in the subsequent years, after the initial chokedown of supply line issues that we saw during and post-COVID, that the selection is not what it used to be, and neither is the quality. It's not just brick & mortar, it's Amazon as well. How often do you look up something on Amazon only to find out it's no longer available and 'we don't know when' it will be back.
"There are actual remedies that you can practice to reset yourself and feel better."
I feel great, though. I just imagine being out shopping, anticipate that I'd be bored, and choose not to go. I don't need to "feel better." I feel fine.
The stores used to be better! The styles used to be more interesting (especially in the 1960s).
My aesthetic is called "what's on clearance at Costco". Not much fizz, but I'm okay with that.
This is a function of leisure time competition.
Back in the old days, kids were bored in the summer. The mall was exciting. Because there wasn't much to do.
Now there are many, many leisure time activities...with very high value to people. This is why people don't want kids - they suck vast amounts of leisure time away. When it was 1973, that didn't cost much. Now its very "expensive" because you value leisure time so highly.
Thus shopping is not valued anymore.
My employees don't even value money anymore. Work more and earn more or have time off? THEY ALWAYS CHOOSE TIME OFF. This is because leisure time is extremely valuable now. Because of the endless enjoyable pursuits. Netflix, games, your phone, porn, movies, music etc.
But let's say you used to enjoy shopping - that's because its visually enjoyable. But there are so many visual enjoyments now on your phone.
"The stores used to be better! The styles used to be more interesting (especially in the 1960s)."
Possibly. Or more likely, there was less to compare it too.
Internet shopping may also long tail this so that stores don't dare risk selling anything but the most basic stuff.
People used to get dressed up for work. There were some pretty high standard and more of a payoff for dressing well. And then there was going out at night. You wanted a whole other level of dressiness for night. I don't think that is happening anymore... certainly not for me. If I don't have to do it, what do I care if other people do it or not? I tend to be the sort of person who imagines that what I do has little connection to what other people do. That's why that article jumped out for me.
I have never understood "shopping".
The Shopper's Malaise
"Shopping should be about lust"
My wife would agree. The way she looks at items she'd like to buy should be classified as cheating.
I keep a couple of suits for weddings and funerals.
"I have never understood "shopping.""
There were many aspects to the pleasure of shopping:
1. Getting to inspect the wares. How do the fabrics feel? What color are they really?
2. Shops would offer ideas about what could be put together via window displays, mannikins, etc.
3. Sales people would assist you sometimes with great skill.
4. You can try things on and see how they fit and look on you, which is crucial, especially with items that aren't all stretchy and blousy (like what you tend to buy on line).
5. It can be nice to walk along the sidewalks and get some exercise or stop and talk with people and just mix in going into shops.
6. You do it with a friend and it's got many social aspects, talking about clothes, expressing preferences, giving compliments.
7. After you little outing, you have something to show for your effort — something new that you really like and feel excited about wearing soon.
Clothes shopping different than walking through Home D., Harbor Freight, toy stores, or Pick N Pull.
NYT journos need more topics.
I actually like the hustle and the bustle of the holiday shopping season.
(I also find it amusing that Althouse's shopping upsides are mostly couched in clothes shopping. But the same could be said for other products like tools or shoes or even toys.)
Casual clothes at work has changed us. When I started as a young lawyer (back in '81) we had suits (2 piece/3 piece), with long overcoats to protect them in the winter. Suits at the office, suits in court. You needed a bunch of suits. And you always wore a tie so you needed a bunch of ties. After becoming in-house counsel 25 years ago, my attire is khakis and polos in the summer and khakis and quarter zip sweaters in winter, whether I'm working or not. Kinda took the fun out of shopping for different wardrobes.
"People used to get dressed up for work. There were some pretty high standard and more of a payoff for dressing well. And then there was going out at night. You wanted a whole other level of dressiness for night. I don't think that is happening anymore... certainly not for me. If I don't have to do it, what do I care if other people do it or not? I tend to be the sort of person who imagines that what I do has little connection to what other people do. That's why that article jumped out for me."
My Mad Men rewatch is depressing for this reason.
No shes terrible all around
"After you little outing, you have something to show for your effort — something new that you really like and feel excited about wearing soon."
I'd be perfectly content to wear the same thing everyday for the rest of my life. The fact that I don't has entirely to do with my wife.
I find Regan era clothes much more interesting than 60s, but hey, that's why we have so very many options. Could it be that we know we will never look as good as the filtered AI-enhanced images inundating us from all our devices? Or perhaps our aging population realizes that fabulous sweater will not change our life. I've felt overdressed at almost every function I've attended for a while now, but these days I dress for my own amusement. Are your family and friends dressing for Christmas parties this season? Mine aren't. Unless you count Cousin Eddie Christmas sweatshirts.
Just got back from some Christmas shopping. Few clerks know how to assist boomer men. Got dough in my pocket, looking to spend it, don’t want to shop forever—only Chicos has me figured out.
"Retailers... mime... soliloquies"? Her don't write good.
Is it just what Althouse shows us, or is the NYT nothing but whining, depressed, negativity and anti-social nihilism? We see a lot of articles composed by "Strong Women" complaining about cooking dinner, having children, shopping, hosting parties, acknowledging birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, etc. All very ordinary behaviors that have always comprised a good portion of a happy healthy American society.
Forget it. I think I see the problem.
One might call it the Grinchmas Times
Is it 1993? They have to be shitting me. The Internet, especially Amazon, have made this a Golden Age of shopping. Never mind the incredible range of accessible items. The time savings is life-changing.
Old people find shopping uninteresting because they are less likely to care much what they look like. I pretty much live in running gear these days unless I am going out to eat or to someone else's house for dinner. Of course, when I am living in Ireland this does not apply. There I dress in decent clothes because no pub or restaurant would even allow me to enter dressed in an Adidas tracksuit. Even really shitty pubs are off limits in Dublin.
My neighbor told me she wishes there was a Twelve Step Program for Amazon.
In general, if I can't find what I need (clothes, tools, building supplies) at Menards, Costco, or Amazon then the "need" goes away. Maybe not permanently, but long enough before I try again.
It occurs to me that this woman is actually complaining about being a woman. She has the compulsion, but the compulsion is losing its “fizz”. She should take up archery or the banjo or something.
I don't shop unless I can't avoid it, because I'm an old man who has settled into an unchanging style. But there are exceptions. Get me into a used book or music store and I can shop for hours and way overspend my budget.
I enjoy shopping. I do it so infreqruenlty that it still holds some fun for me and I still get the dopamine hits from the experience.
I’m a researcher when it comes to shopping, so I’ll have multiple tabs open, create a bookmarks folder and drop manfacturers, reviews, specs and varios place to source with pricing. And if I can, I try to find a local place to touch/feel and if the price is reasonable, will buy local or at least try to negotiate.
I am in sales. Started in retail, did a little inside before going full remote in the tech industry. I’ve been successful in all endeavors, including company awards, trade rag articles, and of course some pretty goof commissions. And being a salesguy, nothing makes me happier than to get sold to, which is becoming a lost art. I often find myself helping store clerks “sell” me these days. A decade ago I didn’t have to as much.
Xmas eve has always been my traditional shopping day. Last couple of hours before the stores shut down, I can find parking and last minute deals and still get a bit of a thrill going into the belly of the beast, a very upscale mall near me, in the waning hours of the holiday shopping season. Always puts me in a great mood for the next day. (Grocery shopping OTOH… ugh, now THAT is a beating on Christmas Eve but I do it, regardless)
"I'd be perfectly content to wear the same thing everyday for the rest of my life. The fact that I don't has entirely to do with my wife."
She's making you a better man.
"She's making you a better man."
No doubt.
Part of the problem is that there are few unique stores. Everything, everywhere seems to be a chain store, with very few small retail owners left. For instance, I used to love going to used bookstores - they were all over the place, each one with its own distinct character. Very few of those remain. In their place, though, there are other pleasures, so it all works out in the end.
Jersey Fled said...
As a man, I’ve always hated shopping. Men are hunters. Women are gatherers. That’s why you typically see more women at malls.
My go-to store is pretty much Marshalls/TJ Maxx. One reason is the corporate HQ is down the street, and the adjacent stores are favored with inventory, etc. I suppose in case they do tours and training. Second, you really have to develop a (male?) "hunting" technique to sift through the dross to find the one item you really need/like and fits. Third, it's discount and who doesn't like a bargain!
Finally, shopping (especially for clothes) is tactile. Even if you don't find something there you want, you can get an idea of what you like for when you go shopping elsewhere or on-line.
The scamdemic taught the nation you really don't need or have to leave your home. My diet has become so basic and simple I'm in and out of the grocery store in a minute - meat, sourdough bread, eggs, milk, butter, coffee and I'm out of there. I generally shop at the nursery, Lowe's, Harbor Freight, O'Reilly's, Old Navy and Target. Amazon and EBay. I haven't been in a department store or a movie theater in over six years. Don't plan on going ever again.
Holiday mall shopping was always depressing, but now that the malls are dying it must be triply depressing.
Now I'm waiting for a delivery to come and scrolling through other things to buy and that is also depressing.
Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
I don't give a crap about hubby's balance sheet?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl,
The girl who has...everything
Look at my trove
Of shit I've been sold
How much longer can his finances hold?
Lookin' around, yeah, Ride thinks
"damn woman...YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING!"
I've got whozits and whatzits aplenty
I've got bullshit and garbage galore
You want fuzzy glitter-filled crap that gets on everything?
I got twenty...
but who cares?
No big deal...
I. WANT. MORE.
- RSM's wife
I don't admire the over-all look fashion is promoting - the botox-face, raggedy-hair, distorted-lips, clawed-finger look. Can you picture one of those women reading a real book? Cooking a real meal? Gardening? Driving the soccer team to the game? Besides, most of the clothes you see are designed to make young people look boxy or slutty or like old women - why?
If Melania Trump were allowed to be the fashion leader which she naturally is, sales would go up. I don't think of emulating her - as if - but the look is worth a try. As far as try for "the influencers' look" - no. Just no.
Its like the gritesque parody in brazil
One of the benefits of working in a factory is not having to dress up, which is good for me, since I possess neither the ability or inclination to dress well. I wear essentially the same thing every day.
I did all my shopping in one day, because I'm giving everyone the same thing: silver bullion. I like gold, but it was hard to find this year. Precious metals I've given out the last few years have mostly doubled in value, which you can't say about most gifts.
We just finished up our Christmas party with food, music, lots of gifts and bonuses for all. It was our first really good year since Covid. Everyone got a nice bonus this year ranging from 5K to 25K. Not bad for a small company. Surprisingly, good years are more fun than bad ones.
Merry Christmas!
I think I may have asked this question here before, but wth, it's like the Tootsie Roll Pop question - the world will never know:
What's better for the environment: brick/mortar shopping centers, or online shopping with delivery?
Most people who do brick/mortar, especially with families, have a list and a plan, and make about one big expedition a week - maybe less often if they use a deepfreeze. So one car trip a week.
If you are a big online shopper, you probably have multiple deliveries a week. Many more car trips. Of course, the same delivery car is hitting other families on that trip. So is it more efficient? Less efficient? A wash?
Then there's the Euro/Manhattan model, where you don't drive at all, and pick up each day's food in your neighborhood. Seems much more fuel-efficient, as in zero fuel used. But then, the distributors have to make a lot of truck trips to all those bodegas. So is it a wash?
Probably as intractable as the paper v. plastic debate....CC, JSM
Shopping should be about lust. Instead, shopping has become a slog.
It was a wise man who wrote:
Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shame is lust in action
In other words, it was always a slog.
The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said... The Internet, especially Amazon, have made this a Golden Age of shopping.
Not lately. Amazon is out of a lot of things, and most of what they’re not out of is made in China and of much lower quality than you’re looking for.
Nothing seems quite right.
This line resonated with me. Again and again, I go to store after store and none has what I want. Everything is not quite right. And if the goal is higher quality that I’m willing to pay more for, all too often it’s the same crap, just more expensive.
I forgot that I actually have one big shopping trip that I do every year without fail. Every January, my girlfriend and (now barely adult) children pack up the car and drive to Quartzite where we camp in the desert for two nights, and spend our days wandering around buying gems and minerals and usually a few nice large pieces of alabaster to carve. It's a sort of poor man's sister show to the giant gem show in Tucson that I used to attend. This one has great gem and mineral dealers a well as a whole lot of crap and assorted old stuff. Oh and a lot of RV equipment dealers who we ignore. The town goes from a population of maybe 1000 to a couple hundred thousand for about a month. Weirdo hippies and drug addled oddballs abound. We like to bring extra pillows and give them to the car campers/homeless when we leave. The shitty little market in town also sells the absolute best Medjool dates on earth, and I've lived in London where the really good dates cost a couple pounds each. If you live in AZ, it is worth the drive.
“NYT journos need more topics.“
Robin is a fashion columnist. I never forget her column about then Vice President Dick Cheney wearing what looked like a coat you see in Antártica documentaries, to a WW2 Commemoration in Europe somewhere.
Was it Cheney or Rumsfeld?
Tim maguire: "Everything is not quite right."
Enshittification. We had a post on it a few weeks back:
https://althouse.blogspot.com/2025/10/hhe-expands-his-various-blog-posts-and.html
CC, JSM
“Her writing (Ms. Robin Givhan) was famously provocative and punchy. She once described Vice President Dick Cheney’s outfit at a solemn Auschwitz memorial as “the kind of attire one typically wears to operate a snow blower.”
(Link added. Picture of Cheney in his embarrassing parka at the link.)
It was Cheney.
Poor Robin Givhan. Every time she gets set to go shopping she thinks about how buying things will help improve the GDP and thus help Trump.
""There are actual remedies that you can practice to reset yourself and feel better."
I'm lucky. I'm usually in good sprits, but if I'm not, all I need to do is start a physical project and finish it. My mood improves as soon as I start moving, and when I finish, I feel as good as it gets. Today is the best day of the year for me. The last day of work for the year. Goals achieved, employees happy, everybody with seemingly endless time off, and nothing pending. The world stops for a week. It's a great feeling of stress melted away. It seems as though for once there is time for anything that comes up. Its the same feeling I used to get on the last day of school before summer break, when Alice Cooper would run through my head all day long.
Small retailers who provide interesting stock were wiped out by the Covid shutdown and may never recover. It's hard to stay in business due to regulations, theft and taxes. Naturally these retailers move online where they don't have to deal with government and the public to the same extent they would in brick and mortar settings.
Further, shopping for fun requires enough safety to zone out looking at the merchandise. Intrusive street life and large unsafe parking lots discourage even thinking about urban or suburban shopping as fun.
We went to a Wegman’s today. Full of people, felt like old times at the mall. I liked it.
Leora said, "Further, shopping for fun requires enough safety to zone out looking at the merchandise. Intrusive street life and large unsafe parking lots discourage even thinking about urban or suburban shopping as fun."
I've told foreign friends before Americans aren't opposed to 'walkable cities', they simply don't understand what made them "unwalkable", and if they need to know more they can ask Iryna Zarutska.
My Brazilian friends 'get it' the best....
I don't shop for clothes much, anymore, but there's something quite satisfying about strolling the aisles of a good hobby shop, or motorcycle (powersports?) store. There's also a "second hand" store in town that specializes in weird stuff, toys, and hobbies. Always lots of cool surprises there.
Well she does live in a city where the city council had legalized crime for four years
We road-warrior consultants used to regularly wear jacket and tie to factory floors. I would travel with two sports coats and several ties.
Suits were SOP in CA tech companies for office wear until about 2000. After that it was khakis and polo shirts and the like. And come the internet @#£% @2010 anything went.
Even if my wife were to approve of my wearing the same clothes every day, I would probably still wear fresh underwear on a daily basis. If only out of tradition.
I'm an aficionado of the "Buy It For Life" movement.
Cast iron Dutch ovens and frying pans.
Mechanical alarm clocks and watches.
Winchester lever-action rifles, pre-1964, and Colt 1911 pistols, WW2 vintage.
Planes, rasps, files, spokeshaves, chisels, drawknives, whetstones, and saws indistinguishable from those that would have been used 150 years ago, and a heavy wooden workbench on which to use them.
American pickup trucks no newer than 1972. Toyota pickup trucks no newer than 2015. Piper Cubs and riveted aluminum canoes.
Kitchenaid mixer and Hamilton Beach blender, vintage.
Laguiole corkscrew.
Hi-Lift jack.
Zippo lighter.
Nikon F series camera.
I have useful tools that belonged to my great-great-grandfather. I hope my great-great-grandson will be able to use some of mine.
Hassayamper: "Cast iron Dutch ovens and frying pans....Winchester lever-action rifles, pre-1964, and Colt 1911 pistols....Kitchenaid mixer..." &c
In the immortal words of Slim Pickens, hell, a man could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that! CC, JSM
I still have a Burberry trench coat. I havent used it in over 20 years. Hauled it all the way to Bilbao, where one would think there is a need for it. I also still have a tweed jacket with leather elbows.
I was in a tour group guided through the old part of Lyon, France. The local guide was getting exasperated by having to fish the ladies out of all the darling little shops along the way, in order to stay on schedule. The husbands were of no help.
I used to go to malls to see if there was anything I wanted. Time was spent searching, usually not successfully.
Amazon reversed that. Type in what you invent as a need and it will show you that it exists and you can get it instantly.
Shopping used to be a reward we gave ourselves. We'd go out and buy stuff that seemed extravagant.
But we're all much richer now, and so there's less reward - if we want something, we just immediately buy it.
"aving to fish the ladies out of all the darling little shops along the way"
Wife. Like that.
I buy almost everything now with Amazon Prime, because I live out in the country on a gravel road, and I like my purchases delivered to my front door, instead of me having to schlep them from the store to my car and then into my home. There is a UPS store right next to my barber so if I need to return something it only costs me one dollar. The only exception is shoes and boots, because I have an unusual shoe size, so I go to my favorite sporting goods store which has actual shoe salesmen who will measure your foot and find the right fit for you. Just like in the old days. Life is good.
Ever been to Oshkosh? Now, THAT's shopping!
Shopping is part of the logistics of supply. In the consumer division Americans have been intimidated into not bargaining, but just paying the demanded price. In industry we were ruthless in cutting off suppliers who did not provide quality and service and price. We loved suppliers that we did not have to deal with all the time but who just knew what we needed. If we saw companies that were bankrupting themselves giving us too low prices we talked to them, to maintain a reliable partner. We saw bad suppliers change their corporate id and try to become new innocent companies and banned them. That is how men shop. Consumers decide to pay list or not buy, that is the only discipline on sellers.
I don't like to haggle. Give me your price and I'll buy or I won't.
"People used to get dressed up for work. There were some pretty high standard and more of a payoff for dressing well. And then there was going out at night. You wanted a whole other level of dressiness for night." But you don't go to work anymore, and you rarely go out at night. I am the same! Younger than you but retired. I wear hoodies and flannels and jeans. I accessorize with cute hats, but I don't put near the effort into my appearance as I did when I worked around a bunch of other women every day. I already have more clothes than I will ever need, what would I shop for?
Meade said..."Even if my wife were to approve of my wearing the same clothes every day, I would probably still wear fresh underwear on a daily basis. If only out of tradition."
Underwear?
Well socks anyway.
I don't expect a profound experience from running a necessary errand. Maybe examine your expectations? I'm filing this under "way too much overthinking".
Bagoh
Doing it all right on. Congratulations.
Knickers. Fresh. Must.
As John Prine said, my socks are still hard, from a lying on the sofa on the night she was over in my back yard.
Shopping sucks.
However, I bet Robin would feel much better about things if Kamala had won.
And then there’s shopping for bargains. That’s fun. And Good Will gets all the stuff from the back of the closet. Everybody wins.
Think of it as spending your grandchildren’s inheritance.
Robin Givhan hates being encouraged to think rather than feel.
Why is that not surprising?
Hassayamper said...
I'm an aficionado of the "Buy It For Life" movement.
Cast iron Dutch ovens and frying pans.
Mechanical alarm clocks and watches.
When slogging through the homes/barn/garage of my Depression era parents (who didn't throw ANYTHING away), we carefully chose the cast iron to add to our collection. And held onto the alarm clocks and watches. If nothing else, when I think about selling them, I think about my parents and they still remain. My Mom always said that we could deal with and now I will pass some of those "for life" items to my kids to "deal with."
When my Korea vet father in law died, I kept the .45 1911, the M1 Carbine, the P38, but sold the sw .32 five shooter.
Re Buwaya's remarks about consultant clothes. I remember distinctly doing a financing of a building in the late nineties and suddenly all of the due diligence folks were wearing khakis and vests instead of jackets and ties.
Went shopping a couple of times this week with my kid, we bought their first electric guitar.
Maybe some shopping sucks but that was so fun. Ended up with something used that just plays like butter and has the sound she is looking for.
And if it ends up neglected, I found it fun to play and as I have a variety of acoustic instruments it fills a hole.
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