December 1, 2022

"Once they arrive at the tropical island to the sound of birdsong, users can roam a surreal landscape dominated by a permanent beach party."

"As the music blares out thumping dance songs, computer generated avatars wave their multiple limbs while dancing on raised platforms. Above it all a giant red statue of a shot-put athlete, rendered in heroic Soviet style, looms, tensed and poised to throw a heavy shot. Except instead of an iron shot, his ball is a menacing looking coronavirus.... Avatars can walk on water as dolphins leap through the air around them and drones hover bearing message screens flashing words like 'education,' 'public health' and '#WhoWeAre.' Open books are installed on a liquid floor as a 'symbol of the human journey towards knowledge.'..."

From "EU throws gala party for ‘global gateway’ metaverse — and only a handful of people show up" (London Times). 

By "handful," they mean 6. The EU spent £332,500. So that's £55,417 per person.

35 comments:

gilbar said...

WHY would Anyone show up? Of the six.. Were they ALL reporters?

Enigma said...

EU 2022 = Second Life 2004. Second Life's virtual beach parties flamed out commercially by 2009 or 2010.

I guess Mark Zuckerberg's $15B dump into "Meta" prodded the EU to keep up?

As a colleague joked to me long ago: "What's the resolution of the real world? The details are magnificent! The women don't look like cartoons either."

peacelovewoodstock said...

Virtual reality, real stupidity.

VR is ok for games with some structure and a goal. Open world VR gets boring fast.

I have no doubt that this came about as a result of Zuckerberg hobnobbing at the WEF, apparently EU reps loved his koolaid.

Wince said...

By "handful," they mean 6. The EU spent £332,500. So that's £55,417 per person.

Hell, there were seven castaways on Gilligan's Island!

MadisonMan said...

Money wasted. No one will lose their job over this however.

Robert Marshall said...

To be fair, six attendees is MORE than a handful. It is 1.2 handfuls (handsful?), at least for people with the standard number of digits. So come on!

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Ladies and gentlemen, your betters

Top men!!

As a wise anon on some Substack memorably put it: "Just get out of the way, and be prepared for the devastation that follows. These things don't get stopped if you don't strangle them as pups, but they're also not long-lived. The mediocre clowns riding this particular beast are not going to be the ones to figure out the secret to sustainable totalitarianism."


And as this wise anon advises you: this sideshow Oasis/holodeck crap is most definitely an attempt to distract you while *they* seize control and steal everything that isn't nailed down. However, be of good cheer: they are so uproariously bad at it.

hugh42 said...

We will soon start appreciating such remarkable economy of means.

Original Mike said...

""Once they "arrive" at the tropical island …" (scare quotes added)

Contrary to reports, looking at pictures ain't the same as being there.

Michael K said...

Eventually, they may run out of other people's money. Not now, though. Not yet.

tim maguire said...

On the bright side, by government bureaucrat standards, a few hundred thousand euros is nothing. They probably spent more than that on #StopMusk t-shirts.

tim in vermont said...

I once ate at a real-life restaurant in Barbados, where the tables where on little platforms carved into a cliff, with stairways carved between them, overlooking a Caribbean bay, and it was complete with rainbows, a gentle mist of a rain which quickly cleared, fish sporting about in gin clear water below, and then after a great sunset, you could finish your desert and polish off the bottle of wine under a light show of stars, with the Southern Cross as the headliner.

I am not sure it cost more than $75 US a person. But if that restaurant were in the "Metaverse" I would know it was all fake and it would be utterly de-valued.

Leland said...

In a sane world, there might be an investigation into why 1/3 million was spent on a virtual party. But it is the EU, so they'll distract by investigating Musk opening up free speech on Twitter.

Dave Begley said...

Mr. Market is very unhappy with Zuck's spending on the Metaverse. Some on the Street mock Mark. Market cap of FB has taken a beating.

Howard said...

This and the MetaZuckiverse flop are signals that humans are still mostly sane.

rcocean said...

Its the thought that counts!

Thanks EU.

Leland said...

6 means that only program and marketing management showed up, not any developers.

MadisonMan said...

Contrary to reports, looking at pictures ain't the same as being there.
I'm reminded of the Foxtrot Comic series when Roger took everyone to the Caribbeany Resort (Link)

PM said...

Makes the Fyre Fest look like Woodstock.

Rabel said...

1. The EU "Metaverse" is an online multi-player computer game.

2. They paid $400k for the development and maintenance of the game in total.

3. It's online live right now.

4. It has nothing to do with the Zukerberg Metaverse.

5. You don't need a headset. It's just a computer game!

6. The "Beach Party" was a promotion for a specific time period. Nobody showed.

7. It's up right now! You can enter here.

8. Server's overloaded. Long queue. Probably due to recent negative publicity.

Jupiter said...

Maybe they could hold their climate conferences in the metaverse. Instead of flying 700 private jets halfway around the world.

Freeman Hunt said...

Sounds like they needed a virtual "Yes, We Can" concert.

Freeman Hunt said...

A virtual Obama head could zip around smiling benevolently.

Carol said...

"looking at pictures ain't the same as being there."

Truly! One of the best parts of new placrs is simply how different the air feels. Like the heaviness in East Texas, the dryness in Nevada, the perfect humidity in Hawaii.

How they gonna mimic that?

iowan2 said...

To be fair, six attendees is MORE than a handful. It is 1.2 handfuls (handsful?),

How many is a handful of M&Ms
popcorn
10p nails
eggs
alligators
?

MikeR said...

Never heard of it. https://web.journee.live/gateway. I went there; I'm in a queue: "We run out of space... There are 17 guests ahead of you..."

MikeR said...

Eventually it just apologized and told me to come back later. I'm guessing that six people showed up because the other ones got sent away. Glitch.

Enigma said...

@tim in vermont wrote: "I once ate at a real-life restaurant in Barbados, where the tables where on little platforms carved into a cliff,"

He he. I'm glad it worked out well for you. I once ate in a cave restaurant carved into a hillside in Mexico. The wait staff were glum and surly, the management had a lazy system where they showed food options on a huge painted signboard from across the room rather than hand out regular menus, and the quality didn't match the prices.

My wife agreed with my assessment, and said "But they looked so happy in the ads."

What offers worse value in life? Metaverse fantasies or tourist trap restaurants? Hmm?

MikeR said...

Finally got in. Like Second Life without the beautiful characters; I look like a big bug. And without the beautiful spaces that you can build; this is just one big infomercial.
And one of the five characters I see is called "Hitler".

Mikey NTH said...

The audience is off watching the world cup.

Randomizer said...

Remember when blogging was new? Bloggers would marvel that, "People all over the world are reading my page!" It's an epiphany that lasts for about 2 seconds of serious consideration. It could be awesome, or it could be some guy in Belarus trying to steal your credentials.

"Avatars can walk on water as dolphins leap through the air around them ..." sounds awesome, but that Cyberman looks like he is practicing his technique so he can walk out on the water to teabag a dolphin.

I've got a VR system, and enjoy killing dinosaurs and zombies. I have no interest in attending a VRChat to meet old guys pretending to be 15 year-old anime girls.

I feel some sympathy for Zuckerberg and the EU brain trust. They will try and they will fail to get virtual worlds to catch on. Then, a guy like SBF will swindle a billion dollars as he gets others to build him a virtual empire. It won't have liquid floor books and capering dolphins.

Andrew said...

The reason the party failed is they forgot to provide interpretive dancers like they did at the EU parliament.

Big Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
boatbuilder said...

I like your "stupid" tag, Prof. Hah!

Big Mike said...

And one of the five characters I see is called "Hitler".

@MikeR. does he have orange-ish skin and a thick blonde pompadour? Or instead have they moved on so the character resembles the governor of Florida?