Said the Dutch cartoonist Bernard Holtrop, AKA Willem, about all of Charlie Hebdo's "new friends."
"We have a lot of new friends, like the pope, Queen Elizabeth and [Russian President Vladimir] Putin. It really makes me laugh.... Marine Le Pen is delighted when the Islamists start shooting all over the place.... We vomit on all these people who suddenly say they are our friends.... A few years ago, thousands of people took to the streets in Pakistan to demonstrate against Charlie Hebdo. They didn't know what it was. Now it's the opposite, but if people are protesting to defend freedom of speech, naturally that's a good thing."
Why is Holtrop still alive to vomit on the new friends of Charlie Hebdo? He doesn't like meetings:
"I never come to the editorial meetings because I don't like them. I guess that saved my life."
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49 comments:
If you run your company with meetings, the company is taken over by people who like meetings.
I like this guy, a lot.
Proof that meetings are bad for your health.
I fart in your general direction
Recently I saw the movie Selma -- an excellent film by the way -- and it reminded me of things I had forgotten (or told me of some things I never knew) about the civil rights movement under MLK. Specifically how dedicated to nonviolent protest they were.
There is a qualitative -- and moral -- difference between (1) speaking out and seeking to appeal to the consciences of people who are doing something wrong or offensive and (2) shooting the offenders or blowing them up or cutting their heads off (or for that matter rioting and looting).
There is no contradiction is vehemently agreeing with someone's right and practical ability to speak without being made the victim of violence and vehemently disagreeing with the content of what they have to say. That was the MLK, rather, that was the Christian way that he espoused. And the opposite -- disagreeing with their right to speak and thus denying them the ability by killing them -- is the Islamic thug way (and also the leftist, contemporary racialist rioter way).
Maybe the fact that all these people they vomit on are offering the hand of friendship to them, instead of kicking them, will lead them to think that maybe these people aren't so bad after all and should not be vomited on. There can still be satire and poking fun, but without malice.
The Fairweather Friends of Freedom will stand by Charlie until the photo has been taken.
I am Laslo.
It is sad that the magazine wasn't called "A Cucumber In Your Ass" because then all these people would be holding signs declaring "I Have a Cucumber in My Ass." I like that better.
I am Laslo.
I try avoiding meetings as well. One more reason in my arsenal of why.
rehajm, For the win.
He is a leftist and will probably soon announce that he understands the terrorists.
I agree with him. Who wants new friends like Ezra Klein and other lefties who have enabled the enemy to the point of Hedbo massacre and now calling them heroes?
"...but if people are protesting to defend freedom of speech, naturally that's a good thing."
Does Bernard Holtrop believe in free speech? Don't know, but if he's like his co-workers at Charlie Hebdo, he doesn't. Nor do most of the "je suis Charlie" posers pouring out in support. What they demand, and get, is "free speech for me and my fellow lefties, fines and jail for people expressing opinions we don't like".
I vomit on fascists play-acting as free-speech lovers.
He is right.
Political humor especially has to come from a core of Satanic pride.
He cannot accept sympathy without breaking faith with his dead associates, or becoming a different person with a different avocation.
So, the Charlie Hebdo magazine is now trendy...
Charlie!
There's a magazine that's here today, and they call it — Charlie!
A different mag that thinks your way, and they call it – Charlie!
Kinda young, kinda now, Charlie!
Kinda free, kinda wow! Charlie!
The kind of magazine that's gonna stay, and it's here now — Charlie!"
The magazine "A Cucumber in Your Ass" would be thematically consistent: it would depict the week's newsmakers, always with a cucumber in their ass.
Putin with a cucumber in his ass: check.
Obama with a cucumber in his ass: check.
The Pope with a cucumber in his ass: check.
Mohammed with a cucumber in his ass: check, check and double-check.
Each week people would buy the new issue wondering who would have the cucumber in their ass now.
OK, maybe not a magazine but a website.
I am Laslo.
I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is to have vomit in your shoes
The honeymoon with French Leftists didn't last long for righties did it?
To keep "A Cucumber in Your Ass" from becoming too repetitive the size and the color and the nubbly-ness of the cucumber would change in response to the story.
Sometimes someone only gets a small, thin green cucumber, others get the yellow cucumber the size of a baby's arm.
Every few issues there would be the 'special edition' wherein someone particularly egregious gets the cucumber sideways. The 'sideways' cucumber is always depicted as extra nubbly.
I am Laslo.
The issue of "A Cucumber In Your Ass" with Scarlett Johannson would probably be the biggest-seller. That, or the one with Taylor Swift.
Just guessing.
I am Laslo.
garage mahal said...
The honeymoon with French Leftists didn't last long for righties did it?
Honeymooning with fools does not lead to happy relations.
East meet west, even in cucumber insertion.
What is the difference between Persian and English cucumbers and can I use them interchangeably...?
They are both thin-skinned enough to be served unpeeled, and both are nearly seedless. (Persian cucumbers may have a few seeds). English cucumbers are often sold wrapped tightly in plastic and tend to be about a foot long, while Persian cucumbers are only about 5-6 inches.
the most welcome news out of all of this came from (not Obama, not Hollande because they are both incompetents) the Egyptian president chiding the imams to do the right thing and the Anonymous hacker outfit saying they will take down the websites of these groups who massacre the innocents.
"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster! And your father smelt of elderberries!"
Example word balloon: "Sacre bleu! I have a cucumber in my ass!"
Or:
"Gott im Himmel! The French have put a cucumber in my ass!"
and, of course:
"Ibn al-Kalb! The Jews have put a cucumber in my ass!"
I am Laslo.
This vomit guy, I get the feeling they didn't tell him when the meetings were.
The Left's honeymoon with murderous, medieval, homophobic, misogynist, bat-shit, fascist Muzzies rolls sweetly on though. Probably because they have so much in common.
He's got a point.
On the other hand, if you want a foul-weather friend, you can't do much better than:
"We Will Not Cower"
Note the associated links, which go all the way back to defending Rushdie (advocating bombing Iran until the Fatwah was lifted), even though ARI disagreed vehemently with his squishy-leftist politics and neo-post-modernism.
Does anyone else feel almost as though we were watching an episode of "24" but without Jack Bauer?
Of course, there are only so many ways of depicting Putin putting a cucumber in Obama's ass: that is where Creativity comes in. "A Cucumber In Your Ass" will rely heavily on Creativity. And, of course, cucumbers.
I am Laslo.
You mean like say photoshopping a picture of the guy who jumped the White House Fence running across the lawn with a great big cucumber clenched in a raised fist?
"You mean like say photoshopping a picture of the guy who jumped the White House Fence running across the lawn with a great big cucumber clenched in a raised fist?"
You're hired!
I am Laslo.
The Fairweather Friends of Freedom will stand by Charlie until the photo has been taken.
Don't forget the candlelight vigil and the flowers.
Garage: #HashtagSympathy is a rightie gig?
Madam First Lady -- how many girls has #BringBackOurGirls brought back?
"You're hired!"
My dream job just fell in my lap like a...like a...like a cucumber falling out of a miniskirt in a crowded theatre.
Thanks Laslo! I won't let you down.
garage mahal said...
The honeymoon with French Leftists didn't last long for righties did it?
Like the round-the-clock security detail the Thatcher and Major governments provided Salman Rushdie, despite all the mean thinks he'd said about them?
We know you lot are a bunch of petulant ingrates, Garage. Doesn't mitigate our responsibility, though, to protect you from your own stupidities.
Maybe we start here at Althouse, just to get the ball rolling: when a comment is particularly inane the response is "_______ gets the Cucumber in the Ass!"
Eventually Althouse will have to make a Tag for it.
This is how the World in My Mind works.
I am Laslo.
Okay.
Laslo gets the "Cucumber in the Ass."
Started.
Maybe just shorten it to CITA, save some typing: my advice.
"The honeymoon with French Leftists didn't last long for righties did it?"
They call this Tourette's Syndrome. Saying something stupid because of a small seizure.
The Italians are getting it. The trouble is that thousands of smuggled aliens are on their way.
Whatever you say Mr. Spatula sir, but if we could provoke radical Muslims to attack our headquarters or even just blow up the greenhouse it could really put us on the map is all I'm saying.
"...but if we could provoke radical Muslims to attack our headquarters or even just blow up the greenhouse it could really put us on the map is all I'm saying."
Mr. Boyd, besides being a Creative Wizard on the Editorial side you are also a Marketing Genius: with this kind of thinking soon the whole world will have a cucumber up its ass!
I am Laslo.
Like John Lennon I challenge all to Imagine.
We never had a honeymoon with French Leftists. French Leftists are nothing more than the problem children of our honeymoon with Free Speech.
If Betamax and Laslo start communicating back and forth regularly, the internet might break.
Rush Limbaugh and Rachel Maddow with a cucumber in the ass. A bipartisan issue.
Does "We vomit on all these people" sound better in French?
Were any minorities interviewed for this Laslo job? I sense ginger discrimination and here, at a law blog.
All's y'all best be all lubed up that passed me over in the past, tell you what.
I know a source for the biggest, freshest, most-knarled cukes y'all ever done did see.
Birches said...
If Betamax and Laslo start communicating back and forth regularly, the internet might break.
The singularity is at hand
"Marine Le Pen is delighted when the Islamists start shooting all over the place"
That's b*llsh*t of the highest order. If you want to accuse Mme Le Pen of something credible, accuse of of wanting to deport all the Muslims in France, or something like that.
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