It's the way of the old, but I'm glad to be old — old and alive here on Planet Earth, with all you other Earthlings, young and old, who have made it this far.
2014. That's the first time I'm writing the number in the new year. Unluckly '13 is over. We survived. If you are reading this, you survived. Congratulations! What are you going to do with the next morsel of life that's been granted you?
Me, I'm going to blog, blog my way through this morning, and put various things in order. For example, I'm finishing a task of taking everything moveable out of the kitchen, cleaning all the surfaces, then putting back only what deserves to occupy the real estate of the shelves, with each item placed in the most convenient and least annoying way. So the broken panini grill and the second-best toaster no longer wedge in the stack of cake and pie pans, and if the day ever comes when we do make a cake or pie again — and 2 years of low-carb eating do make this a January 1st with no need to make the cliché weight-loss resolution — we won't have to clatter through clutter to get to the requisite housewares.
And I'm going through the email that piled up overnight. There's one titled "Make an impression, Ann," with the timestamp December 31, 2013 11:01:29 PM CST. It's from Democrats <email@example.com>. The Party knows I'm in the Central Time Zone. It's already a minute and 29 seconds into the new year in the Eastern Time Zone, where I picture it situated, but they know where I am, and they know I've got almost an hour left to make a donation in 2013, not that it'd be tax deductible, so what do I care about squeezing in donations in the last moments of '13?
Telling me to "Make an impression" when you think I've got nothing to do on New Year's Eve but check email is kind of depression-inducing. Thanks a lot, Democrats. I mean, I'm glad to be old and alive, glad to have survived into another year on Earth, another year in the United States of America, but you guys haven't done your part (or you have and I just don't like it).
So here's the image the Party throws at me pre-midnight, the first photograph I gaze upon in 2014:
The hell?!! You're giving me the "not impressed" face?! I need to "Make an impression"? I need to "fix that" in my last "few minutes" of the year when you failed so miserably?
I know. I know. I am not the target audience. They know I'm in the Central Time Zone, but they don't know how I really feel about them, even though I've been giving clues, visible to all who are on line, for the past 10 years. The true Democratic Party faithful experience a merged identity with the Party and a weird delusion that the President stands outside of the Party and outside of politics, looking on, like some god. God is watching and we haven't done enough. Be grateful that He is still good humored in his disapproval — good humored and adorable and goofing around with pretty ladies and awesome. Donate!
Oh, I'm donating. I'm donating this blog post. I'm donating to the joy and discernment of the people of Planet Earth, here in the pre-dawn of the first day of the new year, 2014.