November 26, 2013

"Though you haven't heard of it, there are some fundamentalist churches that encourage dating and marrying nonbelievers and trying to convert them."

"It's called 'missionary dating' and it's a real thing."

23 comments:

Lost My Cookies said...

Encourages dating AND marrying? Is there a hidden coven of evangelicals in downtown Vegas lurking in the shadows of the blackjack pit and stealing away unsuspecting bridesmaids in the wee hours when their defense is weakest?

Or worse, could they be hiding under your car in the mall parking lot with a knife and a wedding ring? First they cut your achillies so you cant get away, then they... OMG it's too horrible... put a ring on it and you spend the remainder of your Christmas looking for the baby Jesus that the Wiccans stole from the courthouse manger scene?

'Cause that happened to me.

Curious George said...

There is also doggy style dating. And then they tell you they are a "cat person."

SJ said...

I've heard many stories of Christian (or Mormon) women trying to convert the man they are dating.

I haven't heard of many who overtly hid their religious beliefs while dating, only trying to convert him afterwards...

From another angle, I've heard stories of Muslim men dating a non-Muslim woman, and pressuring women into joining their mosque during the preparation-for-marriage phase.

Would you treat a man who does this differently than a woman?

Would you treat a Muslim or a Mormon differently than you would a Christian? (What Protestant Christians, vs. Catholics?)

Why, or why not, would you react differently?

SJ said...

As a comment to my comment...most of the commentary I heard from inside the Christian community I grew up in was this:

"Missionary Dating" is a bad idea.

While I don't doubt that some Christians have attempted this, it's not, to my knowledge, a mainstream position in the Church.

However, I have seen an instance of a Muslim man showering affection on a Christian woman, in hopes of turning her into a good Muslim wife.

sane_voter said...

However, I have seen an instance of a Muslim man showering affection on a Christian woman, in hopes of turning her into a good Muslim wife.

e.g. The dead Boston marathon bomber

Stephanie Carnes said...

I don't believe it's a real thing. I grew up in a fundamentalist/evangelical church and we (usually girls) were warned against "missionary dating"--justifying dating a non-Christian by saying you were trying to convert him. Tricking a person into marrying you to convert him: talk about a long con!

Ralph Hyatt said...

I had never heard about missionary dating so I looked it up and as others have noted it is about Christians dating unbelievers in the hope of converting them.

It is not about hiding your beliefs until after the wedding and then suddenly trying to impose them.


In this case I think the husband really does have cause to have the marriage annulled.

And I think Christian dating is an excuse you give your parents when you want to date someone who is not a Christian.

Ralph Hyatt said...

meant "missionary dating" is an excuse

Broomhandle said...

Sounds like bullshit to me. Just more liberal screaming at shadows. Next we'll hear about young women unwittingly coaxed into joining militias.

SGT Ted said...

You mean they do "conversion dating" like the liberal college women that promise only to sleep with Democrat voters we hear about every 4 years?

pdn said...

The bible specifically says you should not be unevenly yoked in a marriage. It also discusses what to do if you are in a marriage and then become a Christian. In the second case the people thought they should get divorced because they were now unevenly yoked --- but in this case alone Paul the apostle says you should stay married and be a good spouse in the hopes that your loving actions will convince your spouse to realize the truth of Christ.

Missionary dating is very bad theology.

Diamondhead said...

I've never heard "missionary dating" spoken of in anything other than negative terms in the church or among Christians.

campy said...

I've heard there's a religion that advocates killing nonbelievers. Forget what it's called, though.

Smilin' Jack said...

Well, I'm a nonbeliever. I wonder if, say, Jennifer Lawrence would like to convert me to something....

EDH said...

And the guy who tried to domesticate Annie Oakley was "reverse cowgirl" dating.

MadisonMan said...

Why should you marry someone you want to change? Why would you love someone so very flawed to begin with, in your own eyes?

n.n said...

There should be a law governing concealed carry... of bibles.

That said, if you don't know your girlfriend or boyfriend's moral philosophy, and its justification, then you are doing something wrong.

Marshal said...

Though you haven't heard of it, there are some fundamentalist churches that encourage dating and marrying nonbelievers and trying to convert them. It's called "missionary dating" and it's a real thing.

I'm sure there are dozens of missionary daters ruining the lives of unbelievers.

Paul said...

Is missionary dating like the missionary position?

Is it ok to sleep with a non-believer so they can be converted later?

Interesting questions there.

hombre said...

pdn (8:51) is exactly correct. 2 Corinthians 6:14 forbids "unequal yoking."

So now we're told by some yo-yo who follows an advice to the lovelorn column in Slate that "fundamentalists" who, by definition, believe the Bible to be inerrant are putting their souls on the line to entice heathens into marriage for the purpose of conversion. Evidently, in numbers sufficient to be worth mentioning.

Sounds like something Slate readers would believe.

James said...

It's not a real thing beyond the "Children of God" cult.

damikesc said...

You mean they do "conversion dating" like the liberal college women that promise only to sleep with Democrat voters we hear about every 4 years?

Given how the liberal women looked in my college days, that was hardly a perk.

Kirk Parker said...

MadMan,

Well, yeah; at least you would think so!

But then there is this saying:

* A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he doesn't.

* A man marries a women hoping she won't change, but she does.

That had to some from somewhere.