This post is for betamax3000, who said, in last night's Koi Café:
I Am Going to Try an Experiment to Determine the Depths of My Althouse Comment Addiction: I Will Not Post a Comment for the Next Twenty-Four Hours. God, Give Me Strength. And -- Please -- No Robot Posts.And I said:
But I have a Google alert on "robot."And as long as you're over there rooting around in the Koi Café, I'm seeing Titus's list of what's hot this summer in Ptown, which he says "will arrive in Jesusland, in approximately 9 months," which makes Inga say "I got the no bra and kale thing, woo hoo! I'm ahead of the game!" and Palladian says "Kale? Varvatos? LOL. Poor Titus, about 2 years behind the trends. What a drag it is getting old."
And Meade says "Ha ha. Cool woud be growing ornamental kale in an old pair of Varvatos boots you bought in SOHO a dozen years ago. Hot: Italian wedding soup." I extract the information that it was Varvatos boots that Meade acquired — on the advice of his Cincinnati-based style consultant — to look good enough for me the first time we met, in January 2009, which was 4 years ago.
Now that you've got your shoes on...
Release the robot insects!
Posts
60 comments:
Cue the "X Files" cockroach story.
Guess they'll have to rewrite the Raid commercials.
What about robot bug drones? They could be democrats, work for the IRS, and spy on Mitch McConnell.
When they hear something against the speech code, they could shoot a miniature Molotov cocktail pellet into Mitch's veins.
One of the Snopes rumors was that DARPA is working on Insect Spy Drones. Bet the NSA would love those.
I for one do not welcome our robot overlords.
Robot centipedes, shudder, ew.
DARPA is working on Insect Spy Drones.
Please, any well-read American could tell you Professor Bullfinch perfected that technology back in the 1970s.
Oh yeah, thanks for my second tag!
Nothing will ever match the surveillance capability of the common cell phone. You carry it everywhere you go, you tell it every secret. If someone is watching through that device they don't need no stinking robots out looking for you.
The cell phone is a black widow device, so seductive you insist on keeping her close no matter how dangerous she becomes.
I bet if we found out that the government could detonate any cellphone and kill it's owner at any time, we still would carry them around everywhere like, like, well, like a cellphone.
"The cell phone is a black widow device, so seductive you insist on keeping her close no matter how dangerous she becomes."
6/24/13, 4:22 PM
Want to avoid the black widow spider robot spy device? Just avoid the ones with the red spot on their asses.
Now the Men-in-Black can snoop you with their pesticide resistant bugs. Are you paranoid yet?
Did they target practice one of these on Hastings?
"The Switchblade is a one-use drone, powered by a quiet electric motor, that weighs about six pounds and flies up to 50 mph for 15 minutes. Switchblade carries a high-explosive warhead that can blow up everything within a 1-, 5-, or 7-meter range around the drone; it can take out an individual, or a truck."
http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2013-06/actually-us-could-totally-kill-edward-snowden-drone-strike
Little people, do you feel helpless yet? Big Sis is on you.
And what of a weaponized military robot bug with reproductive capability?
Meade has a style consultant?
Why the 5 dollar WalMart shirts? Who knew my hubby was on trend?
We couldn't get the WalMart shirt, but that's another story.
Meade and my hubby look a lot alike. Both cute distinguished and cuddly looking.
It would be really easy to start a rumor that all the political paranoids would believe. What if that reporter whose name I've already forgotten was driving 100+ mph in his Mercedes because he was being chased by a 6" mechanical hornet that was flying along right behind him, talking to him the whole time, and telling him it was going to kill him by flying in one ear and out the other? That would explain how he hit the palm tree so hard his engine ended up far away. If you still can't figure out how his car caught on fire, maybe it was a 6" metal hornet with a flame-thrower snout. It's not hard to think of other possibilities that the NSA and CIA are already working in in the real world, while screenwriters do the same in the virtual world.
What happens when I take 15 minutes polishing up a comment? Someone like elkh1 says pretty much the same thing 12 minutes before me. If I were the NSA I'd find out his name in about a minute and a half and send a killer hornet after him in less than an hour. Or maybe a killer dragonfly with acid-squirting eyes and buzz-saw mandibles - more stylish.
Ooooh, look at the tags, look at all the names in the tags, oooooh, I never noticed until you pointed it out but now that you did, ooooooh look at you, betamax3000, Inga, Meade, Palladian, Titus and vegetables, ooooooh I gently cleek on them, click, click, click, click, click-- ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha nothing moves!
It is 10:53 PM that Betamax can speak again (unless he went insane in solitary.) His 24 hours in hell will be over then... but was that Eastern or Central Time... he could emerge at 9:54 Eastern.
Right on, Seeing Red. War of the Coprophages is classic! (And my first thought on seeing this post.)
Betamax may have been carried away by thousands of those little black spiders he speaks of.....
Or he may have become one with the spider, Brundlespider.
wyo sis said...
"Meade has a style consultant? "
5 years ago, single for 3 years after being married for 25, I knew I could use some help before a big date that was coming up. So I called someone for advice - someone I trusted who knew me well. It went something like this:
Dinner and a movie... so what do you think I should wear?
Well you need some new Levi's anyway. These will be fine. And your navy jacket with that blue work shirt you have will be perfect. But you need better shoes. Do you even have anything besides work boots and biking shoes?
No.
Here, these boots will be great. Expensive, but she'll appreciate them. And get this wallet and a new belt. Hey, by the way, who is she? She must be special.
She is. But I can't tell you her name yet because she's sort of famous and I should get her permission before announcing it. Maybe if she says yes to a second date, I'll be able to tell you.
Is it Condoleeza Rice? It's Condoleezza Rice, isn't it? And you can't tell me because of national security reasons, am I right?
Damnit, how'd you guess? Yes, I'm dating Condi. Now keep it a secret or both of our lives could be in danger.
Poor betamax.
Ernst Junger's "The Glass Bees" come to life.
For those going through Betamax withdrawal, here is a 1979 Betamax commercial. Yea!
I kinda got the freaky deakies watching that. I thought that old lady was going to be attacked by robot spiders or something.
Is betamax really Vanquishing His Sickness?
We need something to attack Tie Fighters.
Release the robot insects!
And if they have cameras and are released in the master bedroom of the Meadhouse?
Poor Beta, blinking
12:00
12:00
12:00
In the silent dark.
I'm just waiting until some of you cell phone fanatics gets one implanted in his skull..I give it 3-5 more years
I am watching Big Bang Theory and they just made an Admiral Ackbar joke.
Here's the Admiral Ackbar techno remix, which cracks me up.
Here's Admiral Ackbar doing movie commentary.
"but was that Eastern or Central Time"
No, all the time stamps are Central Time.
And I am not off-topic because robot bugs is like crack cocaine for Betamax.
It's a trap!
Beta come back!
It is -- Thank God -- Past 8:53 PM.
The Central Time Zone RALLY Confuses Me, But I Will Save that for a Post about 1970's Texas Instrument LED Watches.
I Gave It Almost an Extra Thirty Minutes to prove My Sturdiness of Will and to Make Sure that I --Indeed-- Did Cross the Finish Line,..
This Sturdiness has Nothing to Do with the Imaginary Flies I Have Been Dealing With for the Last Twenty-Four Hours. Robot Flies are Much More Predictable: Counter-Clockwise All Day Long.
I Have Proved that I am In Control of My Urges.
My Head is Full of Baby Spiders and Unwritten Books: Twenty-four Hours is, as it were, a Centrifuge.
But: by not Commenting for Twenty-Four Hours the Fever has Passed and I Did not Subject Ann's Loyal Followers to the Althouse Dialectic Scientology Paradigm I Wrote. Three-Thirty in the Morning: Althouse, Volcanoes, Travolta, Meade -- I Made Coherent sense of it ALL.
Heh, I knew I could summon him.
Thousands of little insect tales spinning in his head......
I was beginning to worry that Betamax, had under the guise of detox, really engaged us in a rouse, to get us distracted while he went to other blogs and engaged in blog wonton abandon.
Good job Pollo.
Things I Learned in My Twenty-Four Hour Althouse Comment Withdrawal:
• the Shakes -- they Get Real Bad;
• Twenty-Four Hours is A Long Period of Time When You Deny Yourself;
• the Baby Spiders are Real;
• I Love the Commenters: Read All the Posts, All Day, Tongue Bound, and Realized in Retrospect that --Perhaps -- I Occasionally Suck Too Much Oxygen From the Room;
• Still Don't Quite Get Central Time;
• the Scientology "No Fear' Paradigm Crosses Neuropaths with Cruel Neutrality: when I get it Down to Four Paragraphs I Will Thrust it Sideways Into a Thread about Gabe Kaplan;
• it -- Technically -- is Not a Burning Sensation.
I'm not sure if Sex Robot goes here or on the café thread.
Kinda freaky how the judge looks like David Gregory.
David Gregory: "To the extent that you're a sex robot, why shouldn't you be charged with a crime?"
Sex Robot: "Sex robot. Sex robot."
David Gregory: "Yeah, but..."
Sex Robot: "Sex robot. Sex robot."
David Gregory: "You're freaking me out."
Sex Robot: "Sex robot. Sex robot."
A Centrifuge that went off the Althouse vortex for 24 hours...
Ladies and gentleman I never thought it could be done... Amelia never did come back.
I think I can say tonight that we are in Betamax debt. From now on it will be possible to risk loosing wifi knowing that it is a survivable non-event thanks to the courage and determination of one man. and his name is Betamax.
Don't be surprised if Betamax top all baby name list worldwide sometime next year. People naming their babies in his honor.
Shut-in-ism could very well be a thing of the past.
Anyone heard from that Victorian cockroach lately?
Still Don't Quite Get Central Time;
Its like Althouse politics, I think.
@Lem:
You're one of those trenchant warriors whom Althouse too easily overlooks.
I salute you.
You're one of those trenchant warriors whom Althouse too easily overlooks.
The bright side is I got no pressure, I like to hang back in the shadows with Dick Chaney. That's my idea of fun.
RE: "trenchant warriors"
I Will Not Legally Admit to Being a "TrenchCoat Warrior, Wearing a TrenchCoat and No Pants and Advising Strangers in the Street By My Coat Lining. No: Not Me.
Ohmygoodness... my tinfoil trutherism conspiracy switch has been engaged. Once that happens I cant disengage it. Its like Betamax no brakes car.
Betamax is Althouse's ghost writer.
Developing....
Re: "Developing.... "
Damn! I Should've Known Lem was Drudge, but with a better Late-Nite Play List!
BTW.. thanks pollo.
And I'm sorry for taking a swipe at you the other day. I hadn't read what you were responding to and I just blindly commented assailing you for something you probably didn't even mean.
again my sincerest apologies.
Sometimes I just Get Lucky.
On titus recommendation last night.. very good.
@Lem:
I missed the swipe. I didn't notice. Sorry. My favorable opinion of you is based on years of observation of character.
I strive for consistency, so if something about me bugs you--send me a bat signal.
You got it.
BTW are you in law... entertainment law by any chance?
At the Metaphorical Althouse Denny's I want More hash Browns and Non-Dairy Creamer: I am building a Mountain.
I once Knew a Stripper who was into "entertainment law": she was Always Exhibiting Her Briefs.
The Constitution Has Thigh Gap.
she was seeing Snowden on the side too.
A the thigh gap something can be a tax and a penalty depending on what coast you are... but if you are in central time... then its anybody's guess.
I Have Proved that I am In Control of My Urges.
I have figured out addiction, and sorry, Betamax, you have not passed the real test. The real test is to not think of it.
The opposite of love is not hate: it is apathy (I heard that in a movie, and approve of this aphorism).
So long as you are listening, watching, etc., you are still an Althouse addict.
Mr. Ed had words about "thigh gap."
Perhaps you missed it: link
BTW are you in law... entertainment law by any chance?
Though I do like law and entertainment.
I would like to start a business wherein I provide astonishingly shocking ringtones of "old voices" saying rude or funny things.
Who can broker this exchange?
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