March 26, 2013

"What To Look For In A Husband Post-Divorce."

When I clicked here from Instapundit, I wasn't sure if this title, I had no idea whether the article was about what to seek in post-marriage from the man you are divorcing or the search for a new husband. Turns out it's the latter:
When you're finally ready to remarry post-divorce, you need to know what characteristics to look for in a husband....
Does anyone think like this? Okay, now I'm ready to get married again, what should I want? Somehow you know you want marriage, but you don't want any particular marriage. This sounds like the way some people decide they want to go shopping, and then they try to drum up ideas about something worth buying.

The author of the linked article comes up with 5 traits — e.g., communication skills (strong communication skills) and a sense of humor (a great sense of humor) — that sound like the same list of things she'd put on a traits-for-first-husbands list. 

31 comments:

AllenS said...

I guess the biggest question would be: has this new husband been married before, and if yes, then, did the old wife leave him with a pot to piss in?

Shouting Thomas said...

Reads depressingly like the lists the female "experts" draw up for a job interview.

Notice that there is no awareness at all that the female "shopper" should focus on having something to offer to her potential mate. You'd think that, since the reader is a woman emerging from a failed relationship, a degree of introspection about her role in that failure might play a part.

As usual with the contemporary spoiled American woman, it's all one way.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

While a agree that the linked article is inane for the reasons you give, I do think both individuals and society would be better off if people gave the issue more advanced thought.

If you expect your future to include a spouse, figure out what characteristics are important to you, and how you will determine if a potential spouse has them. Of course such thoughts will go right out the window the moment you fall in love. Hopefully, sometime after the initial infatuation wears off and before you say I do those thoughts will resurface and help you make a better decision.

Nathan Alexander said...

The article would be more useful if it had pretty much the exact same content but a slightly different premise:

"Traits to develop in yourself, post-divorce".

However, the default assumption of all women, everywhere, is that regardless of whatever flaws they may have, they are still perfect and need not change anything.

Pettifogger said...

In fairness, one might want the companionship marriage provides and still need to think about what characteristics would be best in the companion.

Matthew Sablan said...

Also: Try not to marry murderers. That's bad.

Man. I should get a job with HuffPo for that bit of insight.

MadisonMan said...

I don't think I can take an article seriously if the person writing it named a dating service Dating with Dignity.

Big Mike said...

Okay, now I'm ready to get married again, what should I want?

You wanted Meade. We all know that.

Ann Althouse said...

"'Okay, now I'm ready to get married again, what should I want?' You wanted Meade. We all know that."

I didn't first want to get married, then figure out that I wanted someone like Meade, then locate Meade!

It happened in the reverse order.

Maybe that's why it took me 17 years to remarry, but I've never in my life thought purely in the abstract that I want to be married.

I start with the default position: don't do anything.

St. George said...

When men go shopping for a wife, the store they go to has four floors.

On the first floor are women who laugh at their jokes.

On the second floor are women who laugh at their jokes and cook well.

On the third floor are women who laugh at their jokes, cook well, and enjoy sex.

No man has ever gone to the fourth floor looking for a wife.

The store where women go to look for a husband has 99 floors.

There are thousands of women who reach the 99th floor and still haven't found the right man.

TomHynes said...

Male logic is simpler:

When you're finally ready to get laid post-divorce, you need to know what characteristics to look for...

Shouting Thomas said...

When you're finally ready to get laid post-divorce, you need to know what characteristics to look for...

Women are thinking the same thing.

Women lie to themselves in a way that they think makes them saintly. Men are honest with themselves.

Sorun said...

This sounds glib but I'm serious: Ladies, while you're looking for a guy with all of those great characteristics, get to the gym and get your body back in shape. IN SHAPE!

Mitchell the Bat said...

It never before occurred to me that someone could get same-sex divorced and then gear up for the next same-sex marriage.

Hmmm.

I'll have to think about that.

Kit said...

I start with the default position: don't do anything

My little sister did the same thing - then crossed paths with an all-out, super-great guy.

Lyle said...

People, women and men, are just selfish and stupid... that's why they get divorced.

Don't be selfish and/or stupid.

Think about your relationships! And be kind!

Lem said...

Same sex is in.

Lem said...

Beat by a bat.

Lem said...

M the Bat @9:24

rhhardin said...

Women don't like a sense of humor.

edutcher said...

The Blonde was looking for 8 things:

No tattoos

No piercings

Doesn't swear

Doesn't drink

Doesn't smoke

Doesn't do drugs

Doesn't hit

Doesn't try to kill people

I was the one.

OTOH, I found a girl that was a lot of fun with a good sense of humor, sensational hourglass proportions, big heart, and didn't think I was all that weird, after all.

We were perfect.

Jim said...

"I start with the default position: don't do anything."

I knew Althouse was a conservative.

BarrySanders20 said...

At least one man said to himself: "Justice Ann Walsh Bradley. Now that's the kind of girl for me!"

Methadras said...

If, heaven forbid I found myself on the other side of divorce, I'd never consider getting married again.

ken in sc said...

Actually, this is pretty good advice for women getting married after divorce. Most women go into their first marriage because of the tingles. After a while, the tingles go away and she dumps him; or she gets fat and he dumps her.

For a second marriage, a woman has to do the due diligence that families and matchmakers used to do, and not pay so much attention to the tingles. Same for a man.

Emil Blatz said...

Try not to marry schizophrenics. That's a wild ride on a rough road.

Bob said...

Ladies, take small steps. Like "make sure the first guy I jump into bed with is someone I've had a conversion with. And who is actually good for me."

The other step is freshen up as you're in the market. A lot of fish in the sea (local conditions may vary).

elkh1 said...

When you're finally ready to remarry post-divorce, you need to know what characteristics to look for in a husband....

How about a new you, then a husband who wants you?

Meade said...

What To Look For in a Wife Post-Divorce:

Someone in the default position: don't do anything.

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