February 9, 2013

"Grandma called very worried that you would get lost in the snow and eaten by penguins."

"Give her a call to reassure her if you get the chance. Stay warm."

Have you expressed sufficient concern over your East Coast adult children?

And make sure they know not to eat yellow snow:
It's a very important point.... Let me explain this to you.  Snow is white.  That is, until cars drive on it, and of course they just turn it black and dirty like they do to the environment anyway.  But sometimes when you're in the snow where cars haven't been, and it's just lovely, beautiful and white and you're walking in it, which again you shouldn't do.  Don't go outside.  But if you do, and if you've stretched and if you're not exerting yourself, you're walking and you might see a patch of yellow snow, and say, "Whoa, what is that?"

It might look like a natural snow cone to you.  Don't eat it.  Do not scoop it up and eat it.  Yellow snow is not good for you.  It is sterile, I mean, you can rest assured that it is sterile.  But you know what the problem with this is, though?  It's like when I say, "Don't think pink," what are you doing?  You're thinking pink.  Don't eat yellow snow, people are gonna go, "Oh, yellow snow, Limbaugh said don't eat it. I wonder why."  Just don't.

45 comments:

Bob Ellison said...

It's not sterile.

ganderson said...

Dreamed I was,
an Eskimo...

wyo sis said...

LOL
This is why I listen to Rush every chance I get.

edutcher said...

These are the parents that let people like William Ayers set their children's and grandchildren's curricula.

kentuckyliz said...


Have you expressed sufficient over your East Coast adult children?


angst? anxiety? fear? loathing? hate?

There's a word missing.

MadisonMan said...

Just saw a picture from a friend in Lexington MA...they opened their garage door to a wall of snow. Completely drifted over.

Awesome!

But I wouldn't want to be there on Monday when the rain starts.

Humperdink said...

Our annual storm of the century. Biggest, baddest one ever .... until next year.

Mary Beth said...

What Bob Ellison said. They used to believe that it was sterile until it reached the urethra, but now they have found that it may have bacteria, even in the bladder.

Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow

DADvocate said...

In 1994 we got 2 feet of snow here in Maysville. The penguins were on a rampage. 6, maybe 8, people were eaten. Once the snow melted off, the penguins left, but many of us are scarred for life.

SJ said...

Meh.

My parents tell a story of a bad year for snow.

The year was '78. They lived in an apartment that overlooked I-75 in Toledo.

The morning after the blizzard, they awoke to the sound of a silent freeway.

Wake me up when a blizzard of that scale comes through the MidWest again.

Bob Ellison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Humperdink said...

@DADvocate. And there is nothing you can do about it. Penguins have been on the endangered list in the US since the Bush administration.

Humperdink said...

The Weather Channel TV reporter from Connecticut stated the following: "Here in Connecticut, there is snow on the ground for as far as the eye can see."

Bob Ellison said...

The US PARLA (Penguin Attack Rate on Live Adults) has gone down pretty sharply in the last twenty years. Some ascribe this to the increase in gun ownership. Others say it's due to better fish in the zoos and aquariums. Interestingly, however, the PARLC (...Children) has increased slightly during the same period.

Interested parties have suggested that America should recognize penguins' right to wing arms, as that might induce them to satisfy themselves with seals, and leave the humans alone. But that might also lead to a PPE (Penguin Population Explosion), which could drive marauding penguin packs north, even, perhaps especially, to the Arctic, where they could decimate the endangered polar bear and ruin years of work and trillions of dollars spent on defeating AGW (Anthropogenic Global Warming).

Bob Ellison said...

...and we'd suffer the bitter injury of a sequel to Happy Feet, probably entitled Terrible Feet.

EDH said...

Power outages seem concentrated in coastal regions, where the was less snow (but probably wetter) and stronger winds.

ricpic said...

Don't go outside or you'll die!

But Rush also warned about the increased carbon monoxide danger if you stay inside in a storm.

What to do? WHAT TO DO?!

purplepenquin said...

Given the way the media has been portraying penguins the last few years, it is no surprise that there is a lot of anti-spheniscidae bigotry out there.

AEH said...

Up here in Montreal, while the world was freaking out about the snowstorm, everybody went, "Meh, whatevs," (but in French) and continued on with life. Snow means that it is warm outside.

My Grandma would always tell me to wear a hat instead of a headband because heat escapes from the head and I could get sick and die. I thought she was silly when I was 8, now I take that advice seriously.

ndspinelli said...

"Scare the shit out of them" is the philosophy of all tv news/weather broadcasts.

DADvocate said...

My parents tell a story of a bad year for snow.

The year was '78. They lived in an apartment that overlooked I-75 in Toledo.


That same blizzard hit Maysville that year. I didn't live here then, but the natives describe it as worse than 1994, which was the worst I've ever experienced.

In '78, one farmer had an entire herd of cattle eaten by penguins. Nothing but bones left.

Bob Ellison said...

DADvocate, if that happens again, be sure to check Pinterest. There are some lovely penguin-pecked beef bone decoration ideas up there.

As my whimsy leads me.. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
As my whimsy leads me.. said...

I remember that, Dadvocate. I was living up the river in Ashland, then. (You and Meade will understand, but for the rest of y'all, "up the river" means "to the east, following the Ohio River." Even people in Columbus don't understand that expression.) We lived on the top of a big hill, and I worked at a local hospital. (KDMC) I managed to get to work every day without a 4-wheel drive vehicle, but had to leave my car at the bottom of the hill and walk up. The highways in Kentucky were shut down for several days. All of our deliveries were delayed, demonstrating why "Just in time" stocking is not a good idea in hospitals. And why everyone should not wait until the last minute to get prescriptions filled or refilled.

It also brought all the neighbor kids out having mass snow building and snowball fights. So, actually some fun, once the shock wore off. Kentucky always seems to get its worst snows in Feb or March. But nothing really compares to to the winters of 1977 and 1978. In '77, the Ohio River froze over, and there was a natural gas shortage, with daily temperatures of -20 degrees. The schools were closed for about a month, and the kids eventually had to make up the time on Saturdays, extended days, and were not out until the end of June. My sister and I were delivering Louisville Courier-Journals (by car) every morning in the Maysville-Aberdeen area. Holy cow, that was cold!

Toy

Kelly said...

Winter of 77/78 will always remain in my memory. Lots of snow,, but the cold as well. Remember the energy controls Jimmy Carter put on business and government buildings? We lived in a funeral home that of course was a business, but also a family dwelling.

We weren't allowed to raise our thermostat above 65. In an old, three story house that wasn't sufficient to keep the place even chilly. Our kitchen and family room was in the basement, so it was damp and cold. My dad went to the county council for a waver which they refused to grant, bastards. We lived that winter in long underwear and booties our neighbor knit for us. My bedroom was in the attic and I could see my breath.

Street lights were turned off, so my parents had to rent a generator to power the street lights for calling hours.

David said...

It's a snowstorm. The snow will fall. The snow will melt. All but the genuinely reckless or fantastically unlucky will survive just fine. Total media hype.

dbp said...

My dad, who almost never calls, called around the time we had one inch of snow to see how we were. I said, "I'll let you know in 30 hours."

Seeing Red said...

Stay away from blue snow.

Don said...

Snoopy and Frank Zappa agree with Rush!

Skyler said...

Where does this foolish notion come from that urine is sterile? I even hear doctors repeating it.

No one ever seems to explain how "sterile" urine is consistent with bladder infections.

heyboom said...

In my four years living in the Upper Peninsula, we had to keep the snow shovel on the inside of the house in order to dig our way out...to shovel the walks and the driveway.

It's the primary reason I live in Southern California now. Although, yesterday my foursome got hailed on twice at the golf course. Pretty cool, actually.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Ok. I understand that this snow storm has dropped a more than normal amount of snow.....but really? Snowmegadon? The over the top breathless reporting? The talking heads and airheaded bimbos just salivating for some sort of disaster, catastrophe to occur so that they can emote on air. The cherry on the sundae is if someone dies. SCORE!!

Seriously. They act like there has never been a snow storm or rain storm. Everything that happens on the East Coast somehow takes on epic proportions and becomes an obsessive focus.

If we in fly over country get 3 feet of snow and are in sub zero temperatures for months.....no big deal. Let NYC get a bit of snow....>OMG!!!! Huge story.

What a bunch of sissies and panty waisted wusses. The people in Montana are laughing at you. The people in Canada think you are silly dopes.

dbp said...

"No one ever seems to explain how "sterile" urine is consistent with bladder infections."

Urine is normally sterile. If someone with a UTI uriniated on the snow, then it wouldn't be sterile. Of course, nature is teeming with mostly harmless, microbes.

Moneyrunner said...

@heyboom. I remember my days at Michigan Tech in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. 240+ inches of snow in a season was not unusual. Of course that amount of snow could not simply be plowed aside and it didn't get warm enough between snowfalls to melt away. Spreading "stamp sand" made the roads drivable but it sure made a mess in the spring. I wonder what they do now?

Sam L. said...

Them penguins is vicious!

Rush, having fun, as usual.

Darrell said...

Researchers have determined that bacteria are present in the bladders of some healthy women, which discredits the common belief that normal urine is sterile. These findings were published in the April issue of the Journal of Clinical Microbiology by researchers at Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine (SSOM)....The urine was analyzed using advanced DNA-based detection methods. These tests determined that the adult female bladder can contain certain forms of bacteria that are not identified by urine culture techniques that are typically used to diagnose UTIs.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120409164156.htm

A doctor I once met at a convention once said that everything that is your body can be found in your urine to some extent. And that includes bacteria, viruses and fungi. Finding it is only a matter of how much money you want to spend for testing. People telling you it's sterile and perfectly safe have ulterior motives. Run.

Joan said...

DBQ, I agree on the stupidity of the newschannel hyperbole. That said, the problem with storms like this is not the snow (it's expensive to move it off the roads, but so what) it's the power outages.

My older sister finally convinced my mother to decamp from her home on the Cape where she's been without power since last night, and they are predicting multi-day repair times. It's one thing to have no electricity in the summer, it's quite another when it's 20 degrees or less outside. Oil and gas furnaces will work just fine, but they use electrically powered thermostats. (I've always thought that's stupid -- is this really the bast system we can come up with?)

The Cape didn't get that much snow but it was the heavy, wet kind, and they have the most vulnerable infrastructure. Since it's in Massachusetts the likelihood of them doing anything useful to harden the infrastructure is nil.

I'm glad my sister's boyfriend has 4-wheel-drive SUV (he lives in NH) that can safely get to my Mom. I hope all the folks affected by the power outage have somewhere warm they can go, if they don't have woodstoves or workable fireplaces, neither of which was an option for my mother.

Bob Ellison said...

A  †enguin once bit my sister.

Darrell said...

I never trust a penguin that spells his/her/its name with a "Q."

Humperdink said...

My Penguins lost to the New Jersey Devils today ..... in New Jersey of all places.

Synova said...

There was never all that much snow when I was a kid but I'd see pictures of when my Dad was young and there would be snowdrifts 15 and 20 feet deep, blocking doors, all that.

My dad put electric heat in the houses he built, no old fashioned radiators and no gas heat, but he always made sure there was a wood (or coal) stove because winter is cold and the power goes out. As "disaster" preparedness goes, that's more like "sure thing" preparedness.

The power WILL go out when it's cold.

Plan on it.

Sam L. said...

Well, we all know that heavy snow is a sign of Global Warming! And it's all due to BUSH!!!!!11!!!

Kirk Parker said...

Joan,

"Oil and gas furnaces will work just fine, but they use electrically powered thermostats. (I've always thought that's stupid -- is this really the best system we can come up with?)"

You're joking, right?

Modern oil furnaces use electricity to light the darn stuff in the first place (and by "modern" I mean every one made since about 1930 or so.) Ever try throwing a match into a pool of diesel? Don't try this at home--IF you want your home to be warm; it's NOT volatile and it WILL NOT catch on fire.

Gas, being already, well, gas, mixes well with air and lights readily at room temperature without the above-mentioned heroics, so it is possible to have a gas furnace--oops, I mean heater that ignites by a pilot light and has a mechanical thermostat (in fact I lived for a year in a house with one of those as its only source of heat.) However, it's not really appropriate to call one of those a furnace as that word (at least in the US) implies something that heats your whole house, and generally that also implies forced-air heat, and thus the unfortunate introduction of the need for electricity to run the fan.

MrCharlie2 said...

first storm of the century of 2013 !!!!!!!

MrCharlie2 said...

Joan,
Kirk is correct. A generator has become a necessity in NE U.S. Hope all is well.

Kirk: have you ever lived through one of these things? I'm catching up on video from Sandy that I guess everyone saw on the evening news, except everyone in my neck of the woods