October 31, 2012

"When you're nice to someone else... that someone else is nice back to you, and suddenly two people feel good about themselves and each other, and spread their feelings."

Wrote Letitia Baldrige, in her "New Manners for New Times."

She died on Monday, at the age of 86.

15 comments:

Methadras said...

Yeah, well, she never got a taste for Urkel's new civility.

chickelit said...

I believe that sort behavior (unilateral niceness) is learned early in childhood and cannot be learned later on in life except through epiphany.

n.n said...

That is a traditional principle. By virtue of its antiquity, it must be wrong.

That said, it promotes, but does not, unfortunately, guarantee an outcome.

Caveat emptor. Life is an exercise in risk management.

Carl said...

And yet despite this stupendous insight into a blindingly simple solution, we continue to have war, murder, divorce, abuse, and teens hanging themselves after Facebook griefing.

We must all be really, really dumb and pigheaded.

Or...hmmm...just possibly, this hypothetical solution admits of one or two exceptions.

chickelit said...

n.n said...
That is a traditional principle. By virtue of its antiquity, it must be wrong.

I recall making a point about burden of proof in a legal context and defended it by saying it was tradition. The answer I got back was "fuck you and your tradition."


Ali Karim Bey said...

AM I NOT the NICEST political consultant you know?

I do service for you. See examples:

- I was the first person to let you know that Obama return from FL to DC on Sun. was a MASTER-STROKE. Even though I voted for Romney on Fri.

- I was the first to tell you that Sandy was going to give POTUS enormous election fortune today onwards. I was right.

- I am also the first to tell you that Obama will defeat Romney by a squeaker because it is hard for GOP to fight three battles:
1. Power of incumbency.
2. Power of Press for POTUS Obama.
3. International support for POTUS Obama.

In sum, I saved you all anxieties by telling you first what you would find out later.

What a guy? Right? IF you agree, please do let Stephanie C. know. Sounds fair?

Ali Karim Bey said...

AM I NOT the NICEST political consultant you know?

I do service for you. See examples:

- I was the first person to let you know that Obama return from FL to DC on Sun. was a MASTER-STROKE. Even though I voted for Romney on Fri.

- I was the first to tell you that Sandy was going to give POTUS enormous election fortune today onwards. I was right.

- I am also the first to tell you that Obama will defeat Romney by a squeaker because it is hard for GOP to fight three battles:
1. Power of incumbency.
2. Power of Press for POTUS Obama.
3. International support for POTUS Obama.

In sum, I saved you all anxieties by telling you first what you would find out later.

What a guy? Right? IF you agree, please do let Stephanie C. know. Sounds fair?

Chip S. said...

I wish there were more women named Tish in the world.

bagoh20 said...

"We must all be really, really dumb and pigheaded."

Yep, I'm thinking that's the problem, and it's probably innate to the species, but once you know that, you can work on it.

Crunchy Frog said...

"When you're nice to someone else... that someone else is nice back to you, and suddenly two people feel good about themselves and each other, and spread their feelings."

And their legs.

Penny said...

Go 'head. You first.

n.n said...

chickelit:

That couldn't have been me. I make every effort to ensure that my comments are as dry as possible.

Some traditions stand the test of time. Some traditions are enforced by an immutable natural order.

Carl:

It actually does not require many people to disrupt an otherwise peaceful environment. Consider that the criminal or deviant always has the advantage, as it is a proactive force, and we generally lack the ability to divine intent and forestall actions.

As for motive, all people dream of instant gratification (i.e. material, physical, ego). However, most people are also capable of self-moderating behavior, and by that virtue are eligible to enjoy an optimal liberty. While others are held accountable by similarly empowered competing interests, which, incidentally, is a prerequisite for a stable society.

In the physical world, minimizing the differential between the input and output to a system increases the likelihood of an outcome. It reduces the potential energy separating two states. In human society it reduces the opportunity cost. So, with civilized society, it is imperative to promote a respect for individual dignity in order to ensure a mutually tolerable environment.

chickelit said...

No, it wasn't you n.n. I actually don't recall who it was.

john said...

When the kindness is anonymous, the repayment is sevenfold.

My daughter verified that it worked. At least one time.

Jim in St Louis said...

"Guide to Executive Manners" is a terrific book for a young manager. Practical and easy to consult- especially about hierarchies and pecking orders and the value of consideration for subordinates and superiors without being fake or phony. RIP