August 27, 2012

"I mind my own business. And I don’t eat junk food."

In case you're assuming that the secret to longevity is whatever it is that is true of a person who happens to have lived to be very old.

Ever met somebody who minded her own business, didn't eat junk food, and died young?

I followed a link yesterday to some article — I forget where — that said maybe having a lot of orgasms would increase your life span. Knock yourself out. I mean... it also said that being lonely would shorten your life span but having relationships would lengthen it. So get out there and find somebody to love. Preferably not a murderer.

13 comments:

t-man said...

Longevity isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Jay said...

Sounds like Michelle Obama!

*SNICKER*

Anonymous said...

I remember reading somewhere that even if you do everything right - exercise, eat like a hamster, etc - it only increases your life span by an average of a few months. That's why never exercise and eat junk constantly!

purplepenquin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
purplepenquin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
purplepenquin said...

Little Johnny was eating a bag of candy in the park one day, when a man walked over and said "All that candy isn't good for you. It will make you fat, give you acne and cause cavities in your teeth."

Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 102 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandpa eat a lot of candy?"

Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own damn business!"

:)

Chip Ahoy said...

Liar, liar, cake on fire.

ricpic said...

An introvert forced to mind other peoples' business would experience a blood pressure spike that prolonged enough might indeed shorten his life. An extrovert, on the other hand, would be happy as a P in S to mind peoples' business and might very well enjoy a lengthened life as a result.

edutcher said...

The lonely people die young is the biggie.

The others are more individually-specific.

MadisonMan said...

Dad's cousin turns 100 this month. Only 16 more years to go for her!

FleetUSA said...

My 97 y/o dad has never eaten junk food to my knowledge. Enjoys New Orleans spicy cuisine.

ndspinelli said...

It's 90% genes folks.

The Crack Emcee said...

ndspinelli,

It's 90% genes folks.

Shhhh! Like "alternative" medicine practitioners, the anti-"junk food" types think they're making sense.

Say something about "boosting the immune system," or "jeans," and you'll fit right in,...