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disappointing....the snark used to be better than mere melancholic bird-chopping fantasias....
She's obviously never flown commercial, or had a window seat.
"It was a dark and stormy night" ... is still the classic winner.Let alone, didn't Hemingway's style have to be duplicated ...How about: "Tap, tap, tap went the typewriter" ...
Apparently, Nafissatou Diallo's story of her assignation with DSK was submitted after the deadline. It was a clear winner.It was a fine, brave story. Then, a shot rang out.Did Obama submit anything?
Metaphors based on politics are usually pretty bad. This one is pretty bad.
Wouldn't you just love to take a blue pencil to that one line?"As the turbine spun its wheels, the brain got consumed one knotty lobe at a time, like teeth gnawing with chew-chew sounds."
I know a lot of bloggers and blog commentators who could be Cheryl!
So she's against wind farms?
Speaking of UW faculty fiction writers, what ever happened to Kelly Cherry?
MarkO, my dear friend, a chimpanzee could have rutted in the amount of time that's showing up on the key card evidence.The defense will say "the only reason Diallo came back was to see the size of the tip."Well, the medical records show the "tip" and more, was placed in DSK's mouth.The french should be ashamed of themselves to think this is a good way to uncork that bottle! I believe the maid.And, I'd even add that there are too many men fearful of premature ejaculation. So, they pile on the maid for what? BEING THERE?She was there. And, when she spit, this poor woman who cannot read or write ... left DNA evidence ... that those who could read and write, collected.Maybe, we should just teach women how to use their teeth better? I mean, what do you do with a banana?Lock jaw is not a good defense.Heck, she could'a just slid it out ... and then just chewed off his tip. (You didn't know that's how rabbis do it?) Yes. They do! And, then the "moil" spits out the skin. There's not very much bleeding, either.But what I think could have happened, didn't. The maid put misplaced trust in the DA. Who is a democrapic tool. And, in the police. Who get paid when they crap on their paperwork.What can happen ahead?Oh, I expect Oprah will come out of retirement. And, there will be a best seller detailing the story of the frenchman's cock. The same way you know Bill Clinton's doesn't jut straight out! But bends. A curiosity most women haven't seen in life.And, even bent, it can still be schtupped into a hole. Given time this story will SWELL.The DA? He hasn't reached home plate, yet. And, his office is a SNAKE PIT! Once, when the cops had their own snake pit, along came SERPICO. (True story.)
Carol Herman, start with your own work before editing the work of others.
Years ago, some book I read contained this phrase describing a woman's breasts as "alabaster orbs of desire." Bad prose is, indeed, memorable.
That quote is quite simply awful writing. You're all going to Hell, because that quote is quite simply awful writing.
Honk if you like the winner of the Romance category!
For a second, I thought Ann knew something about The Blonde I hadn't been told.
Business was kinda slow at the 'If You Build It' sperm bank.I didn't write that.
What's so awful about "It was a dark and stormy night?"
"wind powered turbine"....because a diesel powered turbine would be totally so not green.
It's still better than I could do. She spelled all the words rite...I think.
It seems to be quite deep as it conjures up the wrenching hypocrisy of supporting wildlife shredding machines to save the planet from the rest of the machines.WV: weedises = Some girls I used to date in college.
What happened to her thoughts on a windless day?That's some postmodern bodice ripping prose right there, man. Made me break wind. No turbines spun. But my drawers fluttered.
""... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!"
DADvocate— "alabaster orbs of desire." Gotta be "Fanny Hill—Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure." A week after I discovered it my older brother whooped me. The pages were all stuck together. And it was a pretty big book. Ahh, the onset of adolescence.
EDH,That's a damned funny scene. I'm gonna miss Leslie.
Gone With The Wind Turbine.A way of life sunk beneath renewable energy and compact flourescent bulbs.That must be a chick flick script.
associate professor of Curriculum and InstructionWhat does an associate professor of curriculum and instruction actually teach?
Surprising that a blast at the eco-fascists would be rewarded. The political winds, they are a'changin.
ricpic, I sense you're putting us on. But in case you're not and in case there is a single person who doesn't know, "It was a dark and stormy night" is not an awful beginning on it's own, but it's not the full sentence.It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Turgid doesn't begin to describe that pitiful attempt at prose. Who reads this crap and finds it interesting in any positive sort of way?
Sorry, I don't think "It was a dark and stormy night..." is really that bad. Yeah, its a run on sentence. But if you were a Victorian - you had time to read - and probably didn't mind the long-winded prose.Case in point, 1863 people thought Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was almost insultingly short for such a solemn occasion. They preferred Everett's more "eloquent" - at least an hour - address.
This is NOT Four Score and Seven Years Ago ...This is "Cheryl's mind turned to chopped liver, so she added schmaltz."
So, Hockey Bum @ 1:05 PM. If I honk to I get a duck?
ripic @ 1:49 PMIt loses value because it leaves out thunder and lightening. Until that first clap of thunder ... dark and stormy just has you snuggling up in your bed. It's without fear-factor.
That quote is quite simply awful writing.Isn't that the point?
And as an example of intentionally awful writing, it's outstanding!
This drivel is a winner? In what contest, methinks?
"This drivel is a winner? In what contest, methinks?"In the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, the object is to write badly.
Apparently that's not as well-known a fact as I'd thought!
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