January 7, 2010

"When you get married, you’ve got to start scheduling it. We schedule it. It’s, like, once a week."

Said David Arquette, who married Courteney Cox. (What does it do to a man when he marries Cox?)

So... scheduling sex: good idea?

61 comments:

Florida said...

"So... scheduling sex: good idea?"

If it's with Courtney Cox?

What, are you delusional???

I'd like every day at 2:00 pm please.

And twice on Sunday.

Henry said...

Yes.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Hell no!

Why take all fun and excitement out of life?

The only concievable (no pun intended) reason to schedule sex is, temporarily, when you have children and need to work around their schedules.

Henry said...

The only concievable (no pun intended) reason to schedule sex is, temporarily, when you have children and need to work around their schedules.

That's 18 years, right there.

Joaquin said...

I always thought Courtney Cox was hot, but this bit about scheduling sex is freakin ODD! Give me a break, schedule sex? And what is this about once a week? I'm thinking that Mr. Arquette isn't doing what I call 'pretty work'

Ann Althouse said...

And if you read the whole article, you'll see that Cox doesn't keep the appointments, which is a whole other dimension of sad.

Florida said...

"... Cox doesn't keep the appointments, which is a whole other dimension of sad."

She's married to David Arquette. Have you seen David Arquette lately?

I wouldn't be in no hurry to make those appointments either.

Memo to Courtney Cox:

Let's schedule some time together and I'll show you where your G-spot is.

Moose said...

Yes please - can I schedule sex with Courtney Cox?

Lem said...

Schedules, extensions, change order, delays..

t-man said...

Scheduled sometimes, yes. Scheduled all the time, no.

If you know that you will definitely be having sex at a certain time, then there is the excitement of anticipation and a prolonged build up. But you need spontenaity as well. It's all a balance.

t-man said...

As for Cox, unless she's gained some weight lately, I'd be scared that her hip bones would cause lacerations. Beautiful face, though.

Florida said...

"The actor also revealed how frustrated he was on New Year's eve as he had to wait for 40 minutes for a romp with Courteney, 45, while she chatted to a friend at home."

This guy takes the cake, I gotta tell you.

He's bitching because he had to wait a few minutes to have sex with Courtney Cox!

He's bitching about it.

These Hollywood dudes just kill me sometimes.

Memo to Courtney Cox:

Some people would gladly wait until you finish your conversation with your friend before ravishing you for hours and hours and hours each day, and twice on Sunday.

Henry said...

That is sad. I was thinking of the schedule as a baseline.

And to be honest, the idea of appointments seems a little excessive. "Sometime tonight" would work better than "11:15 pm".

Scott M said...

No. Not a good idea. The last thing sex needs to be is predictable. I make gentle fun of my wife because Sunday evenings after the kids go to bed seems to be the "time".

With three small kids, it can be tough to be spontaneous, but it IS possible.

The only scheduling of sex should occur when you plan a weekend getaway. It's a given you're going to get a piece of the good cake in that case.

Maguro said...

Tried scheduling it, but all those Outlook meeting reminders got kind of annoying.

Robert G. said...

I tend to schedule sex using my Palm Pilot.

Scott M said...

all those Outlook meeting reminders got kind of annoying

...plus, the inevitable heartache and embarrassment of scheduling it with the wrong distribution list, like, say, your church parish, or your son's little league team.

Pogo said...

Does Arquette have to submit a work order?

Is there documentation to ensure compliance?

Does Courtney get a 15 minute break?

Is the pre-nup more detailed about the schedule, e.g., "Spouse will moan no less than three (3) times per encounter"?

If she calls in sick, is there a sub?

Ron said...

If you get bumped (or not bumped?) for overbooking, do you get more sex later? Or just extra free peanuts?

Matt Brown said...

Wow. Lots of sex talk today. I think we can figure out today's theme.

Matt Brown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hoosier Daddy said...

And if you read the whole article, you'll see that Cox doesn't keep the appointments, which is a whole other dimension of sad.

That's when you bump the next person to the top of the list like my doctor does ;-)

Florida said...

"I think we can figure out today's theme."

I'm betting Meade is going to get some tonight.

Assuming, you know, he's made an appointment.

Florida said...

"I tend to schedule sex using my Palm."

There, I fixed it for you.

Hoosier Daddy said...

I find that sometimes I have to treat Mrs. Hoosier like my old 73 Chevy Nova. Just keep turning the key and pumping the pedal and eventually I'll end up with a nice ride.

Pogo said...

I find it interesting that older men ask for Vi@gra or Ci@lis all the time, but I have never once had a female ask that their spouse get a prescription for it, or even nod in assent when hubby requests it. I have seen a few barely suppressed grimaces.

Not sure if that means anything.

Ron said...

Hoosier Daddy, is your wife 'three on the tree'?

Pogo said...

And older women are not shy about asking for stuff for their elderly hubbies, believe you me, so that ain't it.

Night2night said...

I get cranky if we go too long without "quality time", but, with regards to scheduling, have informed Mrs. N2N any time she's in the mood is fine for me.

Hoosier Daddy said...

Well Ron, back in our 'yout' she was definitely an automatic but as the years and childbearing I think she did get the transmission changed into a stick.

I also think her monthly oil changes are more frequent or that's some kind of excuse for going on extended maintenance rather then for those Sunday morning drives.

Dogwood said...

Hoosier is on a roll today. Well done sir. LOL!

Thought about making a serious comment but don't want to interrupt.

As you were.

Charity said...

If having sex tends to get lost in the shuffle of life, then it should be scheduled. It's important. But if having sex is getting lost in the shuffle of life, at some point you have to stop and ask yourself if something is wrong with this picture.

Ron said...

Hoosier Daddy, in my experience the ball and socket joints tends to go to hell around the time of the monthly oil changes. Frequent lubing is necessary until you can the whole thing up on the hoist for replacement.

Hoosier Daddy said...

Well I've tried that Ron but all she lets me do is look under the hood.

David said...

Very good idea.

Foreplay is anticipation. It's a form of foreplay.

Florida said...

Where the hell is Freeman Hunt today?

Wouldn't mind scheduling some time to hear her thoughts on this matter.

Bada bing!

Opus One Media said...

well then. at least if its scheduled he or she has a chance of being the only one that day or.....

edutcher said...

Ann Althouse said...

And if you read the whole article, you'll see that Cox doesn't keep the appointments, which is a whole other dimension of sad.

She's not a cougar, but she plays one on TV.

Agree with DBQ on spontaneity.

Don't know where Pogo practices, but it may be the reason the man is in the office is that the wife made the appointment.

Pogo said...

" it may be the reason the man is in the office is that the wife made the appointment."

Could be. They are usually in the room together, though. And there is no embarrassment asking about incontinence or gas or lotsa stuff. I just ain't never heard a wife say He won't say anything, but could he get a prescription for Levitr@?

It may not mean anything; just one of the little quirks of existence.

John Stodder said...

Spontaneity is great, but there is something to be said for knowing there will be a beautiful naked woman in your bed/convertible/jacuzzi at the same time each week.

Freeman Hunt said...

Here's how you schedule it:

Step 1: Notice kids are all asleep in another room/not home.
Step 2: Point this out to spouse.
Step 3: Go.

This is your happy marriage PSA for the day.

Leland said...

Maybe Elin was upset when Tiger told her he was booked through Thanksgiving weekend.

David said...

"Step 1: Notice kids are all asleep in another room/not home.
Step 2: Point this out to spouse.
Step 3: Go."


You left out step 4: "Lock or Barricade door."

Which omission leads to step 5: "Mommy, are you ok?"

David said...

I still vote for scheduling.

Anticipation.

Scott M said...

Between a happily-married couple that have been together for a while, there is a middle-point between scheduling and spontaneity.

It usually begins some time in the early afternoon when one of them makes a pass at the other. It could be a tickle, a sex-loaded, but gentle, grapple, or, my favorite, observing that the kids are in the other room, grasping the little missus, and spinning her 180 degrees away from me, giving me aggressive nibbling access to both napes.

After that initial flagrante, a dance of sorts ensues throughout the day that basically has one overriding principle...once the last curtain-climber is tucked in bed...it's on.

This not only builds the incipient anticipation, as David mentions, but also provides a shade of spontaneity, which I believe to be crucial.

Penny said...

Scheduled sex? Hm?

I'd prefer to pencil you in on my dance card. Then we could, you know, see how things go from there.

Penny said...

lol I see Scott likes to dance too!

EDH said...

They say you gotta stay hungry
hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book
I need a love reaction
come on now baby gimme just one look


Maybe they're just...

Dancing in the Dark

I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain't nothing but tired
Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

Message keeps getting clearer
radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
Man I ain't getting nowhere
I'm just living in a dump like this
There's something happening somewhere
baby I just know that there is

You can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

You sit around getting older
there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
come on baby this laugh's on me

Stay on the streets of this town
and they'll be carving you up alright
They say you gotta stay hungry
hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book
I need a love reaction
come on now baby gimme just one look

You can't start a fire sitting round crying over a broken heart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark

MaggotAtBroad&Wall said...

It depends. With a partner it's fine. If you're flying solo, it's usually not necessary.

Chris Hall said...

Wednesday night is Business Time.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Here's how you schedule it:

Step 1: Notice kids are all asleep in another room/not home.
Step 2: Point this out to spouse.
Step 3: Go.


LOL at Freemand and David

This is exactly right. And of course as the kids get older and go to basketball and football games away (out of town). That time slot is now free!!! Knowing the high school sports schedule is very important.

traditionalguy said...

There is nothing wrong with scheduling in the sense of expecting sex a certain day or days unless a needed change happens that day. Then the other days become the surprises like Christmas in July. When at the beach we can act like 20 somethings and we can sleep in the next AM, or do little more than be there.

Palladian said...

If my male companion doesn't show up for our appointment, he doesn't get paid and then I have to call the agency and schedule a new one.

PatCA said...

Did we need to know this, David?

Mr. Forward said...

I'm available Friday at 3 pm. Does that work for you?

The Gold Digger said...

Pogo,

My FIL showed his cialis RX to my husband and bragged about getting it on.

My MIL complained to my SIL about having to do it.

So yeah -- mismatched desires and definitely more than I wanted to know about either of them. (Does nobody have boundaries any more? Do I? At least I am anonymous. Sheesh. Sharing this stuff with your kids. Honestly.)

Pogo said...

Ha! I knew it !

Class factotum said...

PatCA,

I think David must be really, really angry at Courtney to have broadcast this information to the world - at least the part about how she made him wait and how sad that made him. This is not the sort of thing you share with strangers unless you are ticked off. Not a good sign about the state of their marriage.

WV = "likedi," latin for he used to like her but now he doesn't.

BladeDoc said...

I have had urologist colleagues say that they've had patients' (female) spouses call up before the appt. to demand that NO little blue pills be prescribed.

Sounds to me that a prescription for a pill and a "sex therapist" was in order.

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Sharon said...

I so agree with you Ann, a couple needs to keep their marriage a priority with rituals and planned time together as I discuss in my little book: "A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage."
www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com