August 24, 2009

"Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?"

The funniest joke.

78 comments:

Balfegor said...

They must be selling these with their delivery or the buildup, because they're not all that funny standing alone, really.

traditionalguy said...

These jokes require a Britisher's sense of humour that is gently critical of non-conformity in others. There is nothing funny here to rough and tumble Americans.

bearbee said...

I cracked half a smile - one side of my mouth lifted - on 5 and 7.

I find some of the wv interpretations more amusing.

Bissage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rhhardin said...

That's a Demetri Martin joke, genre-wise.

Revenant said...

The chicken and the egg joke is funny. :)

blake said...

See, this is why Chicken Run and Wallace and Grommit didn't do well over here.

British humor. Er, humour.

Salamandyr said...

That would be hilarious if the line was delivered right. On paper...eh.

SteveR said...

Yeah I thought the Chicken and Egg joke was funny as well.

David said...

Hey, some of these are really funny.

Like:

Adam Hills - "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

• 7) Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"

Joan said...

I emailed that title joke to my daughter, she adores hedgehogs and she will totally crack up.

Personally, I love Wallace and Gromit.

Skyler said...

Everyone knows the Fishsticks joke from South Park is funnier.

blake said...

Me, too, Joan.

traditionalguy said...

These jokes are one reason why Princess Diana had to look everywhere but to English men for a little fun in her life. So which came in first, the jokes or the layed eggs?

Deb said...

I loved Wallace and Gromit. I thought the idea of an evil penguin was just hilarious.

Roger J. said...

as a devotee of the "groaner"--the long extended puns that always end badly, these one liners do nothing for me

chuck b. said...

I thought they were funny. I don't think they'd do much for a bunch of House fans.

Joan said...

I don't know how people can denigrate British humor. Have they never read any P.G. Wodehouse?

Paddy O. said...

Joan, I don't think anyone who would denigrate British humor would know what to do with Wodehouse.

Kirby Olson said...

Brilliant joke. I love that kind of joke. Thanks. I liked all these jokes, but didn't get the Madagascar one. What was happening in that one?

William said...

More cheap digs at George Soros' expense.

blake said...

Kirby,

It's a reference to the movie "Madagascar". A kid's movie with no civil war.

Big Mike said...

I agree with Dave Barry -- #5 is the funniest (in fact, it's pretty much the only one that is).

Lem said...

We were so poor growing up everybody wore shorts to school.

Lem said...

We were so poor growing up

A walkman was a luxury... who could afford the shoes?

Lem said...

We were so poor growing up

Hair Vaseline had dual use. It was a VapoRub substitute.

Lem said...

We were so poor growing up

I got a rubber band for my birthday.

Lem said...

We were so poor growing up

The old people didn't even loose their hair.

AST said...

I had to look up "minging" at Urban Dictionary. But "minge" means something different.

I liked 5, 7 and the ones about Michael Jackson and the swine flu hotline.

Lem said...

We were so poor growing up

I did have a head start collecting rocks.

Lem said...

We were so poor growing up

Adam and Eve had it made.

LoafingOaf said...

Yeah, if delivered right, a few of those are kinda funny. A lot better than some of the stupid jokes I find myself saying, like, "How do you get a crackhead out of a tree? Throw some rocks."

I liked the IPhone one best, but I think I've heard a version of it before....

The winner's may just be "ok", but you know you're gonna say it next time hedgehogs come up in conversation, and I bet it gets a smile.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor, before school each day, my mum used to beat us up and take our lunch money.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor, ever time I took my hat off the neighborhood panhandler threw money into it.

Chip Ahoy said...

No seriously, we were so poor my hand-me-down shoes were gloves.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor we used to steal from each other. Once I caught a cold and my older brother took it.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor, when I lost a tooth and put it under my pillow, the tooth fairy left a bill.

Ralph L said...

Anyone know if the Edinburgh Fringe refers to "Beyond the Fringe," or vice versa?

Those are pretty lame jokes for professional comics.

I found myself saying "Cheese, Grommit?" for months afterwards.

Speaking of penguins and Madagascar, the "Penguins of Madagascar" on Nickelodeon is pretty cute for all ages.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor our pickup truck was a wheelbarrow.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor it didn't matter that we couldn't afford coal because we didn't have a stove, and that didn't matter either because we couldn't afford matches.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor the bears used to leave handouts on our porch out of sympathy.

Chip Ahoy said...

I'm serious over here. All our boil-in-a-bag meals were garbage bags!

Lem said...

At least you could use your hand me downs.

We were only allowed to smell "our" crayons.

Chip Ahoy said...

It was pathetic, I tell ya. When the the school told me I had to have a jock strap for gym class I had to wear an old slingshot, and the handle on that thing really hurt!

Chip Ahoy said...

We used to brush our teeth with sand. We all had to share one brush. It was the same brush Pa used to scrub the tires on his jalopy.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor, the homeless shelter told us not to come back until we made ourselves presentable.

Lem said...

We were so poor we were last to get cable.

And then only after we pieced it together from all the neighborhoods leftovers.

Lem said...

We were so poor our cereal was really oatmeal... we were just never told.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor we recycled dirt from the vacuum cleaner bags.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor, when the cop said, "Gimme your name and address," I go, "No way, then I'd have nuth'n."

Lem said...

Dirt? .. We were so poor it would not come and stay with us.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor, we hat to patch our roof with government cheese.

Lem said...

We were so poor we all had to share one pencil... and it could only be sharpened once a day.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor we had to go the Butterfly Pavilion for fun and then Dave and Busters for lunch. Oh wait, I guess that wasn't so bad.

Lem said...

You had it made..

We thought butterfly was fast food.

Lem said...

For the longest time we thought the zoo was a butcher shop for the rich and famous.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor for Christmas we could only exchange insults.

Chip Ahoy said...

If Santa gave us coal we'd consider it a windfall.

Chip Ahoy said...

We had to play Chopsticks with one finger because we couldn't afford the whole piano lesson.

Lem said...

Thanks Chip

We actually used to do this when there was a power outage in DR which was almost every night.

No television we go outside and either make each other laugh or we play a game.

If you have the Google toolbar you can translate the page.

Chip Ahoy said...

We had to take out a loan to check out a book from the public library.

Chip Ahoy said...

We actually invented snowboarding because we couldn't afford wheels for our skateboard. 'Cept we didn't use snow.

madawaskan said...

We were so poor when my friends asked me if I had HBO I was afraid I smelled bad.

Chip Ahoy said...

Our sheets were so threadbare we reused them as window screens.

madawaskan said...

We were so poor snow was what was for d-i-n-n-e-r.

madawaskan said...

Lem-

The crayon joke-pretty damn funny.

Chip Ahoy said...

We was so dadgum poor, our outhouse had to double as a root cellar.

Lem said...

That was the best when we took a joke that someonelse said and put another twist on it.

We could go all night like that.

Lem said...

Ok this is it for me.

When the first Iphone came out my little sister wanted one so my father went and got an AM radio and told her here this is the first Iam phone.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor we had to borrow to pay our respects.

Chip Ahoy said...

For us, a banana split meant divide it out seven ways.

Chip Ahoy said...

We thought the Five and Dime was for rich people.

Chip Ahoy said...

I saved up to by penny nails.

Chip Ahoy said...

We were so poor we imagined Socialist healthcare was actually an improvement. Oh wait, that's actually happening.

Lem said...

Final final.

When the VHS first came out of course we could not afford it.
Our father said 'lets wait till they come out with the DVD'.

But dad, 'that hasn't even been invented yet' we said.

He said.. 'they are working on it'.

So finally the DVD players come out - we havent't seen a movie in about a decade.

'Dad remember you promised' we came pleading..

Dad went to Sears and came back with a VHS.

Kirk Parker said...

Hey, Wodehouse was in no way, shape, or form a standup comedian. Comparing him to these is a complete category error.

And no, I don't find any of them any more than slightly amusing, except perhaps the Madagascar one. But then again, it's British humor, but not even good examples of the genre. E.g. none of them come close to the stick joke:

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.

Revenant said...

I liked all these jokes, but didn't get the Madagascar one. What was happening in that one?

Madagascar is both the name of a war-torn nation and the title of a popular animated children's film.

berlinluise said...

haha...
it´s very funny