Althouse: "If I could turn back time."

May 11, 2009

"If I could turn back time."

"If I could find a way."

21 comments:

blake said...: Too bad about the plastic surgery.; 5/11/09, 3:24 PM
Jason (the commenter) said...: I can't ever remember a time when Cher wasn't somewhere, either singing or acting. She's always been around, and always been producing great stuff.

Amazing!; 5/11/09, 3:27 PM
Trooper York said...: That's not nice blake. I don't think the professor had any work done.

That was just a photo of a reflection in a Grecian Urn.; 5/11/09, 3:28 PM
Palladian said...: It's weird when aging celebrities have to start doing drag impersonations of themselves.; 5/11/09, 3:31 PM
TitusTheCabaret said...: She does look like a draq queen in that picture but I still like her.

The bitch is great in concert too.

I heard Gypsies Tramps and Thieves on the radio yesterday. Her old songs with Sony are great.

Love Dark Lady.; 5/11/09, 3:34 PM
Drew W said...: In an unrelated story, the body of yet another virgin -- completely and inexplicably drained of blood -- was discovered in an exclusive Los Angeles neighborhood that boasts such celebrity residents as pop icon Cher . . .; 5/11/09, 3:40 PM
Methadras said...: That ain't right. Sometimes you just have to know when to say when. How hard up for money do you have to be to do this?; 5/11/09, 3:41 PM
veni vidi vici said...: The title of this post/thread always first calls to mind a particularly pants-pissingly hilarious episode of the "Will & Grace" television series.

That episode and another which featured Kevin Bacon are in themselves sufficient to justify the entire (lengthy) run of that show.; 5/11/09, 4:00 PM
Ernesto Ariel Suárez said...: I think she's a lot of fun, and deserves a lot of credit for being still around, looking good, after all these years.

However, I had a very close encounter with her in 1995 (fresh "off the boat" so to speak) and the experience of seeing her up close is very different from that of watching her on TV or seeing her at a concert. I can only imagine how long it takes her to get that makeup on...; 5/11/09, 4:01 PM
Bissage said...: She looks like she would taste like salty garbage.; 5/11/09, 4:20 PM
TitusTheCabaret said...: She did have a vaginaplasty so her cooch was tight like when she was 12.

Vaginaplastys are all the rage now.

Women, do your coochs no longer grab onto a hog anymore?

There is help in sight.

With a new vagina you can satisfy your man and also use it to pick up your house.; 5/11/09, 4:26 PM
TitusTheCabaret said...: I would like to jump into a vagina like in the movie Talk To Her.; 5/11/09, 4:27 PM
jeff said...: That 4:26 post of Titus was terribly inappropriate and I hope he is ashamed. Also, I would prefer co-workers not know that I let out a snort reading something containing cooch and hogs, and a novel way of cleaning up the house.; 5/11/09, 4:30 PM
Be said...: As startlingly gorgeous (in a conventional Baby Boomer sense) as she in these pictures, part of me wishes that she could be more like Olympia Dukakis in "Moonstruck" in terms of grace.; 5/11/09, 4:51 PM
Jason (the commenter) said...: I would like to jump into a vagina like in the movie Talk To Her.

It's a pleasant image because I know how that ends.; 5/11/09, 4:55 PM
KCFleming said...: Sir, Cher's sutured and synthetic aging is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.; 5/11/09, 5:28 PM
Simon Kenton said...: "Gimme a Cher."

"We ain't got no Cher."

"Whaddya mean, you don't have Cher?"

"We ain't got no Cher."

"Gimme a Streisand."

"One Streisand, you got it."

"Hold the talent."

"One Streisand, hold the talent."

"Now hold the figure."

"One Streisand, hold the talent, hold the figure."

"Now. Hold the adenoids."

"One Streisand, hold the talent, hold the figure, hold the adenoids. Comin' up."; 5/11/09, 6:33 PM
john said...: It's the painting,

In the attic.

Don't go up there.; 5/11/09, 6:38 PM
Sir Archy said...: To Professor Althouse.

Dear Madam,

As the Ghost of a Gentleman, dead these 260 years and more, I should be happy to welcome Mrs. Bono to the Astral Plane upon her Departure from her Earthly Frame, which she seems greatly intent upon preserving from Decay.

That she should make her eventual ghostly Appearance amongst those of us who have kept a Semblance of Human Form (insubstantial & airy as we may be) should not surprise any Person imbu'd with even the smallest Tincture of spiritual Philosophy: For, 'tis commonly assented that Attachment to Earthly Matters, whether Success, Riches, Beauty, or even, Pain, Misery, violent Death, &c., will bind the Spirit ever more firmly to such Scenes of either corporeal Triumph or Misery, so as to detain it from its eventual fateful Journey.

I confess that my own sudden and unexpected Death, amidst a busy & satisfying Life, annoy'd me greatly, and gave me every Cause to wish the Continuance of Life. Thus, I have wander'd amongst the Living these Centuries, seeking to conclude my Business; yet, at the same Time I have warn'd others against those Habits of Attachment that prolong Frustration, and so, in the end, tend to no good.

For all that, I look forward to seeing Mrs. Bono play against Mrs. Cibber (whose Talents match her own), or, even Mr. Garrick, in one of the several ghostly Theatres I frequently attend. I should be happy, indeed, to see her in one of Mrs. Centlivre's charming Farces, which had so entertain'd me in Life, and for which Mrs. Bono's Talents are plainly suited. It may seem odd to wish to see an Actress & Singer from this Age appear with those of my own; but, Madam, one of the few Consolations I and others of my Condition have, is an enlarg'd View, that no longer feels the Need to make nice Distinctions founded upon the narrow Fashions & Tastes of our Day.

Knowing full well that this, your own Theatre of Topicks (as I call it), and its charming impressaria, are neither narrow, nor ghostly, I am,

Madam,

Your humble & obt. Servant,

Sir Archy; 5/12/09, 4:39 AM
Anonymous said...: Utnapishtim told his wife that all men are liars.

Plastic surgery and cosmetics has made it possible that women fit the category all too well, too.

Personally i smear clay and oil on my face and tar under my eye

there is honesty perhaps in the bread of life or maybe in quinoa, teff, spelt, amaranth, etc if you don't trust glutons.; 5/12/09, 6:40 AM
Ken Pidcock said...: I'm no fan of Cher's act, but I admire her for authenticity. She's in a business where people seem compelled to project an image of whom they think they are expected to be, and she seems to know that there's no need for that.; 5/12/09, 10:01 PM