July 28, 2008

Above the Law Idol — and I'll be a judge.



Here's the explanation. And here's a comment I completely predicted when David asked me to be a judge:
Althouse = Paula Abdul.
No contest.
Drunk and batshit crazy.
Here's where you're wrong, oh, predictable "guest" commenter. Paula is on the "American Idol" panel to love and support the kids and cushion them from Simon's meannesss. I will not be performing that function. You need to think a lot harder— and identify yourself with a real name so I can come over there and kick your ass. You took a comment cliché and did nothing even to attempt to make it your own.

And Dahlia Lithwick wants to be the Paula, anyway.

39 comments:

Trooper York said...

Well everyone knows you would be Randy, because you are always taking photos of Dawgs, dawg.

Ron said...

dentify yourself with a real name so I can come over there and kick your ass

Only if there's a vlog...

Suggested new tag: AltHouse of Pain

Trooper York said...

Watch out for the pitch problems. And let them know if you "feel it" allright.

Trooper York said...

I thought we were going cross cultural in Obamas America for Tyler Perry's House of Alt.

Bissage said...

So wait a minute, "Above The Law" has more than twelve commenters?

Weird!

W. C. Mountain said...

and identify yourself with a real name so I can come over there and kick your ass.

Ah! An idle threat if I've ever heard one.

Guess what? When you're flabby, you can't kick anybody else's ass!!

Waxine Meiss said...

All this time spent in the rough, dark, dangerous parts of LA has brought out the thug in Althouse!

Oh dear, now she's threatening physical violence. Not very becoming for a woman of her age. And just think, this was her reaction without the commenter even mentioning Jessica Valenti!

garage mahal said...

ATL appears to be a legal blog, but to curry favor with Ann my advice to applicants as follows:

1. Forget any law related posts regarding the DOJ until we get a new President. B-O-R-I-N-G.

2. Start hitting the National Enquirer hard and subscribe to and start listening to Rush Limbaugh for commentary to riff from. If Limbaugh material is light any right wing opinion will do, including Mickey Kaus.

3. Criticize the Clintons. See #2. Anything goes here. Have fun with it.

4. Most importantly come off as a squishy Democrat, but only criticize Democrats. Again anything goes here. Have fun with it.

Good luck!

perry masonmint said...

identify yourself with a real name so I can come over there and kick your ass

Free advice:

If you're carrying the winebox, Ann, he can probably outrun you.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Oh, you're sooooo Simon Cowell, right down to the fitted black shirt and --*er um ah*-- chest.

Mrs. Delores Battersby said...

Why does Althouse have to hitch her fortunes onto David Lat ?

---Nevermind the Oriental thing.

I just think, if anyone, Althouse needs to be courting Matt Drudge, who could do a lot more for her.

EnigmatiCore said...

I'm the one who's drunk and batshit crazy.

And I put out.

OldGrouchy said...

Wait a minute, where's the barista and who shut down this coffeehouse?

Who left the cellar door open, allowing in all these lawyers?

Jeez!

P. Rich said...

Israeli newspaper Ma'ariv was lambasted for printing the note that Obama placed in the Western Wall, allegedly stolen by a Yeshiva student. "Notes which are placed in the Western Wall are between the person and his Maker; Heaven forbid that one should read them or use them in any way," said the Chief Rabbi of the Western Wall. "This sacrilegious action deserves sharp condemnation and represents a desecration of the holy site."

But according to a statement from Ma'ariv yesterday, the Obama campaign actually leaked the note to reporters before Obama even placed it in the wall. Yediot Aharonot, Israel's most popular daily, apparently also received a copy of the note in advance but decided not to print it.


Wouldn't want you to miss this, Althouse. LA is a long way from Israel, and news sometimes travels slowly when it's about the Obamessiah.

blake said...

OK, I'll be Nebuchadnezzar.

What?

Oh, I'm sorry. That's "graven images".

Simon said...

"And Dahlia Lithwick wants to be the Paula, anyway."

Ah, Dahlia... My purely platonic cross-partisan intellectual crush. :)

Lawgiver said...

Free advice:

If you're carrying the winebox, Ann, he can probably outrun you.


Not a problem, I volunteer as Ann's Wine Box Caddy.

vbspurs said...

Wait, what? The last person on earth Ann can be likened to, even in one of those forced connexions dull-witted people love to make, is Paula Abdul.

Paula is a half-Brazilian, half-Lebanese spazzed out enabler. Ann is a trendy, street-smart legal hustler-blogger with a razor sharp mind.

She's more like Sharon Osbourne.

Cheers,
Victoria

madisonlaw said...

Being a lawyer any comments on Monica Goodling and the report that came out today that said she did illegal shit.

Firing people for being a lesbian. Sounds harsh.

Mortimer Brezny said...

I hope Ann pulls her hair back when she kicks that dude's ass.

Mortimer Brezny said...

Firing people for being a lesbian. Sounds harsh.

Don't fuck with the patriarchy.

rhhardin said...

Never leave a tip. The barista will just use it to buy another nose ring.

Roger J. said...

Anonymnity when commenting pretty much discounts the message. IMO.

knox said...

Criticize the Clintons. See #2. Anything goes here. Have fun with it.

garage, it's time to get over it. Hillary lost, move on.

Simon said...

garage mahal said...
"ATL appears to be a legal blog"

Ha ha ha ha ha. Good one.

Richard said...

Isn't Ann cute when she's totally pissed?

Doyle said...

Forget any law related posts regarding the DOJ until we get a new President. B-O-R-I-N-G.

LOL.

garage mahal said...

Simon said...

Ah, Dahlia... My purely platonic cross-partisan intellectual crush. :)


Know hope Simon.

elk said...

Oh, it's so obvious that our dear Althouse is the Simon. She's understands that her assignment is not to be coddling, but to be critical. To judge.

Also, Tom has to be Randy...did you guys see the iPhone spoof he posted at SCOTUS blog? It's the equivalent of saying "dawg" all the time - while "dawg" builds street cred to the kids, an iPhone with Justices on speed dial builds street cred for lawyers. Geeky lawyers.

Dahlia has to be Paula, although I would encourage her to pull out her claws some more.

nansealinks said...

if you are going to kickass, I would recommend getting in the ocean and doing at least 2K whip kick and some frog kick.

it works more hip muscles and also those kegeling crotch muscles. Keeps your buttocks well rounded because you gotta remember the gluteus minimus and medius not just the maximus.

If you don't use it, you lose it.

Simon said...

Garage - I just think she's a wonderfully vivid writer. She and JCG are really the cream of the SCOTUS press corps; they have very different approaches and are each the best at their way of doing it. But again, it's purely platonic. Can one have a "man crush" on a female?

Axine Eiss said...

It's the Time Zone! The Time Zone !

That's the reason your esteemed Blogstress hasn't updated.

The Time Zone, I tell you!

It's not the ennui; --the sluggish, lethargic-induced stupor; ---the torpor of LA ....that has rendered her usual creativity and originality completely null and void.

It's the Time Zone !

Creativity and originality ?

Chet said...

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-centurycity30-2008jul30,0,6019092.story

Trooper York said...

Thank goodness. I was worried. I mean they were at the beach, and it's Shark week!

garage mahal said...

Just platonic Simon? I sense a crack in the facade. C'mon over Simon - make your arguments with a straight face for a change. Maybe start with Bob Barr and ease your way into it?

Simon said...

Garage, I think I can safely say that no one wants to ease into the crack in Bob Barr's façade.

Simon said...

(And yes, just platonic.)

garage mahal said...

Simon
You wouldn't at least like to take Barr's arguments on the Constitution, lawbreaking, eavesdropping, etc as your own? Part of you doesn't wish conservatives hadn't broke with Bush? He obviously doesn't care about conservatives. In all seriousness, for instance, that FISA bill was atrocious.

Simon said...

Oh, so far as I've seen, Barr demonstrates the constitutional illiteracy we've come to expect from libertarian party nominees. He had a silly op/ed in the WSJ recently that I was too busy to fisk but that was really quite silly.

I don't disagree with him that some of the policy choices the administration has made have been suboptimal, but this silly hyperventilating that, oh, this that and the other is obviously illegal or similar is really quite silly. Serious, respectable Fourth Amendment scholars - Orin Kerr, for example - look at the issue and say that it's complicated, so at very least it's a closer question than partisans like to claim.

Plus, I'm really baffled by where someone who voted for Medicare Part D gets off criticizing McCain on size-of-government issues. Barr's first job should be to repudiate that vote, long before he starts playing critic of the administration's mistakes and excesses.