February 27, 2008

"I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women.".

"For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female."

(Via Andrew Sullivan.)

39 comments:

Middle Class Guy said...

Vincent Gallo's Sperm
$1,000,000.00


That was further down in the ad. So all you ladies out there with a ticking bio-clock...

Palladian said...

You know, you could get a better looking, better hung hustler with a much better body for a hell of a lot less than 50,000 dollars. And with none of that "Ladies Only" nonsense. I mean, if you're going to be a hipster douchebag whore, what's with the priggish restriction? C'mon, Vinnie, let yourself get fucked if that's what the client wants. But for their sake, please shower first.

madawaskan said...

Ghee I had a dream that he stuck his dick in a "live" light socket.

Too bad he's too damn expensive

Christopher Althouse Cohen said...

Seems like you could save money on his sperm by going for the $50,000 offer and investing in a defective condom.

ricpic said...

One greasy wop for sale.

Not you, Trooper! Not you!

musher3 said...

Vincent Gallo's Sperm
$1,000,000.00


And the nuttiest part...:

Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.

Smilin' Jack said...

Eeeuwww....can't this mutt be put in jail for soliciting prostitution? And if something happened to him there so that he was never seen or heard from again, wouldn't that be a shame?

MadisonMan said...

And people say romance and chivalry are dead!

Meade said...

Labels: comedy, commerce, movies, prostitution, sex,

genitalia, body fluids, racism...

Methadras said...

Man, I miss the days of what really good pot and muscal can do to you.

madawaskan said...

musher3-

I thought you made that part up...

Trooper York has that effect on comments.

And to think I was feeling bad about wanting to "conduct" a current of negative reinforcement on him.

peter hoh said...

I wonder if he faces competition from illegal aliens.

Simon said...

"I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female" (emphasis added).

He has a high opinion of himself, doesn't he? How long before the first fraudulent advertising suit?

titussss said...

Palladian maybe he is requesting females only because before he was an "actor" he was a male prostitute in NYC doing men.

Who would do him god only knows.

He is disgusting.

Sullivan had posted this earlier today. Althouse seems to be sneaking over there often.

titussss said...

By the way I watched the women in AI and I thought they all sucked.

titussss said...

I do know Althouse gave sully credit but me thinky she has a little crush on Andrew.

Blake said...

"I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women.".
"For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female."


Oh. Uh. Me, too.*




*Warranty void in any state resembling sanity.

Chip Ahoy said...

Allium sativum.

*sprays air*

Trooper York said...

ricpic said.....
One greasy wop for sale.
Not you, Trooper! Not you

Damn right I'm not for sale!

I can be rented though for a very reasonable price. Batteries not included.

Trooper York said...

Last year I was on a flight to Vegas and Chloƫ Sevigny was on the plane. My wife never recognizes anyone, but she knew her from Big Love. But I remembered her from her famous scene in Brown Bunny. So I bribed this kid a couple of seats down to keep yelling Brown Bunny out at odd times during the flight. She would start at the sound and look around, but she never really knew. It was pretty funny.

Trooper York said...

On a related note, did you know that Barack Obama calls his penis the brown bunny?

titussss said...

I do love Chloe though-she is fierce.

Now Project Runway is on.

Make it Work.

Trooper York said...

She was pretty cool and laid back. The funniest encounter I ever had on a plane was when I saw Ernest Borgnine sitting two rows in front of me. So I went up to him to say hello, and said "Gee Ernie, I just really glad we ain't taking a boat." He had no idea what I was talking about.

titussss said...

Vincent Gallo makes me not horny.

titussss said...

Your a starfucker Trooper.

titussss said...

Lastly, I forgot to mention Vincent Gallo is a republican.

Jake said...

Brown Bunny... what a dog of a movie. No wonder he's selling his ass now.

Revenant said...

Were I a woman, I would pay Vincent Gallo $50,000 to never even consider having sex with me ever again.

Middle Class Guy said...

Catch the cute little sailor suit? Another little boy who never grew up. Can you say a straight Michael Jackson?

JBC said...

Uh...for the sake of most of the commenters here, it's too bad he wasn't offering free clues. It's comedy, Einsteins.

Middle Class Guy said...

Trooper York said...
On a related note, did you know that Barack Obama calls his penis the brown bunny?

I thought he called it the brown bomber.

john said...

JBC -

Ah... no, when Bill Murray does it, it's comedy. Here its more like when a rather creepy person comes up and does something ....really creepy.

titussss said...

How much to we have to pay to see your tits?

I am fairly wealthy so give us a number.

I want to see your tits.

dynodude9181 said...

Oh come on. This is old news. Like really, really, old news.

At first I thought I was visitng a cached version of Althouse.

This was posted years, literally YEARS, ago on all the gossip blogs and tabloids...come on Ann, keep up.

titussss said...

I want tits!!!!

titussss said...

Two big globes behind my head for a pillow-yum.

Cedarford said...

Middle Class Guy said...
Trooper York said...
On a related note, did you know that Barack Obama calls his penis the brown bunny?

I thought he called it the brown bomber.


As he is biracial, I thought he called it his "chocolate-vanilla swirl stick".

******************
I'll have to talk to the wife about pimping me out to models and such. Over 6 feet tall, two masters degrees, a listener with stamina.
No 50,000 fee. Just Dinner. Or, fill my old pick-up up with gas, or my Lex with Mobile-1. A real cheap lay..

dbp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dbp said...

Gallery of the Absurd did a great take on this some time ago...

http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com/14/2005/11/vincent_gallos_.html