December 20, 2007

"What breaks my heart are the really useful things that are now everywhere. A suzani can totally rock a bedroom..."

"... but if someone saw it on the edge of your bed they’re not going to gasp and say, ‘Where’d you get that?’ Which they would have last year."

From a NYT article that doesn't define "suzani". And I realize I don't care what a suzani is, only what amusing definitions for "suzani" you can make up. Remember a suzani can totally rock a bedroom. And last year if saw one on the edge of your bed last year they'd have gasped and been all "Where’d you get that?" But this year, no one cares, and the fact that no one cares is breaking someone's heart.

ADDED: Actually, the article defines "suzani." I just didn't care enough to read the next sentence. That was unfair to the NYT, and I apologize.

33 comments:

bill said...

Anatomically correct sousaphone?

DBrooks17 said...

It's one of those new life-like Japanese robots. Only this one is built with a particular "purpose" in mind. Oh, Suzani, indeed.

AllenS said...

A suzani is the plural of the girls name, Suzan. Therefore "totally rock a bedroom" means two girls named Suzan in my bed. How cool would that be?

Richard Fagin said...

Bamboo sheets. We really are living the fairy tale, "The Emperor's New Clothes."

I'm beginning to agree with Hermann Goering's comment about culture.

Pogo said...

O Suzani, oh don't you cry for me.
I've come from Alabami with a rubber bandjo on my kni.

Fran said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Legal Scholarship said...

Of course it is defined in the article.

But Fran, don't you realize that Ann does not actually read things in full. She skims. So she missing things like that.

Ah, the banality of Althouse.

Roger said...

I will have to consult with Titus to see if Suzanis are indeed fabulous--and would be concerned lest they end up chew toys for the rare clumbers.

Pastor_Jeff said...

The article is from 1992 and "Suzani" is a slang term for a Thighmaster.

Ann Althouse said...

Thanks, Fran. I corrected it. You're right. It's defined in the article. I only deleted your comment so the actual definition won't influence the fake-intions I seek.

Palladian said...

People that use the word "rock" in that way should be executed.

rhhardin said...

It's a feng shui birth control thing.

Henry said...

It's a batman suit.

TMink said...

A suzani is a petulant Japanese sex robot. It is great for boffing, but good for nothing else.

It will be marketed here in America as the "Lazy Suzani."

Trey

Ann Althouse said...

"People that use the word "rock" in that way should be executed."

If this suzani's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

They should use it that way.

Tim said...

"...you’ll find in the bedrooms of the high-end bohemians featured in both her magazine and Elle Decor."

'effin-A - the New York Times discloses its few remaining subscribers: "high-end bohemians."

No shock here.

"Actually, the article defines "suzani." I just didn't care enough to read the next sentence. That was unfair to the NYT, and I apologize.",

No one should ever have to apologize for not caring enough to read the next sentence of a New York Times article. Ever.

Paul Zrimsek said...

A suzani is some sort of ethnic decor thingy often found in the bedrooms of blogress suzerains like Ann Althouse. (Why would you want to be a diva when you can be a suzerain?)

ricpic said...

When Titus was in Egypt land, let my clinkers go,
Oppressed so hard he could not stand, dingleberries go,
Go down, Titus, way down in Egypt land,
Tell ol' Pharoah, to let suzani go.

Pastor_Jeff said...

The title quote just jumped out at me:

"What breaks my heart are the really useful things that are now everywhere"

What a fascinating insight into a certain mindset: It's a tragedy that useful, attractive things are available to the masses!

"Design Within Reach — damn them!"

“This is the downside of the democratization of design”


Classic!

Wurly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meade said...

"That was unfair to the NYT, and I apologize."

"...and it was my own fault - it was the wrong moment to do it and it was insulting... I meant no disrespect at all."

MadisonMan said...

Never apologize (Divas don't apologize, for one thing) for not reading a boring article.

Beldar said...

The New York Times is indifferent.

To its own mistakes and bias. To your or my critiques. To anyone's apologies, requisite or not.

Individual reporters or editors may (on occasion) still sometimes display signs of sentience. The institution, however, is a dinosaur who's finally altogether misplaced its once magnificent, more lately walnut-sized brain.

Chip Ahoy said...

It's a scarf made from the fibers from the underbelly of a threatened exotic Tibetan mountain goat. They're long luxurious and can be worn many ways, even to dress a bed. They're frightfully expensive and every time one's knitted up a baby Tibetan goat dies. That's why someone's heart is breaking. Plus, they totally rock.

*bang*

Palladian said...

"If this suzani's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

They should use it that way."

I heartily approve!

I don't know what a suzani is, but I'm told that there is one somewhere in this picture.

Pogo said...

Angelo Suzani, a long-forgotten 19th century novelist, whose libretto for the opera Four Nuns in Three Acts shocked the art world with its portrayal of the Pope as dictator of North Korea in the year 2010.

His career never recovered, and he was found wandering the streets of London some years later, toothless and homeless, muttering about Christmas trees in Paradise, California.

ricpic said...

It's true. A tsunami can rock a bedroom.

Pogo said...

Suzani
(noun)
1. related to tsunami; a wave no more than 2 feet in height
2. a vehicle running on recycled plastic shopping bags, also called a Goremobile.
3. the soft part of an undercooked loaf of bread
4. British Dialect. A high end bohemian.
5. Literary. An erroneously numbered footnote.
6. Archaic. Fart; liquid stool.

PatCA said...

Oh, Pogo, LOL!

I think they are of the same genus as these guys.

Blake said...

19th Century Painter?

Chinese military genius?

Eastern European automobile?

Granted, none of these things normally go in a bedroom, but you'd have to admit they'd be real conversation started if they did.

Caroline said...


“Have you ever slept on bamboo sheets?” she asked plaintively. “They’re itchy and sticky, and the top sheet wraps you up like a mummy.”


LOL! Talk about suffering for vanity...

chuckR said...

That article was hilarious, unintentionally I'm sure. A suzani is a freakin' psychedelic doily. The name comes from a urgo-archaic-farcical root word for needlepoint.
I hope all the trendistas get gouged big time buying fake antique ones - oh, yeah, if its not antique, its nowhere...

Hey said...

Their hate for the flat screens over fireplaces was insanely stupid and loathsome. The 2 focus room has been the bane of designers, clients, and political theorists for decades. Much gnashing of teeth ensued over people focusing on the TV rather than the actual hearth - but you do kind of have to arrange the furniture so that you can watch TV.

With a flat screen, you can have a roll down piece of art to hide the TV and then have only one focal point in the room. There's then less of an impetus to have the TV on (no looming blank screen), there's room for more people in the same space, and less room is taken up by ugly electronics (I'm a computer engineer and love all things tech, but the stuff is ugly and space hogging).