April 13, 2006
Extreme shoes.
There's nowhere to go but down once they've reached this point, but go ahead and shell out $800 now. You won't wear them that much, but you could display them later on special little shelves, like the ones Eric Stoltz had in his wreck of a house in "Pulp Fiction." Redo the styles of the 70s now, and you can redo the ironic nostalgia later.
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When I was in 7th grade, I wheedled my mother long enough to get platform shoes -- to go along with my cuffed bellbottoms! This happened before school started, so it was part of back-to-school shopping. Imagine my chagrin when I get to school and the only other person wearing platform shoes was the dorky son of the Strings instructor. (I'm sure he was alarmed that there was only one other dork wearing platform shoes too!) I was so glad to outgrow those shoes -- they looked absolutely ridiculous on me. Partly because I'm tall, I guess, partly because they were a ridiculous concept. What was my mother doing listening to me!
Anyway, that's the first and last time I purchased (cough)fashionable shoes. This is the beauty of being male. I have a pair of sneakers, a pair of hard shoes, a pair of loafers (well, Lands End All-Weather mocs), a pair of flip-flops, a pair of sandals and a pair of boots. And that's it.
Ann, what's become of the long-lost pair of magenta sandals?
Guys have their own ways of being stupid, but this is one of women's. It is how the fashion industry gets them to wear the most outrageous stuff. It is almost as if they all get stoned together, and make bets on which designer can get women to do the most outrageous stuff.
I do remember one girl, younger sister of a fraternity brother, who bought a pair of those high platform shoes of the early 1970s. She teetered around campus for awhile proudly wearing them. Then one day, she teetered too much, and ended up with a broken leg. That was, thankfully, it for her and her friends.
Mary,
Being a guy, this sort of fashion suicide has never made sense to me. Of course, that is probably why women intrigue me, and presumably always will.
In any case, I know that there are sensible shoes out there, and even some that look quite nice. I applaud the women who chose to wear them, over wearing the type of shoes that fashion designers dictate.
I also don't mind if a woman wears somewhat "stupid" shoes when we dress up and go out (but I throw more than an inch of heel into the more than "somewhat stupid" category). It is the everyday wear that I find ridiculous.
Heels are ubiquitous now. They're even making pants--including blue jeans!--longer to accomodate them.
I love heels for dressy occasions. They really make you feel different, certainly sexier and more polished. I always avoided them for everyday wear, but I finally surrendered and bought a pair of wedges last weekend.
Being an unreconstructed Puritan, it warms my dark heart to see vanity and folly extended to such literal and figurative heights of absurdity that it actually causes the humiliation and injury of the victim. Ahh!
And I believe that I've linked to this before, but behold: Chopines!
Ugh! Those Balenciaga gladiator things were written up in Vogue like they were works of art. I think they're all ugly!
Knoxgirl: you're right - I don't think any of my jeans can be worn without heels.
I have a serious shoe thing (bordering on an obsession) and I usually wear heels. But shoes should be feminine and flattering - and they shouldn't look like something worn in the Thunderdome!
These shoes are just one of the many deceptions women practice to ensnare unsuspecting men. Women know that men prefer women with longer legs, and also that most men never look below the knee. So they wear heels and platforms to make their legs appear longer than they really are.
Remember, men: When you see a woman who looks hot this spring, check out her shoes and recalibrate appropriately.
IIRC the idea behind high heels isn't to add height, it's all about the foot being arched in a display that's supposed to mimic sexual arousal (thank you anthropology and human ethology).
That was probably the appeal of Chinese foot binding as well, the front of the foot created an illusion very similar to that of high heels (just ignore the back).
It is the everyday wear that I find ridiculous.
Bruce: I totally missed your comment before and feel the need to defend my heel habit.
*Pardon me while I channel the Manolo* A well made shoe should never be uncomfortable. There really isn't any reason at all why wearing anything higher than a kitten heel should be considered "somewhat stupid".
In fact, my hula teacher used to make us wear 3" heels when we danced in 'auana (modern) hula competitions. Check out this . Not my halau, and much chunkier heels than my kumu would've picked. But, there you go!
Truth be told, as I clock in at almost a foot shorter than my husband, I feel somewhat stupid hovering about his chest in flats.
A kindred spirit! A girl has got to have her shoes. :)
My daughter at 6 months old has more pairs of shoes than my husband - if you exclude the combat boots.
My son had no shoes whatsoever until he learned to walk.
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