December 7, 2005

Madonna on Letterman.

Did you watch Madonna on Letterman last night -- complete with horseys? She was her usual stilted talk-show-self, and she looked weirdly shriveled inside a goofily high-collared purple sweater coat. I liked when she said "Is my necklace on straight?" as a way to get everyone to look at her breasts -- the necklace had a long dangling strand that could line up in her cleavage. And I liked when she tried to instruct Dave on how to toilet train his toddler and to shame him about letting the kid pass the two year mark without learning the highly prized skill. The Madonna technique: deprive the wayward lad of diapers and let him get disgusted with himself. Chances Dave will try that method? O.

12 comments:

jeff said...

Chance that I would let Madonna have anything at all to do with the raising of my child... 0.

LetMeSpellItOutForYou said...

Two years seems awfully early, plus boys learn much later than girls on average. Regardless, I think it's a really bad idea to try to shame the kid, since you're just establishing it as an issue that gets him attention. Better to invite a precocious friend over to "demonstrate"; get used to the fact they learn more from peers than from you. I sure didn't have reason to believe Madonna was an ignoramus up until now, but this does it!

Harkonnendog said...

Anybody else notice Madonna looks more like a tranvestite Madonna look-alike than Madonna? I wonder if she's taking steroids or Human Growth Hormone or something.

the pooka said...

Um...

I like Madonna.

(I suppose that won't make me very popular around here).

tiggeril said...

I like Madonna's music, but I have a feeling I'd end up brawling with her if we were ever to meet.

reader_iam said...

You know, I let someone talk me into taking that approach with my son.

That ended the day I walked into our sunroom (which thank all the angels is tiled, not carpeted) and found him trying to "vacuum" up his mess with the toy vacuum (It makes real sounds! It has real brushes! It even lights up!) he'd just gotten for Christmas.

I'll spare you details.

But that ended that!

(Whatever works for Madonna, though, or anyone is else, is cool by me.)

Soo said...

Is she still speaking in a British accent?

LetMeSpellItOutForYou said...

reader_iam says: Whatever works for Madonna, though... As if Madonna is going to be down on her knees scrubbing the excrement off the floor!

Joan said...

Well, I've successfully guided my three through toilet learning, and 2 out of the 3 preferred the "run around naked while we figure this process out" route. The third wouldn't be caught dead naked, though, and so he went right from diapers to underwear.

We had about the same number of accidents with each. When they're ready, the transition takes only a few days. If you push it too early, you end up having to deal with a lot more messes, and a much more stressed child.

I've never had a high opinion of Madonna as a person, although I do enjoy her music and loved Desperately Seeking Susan, back in the day. But her children's books are dry and preachy, and her attachment to the Kabbala is kinda weird, and now she's giving really horrible parenting advice on top of everything else.

I recently saw a terrific photo essay charting Madonna's transformation into a b-list actress I can't remember -- oh, how I wish I could remember who it was, and find the link. It was brilliant.

chuck b. said...

My TiVo knows to record Will & Grace, Gilmore Girls, Queer as Folk, Buffy and Arrested Development and yet it missed Madonna on Letterman. What's wrong with this picture?

Joan said...

I finally tracked it down. Katiedid at SeldomNiceNowadays asks Madonna, Please stop pretending to be Marilu Henner.

Apologies to Henner who is not really B-List, is she? At any rate, I found this photo essay simultaneously effective and disturbing.

brylin said...

Read the Absurd Turnip review of Confessions on a Dance Floor for a perspective from the 20-something generation:

"Another determining factor for me listening to it was seeing Madonnas butt on TV. Wow, that is a butt. That is the kind of butt that immediately makes you hungry for a Wendys Triple Cheeseburger."