Why not begin with the national anthem? It is American Idol. And it's at least as momentous as a baseball game. Is this the beginning? Aren't we at least a quarter of the way through? Well, that first quarter was the red carpet pre-show, so that wasn't the show, per se.
"The Impossible Dream"--ah, now the cheese-fest kicks into gear as Diana and Fantasia are joined by Kelly and Ruben. Good lord! Ruben's gained another hundred pounds. We know what his "unreachable goal" is. Words said in my TV room: "I think Kelly's the best." "She's the one I feel the most love for. That's when the show was innocent."
We use TiVo to get through the two hour ordeal and watch an old episode of Will and Grace (a show I've never seen before) to pass the time. It's the episode with Madonna, and I enjoy Madonna's comic performance. Someone needs to get through to her that comedy is her acting place.
Oh, but back to American Idol. We're just whiling away the minutes trying to get to the one second of info that the show tonight exists to reveal ... What are we seeing here? ... I've lost track. A little Kimberly Caldwell.... Some not-quite-so-great Kelly ... Here's Ruben.... Drag out Diana and Fantasia again to wail through crap about dreams and believing. Oh, the horror of it all... no, not horror, just dead-end, relentless cheesiness. Oh, just tell me already! One of these two kids won. Just say it! ... Oh, okay, finally, it's Fantasia. So all's right in the world. Now, go ahead, get the hell out of here, leave me alone for another year. But, then, when you're ready to come back, I'll be right here, your big sucker, ready to go through the whole damn thing again.