From "Do You Have a Case of the ‘September Scaries’? Late August can be a time of sleepy summer pleasures — and pit-in-the-stomach dread for what’s coming after Labor Day. Here’s how to manage all the feelings" (NYT).
"Scaries" is one of those babyish words I'm surprised to hear adults using, like "hurty." We were talking about the phrase "hurty words" yesterday. And now it's "September Scaries." But I've already blogged about "scaries" — back in June 2023, "New term learned: "Sunday scaries." It was an answer in a crossword to the clue "Feeling of dread heading into a workweek."
Why are there high expectations for summer when all you're looking for is relaxation? If you just wanted to lounge and booze, how can you feel you've "squandered" anything if it turns out you didn't? If you wasted the summer, isn't that what you wanted? You just wanted it more prettily situated, on pebbles. In Italy.
Here I am, on pebbles, undrunk, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, 2 years ago:
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80 comments:
"August can be really challenging, said Amelia Aldao, a New York City psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy."
I thought it was "The Holidays" that were challenging. It's almost like the whole year is challenging!
I'm sure it's nothing a high-priced cognitive behavioral therapist can't fix.
Are there any adults at the NYT who live in the real world? For most Americans, work is a year-round endeavor. We don't get to spend our summers navel gazing.
I prefer to take my vacation (really just live somewhere else for a month or two) in November/December when very few tourists are around in chilly wet Ireland.
Pebbles and Bam-Bam were cis-gendered stereotypes.
Are "scaries" like a "case of the Mondays?"
https://youtu.be/A4B0pLDqYqI?si=Db12nTtBBmHU0eBv
Yes, AA's comments are all true, but.... the days are getting shorter. The temperatures are usually dropping -- especially this year -- and the feeling of change is very strong as August closes out. Changing to darker pm's, chilliness, dying flowers, but still plenty of weeds. October can be golden but we Know What's Coming!
“September scaries?” The NYT, for neurotics as well as leftards and terrorists.
Pebbles? You can get beach glass in certain places along Lake Erie.
"hurty words" = mocking the Soviet left.
"The scaries" = Lame Leftist NYT writers.
I suspect a high correlation between people who have anxiety over a "squandered" summer and those spending too much time on social media looking at staged negroni-on-a-beach photos.
While down Memory Lane why don't you take another look at the pit-in-the-stomach. (if you want)
The true source of "hurty words".
Therapy culture has run its course. The NYT is an infomercial for the high-end travel industry.
"Yes, AA's comments are all true, but.... the days are getting shorter. The temperatures are usually dropping -- especially this year -- and the feeling of change is very strong as August closes out. Changing to darker pm's, chilliness, dying flowers, but still plenty of weeds. October can be golden but we Know What's Coming!"
Just last night, noticing the early darkness, I exclaimed with approval. I like evening to arrive early enough to provide a pleasant buffer between day and bedtime.
September through October is the nicest time of year where we are. I love being free of the worry of ever feeling too hot. Yes, it will get cold and our strength will be tested. But we've passed the test so many times by now that we feel confident. How many days of the year are actually too cold to allow us to go out twice a day in our normal way? Maybe 10 or 20, and they're not all in a row.
An answer is "the need to be bored".
YouTube :
You Need to Be Bored. Here's Why.
The nights are getting long enough to make setting up at a dark site worth the effort.
Oy gevalt..... so you like this change and therefore those who don't are scaredy-cat libbywibby dopo's from Manhattan!
But some love the sheer expanse of a summer day. The freedom, the plenitude, the relaxation AND the possibilities.... maybe I am a summertime Norwegian from another life. And a wintertime Oaxacan.
Maybe it's a moment ripe for this beautiful summer-day movie, one of the most beautiful I know:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052942/
No mere concert movie.
I love that m--dash hack.
Well it's September and I ain't skeered at all, nor am I anxious. What the hell is wrong with New Yorkers, anyway? Anyway - I'm am in southern Italy, perched on a cliff instead of a pebbly beach, and the food and company are glorious, the crowds not so bad.
Reminds me of Paris Syndrome.
I'm not sure you need a psychologist to get through the disappointment of summer, but it seems we need psychologists for everything these days. I say 'we' really meaning 'you'. And I say 'you' really meaning those who believe the kind of tripe that psychologists push.
---- The nights are getting long enough to make setting up at a dark site worth the effort.
And you'd better start the dinner fire at the campsite by 4:30 or so!
A trigger for anxiety? Why? I can see disappointment, but why anxiety?
I was fortunate to admire some very fulsome hydrangeas at an absolutely beautiful wedding early this August, so I have escaped not only the anxiety that I don't understand but also the disappointment that I can understand (but about which I would encourage reframing and other CBT techniques).
Haven't had a fire all summer; fires and warm weather don't go together (IMO). But, it's getting to be fire season!
"undrunk" in the UP? Whatever happened to when in Rome?
"Oy gevalt..... so you like this change and therefore those who don't are scaredy-cat libbywibby dopo's from Manhattan!"
I think it's good to love the whole cycle, to appreciate what is when it is. It's especially bad to feel bad even in the portion of the year you think you like because you're already pre-disliking what is in the future.
I feel the same about aging. You are where you are on the timeline, and you will do better to value that as good, not use it as a place to contemplate the lost past or the feared future. Live in the present and see the good in it.
This endless struggle against reality — a foolish way to live.
Now that I'm older and I look back, I'm glad that when I was younger and I was having fun, like only the young can, I had enough sense to recognize that it might not get any better than that. The fact that I grew up w/o a handheld device probably helped.
Almost always, my greatest delight is in the quiet quotidian, and it is phenomenally freeing not to heap a bunch of expectations onto some trip or special event. The "buzz" of "something special" can become hollow in a hurry.
There are, if anything, too many fulsom hydrangeas around here.
I remember reading this phrase in a fashion magazine long ago: "bosomy hydrangeas."
---- This endless struggle against reality — a foolish way to live.
I will rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And so forth.... ; )
People who oppose fulsome hydrangeas are foolish.
I agree. September and October are my favorite months of the year here in east central Iowa. No more hot, humid, sticky, buggy days. Still usually warm in the afternoons, often T-shirt weather, and cooler in the evenings with sweatshirt weather. You can exercise and work outside, and actually enjoy it. Plus the colors are gradually changing from solid green to a burst of yellow, orange, red, and brown. This is my happy time of the year.
Here is Georgia school is in it’s 4th week and high school football is entering it’s 3rd week.
Except for the weather it has been fall for almost a month.
As for me - I can’t wait for the weather to break. I have grown to hate summer - except for baseball.
"Hurty" came across as snarky to me. "Scaries" feels like an attempt to be cutesy.
If you are regretting the end of Summer, come live in the South. We look forward to Fall and some relief from the heat and (especially) the humidity.
Are the scaries hurtys-adjacent?
This part of the summer in New England is absolutely glorious. The ponds are now on the low 70s which make sure you must swim hard to stay warm. The sky is a brilliant blue dotted by puffy clouds moving quickly across the sky.
Scaries, dopeys, sleepies, etc. The Seven Diagnoses are a reimagined production of restless dwarfs.
I love September. Get a little cranky if it stays hot.
You are where you are on the timeline, and you will do better to value that as good, not use it as a place to contemplate the lost past or the feared future. Live in the present and see the good in it.
Excellent advice. Words to live by.
I missed summer and spring this year. Fell and broke my femur in early May and so, my outdoor and walking activities were curtailed (actually impossible). Summer was hot as Hell anyway (as usual)....over 100 almost every day. No walking, gardening or going anywhere without someone taking me. I can finally walk without aid, and can drive my car. Free at last.
Now the weather is changing to a pleasant Fall and I can finally sit outside and enjoy watching, birds fighting over the feeders and the clouds from our deck. Winter is coming and it will be COLD and usually snowbound .
Spring and Fall are the best times of the year and remind us that life is an endless cycle of change.
"the scaries" sounds like more "everyone stay in a state of fear - because Trump is going to handmaid tale you"
Ouch, DBQ.
Glad you're on the mend.
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“on pebbles, undrunk”
You didn’t drink the pebbles?
We need a photo of Althouse holding a kitchen knife and a hatchet.
I'll join in the admiration for the coming of September. Maybe it's my north central Midwestern heritage but I always get a burst of energy at this time of year, especially as the oppressive heat and humidity of summer in Kentucky has (usually) passed and working on projects outside is comfortable again. The long-ingrained anticipation of harvest and preparation for the coming winter adds to the urgency even if it's not strictly necessary any more.
“Are the scaries hurtys-adjacent?”
Yes! The scaries hurtys bosomys hydrangeas.
@DBQ. did you tell us about your leg? I must have missed it. Anyway, glad you've recovered and wish you all the best.
DBQ - Sorry to hear about your leg.
Way to hang DBQ!
Thanks guys...I'm much better now and more aware of how one second of inattention can affect things. I only spoke about it because the topic of "missing out on summer" came up.
As Althouse said we are where we are on our timeline and we should value and enjoy what we have even if it wasn't perfect. Hopefully many more summers to treasure and not dwell on the 'summer that got away'.
My only expectation of Summer is that the days will be warmer and the amount of daylight is longer. I go camping up north next to a lake and hope to have a memorable, fun time, but don't expect it. Because I'm an adult with lived experiences about expectations.
My only summer regrets: I failed to thin and stake my raspberries earlier in the year and had to live with the results; I clearly wasted space on too many eggplants; had to throw away many tomatoes due to end blossom rot. Significant gardening sets the summer/fall tone.
After posting, I realized that I do have "January Dread". That's the month I have to prune back many, many plants, and the weather is so damn gray and the days so short I dread it.
Summer is nice. Fall is better. I'm looking forward to the temperature drop and the changing leaves.
Regrets. I retired and had all sorts of time to work on my golf game. Big expectations. Alas, the handicap went up, not down.
A similar thing happened during covid. I should probably reconcile myself to the fact that I'm just not very good, but if I wasn't delusional I would have quit the game a long time ago (Me and about 99.5 percent of the golfers out there). Also I generally make at least one birdie per round, and a few weeks ago I just missed an eagle on a par 5, hitting the pin with a chip from just off the green. This means that I can do it; I just lack focus or something. Next time I'll get it right. Generally I start figuring things out in October, just in time for ski season.
This year I blame the new grandson, who is a major distraction. Infinitely worth it.
AA: Was that picture taken near Grand Marais? I remember beaches like that when I was a kid. Lot's of bluish stones.
If you can’t or don’t want to get out of the Midwest for your summer vacation, and feel the need to upgrade your experience, just tell people you vacationed in New France.
I know that place. I camped on the beach there.
Good to hear DBQ. Give em hell.
I'm about 100 miles south of Madison. We haven't been getting any color changes here, but the squirrels have started cutting the branches with the acorns and letting them fall to the ground. Next week will be in the 60s all week.
I'm thrown by that first sentence: "If January is the Monday of the calendar year, then summer is clearly its weekend."
But but but if summer is the weekend, then is September Monday? and what do you do when it's January. Is it Wednesday?
I keep trying, but stop at "Those familiar with the concept of the Sunday Scaries ..." and I don't know what she means. I mean, Monday's when you're supposed to go back to work, but there's nothing scary about that, is it?
"Regardless of whether you are still bound to a school schedule, the months when school is out are inexorably associated with pleasure, freedom and spontaneity. "
No, at least not since I graduated from college. Many of us can only spend a week or two off during the summer. And spontaneity? I am married and was raising a family. I didn't have time for doing something spontaneous, let alone freedom.
Unless ... unless ... oh I get it. These are for DINKs who have nothing more to live for. No wonder they're anxious,
"AA: Was that picture taken near Grand Marais?"
I'm guessing the Keweenaw.
Negronis are awful. Italy is cool, and amusing.
"I'm not drunk. I just need these two sticks in case a rat jumps on my foot."
"Um, okay, Mom. Just watch your step. And remember what happened to Rameau. Or was it Lully?"
I keep hearing about the growing mental health crisis. The people I hear it from are generally the same people that react to "hurty words" or now "scaries". I'm not denying they have a mental health crisis, but I suspect their sense it is growing is also due their mental health being poor.
Wife and I made a snap decision to go on a cruise last month. We kept putting it off for various work related reasons, but we wanted time off, easily could afford it, and we finally suspected that this one week, nobody would miss us. Nobody did. We came back, and people asked if we had an exciting time. No. We had no interest in excitement. We wanted anything but excitement. We go on a cruise, because there is mostly nothing to do but relax. Just enough to do if you decide to do something different.
I say relax, and we certainly did, but we typically get 15,000 steps each day on a cruise. At home, we are happy to get half that in.
For the past four years, Mrs. Bar and I have made a month long summer trip to the mountain West. This year, it was Flathead Lake in Montana. Some beverages were consumed, but the summer was definitely not squandered.
DBQ - So sorry to read you broke your leg but glad you have mended enough to get around again. I have not had that experience but I do have arthritic knees and so far have gotten by with getting periodic Synvisc injections.
ALP - rinse and save your eggshells. Near tomato planting time, grind them up in a food processor or blender. Include about a tablespoon or so in each hole you plant the tomato plant. Helps prevent end rot.
As for me - summer is mainly work in garden, etc. This summer was a bummer because of the heat and extra rain, plus my "good" knee started to bother me. I've had "bummer" summers before for various reasons; nothing new. Fall is my favorite season and I don't mind winter. Winter means less work and NO MOSQUITOES. September is when we usually have our family "extended" weekend Up North. Less congestion.
I loved Negronis. I loved them so much they started showing up in blood tests and led me to giving up all of it. I miss them. They were good friends.
I've been hating the weather here in northern Arizona for the last few months. I thought I would never feel cold again. Today I went hiking up on Mingus Mountain (7800" elevation) and got caught in a thunderstorm about 5 miles from my car while dressed for running. It was a long cold slog back to the car. Temperature was in the mid 50s, but in the rain, I was genuinely chilled. Came home and put on a long sleeved shirt.
Good to hear you are feeling better DBQ.
Tomorrow, the first apples of the season go on sale at the local orchard. They're late this year - perhaps they found the summer disappointing and were reluctant to ripen. Maybe somebody left a newspaper in the orchard and they read of how people get treated for scaries and hurties and they got jealous. Who has to stay out in the dark? in the rain? Naturefail.
But you know there is no fail there, the apple trees just go on being appley. And tomorrow ...
I'm surprised that Althouse did not do a closer analysis of the phrase "admire enough fulsome hydrangeas". Or has 'fulsome' been rehabilitated enough that it is no longer considered a "skunked term"?
As a kid I remember having the August dreads – those few weeks leading up to the start of the new school year as the days grew markedly shorter and the sun had a particular golden color with long shadows. It meant a return to routine and rigid schedules. And it also meant seeing a lot of extra chores in my future as the family gardens came into full which involved picking and freezing vegetables, making jams and jellies, and canning tomatoes. We didn’t take a lot of summer vacations away from home since livestock and gardens needed constant tending. Not to mention the last of the split wood to be stacked and dried for winter use. Ah, summer in Vermont.
Thank you Althouse for once again saying something more eloquently than me when you said
"I feel the same about aging. You are where you are on the timeline, and you will do better to value that as good, not use it as a place to contemplate the lost past or the feared future. Live in the present and see the good in it." I've felt that way ever since I approached old age, and that was many a year ago.
Summer is the worst season for travel. It's too hot, and everything is crowded.
Summer is the season of coming up with projects you can do at home in the air conditioning. This year, I made a bunch of software. You can travel during the better seasons.
Context is everything they say. It wasn’t until I looked it up that I realized it is a perfectly c
(I inadvertently hit publish). Undrunk is a perfectly common word. The baggage the word drunk carries kind of blinded me to this. The reason I finally realized this is because I looked it up and there it was.
adjective
adjective: undrunk
(of drink) not consumed.
"he ran out, leaving his coffee undrunk and the bill unpaid"
Is that a type of delusion?
Reflections of a summer? Wasted days tasting Canadian wildfire smoke.
Original Mike said...
"AA: Was that picture taken near Grand Marais?"
"I'm guessing the Keweenaw."
Somewhere west of Ontonagon.
I used to dread going back to school in August, but then in September, when I actually was at school, I was happy to be back among all my friends.
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