ROGAN: I had a buddy of mine who was an actor and he got this part, I think it was in a movie. It was good, you know, good little, small part. He was real excited and his girlfriend started crying and she said, when is something gonna happen for me?... That was her response....
TRUSSELL: Jesus, dude. That's so dark.
ROGAN: I think about that guy sometimes. 'cause I was, I was on a, a show with him, one day, just bit part on a show. And I was like, this guy's gonna be a movie star.... But I remember him telling me, he's like, she started crying, man.... She was crying saying, when is it gonna happen to me? So [he says] I don't know what to do. And I was like Captain Fucking Jettison — I'm Captain Fucking Pull the Parachutes — that's me.... So I was like, dude, you gotta bail out.... You gotta bail now. This one, you can't fix that girl....
TRUSSELL: That's so fucked up.
ROGAN: But she's pretty hot....
TRUSSELL: Dude, I wouldn't have bailed.
ROGAN: She had the heavies... she had natural heavies.
TRUSSELL: Natural heavies. It's worth it!
ROGAN: She's pretty hot.... Great symmetry and sensuality, you mistake for compatibility because in those brief moments when you're naked, which is like what percentage of the day?... Pretty small.... How often are you like naked, touching each other?... If it's 10%, you have the craziest relationship of all time.
TRUSSELL: Yeah.... You're horn dogs.
ROGAN: So 90% of your life is living in hell. With a dummy. With a dummy who is entitled, who wants your money. They deserve your money because they fuck you. That's a lot of guys out there. That's that. That's the old quote. Most men live lives of quiet desperation. That is so goddamn true.
TRUSSELL: Yeah. It's true.
The original line — "The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation" — appears in a context that is not focused on men beset by hellish women dummies. Henry David Thoreau spoke of slavery and self-enslavement:
I sometimes wonder that we can be so frivolous, I may almost say, as to attend to the gross but somewhat foreign form of servitude called Negro Slavery, there are so many keen and subtle masters that enslave both north and south. It is hard to have a southern overseer; it is worse to have a northern one; but worst of all when you are the slave-driver of yourself.... What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate. Self-emancipation even in the West Indian provinces of the fancy and imagination,—what Wilberforce is there to bring that about? Think, also, of the ladies of the land weaving toilet cushions against the last day, not to betray too green an interest in their fates! As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats.
The bravery of minks and muskrats:
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66 comments:
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say,
Pink Floyd -- Time
The age-old problem of navigating the Hot/Crazy Matrix.
"No man is an island." -- Jon Bon Jovi
The quiet lives of desperate mink.
Maybe it's not happening for her BECAUSE of the fake "heavies" Maybe America wants to see people that look natural, not plastic.
He should dump her STAT
Caroline said...
"He should dump her STAT"
But her STATs are 38-24-36
I have mixed emotions about the episode. Yes, it was a horrible reaction but also economic success as an actor happens for an infinitesimally small percentage of those who pursue, even defined with the low bar of just earning any paycheck, so I can appreciate that in the moment this woman who is scared and frustrated by her own choices has this visceral but inappropriate reaction to the news…
Also, for men pursuing their genetic imperatives they’re undervaluing the heavies…
Also, we all believe we deserve ‘better’ but sometimes we don’t…
We’d all like to think we could/would cut and run, don’t we? Perhaps unrelated, but quite surprising to me, every woman in my little grade school clique is now single, on the back side of middle aged, most of them living with cats. Even the ones with the heavies…
Loved the Mink Man Vid. Haven't thought of him in ages!
Thanks!
The maintenance crew at the golf course leaves an egg on the bridge for the mink. The mink darts up to the bridge when the maintenance cart is coming…
"What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate."
For the kind of men Rogan is talking about, what they think of themselves depends heavily on how beautiful the woman is they are sleeping with. So there lies their lives of quiet desperation.
Eventually, the heavies become the floppies and the droopies.
Most men in the nineteenth century devoted their life to supporting their wife and children, thereby assuring the continuance of our species and of Civilization. But Thoreau never had a wife or children. This afforded him the opportunity to think Really Deep Thoughts.
It's often difficult finding the right person. News at 11.
people are selfish... All that dumb hot chick had to do was say - "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you....This is very exciting!" and they'd be getting married.
If all you are looking for is natural heavies, it becomes easier to find the woman you think you need. If that's all you get (which sounds like the case in this instance), that's prolly not going to be enough to keep you happy.
The war between men and women is our longest and most contentious conflict. Still, we find a way, most of us.
It's a miracle, I say.
All you need to know about the man who is the subject of Rogan's commentary is that he is... an actor. Actors are by nature immature, selfish and at least narcissistic adjacent if not outright so. Why else would anyone want to make a living by pretending to be someone else in front of other people? "Look at me, look at me!!!" The old Greeks had it right: they called them hypocrites for a reason. They were usually regarded as trash by others, shunned and avoided and treated like the offscourings of society that they were. Now we look at them as if they were gods. We are a sick society.
After decades of painstaking effort I've gotten much better at being a good listener only to learn that a great many women are totally self-obsessed and will drone on and on and on, never letting anyone else get a word in edgewise, until they start foaming at the mouth and falling over backwards.
So profound and insightful. Why is this man not in trump's cabinet?
I’d infer the reason why she said that was she feared he’d eventually leave her if something didn’t “happen for her.”
Ironically, her saying it out loud triggered that very response.
Is it quiet desperation? Or, is it spirit and determination? Maybe, it's all in how we perceive our own challenges and achievements.
Personal relationships with other humans can be difficult. Learning to deal with them, in healthy ways, is a goal we should all have. "Pulling the chute" as Rogan says, may be the true answer, but, perhaps there are more subtle ways to deal with the problem.
Hard to tell without pictures.
Sella - I remember reading thorough as a kid. Maybe high school or college. I remember thinking yeah! That’s right! I’m gonna live life on my terms. This is so heavy. So deep. I reread him a few years ago as an adult. This time it came across very differently. he seemed more like a freshman in college who discovers something for the first time that everyone already knows and just can’t wait to tell everyone about this new obvious discovery that is really new only to him. Reading him as a kid he sounds so important but reading him as an adult. He sounds a bit more self important. Like he has not really been exposed to life yet and it’s just a cocky kid who doesn’t know anything and who has no experience. It really hit differently, reading it as an adult rather than as a kid. I think a lot of books are like that. The old man in the sea comes to mine. I really didn’t get it when I read it as a kid. It hit hard now well into middle age.
The hot/crazy matrix is so last year. It's hoe_math now. His theory is that most men get friend zoned, a woman knows if she is going to sleep with you within 30 seconds, probably less, and if she's not, she's not, but she will lead you on for your company if she likes you as a person, and women get friend zoned too, but the difference is that the men will have sex with the women in their friend zone, they will just never make that woman a public "number one," and the woman will call it a "situationship" believing that she can work up to be the number one, but like the boy in the friend zone, she will never be able to cross that boundary. Both are trapped by false hope. It's not just young men who are unhappy, young women are miserable too.
His solution is that you have to place yourself in a community where you meet people naturally, not through dating apps, and people will pair up the way evolution intended. Like it was when I was young. Apparently dating apps just completely upset the apple cart and who knows how much of it is intentional by big tech? Long term, happy, committed relationships are bad for business for companies like Tinder and the porn mongers.
TRUSSEL: Natural heavies. It's worth it!
No it’s not. If you want udders, go buy a cow. A wife with B cups can feed your babies as easily as a wife with Ds or larger. Marry a woman who is fun to spend time with outside the bedroom, too, and make sure she’s conservative so your kids will grow up with a moral compass.
I think that Jesus is the one who first used the word "hypocrite" in the modern sense, and was referring to actors as a metaphor.
"Eventually, the heavies become the floppies and the droopies."
Eventually comes around pretty fast in my experience. The obsession with big boobs is a bit silly.
Professor, I'm trying to figure out if legitimizing misogynist views of women on your blog is a feature, or a bug.
It reminded me of French women accused of collaborating with the Nazis -- mostly by having sex with them-- had their hair shaved off and other indignities indlicted on them as they were dragged through the streets after the Allied forces liberated France.
What these fellows need is less Walden Pond and more Bible: Proverbs 6:26, "for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread." Ibid 27:15-16, "A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand." More sex workers and fewer relationships based only on sex would save a lot of men a storm of dripping rain.
When I need a few Deep Thoughts, I search out some Jack Handy.
Find a woman who looks at you the way the ms press looked at Hillary Clinton, circa 2016.
Well, she's sacrificed marriage and children for a career and now she's realizing she may not get the career and (she doesn't say but knows) her guy will bail when she doesn't have the heavies so I'd cry, too. But a better idea would be to learn to cook, go back to Indiana or wherever and start over while she's got something left. Trouble is, women just aren't trained to think they must plan except how to attract, - and yet how many, as widows, find they must learn economic planning. Or, they're lefty women and lefty women based on what I see are likely to become lefties at 40. It is what it is.
Well.... tell the truth, it sounds like she was just as committed to a long term relationship as he was. I recommend she joins a march against fascism, in France.
As for Thoreau, he was just a glorified professional bum that was indulged by Emerson when he was going through a tough time.
Peg leg Picador said “Professor, I'm trying to figure out if legitimizing misogynist views of women on your blog is a feature, or a bug”
When women say something bad about men, it’s insightful and honest truth telling. When men say something about their feelings about some women, it’s misogyny. Men aren’t allowed to have feelings, and must only praise women. The future is female!
The plot of Madame Bovary is that she got bored with her husband and left him and went on a journey of licentiousness and promiscuity. Fiction and fantasy based on the writings of a bitter man? Well, guess what? TikTok is full of women straight out admitting to this, and using hashtags to make sure that strangers can find it!
Our best hope is a strategic nuclear war that takes out all of the server farms running the internet.
Another thing you can find on TikTok is liberal women lamenting that the only people they date that treat them the way they want to be treated are conservatives. One said "I don't even mind a moderate, but in my experience, it's only the straight up Republicans who treat me like a lady, and I can't stand them!"
I don't think that they are just skits, either, although there are a lot of skits on those platforms.
My reaction was similar to Wince's- perhaps she was giving voice to insecurity about the relationship if he succeeds and she fails at their shared pursuit. Of course, being an actor, the Rogan friend could have made up the entire story.
Duncan Tressel must be a supergenius, beccause he's still so smart with stoner voice and has admitted to catastrophically prodiogious drug use.
It's a show business cliche that one partner suffers because the other partner's career takes off. That's why there were so many remakes of A Star Is Born.
I agree with Big Mike.
Per Frank Zappa, anything more than a mouthful is wasted.
in those brief moments when you're naked, which is like what percentage of the day?... Pretty small.... How often are you like naked, touching each other?
This occured to me some years ago when I was (as a much younger man) left agog at why some actor would cheat on or leave his super hot actress/model wife. And then I finally figured out that the hotness really only comes into play a small portion of the time and the rest of the time you may have to be dealing with a psycho-b**** from Hell.
I started to see Celebrity very differently from then on.
Quiet quitting. Desperado...
We are only in the third generation of women who have been granted the extraordinary ability to control whether they get pregnant or not. This civilizational change transforms humans in the world forever after, and there is a lot to work out from that. Right now, we are in the phase where supposedly we are Better than Men, haha, hahaha, hahahahahahahhah.
"Professor, I'm trying to figure out if legitimizing misogynist views of women on your blog is a feature, or a bug" I think you are confusing "allowing" with "legitimizing". There's some misogyny in the comments here but I don't think that means Althouse is trying to somehow legitimate that view. Althouse allows it and the misogynists expose themselves. Any complaints should be directed to them, not her.
“It's hoe_math now. His theory is that most men get friend zoned, a woman knows if she is going to sleep with you within 30 seconds, probably less, and if she's not, she's not, but she will lead you on for your company if she likes you as a person, and women get friend zoned too, but the difference is that the men will have sex with the women in their friend zone, they will just never make that woman a public "number one," and the woman will call it a "situationship" believing that she can work up to be the number one, but like the boy in the friend zone, she will never be able to cross that boundary. Both are trapped by false hope. It's not just young men who are unhappy, young women are miserable too.”
As a guy, you need to see the relationship moving towards whatever (usually sex), or get out quick. Several times I found myself in that situation. And if she has you as a friend, and not mate material, it’s likely that won’t change. If her current love interest fades, she’ll just find another. And it probably won’t be you. My partner fell into this sort of thing several times. One guy met her through me. They started doing Wed movie nights, in PJs and eating popcorn - when I was living in a different state from her. The idea, I think, was to get her drunk or stoned, get her in bed, and that would be that. Except that you don’t want any woman who would ever do that to you. That said, it is possible to have good women friends (I have one for over 50 years now). Just never have the expectation that it will ever be anything else.
Similarly, I had a couple of 2nd girlfriends along the way. They knew that they were 2nd, and hung around, for my convenience. Nice for me. But ultimately not for them. Never as bad as my partner’s ex, who had one lass stick around for a decade, helping to take care of his youngest kid on weekends, etc. Kid graduated from HS, she got her walking papers, and within 5 years, he was married to his HS sweetheart. Also disappointed by him was the mother of that kid, who had had her hooks into him for 18 years. If a guy tells a woman that he won’t marry her, or won’t marry again, take them seriously.
That all said, I think that things maybe change from when you are in HS, or in my case, college, and later. I know several cases where guys in college turned friend relationships into long term marriages. Being in the Friend Zone for these guys positioned them to pounce when graduation approached, and the girl’s intended had left - often they had been a year or two older, had graduated, and left town (typically for grad school).
I enjoy listening to some of Rogan's podcasts. But he will say things that lead me to conclude that he is a moron. Can men and women get along? They can if they can find someone they're really compatible with. I was a miserable little intellectual snob as a young man. If I dated a girl who wan't smart, I got uninterested very quickly. I did find a compatible lady, and here we are a bit more than 60 years later. Dumb with "heavies" would never work for me.
“All that dumb hot chick had to do was say - "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you....This is very exciting!" and they'd be getting married.”
Exactly.
Always be thinking divorce settlement.
" girlfriend started crying and she said, when is something gonna happen for me?..."
Maybe when you abandon victimhood and self-entitlement mentality, get off your self-pitying sorry arse end, and go MAKE something happen.
My soon to be 39 y.o. son found a girlfriend on a dating app. last fall. The last time he used that word was twenty years ago, and until the latest news his romantic and/or sexual lives were utterly opaque to me and my wife.
Turns out they live only a few blocks apart. She's artsy too,
pretty, about ten years younger, and has some boobage.
Could do a lot worse.
Re: misogyny... a Google search returned about 59,000,000 results. If you search "misandry", that total is about a million and a half.
Joe Bar with a strong post.
"Anything more than a mouthful is wasted."
I've been using that saying for 50 years without realizing it came from Zappa. Live and learn.
It's kind of funny looking at the dark side of women in this thread, then I went for a walk and listened to the Bob Seger album "Night Moves." On it there is a song about him being in love with a stripper, "Main Street" and two songs, "Sunspot Lady," I think and "Mary Lou" about girls pretending to be in love with him and robbing him blind. Hmmm... It's like "Little Red Corvette" where 5'3" Prince sings about a woman taking him home and it turns out that she has a fetish for jockeys... Just sayin' This art don't come out of nowhere.
There is a lot of consciousness raising by men going on on social media right now —at least that's what they called it when women did it in the '70s; it puts a lot of hit songs and hit movies in a new light. It just makes me appreciate my sixty (mumble mumble) year old bed mate all the more. It almost seems like a lot of young men have gone from "Can't live with 'em, can''t live without 'em" to "Can't live with 'em." I hope it's just sampling error from the kinds of people posting TikToks, but the distraught young people of both sexes seem pretty sincere.
By the way. Thanks for posting interesting podcasts. I hadn't heard of this one, and I will now check it out.
Peglegged Picador said...
Professor, I'm trying to figure out if legitimizing misogynist views of women on your blog is a feature, or a bug.
Such a stupid low IQ attack on the hostess.
I recall hearing that "moufhful" phrase being said in high school, long before Frank dazzled us with such ditties as "Willie the Pimp".
Timeless wisdom, you might say.
@cf:"We are only in the third generation of women who have been granted the extraordinary ability to control whether they get pregnant or not."
I think this hits it on the head. Biology and culture used to operate as a very strong team, to eliminate this sort of problem; "Congratulations! You're about to get married!".
Oh, and how could I miss this line from Night Moves:
"She had points of her own,
High and firm.
It wasn't long before
Things got heavy..."
Some men claim that more than a handful is a waste. But I’m with Browning:
“Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?”
“Way UP, firm and high”, thank you.
Josephbleau said...
Per Frank Zappa, anything more than a mouthful is wasted.
In the long term I would posit it is worse than wasted. It ends up succumbing to gravity.
Breast size preference boils down to the give and take between long term and short term desires in a relationship.
After a man has reached a certain age, it is as if he is permitted to remove a set of eyeglasses he didn't know he was wearing. By taking those glasses off, he can suddenly choose to see women as people who adapt in various ways to the genetic accidents of their sexual attractiveness or its absence and to the chronological accidents that make them compatible or not. He can suddenly see so many men who seem utterly incurious about the fact that that they have no idea why they want so very much what they want so very much. He can see that our survival as a species depends upon our not being disembodied souls. He sees that, if we weren't screwed up, we couldn't survive.
I think I'll put the glasses back on. Where did I put them? They were here a minute ago.
Even in the short term approximately 50% of the time is not spent facing each other given position preferences.
Waist size and hip shape is always important.
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