"Many people, he argues, refuse to give up: they are perfectionists who strive ceaselessly to get control of their lives as workers, parents, citizens, and friends. Unfortunately, Burkeman writes, experiencing life 'as an endless series of things we must master, learn, or conquer' has the effect of turning it into 'a dull, solitary, and often infuriating chore, something to be endured, in order to make it to a supposedly better time, which never quite seems to arrive.' As a counterbalance, Burkeman advocates 'imperfectionism.'... [Y]ou should try less planning and more doing.... Should we, as a general matter, see giving up as a sign not of weakness but of imagination, acceptance, or wisdom?... I’ve set aside projects that can never be resumed, or friendships that will never be rekindled. I gave up on a troubled relationship with a relative who later had a disabling stroke, after which our bond could never be repaired. Sometimes we give up wrongly, or with devastating results; we might not even know the costs of what we’ve foregone...."
Write Joshua Rothman, in
"Should You Just Give Up? Sisyphus couldn’t stop pushing his boulder—but you can" (The New Yorker).
"Shackleton is still considered a hero today because, although he lost Endurance to the pack ice, he never gave up, and through his incredible grit, courage and inspirational leadership saved all his men."
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23 comments:
Know when to hold 'em,
Know when to fold 'em
Like everything, it's about balance. I pick a few things to be stubborn about and am flexible (give up) on lots else. It's good for keeping stress low and satisfaction high. (It's not good for becoming rich, however.)
Words to live by from 1956
Looks like FEMA has fully embraced this life principle of giving up a little more often and more pervasively. At least in the case of helping American citizens.
Take a knee? Lowered expectations? Baaaa?
Lansing's "Endurance" is one of the best reads re the lengths Shackleton went to save his men.
Sisyphus liked pushing boulders. One-handed, skipping uphill, backwards. He was a virtuoso.
Besides redirecting your efforts on your own initiative, "give up" can also mean submit or surrender to the will of another.
Sounds like "White Supremacy" to me. After all, any sign of merit, like requiring right answers to problems, is another example.
"A man's got to know his limitations."
You beat me to it, Wince!
I think the book I read was Alexander’s back in the 90s. Fascinating read. You think things can’t get worse, yet they do. There was an exhibit at the NY Museum of Natural History some 25 years go or so that had all the (huge) photos and other items. Including the long boat they took from Elephant Island. I couldn’t help but reach out to touch it. It’s a miracle they all survived.
I learned that later in life. Some years ago I finally cleared out all of the leftover junk from grad school because I simply wasn't going to ever teach or do research (specifically) in that field. Some hoarders I know have that same blind spot: "I'm going to use these (hundreds/thousands of) things for a project."
Shakleton's story is unbelievable and true. A rare combination. I've read his book about it (South) which is very British stiff upper lip abut the whole adventure but it is the most amazing story of courage and resilience ever. There are other books retelling the story that bring to life the true magnitude of the problems more than Shackleton does himself. (I might have read the Alexander book, but I don't remember for sure for sure just what first brought the story to my attention).
Was in NY at the time. Impressive exhibit. The boat.
The more stuff you have, the more effort you need to devote to maintenance. At some point, the return does diminsh.
If it's someone else's life or soul for which you are striving, you do not give up. All other situations are negotiable.
Ecclesiastes and Job have some insights that are very helpful. I'd look to them long before dipping into stoicism.
The people who could benefit from this advice, possibly, would never take it.
The thing abut stoicism is that the big proponent of it, Marcus Aurelius, was at the very apex of untrammeled state power as a Roman emperor. Easy for him to say. That's like Joe Biden explaining to us why we shouldn't worry about his corruption, or his wars, because they stain his soul, not ours.
Not to mention that his kid didn't turn out so great, either. That would be Marcus Aurelius' son, though Joe Biden's sone is also quite a piece of work.
Maybe if they renamed the region Ukraine, and renamed all of the cities. I am sure that they would get the love from Harris/Biden that they are seeking.
Doing something again and again under identical circumstances and expecting a different outcome - well, that is insanity. Persevering against obstacles that one overcomes to achieve a goal, well, that is living.
Seems there was a song/idea recently encapsulating the idea "I Won't Back Down"?
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