I understand the humor — I remember the streaking incident from 50 years ago — and I think John Cena played his part well, but I find the body very weird, so weird that I googled whether he was wearing some sort of nakedness body suit. Is that the male ideal these days? Swollen and devoid of hair? And he couldn't have side-stepped out barefoot? He needed Birkenstocks?
Note: He was wearing panties.
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65 comments:
Sure, that’s a natural body the same way Kim Kardashian’s is IYKWIM. And I think you do.
so weird that I googled whether he was wearing some sort of nakedness body suit
All real, baby!
‘ABC News’
So, I didn’t miss anything then?
It's real and it's spectacular.
It wasn't for women.
That was good wholesome humor!
Including,
Cena: “The male body is not a joke!”
Kimmel: “Mine is!”
Lotusland.
So vain. How much do those PEDs cost anyway?
I'm old enough to remember when only certain types of gays and jock sniffers patronized gyms.
Real men were out doing real work, or making money. Or both.
Ann said...
"I think John Cena played his part well, but I find the body very weird... Is that the male ideal these days?"
Eric Cartman replied...
"Beefcake!"
Among other things, Cena is a professional wrestler. Say what you will about WWE scripting, but a bulked-up physique is a necessity for the job.
"Swollen and devoid of hair?"
Some people like that look. YMMV.
"And he couldn't have side-stepped out barefoot? He needed Birkenstocks?"
Correct. Barefoot is a quick way to pick up a foot infection from the locker room/shower.
Wrestlers have always been hairless, muscled action figures. It also fits with the Ken-doll theme.
Ann said...
"I find the body very weird, so weird that I googled whether he was wearing some sort of nakedness body suit. Is that the male ideal these days? Swollen and devoid of hair?"
As a middle-aged man with a dad-bod, I was told a few years ago that that is the new male ideal.
That's the body of a body builder that hasn't dehydrated himself to get the "showtime" look that you see at body-building competitions.
They always wear Birkenstocks. It's a great tool for women to quickly identify tools.
Note: He was wearing panties.
Of course, he doesn't want anyone to know how much his balls have shrunk from all the steroids!
Comedy, naked, oscars, shoes, underpants
Every post occupies a point in a high-dimension space defined by the tags. I wonder what the Althouse archive looks like.
A quick search (visualizing high dimension data) shows there are many tools available for that purpose. Heck, a few years ago my son did a Masters project in that area.
Need a distraction from the daily grind, Meade?
I proudly did not watch The Leftwing Oscars.
I did try to watch Oppenheimer. zzzzzzz. Did they make it difficult to hear on purpose? fast forwarded to the end to hear what Einstein had to say. 100% true about the left.
I also find myself wondering: Why not bare feet?
There is a point where males build muscles beyond what could be considered natural. No one knows where that point is, but we definitely know when it's being exceeded. Apart from professionals who need the "look", like Cena and The Rock or pro bodybuilders, men do not need muscles like that. People spending a lot of time at the gym, are doing it for themselves and may even suffer from a style of body dysphoria similar to anorexia in girls.
It's definitely not an ideal male.
Source: An old, retired guy who spends a lot of time at the gym and who would have the ideal male look (with all the natural hair included) if he could just get his forearms to be a little bit bigger. Thighs, too. And the neck muscles. And...
I'm reminded of the older gentlemen on Leno, who could tear a four-inch thick telephone book in half. A masculine body, without the bulk, of days past. The ladies were, are, of course, in the feminine model, notably curvaceous.
Anything for money. Thats what whores do.
"Some people like that look. YMMV."
It reminded me of a pig carcass.
"It also fits with the Ken-doll theme."
Yeah, it looked like one of those rubber Halloween costumes that let you dress as a naked person.
Putting the Ken in Birkenstock.
Althouse writes, "Is that the male ideal these days? Swollen and devoid of hair?"
These days? Take a look at a Schwarzenegger in 1977. These "physical culture" nimrods have been "pumping up" and shaving off since the days of Charles Atlas if not long before. The whole bodybuilder thing is a display. One could call it performance art if performance art as a category wasn't an insult to art. They aren't as strong as they look. Real strength athletes like Olympic powerlifters and those Icelandic strongmen don't look that way. If they're hairy they're hairy.
There may be a homoerotic component to the hairless pumped-up look that goes back to ancient Greek ideals like the Apollo Belvedere. I recall the newsstand where I bought my favorite periodicals back in the day, magazines like Sea Classics and American Horseman. The was one display section devoted entirely to bodybuilder magazines. There must have been dozens of titles because the display was at least five feet across and three high. There were always browsers in there (many were attorneys taking lunch, the newsstand also had a lunch counter and was located directly across the street from the county courthouse) looking over everything from comic books to Playboy. (The lawyers who fingered the Playboys always made me grin because it was obvious they were just waiting for a discrete opportunity to snatch one of the far-raunchier publications shelved just above them.) Shysters and their choice of reading material, what a laugh! But never, no never, did I ever witness anyone even browse the muscle mags. They must have sold well, else why display them?
Proof that John Cena cannot act.
POS Joe Biden
Just sayin’…
At least he wasn't wearing shorts.
Here's an example of a naked costume.
Costumers Union tribute is why he did that.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C4WrBWZJJ1f/
Althouse writes, "Yeah, it looked like one of those rubber Halloween costumes that let you dress as a naked person."
Like these "nekkid suits" from Das Rheingold.
If I were Alberich, I don't believe I would be quite so obsessed with such piscine porkers as these. (Speak up, Flosshilde! Did you just say "Glub-glub" or "Oink"?)
Althouse writes, "Here's an example of a naked costume"
Morphsuits Official Censored Hillbilly Naked Man Costume.
Hillbilly? What's hillbilly about it? Is one of the legs filled with moonshine? The only nudist hillbillies I know of live just a mile east of Laurel Canyon, nowhere near Branson, Missouri. What the fuck is wrong with Amazon?
Ha, panties is such a generational word. My mom says panties to my kids and they say,"what's that?"
Kinda pathetic that the only way they could have a man run out on stage "naked" is if they make it clear he doesn't want to.
He needs to do some calf work.
"What's hillbilly about it?"
I think it's code for "white."
The skit was mildly amusing, which is a high bar for the Oscars of recent decades.
They can’t just trust that people are going to get the joke.
"Pig Carcass" is best laugh I've had in a while. I agree.
No shoes? No service.
The latest trend in male physique is manorexia. Starving themselves and getting surgery for a sculpted face look.
Bare feet- gym rats hate because fungus. Ew. Hollywood hates because man in bare feet. Ew. Lawyers hate because slip and fall on slippery stage. Funny, but economically Ew.
Barefoot? On that icky floor?
I thought it was funny and well done
He looks like a hairless mole and his nipples are pointing straight to the floor.
But other than the fact that the steroids will kill him at a young age, good for him.
Better that John Goodman...
'Yeah, it looked like one of those rubber Halloween costumes that let you dress as a naked person.'
A tan would help...a lot.
He looks very pasty, and in Hollywood it's not good to be any shade of white, even though white folks won all the awards....
I watched Oppenheimer and thought it was great. I didn't watch the Oscars. Makes me want to puke. And Jimmy Kimmel is just as asshole. He's up there with Keith Olbermann.
But Cillian Murphy (even better in Peaky Blinders), Robert Downey Jr., and Emma Stone are at least palatable for winners.
Da'Vine Joy Randolph from "The Holdovers" was good too.
This is the first time in ages I've actually watched the winning movies and performances.
He was wearing panties.
I misread this as "wearing pasties" and giggled at it this morning without comment. Now not only did I read it incorrectly, I realize it wouldn't have made sense for what needed covering.
In the vanities
No one wears pantities
Ogden Nash
What's shocking is no visible tattoos.
Where's bygone Althouse commenter peter iron rails iron weights to regret the lack of body hair, though I don't think he cared about men's?
"Is that the male ideal these days?"
No, it's not. Christopher Reeve was in good shape for Superman, but he didn't look musclebound. Whereas Henry Cavill was way too muscular. This a Hollywood thing that was started by Schwarzenegger films. At some point, probably because the box office for action movies was so good, Hollywood decided that bigger was better. The action hero became an overly muscled caricature of being male.
Having a physique like a professional body builder is hard to do and difficult to maintain. Plus, it really isn't healthy, since most of these people use steroids and other dangerous chemicals.
But that's human nature, to take the ball and run with it.
What's shocking is no visible tattoos.
Yeah, that is a bit surprising.
I still like a man who's lean and mean.
These guys are lost, trying to impress each other. Bad as women.
“There may be a homoerotic component to the hairless pumped-up look that goes back to ancient Greek ideals like the Apollo Belvedere.”
Could be, it’s possible. It has been said that in modern times, Greek males could not be depended on during a time of war… as they always had serious difficulties leaving their brother’s behind.
Oh, and I’ve owned an Olds Apollo and a Plymouth Belvedere. There is nothing Greek about them.
Do I perceive a hint of jealousy from the men who never workout . He is a normal athlete in football and amateur wrestling.
Let’s just hope she never discovers she is a woman born in that body.
Body hair on super-buff dudes can obscure their cut physique. Probably wrestlers are following the Mr. Universe types who shaved to make certain their extremely cut muscles were highly apparent.
"He was wearing panties."
Thong or grannies? I ain't looking.
"Having a physique like a professional body builder is hard to do and difficult to maintain. Plus, it really isn't healthy, since most of these people use steroids and other dangerous chemicals."
Brah, do your even lift!
Also, automatically accusing anyone who gets built up a little of using steroids is an obvious cope that usually signals a man without a chest. Or shoulders.
Where's Titus on this one?
Pig carcass! That's pretty louche for Althouse. You do agree with distrusting men in sandals, I hope.
Thanks for ruining my beautiful crock pot rubbed butt dinner. I'm going to feel like I'm eating John Cena. Or HUFU.
Ann, I can't tell if that Halloween costume is circumcised.
Hey Althouse! (and Althouse commenters) It was a JOKE! "See how important costumes are?"
PS I'm glad and relieved to hear that he was wearing "panties", but the next time a beautiful young woman shows up at the Oscars looking nearly nekkid, please don't spoil my fun.
I wouldn’t complain about seeing his/that physique - or whatever you might want to refer to it as.
Look in the mirror; should you like to see that on stage? (POV might change the response…)
Cena denies steroid use. Some people have the genetics to look like that. There are classes of natural Professional bodybuilders who are bigger than Cena.
Being well muscled is very healthy and prevents injury. You don't have to be bulky to be strong. It's especially important when you're hair turns gray. For women, it's the best medicine against osteoporosis. It's also a hedge against diabetes.
I suspect Wild Chick is representative of most females by preferring men to be lean who can work all day long at hard labor like a horse rather than pose in front of a mirror like a gorilla.
"Cillian Murphy (even better in Peaky Blinders)"
He was brilliant in that show, which at first did a great job of being violent as hell yet with most of the gore just off screen.
Seemed like all such shows these days leaned into graphic violence as time progressed. Still, a great show.
"automatically accusing anyone who gets built up a little of using steroids is an obvious cope"
The difference is not difficult to discern.
"This a Hollywood thing that was started by Schwarzenegger films. "
Preceded by Steve Reeves in the Italian Hercules flicks of the early 1960s.
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