September 29, 2023
"If you’re the bristler, acknowledge how vulnerable your partner feels when he or she initiates sex, and honor your partner’s attempts to connect with you...."
"'You can say something like "Oh, sorry, honey, you startled me, let’s circle back to this tonight"'...."
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"Oh, sorry, Joe...you were sniffing me, let’s circle back to this tonight."
- Jen Psaki
Jen circled back in the morning
She circled back at night
She circled back on weekends too
It made her feel alright
She circled back in times of peace
And Twice in times of war
She circled back before she circled back
But now she circles back no more
Bristler? A new and softer term for "frigid"?
“Bristle” raises the image of hackles rising, living tissue lifted involuntarily into a position of readiness, things becoming…well, erect. What’s not to like!?!
Circlebacker: Okay, now where were we?
Circlebakee: Never mind. It's taken care of.
Circlebacker: What? You mean you...?
Circlebackee: No no. Not that. It was weird, Babe. I...for some reason I just like spuzzed in my pants when I was dropping off those flowers at Theresa's. I mean...I didn't do anything. I was driving away. Both hands were on the wheel. Then all of a sudden, Pfthttt! Never happened before. It wasn't half bad though.
Circlebacker: Wow...wait a minute...Theresa?! So, I never made you just up and spuzz in your pants for no reason?! You fucking asshole!
"Bristle" makes her sound hairy.
"Flinch" might be a better word, but it's not really right either.
"Let’s circle back to this tonight" makes sex sound like a professional obligation.
I've found it more productive to use the Clyde Beatty method of 'suggesting' sex with my wife. A good whip and a chair as protection seems to work more often than not. And I've only been bitten a couple of times.
Bob Boyd...pretty funny stuff.
Our two mini Aussies bred together three times over 8 years, and were kept apart during the female's times in heat otherwise. The degree of desire expressed by our male dog, and all other male dogs in the neighborhood, when sweet little Rosie was rarin' to get some was a lesson for the entire family in sexuality, expressed or unfulfilled and without any inhibitions of society standing in the way. The rest of Rosie's life was a recurring experience of the male's nose up her backside ruff every 60 seconds, followed by her "bristling" at him to stop, as he awaited her gloriously altered receptivity to once again occur.
Our 12 year old half-lab, neutered at 1 year old, even managed to mate or at least hook up once with Rosie, much to our astonishment. We of course recorded the event, and immediately texted it to our son, the dog's owner, who was in college at the time. He opened the video text with full volume, in the school library, surrounded by his male friends. Only females sitting at other desks bristled at the sounds coming from his phone, according to his report.
'C'mere, c'mere, c'mere, get away, get away, get away...'
Our two mini Aussies bred together three times over 8 years, producing somewonderful pups, but were kept apart during the female's times in heat otherwise. The degree of desire expressed by our male dog, and all other male dogs in the neighborhood, when sweet little Rosie was rarin' to get some was a lesson for the entire family in sexuality, unfulfilled and without any inhibitions of society standing in the way. The rest of Rosie's life was a recurring experience of the male Aussie's nose up her backside ruff every 60 seconds, followed by her "bristling" at him to stop, as he awaited her gloriously altered receptivity to once again occur.
Our 12 year old half-lab, neutered at 1 year old, even managed to mate or at least hook up once with Rosie, much to our astonishment. We of course recorded the event, and immediately texted it to our son, the male dog's owner, who was in college at the time. He unwittingly opened the video text with full volume, in the school library, at a desk surrounded by his male friends. Only females sitting at other desks within hearing bristled at the sounds coming from his phone, according to his report.
The relevance of this story will be apparent to any husband or boyfriend who tracked their SO's menstrual cycle to avoid bristling and anticipate receptivity. Sounds horribly sexist, but I'm at least alive to tell the tale.
If my wife uses the phrase "let’s circle back to this tonight" it may be grounds for divorce. And if I use it she's justified in using it as ground, too.
Bob Boyd for the win, with a strong second place for RideSpaceMountain.
The "shocking fuzz of your electric furr" not always good?
Yancey: I second your proposed awards. Both excellent.
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