January 27, 2023

These turning-the-tables arguments don't always work out the way the table-turner thinks.

Via Gail Heriot on Instapundit

Now, that's a screen shot, not a working embedded tweet, and there are lots of Twitter accounts named "Women in Power." There's no "@" line. Did someone make a screen shot, then erase the "@" part?

I suspect that "Women in Power" is copying someone else's nicely drawn, well-conceived comic. Where is the artist's name? Also erased?

Anyway, isn't Heriot right that a lot of men would get a charge out of hearing these stray, lame compliments? But what happens next?! I'm predicting a shit show. 

ADDED: I searched Google images until I found one that identified the artist. It is Kasia Babis.
Katarzyna "Kasia" Monika Babis (born 20 December 1992) is a Polish author of comic books, cartoonist, illustrator, painter, author of children's books, YouTuber and political activist.

She has published webcomics in Polish on her blog Kącik Kiciputka since 2012 and in English at Kittypat Daily since 2016, initially using the pseudonyms "Kiciputek" and "Kittypat"... Since 2017, she has been publishing English-language comics at The Nib and in 2019 her cartoon was first published by The New Yorker....

AND: Does the artist, Kasia Babis, have anything to do with the "Women in Power" caption? Don't stick her with the clunky observation "You wouldn't like it either." When I predicted "a shit show," I imagined the man liking it too much and launching into what would be experienced as harassment for the woman.

ALSO: Here's the New Yorker cartoon. Excellent!

82 comments:

Randomizer said...

When my mother was getting on in years, she was starting to feel the loss of autonomy as my siblings and I would do things for her. She'd try the turn-the-tables argument.

"How would you like it if I came over to your house and started vacuuming and cleaning your house?"

My favorite was after her birthday.

"How would you like it if I brought cake and ice cream over to your house?"

We did try to be sensitive, but honestly, neither of those sounds too terrible.

Saint Croix said...

In some contexts, politics is really stupid and a waste of time.

You're not scientists testing your theories in a lab.

And he's not your lab rat!

Mr Wibble said...

It's like the comic where the smarmy guy tells the pro-lifer, "You can push this button and end all abortion, but you also have to end the death penalty!" and then is uncomfortable when the pro-lifer immediately begins repeatedly pressing the button.

gilbar said...

the only one that would upset me, would be: Your tits look really big in that shirt

tim in vermont said...

I first saw it on Twitter as a nice way to lower the rate of male suicide, but now that I searched for it, I am pretty sure my computer thinks, well, I am not going to write it out again, sotto voice: they're listening.

iowan2 said...

The problem becomes the man being objectified giving it back. Now who does HR discipline. We all know how that will turnout.

Mr Wibble said...

The responses raise an interesting discussion about how rarely men are shown appreciation or complemented by women. I'm not saying that ladies should complement random men, but consider how often you do for the men in your lives.

Cappy said...

I'm on board with it.

rhhardin said...

It doesn't work because men aren't into nagging as how to get stuff.

tim in vermont said...

Obviously it would be evil for any person to try to make a connection with another that didn't involve their smartphone and big tech.

tim in vermont said...

Have you noticed that the women in ads and on TV get heftier and heftier, but the men still find ways to take their shirts off to show off the abs? I have no problem with it, except that they took away the cheerleader shots in NFL games, fair is fair, bring 'em back.

Ann Althouse said...

@Randomizer

It sounds as though your mother had a delightful sense of humor.

Temujin said...

I'm reminded regularly that a large percentage of women have no understanding at all of men, just as a large percentage of men have no understanding of women. That's what makes it all so much fun.

Enigma said...

None of those examples qualify as 'harassment.' Simple compliments, yep. Flirtatious, absolutely. However, anyone who lived through their teens and twenties knows that flirting is often welcome. Many would love them all. Accidentally touching the hand of a cashier can be welcome. Having your hair cut by someone of the opposite sex can be welcome.

Many have lost touch with the animal / carnal nature of being an animal. Fear of the opposite sex was historically the realm of nuns, prudes, paranoids, and celibates. Oh, I see. We've become a culture of prudes and paranoids in reaction to how the sex and drugs and rock and roll generation crushed common decency and functional morality.

Never trust anyone over 30...if they were part of the sex and drugs and rock and roll generation...

Deirdre Mundy said...

@randomizer

Hilarious, especially since, in fact, those are things that women often DO for their kids after retirement, especially once grandkids appear.

Humperdink said...

End the death the penalty to end all abortion? In a heartbeat....

Back to the topic. I make it a point to compliment my spouse's appearance. The response is always a smile. I never compliment other women. Tantamount to touching the third rail.

Tom T. said...

It doesn't work because men aren't into nagging as how to get stuff.

The entire reason men say these things to women is because the men are nagging the women to get stuff.

I suspect that even men would eventually get tired of hearing this sort of thing multiple times a day, every day of their lives.

JeanE said...

When I was in college, one of the young men I knew routinely complimented his female friends in this way, and it was delightful! Who wouldn't like hearing "Good afternoon- that smile is just what I needed to brighten my day!"
Perhaps we did not feel harassed because we knew that just a couple of years earlier his girlfriend had been killed in a car accident, and he was not dating anyone- just making conversation, so we were free to enjoy the compliments.
I do think a lack of clear, commonly acknowledged boundaries, creates a great deal of tension in interpersonal relationships. The boundaries on sexual interaction that existed when I was in college were not all realistic and were not equitable, but at least there were boundaries. In many ways I think this made it easier for all of us. Girls were expected to say no, but boys pretty much expected them to say no and were generally willing to accept no for an answer. I think most young women now feel much more pressure to be sexually active early in the relationship, and since young men no longer expect women to say no, it feels much more like a personal rejection than mere compliance with accepted norms.
Receiving a compliment should be a joy, not an annoyance or a threat of harrassment.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

I do get a lot of compliments in regards to my prowess with technology. It can be annoying, because people want me to fix stuff for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cihXfGTKNJs

Sebastian said...

"When I predicted "a shit show," I imagined the man liking it too much and launching into what would be experienced as harassment for the woman."

That's funny. I imagined a man trying to do to a woman what women have done to men: liking semi-intimate contact at first, then exploiting regret to bring charges of harassment or worse.

The Drill SGT said...

not quite the exact role reverse theme of the post, but there are many cartoons pointing out that in the workplace, the difference between a complement and a sexual harrassment complaint is strictly in the mind of the involved female up to several years later. eg purely situational and subjective

Tina Trent said...

For those who don't know, Gail Heriot is the only sane member of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights. She is a rare and brilliant conservative law professor who opposes both hate crime laws and race and gender preferences in academia and workplaces. It seems odd to me that she would tweet cartoons but not surprising that she would make fun of this one. Then again, she has to slog through this sort of issue all day, every day, immersed in entire institutions of people who despise her views.

Rory said...

This is exactly like the video where they said corporations could vastly increase their profits by hiring underpaid women, and conservatives said, "Yeah, this is what we've been telling you."

Shouting Thomas said...

The job of a church musician, particularly if he’s a man, is to play for and entertain old ladies. That’s 75% of any congregation.

They compliment me endlessly, both for my music, for being with them and for being an attractive and capable man. I recently started wearing glasses. The ladies were thrilled with the look and let me know about it.

I enjoy it. The only potential negative is that the ladies might delude themselves into thinking I’ll get romantic with them. The ones who hope for this are usually quite open and polite about expressing their interest. I accept the compliments and attention with gratitude. Why not?

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

Randomizer - LOL - clean the house and bring cake?
Please! I promise not to complain.

Male - female - non-binary. All are welcome to swing by, clean the house and bring cake. I don't even care if you let your boyfriend dress you.

RNB said...

"I imagined the man liking it too much and launching into what would be experienced as harassment for the woman." Is that the most likely next step: That the man acts inappropriately, but more inappropriately than the woman? What if the next step is for the woman to more openly proposition the man? Offer him money for sex? Threaten his employment? Threaten him with a false rape charge?

Marcus Bressler said...

I've always had a difficult time accepting a compliment.
Here's a difference between men and women:
Men, upon seeing a friend for the first time in a long time, remarks that "you got fat" or "you look like death". It's based in true feelings of the sender.
Women give compliments to other women about their current state of dress (or hair, or whatever) and Don't. Mean. A. Word. Of. It. They walk away and say, "Did you see how she LOOKED in that outfit? What is that, a TJMaxx markdown? And what's with that hair?"

The only compliments I give women at work relate to their work performance. Who wants a visit to HR?

Marcus B. THEOLDMAN

BTW, thanks to the commenter who offered the suggestion on the countertop dishwasher. I put it on my Amazon Wish List. After I pay off the IRS for last year's rise in my personal income, I will get one. Maybe use the Affirm feature on Amazon.

prodigal said...

well since men don't listen to half of what is said to them, or so I'm told, comments such as these would have little impact, positive or negative

RideSpaceMountain said...

Jordan Peterson - when he's not sobbing uncontrollably - has said repeatedly that the "lack of encouragement for men and boys throughout the world is shocking". And he is absolutely correct.

Men and boys should never be over-encouraged, like girls are. But the level of encouragement should not be zero, which in certain places and under certain circumstances it is very close to approaching.

Quaestor said...

Randomizer writes, "..."

Althouse beat me to it.

However, I really like "Randomizer" as an online nom de plume. Can't get more non-categorical than that. It also makes for a high-concept comedy sci-fi weapon.

Randomizers on stun.

Ann Althouse said...

"None of those examples qualify as 'harassment.' Simple compliments, yep. Flirtatious, absolutely. However, anyone who lived through their teens and twenties knows that flirting is often welcome."

"Harassment" in this context has a special legal meaning, where it's a form of sex discrimination. The idea is that the working conditions are different for men and women. Even if compliments are "often welcome," if you've got an environment where women are getting complimented for their looks and so forth, then you don't have equality. Even if people like to be told they look good, if that's the way people are talking to you at work, you have to worry about your career progress. What track are you on? What are the standards for women and men?

Ann Althouse said...

My "shit show" prediction is that if women in the workplace gave men this sort of compliment — the traditional sort that men give women — the men will feel encouraged to try to get more from that woman. It won't go well. I think most women figure out it's not a good idea to signal to men that you find them attractive unless you actually do. You could end up in an awkward situation and who knows how it might hurt you at work in the end.

dbp said...

Context matters:

For instance, if you're a handsome 6-foot tall, fit man and you compliment a female co-worker, that's fine. If you're an average guy and you compliment a woman you work with, then you are not only a schlub, you're a stupid schlub, who is risking his career for no good reason.

Ann Althouse said...

And by "unless you actually do," I mean you're actually interested in forming an outside-of-work relationship with him.

It's not a good idea for injecting fun into the workplace.

Joe Smith said...

She's a Babe-is.

See what I did?

dbp said...

If I was single and was the guy in the green panel, I would definitely let myself believe she was flirting with me and give some kind of encouraging response. To test the waters.

Ampersand said...

Temujin nails it at 832.
As regards equality of working conditions, the application of the concept of equality to office chitchat guarantees lots of shitshows because so much of what is said is spontaneous stuff that manifests from unconscious social reflexes, and the way in which things are perceived is lost the impenetrable web of intersubjectivity. We need to have a consensus on what is and isn't trivial.

gilbar said...

Ron Winkleheimer said...
I do get a lot of compliments in regards to my prowess with technology. It can be annoying, because people want me to fix stuff for them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cihXfGTKNJs

Dear various parents, grandparents, co-workers, and other "not computer people."
We don't magically know how to do everything in every program. When we help you, we're usually just doing this: Tech Support Cheat Sheet

Tina848 said...

Men and Women are different.

When I was in college, a few of us girls, who had a few drinks, thought it would be fun to scare the guys in the men's dorm. We donned bandanas, had water guns and went on the attack. We demanded their BVDs in an homage to the Panty Raids of old.

Only one problem, they were FAR too willing to give them up. They literally dropped their pants in front of us instead of running away. We ended up having to escape rather quickly as they were chasing after us so we wouldn't leave.

We were 19 and not the sharpest tacks in the pack.

Ditto with Harassment....Men might consider it flattering and flirtatious and not harassment.

FullMoon said...

Exactly correct. Women obviously hate compliments and men would also, if they ever got any.

Daniel12 said...

"For instance, if you're a handsome 6-foot tall, fit man and you compliment a female co-worker, that's fine. If you're an average guy and you compliment a woman you work with, then you are not only a schlub, you're a stupid schlub, who is risking his career for no good reason."

This is incel logic: "Chads get to flirt but not me". But Chads are some of the worst, in part because they assume that their attention is wanted, instead of realizing that people often don't want to spend all day at work as the object of anyone's sexual attention -- men and women.

Maybe that's something that men can grasp more easily. For instance: you just gave a big presentation at work, and the first five responses are how great you look in your suite, your alluring way of presenting, and how hard it is to concentrate on what you're saying when you look that good. That would piss off a whole lot of men.

Ann Althouse said...

"How to compliment a guy's smile."

RNB said...

RideSpaceMtn: "Jordan Peterson... has said repeatedly that the 'lack of encouragement for men and boys throughout the world is shocking.'" I am retired now from a 42-year career in engineering. I guess I did pretty well. Kept my job through multiple RIFs. Steady promotions, raises, and bonuses. Know I successfully accomplished some really interesting projects. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have been complimented or praised for my work. That's the norm.

Lilly, a dog said...

I've seen these before. If you rub each panel with lemon juice, it reveals a secret hidden response from each man: "Ayo bby lemme clap dem cheeks."

gahrie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RNB said...

"How to Compliment a Guy's Smile" / Written by John Keegan

Loved his "Face of Battle." :)

Leland said...

I understand the shit show, because I’ve seen it play out. The panels mentioning looks are a problem, but if they happened once, then certainly move on. I was once in a meeting where a guy went on for 10 minutes complimenting a woman’s jacket. It was a 30 minute meeting. The guy invited himself. He was wasting everyone’s time. And it was harassment. That’s a shit show, but the cartoon only portrays an opening salvo. If the guy had simply said “nice jacket” and allowed us to move on with the meeting agenda then it wouldn’t have been a thing.

HR did a great job getting rid of this guy. He wanted a promotion that required a psych evaluation, so they sent him to do the evaluation. The dummy hit on the psychiatrist. Now they had a third party professional opinion to support termination with cause.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

@gilbar

Love it.

Witness said...

sounds great, right up until it starts to get annoying

SeanF said...

Althouse: I think most women figure out it's not a good idea to signal to men that you find them attractive unless you actually do.

That's a self-perpetuating problem, though. If women don't regularly give platonic compliments to men, then it is right and proper for a man to assume that a compliment indicates romantic interest.

MadisonMan said...

If I got a compliment like those in the comic, I think I'd feel more puzzled than anything else.

Daniel12 said...

"Women obviously hate compliments and men would also, if they ever got any."

Everybody likes compliments, and no one wants to be sexualized all day at their job. For the first part of my career, I didn't know how to give compliments without sexualizing, so I didn't give compliments. But you can't do that forever. Over a few years of becoming work friends with people, it eventually is odd if you don't ever say something about a new hairdo or that great necklace. It's a bit like the "Mike Pence mother" problem -- avoiding all personal interaction because any interaction is sexual is still objectification! So you have to learn how to give non-sexual compliments. But Chad the 6 foot cad can't ever do that, because every word out of his mouth actually is sexual.

Rusty said...

Ann Althouse said...
"My "shit show" prediction is that if women in the workplace gave men this sort of compliment — the traditional sort that men give women — the men will feel encouraged to try to get more from that woman. It won't go well. I think most women figure out it's not a good idea to signal to men that you find them attractive unless you actually do. You could end up in an awkward situation and who knows how it might hurt you at work in the end."
When I opened a stuck drawer at my Dr.s office today the nurse said, " Wow! You know how to fix stuff." As Meade will tell you that's enough of a compliment.

Michael K said...

"How would you like it if I came over to your house and started vacuuming and cleaning your house?"

My mother was visiting me after my divorce. She spent a couple of months. One morning she was vacuuming while my teenage kids sat there watching. At the time, she was in her 80s and the kids were quickly encouraged (strongly) to take over the chore.

The exceedingly rare example of a man being sexually harassed was the movie "Disclosure" Of course the story was by Michael Crichton. It was a pretty good movie with a realistic plot.

Antiantifa said...

Kudos for finding and crediting the artist.

Lurker21 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FullMoon said...

Suggestion for workplace, loose fit uniforms, no makeup, perfumes, or deodorants.

Lurker21 said...

"Hello, lovely gentlemen."

Yes, men might find that amusing or enticing. I wonder though about "Hello, lovely ladies," though. Can we really be as naive as 70s feminists were? Some women might like being called "lovely ladies." Generation, class, and nationality or culture would seem to be important factors. So many of our indignant Western crusades could be seen as just more imperialism.

Even within our culture, privileged people may think a utopia of individual fulfillment and actualization is attainable that less privileged people understand will never be realized, so perhaps a group of older women who've been working the assembly line for decades might like being called "lovely ladies" (even if they recognize some insincerity in the comment), while competitive twentysomething women would find it patronizing and be enraged by it.

Bruce Hayden said...

“For those who don't know, Gail Heriot is the only sane member of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights.”

I too am a big fan of hers. She pops up on occasion at Instapundit and Volokh, and I always read what she says.

JK Brown said...

As drawn, many men might not be offended by such attention, Mike Pence excepted. However, change the female character to an over-40, over-weight woman. How's that change the perception. Or make the female character a gay man?

Long ago in one of the many sexual harassment training sessions of the '90s and '00s, this similarly came up when the "instructor" told of a case where a woman had someone putting Playboy on her chair. The question was what if you as a man has someone putting Playgirl on your chair. Many men said they wouldn't mind. I asked if they'd change their mind if they found out it was a woman they didn't find attractive? Or a gay man?

The real problem is, even women don't find the action offensive if done by the right man. Problem is women only find 5% of all men to be in the "right man" category. Men, according to dating app data, are likely to not be so offended by such actions by 70% of women.

Gunner said...

Giant Breast Computer Woman is basically every guy's fantasy.

Bruce Hayden said...

“My mother was visiting me after my divorce. She spent a couple of months. One morning she was vacuuming while my teenage kids sat there watching. At the time, she was in her 80s and the kids were quickly encouraged (strongly) to take over the chore.”

Oldest grandson (just 21) just moved in with us. Had been living with the other grandparents, but had to share a bedroom with another (male) cousin, who is both a slob and a mess. Partner got me to buy in, because he is so helpful around the house. Nope. That is his next brother who graduated from Army boot camp this week near the top of his class. He just watches her work around the house, talks while she does, and never offers to help.

n.n said...

Despite trimesters of feminists equating the sexes, the male sex sustains a broader range of affection for sex-correlated gender aesthetics and affectations.

PM said...

That's a welcome turnabout. Thoughtful.
That one chick has a nice rack.

JaimeRoberto said...

The one about repairing the computer seems condescending, but the other ones wouldn't bother me.

takirks said...

I've been sexually harassed by women in a workplace environment. It didn't take the form of compliments, in any way, shape, or form.

What it took the form of was a commander who used her sexuality to get away with the things she'd say, which if they'd come out of the mouth of a male, would have resulted in combat and probably murder. Because she was a woman with the full power and authority of the UCMJ backing her up, she got away with it.

Took me some time to figure out what was going on, because I didn't process it as harassment at first. Once I did, I just started laughing at her, and her sycophantic minions she'd placed around herself. The woman was utterly incompetent at her job, and despite being bomb-proof as the "first woman assigned" that company commander's position, she wound up with a less-than-stellar evaluation report for her command, because the cliquishness of her command environment was clear to all involved. I got put into the position I was in order to help make her look good; she instead took me as a threat, and did everything to undermine my work and position in the company. This was noticed, and I actually got an apology from the senior NCO involved with it all.

If you're being sexually harassed as a male, it never looks like the cartoon. It consists of constant negative attacks on your identity as a competent male; snide remarks to others, meant to be heard by you. Gaslighting. Lies. Petty manipulations. Denials of reasonable, routine requests, and petty harassment of your subordinates, who wind up as pawns in the events.

It doesn't take the form of the sort "I want to sleep with you" thing that everyone projects; it generally takes the form of "I feel threatened by you because you're male", and it goes from there. Sex in terms of f*cking ain't got spit to do with it, except perhaps in some back-assward repressed denial way. That particular commander? I'd have probably chosen the bullet as a solution, presented with the "F*ck me, or die..." proposition. Ugly, ugly personality, to the degree I never once looked at her in any way as a sexual being. Couldn't get past the personality and her presentation of it, TBH.

(cont)

takirks said...

On the whole, one of those damaged personalities that the military officer corps has a bad habit of attracting, and then failing to identify or control. Last I heard of her, she was on her third divorce, and had been relieved from duty for multiple reasons relating to her essential inability to work with others, plus what rumor said to be DUI. Never confirmed any of that, but the grapevine fed that back, over the years.

Oh, and she exhibited every single attribute you'd expect from someone who deliberately sought out the cachet of being the "first female company commander" of a formerly all-male element. Total careerist and clique-monger, zero "selfless service" attitude ever demonstrated. Every decision that woman ever made in my observation was first run through an algorithm to determine what was in it for her; if you needed something done? You'd better be damn sure it made her "look good" in every respect.

The funniest thing was watching all the dumbf*ck males around her respond whenever she worked her "feminine wiles", such as they were. For the Battalion Commander, she always played "favorite daughter", and he apparently never recognized what she was doing to manipulate him. Part of the problem we had between her and myself was that I flatly refused to treat her as anything other than another officer; I paid no attention to the sex in the window, and that enraged her from the beginning. I also was pretty clear that I didn't want the job of making her look good, because I'd have preferred to stay on the line where I'd been, and learn my actual job better than be in the headquarters kissing her ass all the time.

Didn't go well, at all. Looking back, I should have just told the commander and the Sergeant Major to fix their own damn problems instead of sloughing them off on me.

boatbuilder said...

Cue Tom Brady SNL skit…never gets old.

walter said...

The comments in the cartoon are from a different era.
I worked a rape story news segment in Madison where a woman recounted seeing the alleged attacker at a party moving around "like an Alpha male".
I will say that the gal in the third panel has oppressive tits.

J Melcher said...

Men and women speak so differently it's a common topic of jokes.

Consider Billy Crystal's "camp" impression of Fernando Lamas complimenting a woman. The joke is that a women (or camp male imitating a woman) exaggerates the positive comment beyond hyperbole -- and is often about the accessories (that can be changed) rather than the woman's underlying appearance (which, admittedly, can't) "Darling! You look marvelous! Your hair is just perfect! Those shoes are DIVINE. Where did you find that exquisite jewelry? You shine like dewdrops on roses, dear. And that dress shows off your figure so, well, I just hate you. You are just too too heavenly..."

Then consider Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. A manly man compliments another man by understatement to a third man. "Well, look at junior over there. Hardly recognize him, he cleaned up better than I thought he might. You said he'd never get that cowlick down, but I guess enough hair gel and... That idiot boy might get himself a lady friend after all. Maybe he isn't as hopeless a case as everybody expected..."

NOW, imagine Clint walking up to Meryl Strep or some lady and telling her she "cleaned up halfway decent... Some people said you dress out of the thrift store but I pretty much doubt that." Or Meryl gushing at Clint about "Oooh, your shoes are SO shiny, do you polish them yourself? I bet you were in the Marines, your shoulders give it away. Is that when you got that amazing interesting scar near your ear? Can I touch it? You seem really tough..."

The femm-gender inflected speech patterns affect Facebook and Instagram postings, as well. Male inflections show up in the side chat channels of video game conversations. Marshall McLuhan, if I as a man may say so, understated the case when he explained that the medium drives the message.


Jim at said...

If some women want to go through life as a bunch of snarling scolds - offended at anything and everything - fine. But don't complain when everybody else hates your guts, never speaks to you and won't invite you to play any reindeer games.

Be miserable by yourselves, and leave the rest of us alone.

FullMoon said...

O.K. fellas, now imagine the unattached homosexual co-worker complimenting you daily on your appearance.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Jake said...

Gotta agree with the Professor on this one. I think she nailed it. Please do not construe this compliment as a come on.

Jake said...

"O.K. fellas, now imagine the unattached homosexual co-worker complimenting you daily on your appearance.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)"

I can honestly say I would be flattered and entirely unconcerned.

MadisonMan said...

O.K. fellas, now imagine the unattached homosexual co-worker complimenting you daily on your appearance.
Following what I said, above: Puzzlement. I suppose if it were daily, I'd learn how to roll my eyes without actually rolling them, if you know what I mean.
Not everything has to be commented on.

n.n said...

This is akin to a [Muslim] trans/bisexual included in a trans/homosexual social club.

A human rights activist in a Planned Parenthood clinic.

A trans/neo/quasi/sim female under progressive DIE doctrine in a girl's room.

Perhaps a socially liberal father showering with his mature but underage daughter.

Steve said...

I had a woman say "Hey baby you are looking fine in that suit!" to me two years ago. She was 15 years older than me and definitely out weighed me by a lot.

I still think of that and smile.

rcocean said...

There are "Compliments" and there are "unwelcome compliments". The computer one can be written off as a tech guy being amazed a "Non-tech" person can do anything, let alone fix their computer. But telling someone at work how "Good looking they are" and ending with the order "they should Smile More" - is boderline harrassment.

Its always a good thing to save your compliments on someone's looks for outside the workplace.

ccscientist said...

At work, sometimes the guys try to rib me but I am impervious to it, as are many guys. I just smile because I am getting attention. For guys, you can say "look what the cat drug in" when Tom shows up, and we all laugh. Better not say that for the ladies. As to compliments, we would love to get more.

ccscientist said...

On one job I had the short female boss of our dept would tell dirty jokes to be "one of the guys" but she was a vindictive witch who could not be trusted. I did not interact with her jokes or even laugh.

Tina Trent said...

If that's the worst you have ever experienced, you haven't been subjected to the Maoist reaction, backed by the powers that be. Count yourself fucking lucky.

SteveWe said...

Late to comment here, but some may find this story interesting.

I was 30-something, single man working as an in-house auditor of the IT operation. I had a private office. I had notice that one of the IT staff, a woman, had been giving me "come hither" looks. One day she entered my office unbidden and for no reason. She shut the door behind her and clicked the lock button. She started unbuttoning her blouse. Whoa Nellie! I got out of my chair, said "No, No, No!," opened my door, and stepped out into the hallway.

That's sexual harassment+